Why as an expat I don't think local schooling is a good idea.

Education and International schools

 
I have no knowledge of International schooling, it was not an option for us when we became expats and moved from the UK to South Africa.

 

I’ve read many articles and blogs about the benefits of local schooling, but when I look for further information in regards to my childrens education I discover that most of the information for local schooling is primary education and the benefits of your child emerging themselves in local schooling.

 

I google boarding schools for expat children and alarmed to discover that this choice is usually made when the child approaches secondary education and the parents are still livng abroad.

 

So why did we choose local schooling over international schooling? Because we were nieve, we listened to the advice we were given only to discover that the advice was based on……..no knowledge of anything other than we had to have a school place for our children in order for us to obtain a visa to move here.

 

Our eldest child child school here in 2011. The school year starts in Jnauary, he entered in Grade 10. In the UK he had already completed 4 months of grade 11, his GCSE year. We opted to move him, prior to his GCSE’s as his UK school wasn’t really performing to the best of his abilities, he ran with the in crowd and every day was a battle. Local schooling for him here was the best thing we did for him, they helped him catch up with this grades, he joined the first team cricket and rugby, not bad for a Pomme, his grades went up, he still ran with the in crowd but the peer pressure was positive.

 

He is finishing Grade 12 in December, he will be 18 years and 11 months. He is on course for Matriculation and entry to Varsity…or is he?

 

Arriving in Grade 10 he was exempt from Afrikaans and learning a 2^nd language. So far entry to Varsity here is going to be difficult. An undergraduate course is 3 years and should he be accepted, as an immigrant all fees have to be paid on being offered a place. To complete his degree and obtain the Hons, he has to reapply and study for a further year.

Should he want to study at a UK university he is required to spend an additional year and move over to the Cambridge school to convert his Matric to A level equivilant, then applky to UK University meaning he wouldn’t be able to start until October 2015, that would leave him with no visa and have to return to the UK in December 2014 and wait 10 months before taking up a UK university place aged 20 years and 10 months, where as had he stayed in the UK he probably wouldn’t have done A levels but if he had he would’ve started University in October this year. He is effectively having to do an additional 2 years of schooling for his A levels.

 

The youngest child entered schooling here in Grade 6, still in Juniors, he had already completed 4 months of secondary school in the UK. Due to a monumental cock up, the company had informed the local school we were only here for 2 years. He wasn’t exempt from Afrikaans as we’d been informed and his Educational Psychology and learning need reports hadn’t been forwarded to the school as they had needed to secure his place, again for our visa application. It became apparent in Grade 7 at the end of the first term, March 2012 that his educational needs were not being met and after reassessment and additional support being given for end of term exams, he had missed out on vital education with him failing terms. I’ve attempted to address his needs with his current school. But as with other local schools I’ve approached, Special Educational Needs are NOT catered for in main stream schooling. I’m banging my head against a wall, the last correspondence I received from him school was a suggestion that he may be suited to schooling else where, but no suggestion as to which school. Schools in Jo’burg are out of the question and trying to find an international school that delivers International GCSE’s and that also caters foor his SEN within a reasonable driving distance is proving impossible. There is a Montesorri school near by that we have applied to but as he had no Montessori experience and is 14 years of age, it doesn’t look likely.

 

We also don’t want our youngest to be in the same situation as the eldest so our only option is looking like UK boarding school for him. He was a pupil at The Downs Malvern College prior to our relocation and he loved boarding, we took this option as the whole boarding approach seemed the best way forward for his learning needs and style, but we only lived 4 miles away and he could come home in the holidays or the odd night if he wanted to. This is not my preferred choice of schooling, but having exhausted all the other options, we need to move fast as he is due to start his GCSE’s in Year 10 this coming September.

For the eldest child we should have chosed International schooling from the start. For the youngest, it seems that UK boarding is and was and should've been our only option. I'm just hoping now we can get a place in time for him to start his GCSE's this year and that he can catch up with the last two years of missed education.

 

Do you buy condoms for your teenagers?

 

It feels as if your kids are little forever and then all of a sudden without you realising it, they’re all grown up.

There comes a time when you can’t blog about them or post photos online because they are grown up and they have a say in how their lives are run.

 

When your kids are little (I’ve got 5) you look at older kids and hear their parents complain and you can never imagine your kids being like that, answering back, wearing clothes you don’t approve of, make up, have unsuitable friends and then you remember being a teen yourself but it’s only when your kids reach their teens that you really remember what it is like.

 

As a parent you have lots of hopes/dreams and visions for their future, your future. You relish the forthcoming freedom of nights out without baby sitters. You have moments where you don’t think they need you anymore. More moments where they don’t think they need you. They make their own decisions, friends, they refuse to wear the clothes you buy them, the bedtime routine is forever a battle, screen time, phone bills, using your car, waiting up all night for them to come home. But they never stop needing you, just their needs change.

