I'm sorry I know I'm letting women down, but seriously who thinks they can actually multi task?
We all say 'men can't multi task' but I don't think us women can either.
Sure I can do lots of things badly, but if I want to do things well I have to do one thing at a time.
But like most women, judging by the tweets, we can't just do one thing at a time, we have lists, we cook tea, make phone calls, sew a hem up on a pair of school trousers and breast feed all at the same time.
When I try multi tasking I end up leaving a trail of destruction behind me. Today I've been altering a dress, made half a handbag, emptied and refilled the dishwasher but not put anything away, stripped the beds but not washed the sheets or re made the bed, been in the pool to cool off and left wet towels everywhere, half written a letter and forgot where I've left it, can't locate my keys for the post box or my charger for the phone under all my mess.
Hubby can't multi task either but he has swept and mopped the kitchen floor and put everything away. I've never seen the floor so shiny, it took him nearly an hour, I thought he was going to dismantle the cupboards so he could finish the job off properly. He's now preparing dinner, from fresh and no doubt he'll have to mop again, but that suits me, while he's busy stuck in the kitchen all day he can't observe my multi tasking mess and my kitchen will be spotless.
Showing posts with label laugh and cry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label laugh and cry. Show all posts
Sunday, 30 December 2012
Thursday, 20 December 2012
The Chickens guide to a stress free Christmas
1. Stick the kids on a plane and send them to the UK until the New Year
2. Open a bottle of wine and sit by the pool
3. Drink wine
4. Drink wine
5. Drin
6.
7.
8. *falls off chair*
9. *snogs the cat*
10. *coma*
Tuesday, 18 September 2012
Tampons, naked saunas and swimming sideways
I've had enough.
Responses from tweets indicate it is the same whatever gym you go to, regardless of where you are in the world.
As I enter the Virgin Active Gym there is a board
'Lets make South Africa Proud'
Followed by a list of do's and don'ts.
'LET'S RESPECT EACH OTHERS BOUNDRIES, SO NO HARRASSMENT OF ANY KIND'
Do you know what that means?
It means if someone isn't respecting your boundries, you challenge an issue or just about anything else, you're likely to get sworn or shouted at, or told to mind your own business.
The pool has a current, yesterday I gave up after 10 lengths, I was in lane 1 of 6, the lane with the strongest current, lane 6 was empty and lanes 2, 3, 4 & 5 were occupied...by men and women training, with paddles and flippers and one guy was even using a snorkel.
The current was so strong it took me 10 strokes to swim up the pool and 16 to get back and most of that was sideways.
Just a thought, silly I know, 'excuse me Sir, would you mind swopping lanes, only I'm just here for leisure swim, maybe it'll be easier for you to swim in the current with your flippers on than it is me'
'fuck off'
I went back to the pool today, I was the only one in theRE, the pool was really cold, but at least the showers were working this week. Last week there was a problem with the hot water so after a freezing cold shower I thought I'd nip in the sauna just for a few minutes to warm up.
I don't particulary enjoy walking in the door and being eye to vagina, thank you very much, OK, people go naked in saunas, but knees bent, legs apart on the top bench, facing the door just really isn't necessary. I walked out, there was nothing I could say.
Anyway back to today, out the shower, why are the doors see through perspex? we don't all enjoy showing off you know. I return to the changing room, put my costume, googles and hat on the floor, open my locker put my clothes on the bench and grab my make up bag and go to the mirrors to sort my hair and face. I return to my bench and despite there being loads of space a woman has put her damp towel on my clothes, I pick it up and ask 'is this yours?' to which she just snatches it off me and puts it back as close to my clothes as she can. I told her I don't want wet clothes and could she move her stuff, she replied that I was to move mine, so I shoved her clothes and bag along the bench, with most of it falling on the floor, grabbed my stuff and went to another bench.
Big mistake...
Me: excuse me would you mind going to the toilet to insert your tampon
Her: Why
Me: *Gives up, gets dressed, buys coffee and blogs*
'LET'S RESPECT EACH OTHERS BOUNDRIES, SO NO HARASSMENT OF ANY KIND' translates to
'LET EVERYONE DO WHAT THEY WANT AND DON'T YOU DARE COMPLAIN OR THEY'LL HARASS YOU'
Responses from tweets indicate it is the same whatever gym you go to, regardless of where you are in the world.
