Top Tips for a game night drive on Safari

Don’t expect to be able to take photos unless you have a camera that is capable of taking pictures at night.

Don’t expect to see any particular animal, its not guaranteed. I saw 2 rabbits and an owl in the first hour.

Book in advance as these trips are very popular and fill up fast.

Take a blanket.

Although I don’t wear contact lenses I’d suggest you swop them for glasses, its very dusty and it gets everywhere.

Wear a scarf that you can use to cover your mouth and nose.

Don't shine the torch in animals eyes, it will aggravate them.

These are some of the better pictures I took.

OWL

 RHINO

 HERON

ELEPHANTS

My 'ME' time #MySundayPhoto

I wake up every morning and go downstairs and everything is just where I left it, cushions straight on the sofa, washing up done, laundry up to date, fridge and cupboards full and I hate it.

Why? because I spent 21 years as a full time mummy, firstly to my 3 boys for 7 years then I inherited 2 step children. All I wanted was 'ME' time, 5 minutes peace and quiet every now and then, in August last year I went from being a SAHM to a SAH and for the past 11 months I've had nothing but 'ME' time and I haven't enjoyed it.

My 15 year old arrives next Sunday for 5 weeks, followed by a visit from the 22 year old and his girlfriends for 2 weeks. My next available 'ME' time will be September 17th so for the time being I'm enjoying the calm before the storm and making the most of it.

I get to be a mummy again for 5 weeks

My 15yo son arrives from the UK on July 27th and while he thinks he’s on school holidays, then coming to South Africa for holiday, he’s got another thought coming.

I won’t be made to feel guilty for him not living at home anymore, since returning to UK boarding school almost a year ago, because when we lived in the UK he was in boarding school and then we only lived 4 miles away, instead of the 6000 miles we do now.

I last saw him in April for 3 weeks and we toured the UK on bus, coach, train and foot, visiting his siblings. Hubby was also in the UK in May and took him to see family and friends, days out with his siblings and a deep-sea fishing trip. When he came out for Christmas we toured the coast line of South Africa, driving to Durban, down the Wild Coast to Port Elizabeth, the garden route, 5 nights in Cape Town then a drive back through the Karoo with Granny and his older brother.

For this trip we will visit the North Coast, to the beach for a week or so, we have safaris planned as his art course work is focusing on the plight of the Rhino’s and he needs photographs and video footage that he can shoot himself, rather than internet research and library copies. We are also planning a train trip to Cape Town for a few days, just me and him.

But we also have course work, revision to do. His school has emailed a list of what he has to do and they are ensuring he packs his study books in his suitcase. He starts his final year of GCSE’s this September and as the last of 5 children to sit exams I’m really not looking forward to the parenting side of the holiday in regards to home/coursework and revision. Between the 4 boys they know every trick in the book in regards to ‘looking busy, but doing sod all’ but they underestimate my powers as a parent, a teacher and a tutor.

I’m looking forward to being a full time Mummy again, even if it is just for 5 weeks and then the day 15yo returns to the UK, the 22yo and his girlfriend arrive for 2 weeks and that presents a whole different kind of parenting, as he left home aged 18, 3 months before we moved to SA and I’m not used to ‘parenting’ an independent adult.

Harties CableWay

We try to find somewhere new to visit every month while we are in South Africa, this weekend we visited Hartbeespoort, a 45 minute drive from Pretoria, to collect a mask that a colleague of hubbies had purchased. We decided that on the way home we'd pay a visit to Harties Cableway.

I was a little shocked at the price R160 per person, with a R20 discount if booked online. For South Africa that is on the high side in regards to an entrance fee. The ride was smooth and pretty quick to the top. The cars carry 6 people and they make sure they are full, without separating families and groups.

Once at the top there were sign posts to the pizza shack, toilet, self serve restaurant, bar and kids playing area. I really wouldn't want to visit in the summer as I can imagine it is packed, but on a cold winters day, we were able to walk round, read the information plaques, take photos and find a seat at the bar to have a drink and enjoy the live music.

We opted to eat at the restaurant downstairs, which had a good selection and was reasonably priced. i don't think it is somewhere we will be adding to our 'must take out visitors' list, but we've been and it's another thing ticked off our 'must visit before we leave South Africa' list.