You know one day that they’ll leave home, they go slowly over a period of time, staying out with mates, going to college, Uni. They get girlfriends/boyfriends.

 

You worry they’ll get pregnant before they’re ready to become a parent. You give them the talk, advice.

 

You’ll think you’ve prepared them, that you have an open relationship with them, and that they’ll talk to you if there are any problems. You hope they’ll act responsibly.

 

There was a discussion on twitter about Thorpe Park selling condoms, on the shelf amongst the sweets and the concerns of encouraging young people to have sex before they’re ready, of having to explain to younger children what they are when asked and the difficulty of explaining sex in public to a child that isn’t the right age to be learning these things.

 

But I’m a believer in answering children’s questions at whatever age, although I agree that the location and/or timing may not be right. I also don’t believe that a child being able to buy a condom will encourage them to have sex. I’d rather if my child thought about having sex they were able to buy the condom without having to search for it, ask for it as that is more likely to cause them embarrassment and just not to use one. I know that people say if a child is embarrassed to buy a condom then they’re not mature enough to have sex, but come on…real world people it happens. What you do in private you don’t necessarily want anyone else to know what you’ve got planned do you?

 

So when my kids reached around the age of 15 and/or had girlfriends that they spent most of their time with, I bought condoms and left them in their rooms. Yes the younger kids found them, yes they blew them up and made water bombs (expensive exercise) yes they giggled over them and teased their older siblings. But so far no one has knocked on my door telling me their daughter is pregnant, boys are 23, 21, 18 & 14

 

 

How to get credit as an expat

 

It costs a lot of money to move abroad, even when you move with a company that pay your expenses. There are hidden costs, which you can’t claim back. Such as selling your car in your home country, you need a quick sale, you’re not trading up, and you lose money on the sale. Your house is empty, you fail to get tenants before you move. Your container is delayed due to an issue with your visa after you have gone abroad, so you need to buy basic equipment, a bed, bedding, towels, kitchen equipment and don’t forget the school uniform and stationery items you need for the children. You may get an allowance for that but by the time you’ve paid the deposits for your utilities, the deposit on the house you are renting, funds are running low.

Prior to moving to South Africa, we shopped around for International banking, we were promised with one bank, that we’d have an account set up for us, full credit history and the ability to borrow funds.

Our first and only major purchase in South Africa was a car for me, hubby had a company vehicle. Unfortunately I hadn’t sold my car in the UK at that point so I called the ‘World’s Leading International Bank’ and asked to borrow some money. Apparently, as they don’t have an actual branch in the country none of the benefits we’d been promised were available to us, they even cancelled my bank card for ‘unusual activity’ despite us only opening the account to move to South Africa in the first place.

At this point we didn’t have local bank accounts as promised, so to open accounts we had to have documents copied and verified by the local police station, provide references, full copy of contract of employment, and a wage slip. We got stuck in a vicious circle. The company couldn’t provide us with a payslip until we had a bank account to pay the money into, couldn’t pay us the allowance for the same reason, without a car I couldn’t get to the police station to certify our documents and we had almost depleted our UK finances. Without a bank account there was also no way we could rent a property, which meant we couldn’t get proof of residency and I couldn’t get a SIM card.

The circling continued for a while. We finally got local bank accounts; hubby had to give his permission for me to have an account. He also had to take time off work to ‘sort me out’ we approached the garage where he got his company car from and they organised finance with the help of the company, but there were hidden costs. We had to have a 50% deposit due to our nonexistent credit record here. The loan had to be repaid within 2 years, before our visas expired.

So I withdrew the daily maximum from my UK account, having now sorted my UK card out, using a street corner phone box to make the call from having discovered Telkom’s ‘World Calling Card’ I had to walk the short distance to the Mall each day, I was VERY scared, this is South Africa after all. Then when I had enough money I had to walk to another bank, outside the Mall with R50,000 in my bag, to pay the deposit to the garage, and then walk to the bank where the garage had sorted finance to prove we had paid the deposit, then walk to the garage to collect the car.

This was a very difficult and complicated experience, but a necessity which we couldn't avoid. I am currently purchasing a car for my son, we have credit, extended visas, money built up in local accounts, not limited to our immediate area to search for vehicles so the process isn't actually any more complicated than our experiences in the UK athought the interest rates here are much higher.

