Welcome back to #PoCoLo with Stephanie from Bosworth.Life and I.
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It'll be a year on Tuesday 7th October since Stephanie died and I'll be honest I have struggled. I've written about it lots, because Stephanie was a huge part of me and life without her as we knew it has just stopped. I wouldn't say it has changed, because it hasn't in regards, to the things we do, the places we visit, but the hole that has been left just can't be filled. It's so hard to explain how life can stop but yet go on at the same time.
In so many ways things like telephone calls, conversations, just random chats were never there, so they can't be missed. Stephanie took our time, our worries, our effort and energy. There's no guilt, no wasted time, no what if's. There's just a hole, tears, a pain, a gasp for air and just random staring into space midway through a conversation or mundane activity like doing the washing up.
During this year we've had two new grandchildren who have brought so much joy, we've travelled, I've started a new job. There is so much to be thankful for and we'll always be thankful to Stephanie as she was the one who bought our family together in the first place.
I wanted to do something in Stephanie's memory, we don't have a place to visit. So last weekend I took part in an Ultimate50Challenge in the Chilterns walking 25kms in 6 hours with a 30 min lunch stop raising £850 for Bowel Research.
This Tuesday we'll be taking a walk back in the woods where we used to take Stephanie as a child, just the two of us, a gentle stroll, a cup of tea back in the van and we'll get fish and chips on the way back and eat them by the river.
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