I've been really trying this week and I feel I've been hit by a brick wall. Life feels so unfair sometimes. Everything on it's own seems so trivial, but added together and add Stephanie into the mix and it's just so difficult and as I type I can feel people switching off just like they do in real life, some to the extent when there is little or no contact anymore and with others where I just slap on a smile and say 'hey I'm fine' but I don't have the energy for their 'stuff' any more.
This week I have an ingrowing toenail, an UTI, had a reaction to a flu jab and have a migraine that the meds aren't shifting. Couldn't get past the Dr's receptionist, couldn't get treatment from the pharmacist and by the time I got antibiotics I was in agony all round. `I had to walk away from comments re Stephanie from someone that should've known better, my words would've been wasted and I was just upsetting myself by staying put.
On a positive, I have the most wonderful and easy to care for hair cut by my wonderful friend. I've spent time with my granddaughter at not one but two halloween parties with some of my oldest friends and I've camped two nights on another friends drive and had coffees and dinners and breakfasts and lots of fresher and time by the sea.
Saturday 24 October Woke up in Rhoose to wind and rain and one heck of a storm so decided there would be no park running for me today especially as neighbouring Porthcawl was cancelled due to the weather. I waited for a break in the weather and headed off to the shower block to get ready for the day, followed by a leisurely breakfast and lazy morning. Around 11.30am I packed up and dried the top shelf after discovering a major leak in the van and headed into Barry for the day. I had lunch in a cafe, won a duck in the arcades, walked on the beach and got drenched through and sand blasted and returned to the van to dry off for a couple of hours, had a kip, read my book, drank tea and dried off. I headed over to Barry Town for the football at 4pm to meet up with a couple of guys to watch the match with, we lost 3-1. The game was televised for S4C. Driving conditions on the M4 down to Monmouth were horrendous with the Motorway speed reduced to 30mph for most of the way and flood water, it was quite frightening. Evening spent catching up with my friend before retiring to the van on her drive.
Sunday 25 October Awake around 9am the new time and we headed into town to The Lounges for breakfast. Back to the house to tidy up the van and we figured out the leak is coming either through a damaged seal round the window or where the bolts are for the awning. After saying bye, I headed to the camp site in Coleford to check in, then it was off to Lydbrook my old neighbourhood to catch up with my old neighbours and then to a Halloween Party where DIL joined me with the grandkids for a couple of hours. Then back to the camp site for dinner and to chill out for a couple of hours before bed at 9pm.
Monday 26 October It's our 24th Wedding Anniversary. I woke up in the campervan in Coleford and after a leisurely breakfast and coffee, a shower, packing up the van I headed over to see the grandchildren for a couple of hours. I was so wet and damp. the van has sprung a leak and most of my clothes in the cupboard were wet, my coat is no longer waterproof and hadn't dried from Saturday. I was cold and hungry as cooking in the van is difficult as we haven't had the habitation check completed yet, so on arrival I gathered everyone up and we went straight out for lunch in the cafe in the village. DILs mother was there painting but she declined the invite as she only had her painting clothes on. I came home via a quick food shop, unpacked, dried the cupboard out, think it's a seal on the window, cleaned the fridge out and just as I sat down Peter rang to say his replacement rail bus service had arrived could I pick him up from the station. We had a take away for dinner and watched TV. Both knackered and an early night.
Tuesday 27 October I had a lie in but I hadn't slept well and had been unwell during the night. The washing and tumble drying got done. The canvas on the van pop up was dried out and we tested the seal on the van window and yes it is the cause of the leak, it should be covered under the warranty. I phoned my friend who had a last minute cancellation at the salon where she works and she fitted me in for a hair cut. Peter dropped me in town and we had a coffee together first. I walked home afterwards. I thought about going to the gym but still not feeling right. We had dinner and watched TV.
Wednesday 28 October Awake early as I'd not been feeling well during the night so we were up and ready to head out to Bath by 8am collecting MIL along the way. Spent the day slowly, didn't buy much, stopped for coffee and lunch on the go, just pottering around. Dropped MIL home around 4pm and stopped at Gloucester North services for an early gluten free dinner of fish and chips which was bloody lovely. Got in and watched the Man City v Brighton game toggling with Liverpool v Chelsea, sad to see Brighton go out, and pleased to hear the Bournemouth result. Had a bath and was in bed by 10pm
Thursday 29 October Decided I need to go to the Dr's and am now on antibiotics, spoke to the pharmacist and will be calling the haematologist about one medication and the neurologist about another and side effects that I believe are causing side effects that the Dr isn't listening to me about that is causing numerous other issues. Peter went into Worcester to do the food shop. I bought a new winter coat, and a coffee and browsed the charity shops before heading home to bake some cakes. In the afternoon I went to the jewellers to get an estimate on fixing some of my grandmothers jewellery that has been sitting in a drawer unloved and unworn for years, get a price to sell some plain gold pieces, get a new strap on a watch for me and buy a couple of Christmas presents. Evening spent on the sofa transferring dates to the new wall calendar for next year and making decorations from old books whilst watching TV.
Friday 29 October Peter and I drove in separate cars to Gloucester for a metaphysical coffee with Stephanie. I felt the need for a visit as it's Halloween and I would've dropped some treats with her. There are so many missed opportunities. We met in Starbucks, me travelling the country roads and Peter via the M5. He got caught in traffic and I was the tortoise arriving ahead of him, just. I drove down to Lydbrook and parked up by the river for a couple of hours then onto my old neighbourhood for the afternoon and evening where DIL and grandchildren joined in for a party with the next generation. So weird to be back with the kids with their kids doing the same activities. I drove on down to Monmouth leaving the party in full swing to spend the night on my friends drive and for dinner. we watched the final of Traitors then off to bed as I had a migraine.
Top - Forever optimistic in Barry Island. Halloween makeup.
Middle - Cat and rainbow
Bottom - Gluten free fish and chips, cobwebs and an afternoon by the river
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My Garden in October 2026