I'm flying in for Britmums Live

Name: Suzanne, although most be just call me Chickenruby these days

Blog: Chickenruby

Twitter ID: @chickenruby
Height: 5ft 7in
Hair: medium length, sometimes purple or blonde or a mixture of the two. Sometimes I add a monkey as a little accessory
Eyes: Greenish

Is this your first blogging conference?
Yes it is
Are you attending both days?
As long as I get my arse into gear and book a hotel room (contact me if you need a room share, I'm toilet trained, but I may snore)
What are you most looking forward to at BritMums Live 2013?
Putting names to faces and finding out what more I can get out of blogging
What are you wearing?
No idea, depends whatever is not creased or dirty in my suitcase, after being on tour in the UK for the past month
What do you hope to gain from BritMums Live 2013?
Absolutly no idea, I have an open mind
Tell us one thing about you that not everyone knows
I live in South Africa (there may a few people that don't know that) I play the clarinet and know the off side rule

We all speak English, but what happens when it has a different meaning?

Some English regional phrases that may have a different meaning to you.

 

I have South African friends travelling to the UK tonight for a holiday. It made me think about the differences in the use of the English language of which I’ve battled with a little here. It’s not just the words used, it’s the context in which they are used.

I’ve lived ‘oop north’ and dawrn souf’ and have been thrown with ‘daps, pumps and pimpsels as well as ‘muffins, bread cakes and baps’ so I thought I’d put a list togheter for them to use should someone say something that they may think has a different meaning.

I’d love it if you’d add your own to the list.

I would also like to add that I will NOT be held responsible if these words/phrases are used and you get into trouble with any of them. You are advised to proceed with extreme caution.

 

Arse about face                                                  this means you are doing something back to front.

Arse over tit                                                        falling over in style

Barmy                                                                   to describe the weather as in mild

Bum us a fag                                                        not a request for sex, but ‘give me a cigarette’

Blow me                                                                again not a request for sexual favours, used instead of ‘well I never’

Bob's your uncle                                                 used at end of sentence to exclaim ‘it’s easy’

Bung                                                                      as in ‘to throw’ ‘bung us your keys mate’ or a bribe

Butchers                                                               to take a look at something

Can you borrow me a …….                              as in a lend of

Cheerio                                                                  to say goodbye, not just a breakfast cerreal

Cock up                                                                                 again NOT a sexual request but to make a big mistake

Fagged                                                                  ‘I cant’ be bothered’

Gagging                                                                 ‘she’s gagging for it’ as in she wants sex and now

Going out on a Bender                                      heavy drinking session

Gutted                                                                   upset about something ‘I’m gutted’!

Hiya                                                                        to be used in Wales to great everyone

How’s it hanging?                                               ‘How are you?’                   

Hump                                                                     when you have the hump with someone you are in a bad mood

I'm easy                                                                as in ‘I don’t mind’ not just sex

Just a minute                                                      as in South Africa you say ‘I’ll do it now’ means NEVER used in

                                                                                Wales

Knob                                                                      another word for Penis and a door handle, you can also call someone a knob when they do something stupid

Mobile and text                                                   cell and sms

Mug                                                                        if someone is a bit of a mug, it means they are gullible

Narked                                                                  as in ‘pissed off or fed up’

Nesh                                                                      being pathetic, wimpish                                                                     Not my cup of tea                                            something is not to your liking  

Numpty                                                                 polite way of calling someone an idiot

Off your trolley                                                   meaing ‘you’re completely mad’

On the job                                                            either ‘at work’ or ‘having sex’ think context

On your bike                                                        polite way to tell someone to ‘fuck off’

Pants                                                                     polite way to say something is crap/rubbish

Pavement pizza                                                  found outside pubs and kebab shops on a Sunday

                                                                                morning….vomit

Queer                                                                    as in ‘you look a bit queer/ill’

Quid                                                                       a Pound coin

Bladdered, Rat arsed, shitfaced, Trollied    very drunk

Round                                                                    as in ‘your round’ your turn to buy the drinks in the pub

Shag                                                                       a greeting used between male friends as in ‘alright mate’

Shagged                                                                knackered/tired

Shufti                                                                     take a look at something ‘I’ll have a shuftie’

Sick                                                                        as in cool, used to describe something good

Slash and Waz                                                     Take a slash and have a waz mean ‘I’m off for a wee’  quite

                                                                                often an outdoor event

Sorted                                                                   everything is ok or will be made ok

Ta                                                                           to say thank you, to be used in Wales

Tosser and wanker                                            used more as a hand signal for other drivers on the road if they

                                                                                are driving erratically

Totes                                                                     as in ‘I’m up for that’

Waffle                                                                    Brits are good at waffling, talking about nothing, usually the

                                                                                weather

 

what to do with old tin cans

Wash them
Drill holes
Paint them
Decorate them
Plant some seeds
Hang from trees

Jan Cilliers