Word of the Week - Joining in and improving my mental health.

I don't like joining in with things. So I've picked Joining as my word of the week.

I do a lot of things but I'm not a fan of joining in with things. I get apprehensive about joining in with groups of people and activities that are already established.

I've got a lot of friends but not many live locally, not many have the same interests as me and not many are available with family commitments to come with me to join in. A low of my friends who live locally are a lot younger than me and therefore have families at home and a lot more commitments after work, dinners to cook, homework to do and activities to ferry their kids to and from, so it's harder to join in with activities on a regular basis.

I'm also not good at commitment. Yes, I managed to train and run a marathon, but it was a short term goal with very little thought and planning and with running I could just come home from work, get changed and go out the door for a run. I didn't have to think about anyone else. Peter was 100% behind me with it.

I'm not a fan of having to be a certain place at a certain time either. It's something I've been struggling with since Stephanie died, getting out the house somedays is still hard for me. I like routine, knowing what I'm doing, but I like to be in control of me, not dictated to by timeframes. I can just about manage getting to work. But give me a doctor's appointment or a coffee date, a parkrun or even a beloved football match and I can struggle to get out the door. I'm frightened something terrible will go wrong. Once I've left the house, I'm ok, but getting out the door is hard, so often once I've gone out, if I've got an appointment, like the Dr's at 6pm , I stay out after work at 4pm and go for a coffee, so I don't have to come home and start the issue with going out again. I even changed my nail bar to a sit and wait to bypass this.

I joined the local gym in November at £32.95 a month for 12 months so I could run during the winter months, but I didn't get on with the running machine and I just ran in the wind, rain, cold and the dark.

I've been a total of 13 times since joining. I could've donated that money to the charity instead. I've got 6 months left on the membership and discovered last week that there are free classes I could've been going to that would've supported my running and I was entitled to a 1 hour introduction session and a training plan to help me reach my goal.

So why didn't I know about that at the time? Because it's all on the app. I'm computer savvy, I do online banking, I run my own blog and website. I'm on tiktok with views into tens of thousands on a couple of posts. 

I told them when I joined what I wanted from the gym. I did have an introduction and said I'd never been a member of a gym before other than one where I just used the pool and sauna (there's no pool here) Said I hadn't been to an exercise class since Step aerobics in the late 80's and had no idea how to use the gym equipment.

I was shown how three pieces of equipment worked, the running and rowing machine and cross trainer and was told if I wanted to know how anything else worked to just ask.

I did ask a few weeks later when my shoulders and thighs hurt from running and was told to do 3 reps of certain exercises, but not how many per week.

So I just stopped going. I work on the theory of 'how do I know what I need to know, if I don't know, what I don't know?'

So this weekend whilst exploring the app to find out if there was anything else I could do. I booked a Legs, Bums and Tums session for Monday night at 7pm.

I arrived 15 mins early and everyone was there with a mat, bar bells and dumbbells, all chatting and friendly. I said hi and said I was new and a woman said 'grab a mat and find a space' and yep I ended up right at the front, with the mirror, with everyone behind me, looking straight ahead and I wanted to bolt.

The instructor was friendly. I told him I've never been to a class before, ever and he said it was ok, he was covering for someone else and was new here himself. He grabbed everything I needed and said just follow him and everyone else and he'd help me out as we went along.

And true to his word, he did. Everyone worked at their own speed through the routine he'd written up on the board. It was a bit of a competition with a few and it took me one rep to work out what I was doing and get my coordination going before I fell into routine and I really enjoyed it.

On Tuesday morning I could hardly walk.

Tuesday evening I went along to the spin class at 6pm, I fell off the bike. I'm not very coordinated and we had to go from sitting to standing and back to sitting. 

On Wednesday morning going downstairs was a major issue, it really hurt. I had less issues after running the marathon.

On Wednesday evening I went for a pump session at 6pm, this one worked the upper body as well and on the Thursday I felt so much better.

