sad about leaving the kids

I've noticed recently how many people say they feel sad or guilty for going out without their children and leaving them behind with dad or grandparents and a list of instructions. mmmmm you don't have the sole rights to them you know. If things aren't done your way it doesn't mean that things are done wrong. If you miss them that bad don't go out. These are the same people that are going to end with their kids still living at home in their mid 20's with mum as their best friend....seen it so many times.

I left my son with my parents for a week when he was 6 weeks old..I won tickets to the Olympic games in Barcelona and guess what? people said it was wrong, how could I? I'd never do that.....these same people are now moaning at me that they never get time with their partner and want to have more in life than to be just known as a mummy.

How did you meet yours?

I'm the eldest by a few months and with that comes maturity, responsibility and wisdom.

I have 5 children, she has one.

Three of mine have left home, two are in secondary school. Hers is just coming out of nappies.

When we first met I was dressed as a dalek, she was naked apart from a white paper hat.

She has no become one of my closest friends yet we've met three times..think I could tell her just about anything and probably have already.

No we weren't in Kindergarden we were 37 years of age playing fancy dress friday on twitter.

You can find her as @mediocre_mum (or in the pub)

Kids are spoil sports

1.The kids used to get in the bath with me, then they reached the stage where they would get in the bath water after me, then they insisted on clean water....now they don't wash.

2. The kids used to insist the Christmas decorations went up 1st December.....now they know what they are having in advance.

3. The kids used to get me to make extravagant costumes for Halloween, decorate the house and bake goodies to give away...now they won't even answer the door.

4. I bought the kids some England flags.....they won't let me put them up.

Kids are spoil sports...are yours?

Lead by example

I've talked about this before in regards to my 15yo son, but it appears nothing has changed or is going to change.

'He is disruptive, he swears in class, he argues back and often storms out of lessons.'

(That's todays feedback)

Typical behaviour, no an absolute one off, no other child ever does this at his school. So tell me why he's never been excluded, tell me why I'm not called in week after week...go on I dare you.

He is not an adult, HE IS A CHILD. Yes he is responsible for his behaviour and must face the consequences, but his behaviour WILL NOT change when he constantly faces negativity from adults around him.

YOU make the first step, YOU are the adult, YOU demonstrate positive behaviour and he will respond.

Telling my son constantly it...'it had to be you didn't it?' 'here we go again' 'When there's trouble here you are' is not and will not help him in any way at all.

When the rest of the class speak up and say 'Sir/Miss, it wasn't him' and YOU ignore them. And you shout at my son and tell him to 'Get out your classromm' is not going to change his behaviour.

OK, I except on the last occasion the teacher had the guts to apologise, but guess what? They didn't apologise in a loud voice, in front of his peer group or indeed loud enough for the class next door to hear, but quietly and meekly in the corridor as they hurried off to their next lesson.

One final note. Yes, I do know what it's like. I do teach mainstream children and adults, students with behavioural and learning difficulties. I also work in Child Welfare and I am a Psychology student. So been there and done that and often under OFSTED conditions.

Bullying in school

For those of you that read my tweets you'll know I have lots of problems with my 15 year old and his behaviour, however I know that if I shout at him that will just make it worse. But sometimes I have enough with 2 other kids at home plus complicated visits home from step children, combined with an absent hubby in the week, a job and a degree.

When I send my children to school, I expect them to be cared for and treated correctly and certainly not to be shouted at and put down and made to feel useless by an adult in front of their peers.

I do not expect to collect my 15 year old son from school in floods of tears on a regular basis, due to the way he's been blamed and accused of doing things he has taken no role in. This is always evidenced by the other students, by this time though he has served the detention or break time consequence and no apology is given to my him by the adults involved.

To be told everyday by different teachers to shut up, get on with it, leave the classroom is not conclusive to his emotional well being.

I accept my son does wrong, I accept he has stormed out of lessons when hes been told off for doing something he actually did and I have supported the school with punishments at home reflective of the severity of the crime.

There are far too many incidents to trawl through and the school are never willing to go back and discuss anything other than the current one. But this is what happened today and is typical of his school week.

Lining up outside class teacher yells to stop messing around. He is shoved from behind and pushed through doorway of another class, he is yelled at for disturbing the class. In the lesson two girls giggling and screeching, he is told to shut up and tidy up the mess behind him. On his return from the bin a child shoulder barges him sending him flying. He is ordered straight outside the class where he sits for last 20mins with no work to do. Pupils in class complain to teacher immediately that it wasn't his fault.

At end of lesson when all pupils have gone home, Teacher says to him I accept it wasn't you and walks off. No apology, nothing. Silly boy answered him back and guess what Teachers word against his again. The Head can't see me till after half term.