#MySundayPhoto

Too many pictures to choose from today, so feel free to visit my instagram if you're interested.

Visit to the African Cultural Market in Hartbeespoort, followed by lunch at the top of Harties cableway, North West Province, South Africa.

Do you have empathy?

No, not really. Even if two people experience the same thing at the same time, both will react differently, this is because people are individuals and what affects one person and leads to shaping their future can easily be dismissed by another who sees the event as just something that happened and moves on, others may be unable to move on and because others don’t suffer or aren’t affected it doesn’t mean one should be dismissed.

Hubby and I have been talking about this a lot recently, many due to the fact I struggle to say ‘emphasize’.

One of the things we get fed up with, being an expat, is that the rest of the world seem to think that because the sun shines, everything is ok with us, what possible problems could we have? Having no children at home, me not having to work, sun, pool, fabulous scenery, experiences and I’ll not go into the details, but life here in South Africa is just ‘normal’ to us. I mean yesterday I mopped the bathroom floor and put 2 loads of washing on, but you don’t want to hear about that really.

A few months ago I was in a building that was held up at gunpoint, although I wasn’t in the room, I was next to it, blissfully unaware that anything out of the norm was occurring, my reaction shocked me. I was uncontrollable; I shook and was unable to drive home for nearly 3 hours. I spent the rest of the afternoon with a friend until hubby came home, as I couldn’t cope with the thought of being on my own. But that was nothing compared to the person who had a gun held at their head, for the 2^nd time in 2 weeks.

After the first robbery I thought I’d expressed my sincere thoughts, I thought I understood what they’d been through, I imagined how I would have felt and therefore I had emphasized. After the 2^nd robbery and once I’d recovered from the ‘there for the grace of god go I’ I emphasized with them again, because this time it was more real to me …. or was it? I still don’t think I got it right. Some of the staff were back to work the following day, some were off for a fortnight, another had yet another experience when robbers broke into her home a few weeks later, this time she was physically hurt as well as emotionally but was back at work the following day.

The difficulty with empathy is that having empathy often leaves the person you are emphasizing with feeling like they should’ve reacted/responded differently. When someone emphasizes with you, for example they understand what it’s like to pack and move home to a new place and you say to them, but you haven’t moved 6000 miles away from everything and everyone you know it just belittles their experience/situation and they don’t bother emphasizing again, they just that think you’re belittling their experience, but you’re not, you’re just trying to say it was different for you, therefore in conclusion I don’t think anyone has empathy.

You're not perfect either.

For some parents out there who blog about other parents looking down on them, remember this......
when you blog about how the perfect mummy made a mistake or told you how 'perfect' their family are, just remember they are probably telling you this because without knowing it you're probably the person that made them feel inferior in the first place and the reason why perhaps they need to show off to your face, rather than through a blog post. Just remember that next time you go to put someone down, maybe there is a reason they've behaved like that.

I unfollowed a mass of tweeters that do just that, sometimes I was able to read between the lines (140 characters and see just who they were talking about). I don't follow any blogs, but I do click on links on twitter that catch my attention.

There seems to be a change in how blogs are being written, everyone is the expert, professional and their way is the right way, this in turn is leading to a lot of negative blog posts about how wrong these self proclaimed experts are. I think a lot of it comes from some people wanting to add the words 'award winning blogger' to their profiles.

The thing to remember is, that on social media we all come from different backgrounds, different cultures/communities and actually have little in common with one another online. I wrote previously about parenting support in the good old day before social media.

And if your child doesn't get picked to take the lead in the school play or come first at sports day, what's the worse that can happen to them? Most of the time the child isn't actually that bothered, but as parents it seems important to some that their child is the most popular.

As per usual when I tweet or blog something like this I get a string on responses from people who ask 'who me?' it rarely ever is, but it is so reassuring to know that there are people out there that still care about how their opinions on others can upset.

Please note I've used the word 'some' and not 'all' so try not to get offended and please be aware I will be honest with any responses to comments, because I, like 'some' don't believe in playing the game to appear to fit in.