For all 3 sessions, I came home from work first, got changed and went back out for them, 15 mins before the class started.

I can book online. The classes run for 45 mins. The gym is at the retail park. I can take part at my own speed, be part of the group if I want, ignore those who are competing with themselves or others.

I've been enjoying the running, it's been good for my mental health, it's been good for the grief. It's been good for my physically.

Do you like joining in with things?

I joined in, but I ran alone. it's how I prefer to be.

From 15 cigarettes a day to 5k and my first parkrun

My couch to 5k training and a parkrun in 4 weeks.

So I decided I needed something to do for myself. Our daughter died in October 2024 from an ischemic bowel. She was disabled and the one thing she could do with total independence was to walk. She never complained because she couldn't verbalise or express herself and she has been my motivation to keep going when I hit a brick wall. 

I love walking and I completed the Ultimate 50 Challenge in the Chilterns in September, raising £850 and awareness for Bowel Research UK in memory of Stephanie. What I didn't consider when I signed up were the words 'Ultimate' and 'Challenge' and what they actually meant and I walked 25km/15 miles in 5 and a half hours with an elevation gain of 486ms. 

I decided to challenge myself further and to take up running and I started the couch to 5k on World Mental Health Day October 10th giving myself just 4 weeks to complete the 9 week program and be ready for my first 5k, a park run by November 8th.

I've not run since I was in school (1986) and I won the victrix ludorum where I competed in the 1500m and 800m in year 4 (now year 10) I ran in flip flops over the dunes in Durban in 2012 chasing the dog who was chasing a monkey, but I was over taken very quickly by the 13 year old who caught up with the dog, before I was half was up the first sand dune and more recently I ran for a train that had already left the station before I started running for it.

I committed to the parkrun with a friend before I started training, she is a volunteer and I knew once I told her I was going to do it, she wouldn't let me back out.

I know there are many of you who have been doing this for a long time, running marathons and thinking 'so what?' just remember, you started somewhere and I'm just sharing my journey.

I'm 54, I smoke 15 cigarettes a day and previous to starting this, I couldn't cough, sneeze or laugh without the risk of wetting myself, I've got a dodgy achilles, bad posture, nerve damage in my neck, suffer with chronic migraines and have a B12 and Vitamin D deficiency. Diagnosed with PTSD, grieving and mental health not good.

Each session is for 30 minutes and I each time I've been walking/running my distance has increased the time spent running.

Week 1 - 10th October 

• Walk 5 mins 
• Run 60 secs was so out of breath it hurt
• Walk 90 secs struggled to get my breathing back
• Repeat x 7
• Walk 5 mins

I need to buy a sports bra. The only part of me that hurts is across my shoulder blades which is apparently due to poor posture.

I also injured myself moving bricks around the garden when the wheelbarrow fell on me taking a chunk out of my right ankle.

Week Two - 17th October 

A 6 mile walk up the Malvern Hills with an incline of just over 1000ft in the first 45 minutes 

• Walk 5 mins
• Run 90 Seconds
• Walk 2 mins
• Repeat 6 times
• Walk 5 mins

I didn't quite get my timings/distance right and had an extra walk home

Wore leggings (I can understand now why women wear their active wear all day even for shopping, so comfy) I'd bought them when I worked with the European Golf and was 10kg heavier, spent the whole run/walk hoiking them up.

Ran to 'Eye of the Tiger' in my mind Sly and the cast were running behind me cheering me on, but at my speed, it was the cast at the age they are now.

• 45 mins swimming.

• Walk 5 mins
• Run 90 Seconds
• Walk 90 secs
• Run 3 mins
• Walk 3 mins
• Run 3 mins
• Walk 3 mins
• Run 90 sec
• Walk 90 secs
• Walk 5 mins

Felt like day 1, out of breath, gasping to get breath back. Resisited the urge not to 'Walk like an Egyptian'

Now running as far as I'm walking each time, but my running speed is the same as my walking speed currently.

