I started running to clear my head after our daughter Stephanie died in October 2024 realising that a year on there was no support out there. No support from the NHS, private counselling only did so much and was expensive and support groups, like counselling only seem to run between the hours of 9-4pm Monday to Friday with the occasional evening session with most of it online and with huge waiting lists. My only real support in the early days was my GP and the Samaritans, for which I'll be eternally grateful.
Running has giving me the head space I need to 'just be' I'm not great at joining in with things, new places, new people, but I've plucked up the courage to join the gym and a couple of classes and socialise a little but too often I find myself getting tearful and when I'm running I don't need to hold it together in quite the same way.
I hadn't run since I left school in 1987 and I finally got round to stopping smoking in February 2026, something I also did when I was in school.
Committing to running, stopping smoking, dealing with grief has been physically and mentally exhausting and continues to challenge me, but I do like a challenge.
Since starting couch to 5k, I've taken part in two 25k ultras which I've part run and walked, a walking marathon, mostly ran/jogged the Brighton Marathon this year and completed my first ultra marathon mostly jogging in September this year. I'm now training for the London Marathon on the Saturday in April 2026 for which I got in on a ballot and I'm aiming for 5 hours.
I've been doing all of this also for Bowel Research UK, racing funds, £2,000 to date and raising awareness as Stephanie died of an Ischemic Bowel, almost possible to diagnose and in her case too late to treat. Bowel Research UK also conduct research into Hirchsprung Disease a condition that our eldest grandson was born with and spent a considerable amount of time in hospital with and had numerous surgeries in the first two years of his life having a stoma for a period of time also.
Running hasn't been a cure, it is one of many coping strategies, it's what's working for me right now. Some days I fall out of love with it and wander why I'm putting myself through such pain and such commitment, then I think, why not? I enjoy it. It gets me off my arse, out the house and doing something and dinging something that can help others in a small way through fund raising, raising awareness and I'm keeping the memory of Stephanie alive.
#doingitforstephanie
It's awful the lack of mental health. They promote it all the time but the help just isn't there. My daughter sees a psychiatrist and even they are not helpful and her appointments are six monthly! She has to go or she doesn't get her medication. I'm glad you've found something that helps you take your mind of things though, it's also keeping you fit and raising awareness, well done x
ReplyDeleteIt does seem silly that the support is only there between 9 and 4 Monday to Friday when most people are at work. It sounds like the running has really helped you. Good luck with the London Marathon!
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