After getting off to a flying start with my new job, I crashed and burned on Monday and it took a lot for me to go in on Tuesday and after lunch I was sent home. I managed to get back in on Wednesday and by 11am I was back home again with an agreement in place that I will take a sabbatical, take the time I need to grieve Stephanie as we approach the one year anniversary on Tuesday next week, reset and start again after the half term.
Sunday
Day 270 A day at the three counties show with child 2, his wife and the grandchildren. A roast dinner and I went to bed the minute they left as I was aching from head to toe.
Monday
Day 271 Stopped on the way to work to take a photo of the autumn mist. Work is mentally challenging and exhausting. Hope it settles soon. Home to do nothing, everything aches, bath, watched TV and in bed by 9pm.
Tuesday
Day 272 I really struggled in work today and it all came out. I’m really struggling as we approach the anniversary of Stephanie’s death, made more difficult by the lack of support from family (not the kids) and lack of friends around us (distance) not helped by starting a new job and the constant anxiety of being asked about my family. Sent home early. Went to the football. Had to leave early for my train home and missed the equaliser.
Wednesday
Day 273 I felt more positive in work, then someone asked me how I was and as much as I tried to convince them and myself I was ok I ended up telling them about Stephanie. Work suggested I take the rest of the month off and start again after half term and have been extremely supportive considering I only started last week. I went home and just had a good cry, chilled out, read my book and went to bed early. The photo out the bedroom window hasn’t had a house behind the hedge since we moved in, in 2002. The one on the right is numbered 64 and on the left is 68. No 66 will be built soon.
Thursday
Day 274 I had a productive day rearranging the back room and dining room and sorting through the Halloween decorations. Moved the garden pots ready to put under the cold frame and bought more compost ready to pot up some bay cuttings. Had my nails done and met up with Peter for a coffee. Had dinner, a bath and watched TV.
Friday
Day 275 We stopped in Hereford for lunch, Abergavenny for a walk and set the van up in Tredegar Country Park for the weekend. Walked around the National Trust House, visited the local pub for dinner and dried off in the van watching the football. Asleep by 9.30pm.
Saturday
Things to make you smile:
I overheard two women talking about all their food allergies as in health style choices and one declared, 'there are so many foods I no longer enjoy, I might as well become coeliac' I'm not sure she gets it.
Camping in South Wales during Storm Amy. Well we were in the campervan.
Things that made me happy:
Being able to say 'I can't cope' and not having to offer a solution. Being listened to and a plan being put into place. Camping, visiting family and friends.
On the blog this week:
Post Comment Love - Link up with any post written this week
Word of the week - Welcome
So sorry that you are not doing great at the moment, you're bound to feel that way with such a big anniversary coming up. I am glad work has been understanding. Sending love and hugs.
ReplyDeleteNo wonder you were aching, the walk on the Saturday and then the show on the Sunday!
That misty morning looks beautiful!
The rest of your week sounds lovely, so relaxed and full of nice things. I hope you did OK in the storm. Eek!
Thank you. We survived the storm, I slept all the way through it
DeleteI'm sorry to hear that things have been really tough this week. It's good that work have allowed you time off and been so understanding. I'm sending you a gentle hug.
ReplyDeleteI love the misty morning photo, it's beautiful.
I imagine it was a blustery weekend in the van for you, it sounds like you had a good time though.
thank you. I slept straight through the storm
DeleteThese anniversaries are always difficult when you've lost someone. It's good that you get support from the people at your new job. I remember that at the last job they had some issues. I hope the weekend away, in the camper, helps a bit.
ReplyDeleteThank you, we got through the anniversary, it was hard though. The weekend away really helped both of us.
DeleteAnniversaries are so hard. It sounds like your new workplace is being understanding of your need for space to grieve at this time and I’m glad that they’re being supportive. I hope you’ve been able to be as gentle with yourself as possible. Thinking of you and sending hugs your way x
ReplyDeleteThank you Louise.
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