Week 3 24th October

• Walk 5 mins
• run 5 mins
• walk 3 mins
• run 5 mins
• walk 3 mins
• run 5 mins
• walk 5 mins

I just couldn't run the 3rd full 5 minutes. I'm now running/walking in a straight line to the retail park where Peter is joining me for a coffee at the end of the session. However it has meant I haven't been doing the stretching exercises until I've got home about an hour later.

I bought a new sports bra. I took advice from an 80 year old on a sports bra in M&S she told me which had the best hold. I asked if ran much and she said no but any sudden movements and she could knock a small child over within 5ft if her boobs weren’t supported.

I repeated the run again on the Sunday and managed the third 5 minute run.

 

The runs are now getting longer and surprisingly I'm finding it getting easier and feeling so much more relaxed.

• walk 5 mins
• run 8 mins
• walk 5 mins
• run 8 mins
• walk 5 mins

• walk 5 mins
• run 20 mins
• walk 5 mins

I was absolutely shattered after the two 8 minute runs, so when faced with the 20 minute run I wasn't convinced I'd manage it. Not only did I manage the 20 minute run, but I also ran for 10 minutes then turned round and got back to my starting point in the 2nd 10 minutes. I felt really good after the run, not tired or out of breath. My pace hasn't improved even though I ran for 20 minutes and walked for 10, compared to when I started in week 1 when I was only running for 8 minutes during the 30 minute session.

Week 4 - 31st October

This week is a mixture of the above with a couple of 10 minute runs with 3 minute walks in between as well as longer runs of 20 and 25 minutes. I've run on Saturday, Monday, Wednesday and Thursday.

I had a bad run this week with a 5 minute warm up walk and a 12 minute run which was mostly uphill which I abandoned after getting out of breath so I returned to walking.

Week 5 - 8th November

Still on week 4 I did my longest run of distance and time on Thursday morning. 3.5k and 25mins of running. All on the flat and all on pavements. I've yet to test myself on grass/mud.

Friday night I drove to Monmouth after work to stay at my friends who has supported me via messaging and calls and love and laughter to get this far so I thought my first parkrun should be where she volunteers at. The parkrun on Saturday went really well. I managed to run the whole distance. I was really pleased with myself and proud of my achievement.

I really enjoyed the parkrun experience. I was apprehensive that I wouldn't as although I'm happy to mix and talk to other people, I don't really like joining in with things I've never done before. That's why I've enjoyed the couch to 5k. I hate the idea of having to drive somewhere, stress over parking, be somewhere at a set time, then worry I won't be able to grasp what I'm supposed to be doing or there are cliquey groups and I find myself alone not knowing what's going on. But my experience at parkrun couldn't have been different, although I was early and I hated the hanging around part.

The briefing was really good and instructions clear. I was introduced as a first timer and throughout the run not only did Kath, cheer me on, but there were volunteers on check points to keep us on route who were clapping, thumbs up and yelling words of encouragement. When I was lapped the other runners were great, with 'you've got this, you can do it' and several people stopped to chat to me afterwards, many who had come on their own, to say I'd done really well and for once I accepted the praise and said 'thank you'

My recovery went well also, with a walk around the town and a coffee to warm down, then I broke my 90 minute drive home up with visiting a couple of friends who have also started running recently for health benefits and home to a hot bath and an early night.

The following day was a rest day, but I did walk 1.5 miles home from the shops as advised online and I'm off for my next run on Monday as I start training for a 10k and another parkrun in Swindon next weekend.

Supporting people with disabilities in South Africa

I'm cheating a bit with this post by adding to a blog thats had over 3,500 hits since I posted it in October last year. The reason for doing this is because I've sold the original bags and I've made some more. If you want to buy a bag click here for more info.

So what happens to your money when you buy a bag?
How does buying a bag help people with disabilities in South Africa?

I don’t work, I volunteer and volunteering costs me money. But where can I get the money from to assist with my volunteer work and just what exactly do I buy with the money raised by selling bags?

To start off with there are NO personal expenses, No fuel allowance. I give my time and transport costs willingly.

Volunteering gets me out, it starves off the depression, it allows me to integrate, learn the culture, the language, make friends, explore new places.

I ‘m a volunteer with Santa Shoebox. I am the sub coordinator for Pretoria and this is my 3^rd year with them.  I don’t fundraise for them, just help with promotion, collection and distribution of boxes at Christmas time. Every Celebration day I attend, I bake cup cakes for each child at the facilities and if I identify a need I can meet and resources are available then I assist. But I do this outside of Santa Shoebox, as in I’m not representing them when I bake my cakes or meet their needs.

Through Santa Shoebox I have become involved with 2 organisations that I volunteer with independently.

I volunteer at Kungwini Welfare Organisation. I am involved with their adult home for people with disabilities, there is little government funding available and they rely on donations, both financial and in goods, goodwill and volunteers. I am also involved with the Children’s home. Their biggest fundraiser is their Nickel Xmas Market.

I’ve also recently become involved with The Viva Foundation in Mamelodi at the Alaskan Informal settlement. Where I spent a weekend with my son painting shacks as part of their Art Festival and I hope to become more involved with them.

At Kungwini I assist in the workshop, I help thread machines, I talk with people, I paint pots, I check quality control, I assist with orders, I identify needs and I try to meet them.

I do this by buying needles, threads, light bulbs for the machines, cottons, glue, paint, brushes, hand held devices for attaching press studs. I rinse out tin cans and plastic bottles from home to use to make crafts. I collect donations from friends, clothing, shoes etc. In the children’s home I provide them with toothbrushes and paste. I teach them how to clean their teeth and what will happen if they don’t, I challenge inappropriate language and comments. I talk about the world, share experiences, go horse riding, help tidy bedrooms, creating a feeling of ownership. I take and print photos, creating a record for these children to take with them through life.

By buying a bag you can help support me with this.

I want to be able to fund this year’s cake baking,  Last year I baked 2000 cup cakes, this year alone I’ve baked 350.

I want to print photos of every activity I’m involved with in the children’s home and help create memories.

I want to buy paint and brushes for Viva Foundation for their next Arts Festival.

I want to be able to buy items needed for the Workshop, to help them grow and develop their crafts to enable them to raise more funds from their Nickel Xmas Market.

I want to be able to have my own stall at a Market selling their crafts and my bags.

I want to be able to buy printing ink to advertise and spread the word about these organisations.

 

But I’m NOT asking you just for your money. I’m asking you to get involved with helping me, by buying a bag, as a gift, for personal use, telling your family and friends about where it came from and where the money goes and how it helps support people with disabilities in South Africa.

I will blog, tweet, post photos. I’m happy to discuss sponsorship requests from Media and PR companies to aid my work.

In October I am climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. I need to find a reputable organisation to go with, source the equipment and clothing needed. Set up fundraising pages (need to get donations from other countries here). I will be using some of the money I raise from selling bags to fund this. I will be paying for my flights, accommodation and the trip myself, unless I can get a sponsor for this. All funds raised from the climb will go to Kungwini to help meet some of their many needs.

 

ORIGINAL POST
I will be in the UK the end of this week and I'm bringing with me an assortment of goodies made at KWO by adults with physical and learning difficulties. I've been learning the trade along the way, so there are a few hand made gifts by me. The workshop at Kungwini Welfare Organisation

Hand bags - Colour and sizes vary (approx 40cm x 30cm) fully lined £10.00

Bag logo

Lining

Beaded Hearts - Colours will vary £2.00

Necklaces - Colours will vary £3.00

Broaches to liven up your winter coat or bag - Colours vary £2.00

Key rings - Colour and styles vary £2.00

Postage and packing extra. Stocks are limited on this trip. Contact me via twitter @chickenruby or through my blog to order