As I enter the Virgin Active Gym there is a board
'Lets make South Africa Proud'
Followed by a list of do's and don'ts.
'LET'S RESPECT EACH OTHERS BOUNDRIES, SO NO HARRASSMENT OF ANY KIND'
Do you know what that means?
It means if someone isn't respecting your boundries, you challenge an issue or just about anything else, you're likely to get sworn or shouted at, or told to mind your own business.
The pool has a current, yesterday I gave up after 10 lengths, I was in lane 1 of 6, the lane with the strongest current, lane 6 was empty and lanes 2, 3, 4 & 5 were occupied...by men and women training, with paddles and flippers and one guy was even using a snorkel.
The current was so strong it took me 10 strokes to swim up the pool and 16 to get back and most of that was sideways.
Just a thought, silly I know, 'excuse me Sir, would you mind swopping lanes, only I'm just here for leisure swim, maybe it'll be easier for you to swim in the current with your flippers on than it is me'
'fuck off'
I went back to the pool today, I was the only one in theRE, the pool was really cold, but at least the showers were working this week. Last week there was a problem with the hot water so after a freezing cold shower I thought I'd nip in the sauna just for a few minutes to warm up.
I don't particulary enjoy walking in the door and being eye to vagina, thank you very much, OK, people go naked in saunas, but knees bent, legs apart on the top bench, facing the door just really isn't necessary. I walked out, there was nothing I could say.
Anyway back to today, out the shower, why are the doors see through perspex? we don't all enjoy showing off you know. I return to the changing room, put my costume, googles and hat on the floor, open my locker put my clothes on the bench and grab my make up bag and go to the mirrors to sort my hair and face. I return to my bench and despite there being loads of space a woman has put her damp towel on my clothes, I pick it up and ask 'is this yours?' to which she just snatches it off me and puts it back as close to my clothes as she can. I told her I don't want wet clothes and could she move her stuff, she replied that I was to move mine, so I shoved her clothes and bag along the bench, with most of it falling on the floor, grabbed my stuff and went to another bench.
Big mistake...
Me: excuse me would you mind going to the toilet to insert your tampon
Her: Why
Me: *Gives up, gets dressed, buys coffee and blogs*
'LET'S RESPECT EACH OTHERS BOUNDRIES, SO NO HARASSMENT OF ANY KIND' translates to
'LET EVERYONE DO WHAT THEY WANT AND DON'T YOU DARE COMPLAIN OR THEY'LL HARASS YOU'
Friday, 29 June 2012
The grass isn't greener
I had a bit of a wobbly this morning on twitter. According to some, what makes you a good person, a popular person, a fun person, a person others aspire to be all comes down to the dress they wore at the ... event. And I find this very sad, sad that people think that getting the outfit right equates to being successful, popular, wonderful, brilliant etc, etc, etc.
We all need and seek attention and in our own minds it is justified. Sometimes we just want to let off steam about something, other times we geninually want help and other times we just want to know we are not alone.
The trouble is in 140 characters it's hard to express what the actual message is.
I deal with things with humour. I'll tweet a serious issue, concern, rant and at the end of the day when it's all come to an end I'll blog it.
You can read my blogs and tweets as informative, as a cry for help as someone who has had a very difficult time and just wants to let off steam or as someone who is attention seeking and wants people to say 'well done you, you've coped so well, aren't you wonderful and btw I love your dress'
And tbh I'm not actually seeking any kind of response from anyone. So why Blog? why tell everyone how hard your life is or how well you've coped. Keep an old fashioned diary if it helps just to write your feelings and frustrations down in.
Well that's what I'm doing but I do choose to publish it, my family and friends back in the UK only get to hear about the outcome, the lovely new house we've moved into or the wonderful trips we've been on and I was hoping that blogging it all would help them to understand, the grass isn't greener, I'm not lucky. I don't want them to say 'well done, I admire you, I could never have coped with that' I just want them to stop saying 'stop complaining, you have a fantastic life'
My life isn't fantastic but it's not shit either. I don't really fit in here, but then I didn't really fit in back in the UK. It's a fact. I'm not public school parent material nor do I fit the mould of being an expat wife. I've tried. I don't do lunches, coffee mornings, play golf or tennis. I can play the part for so long, fret over what clothes to wear, worry about what I look like, how I sound, mind my language. But I can't keep the pretence up for long, I get bored with it, pretending to be something I'm not and that's why I had a rant on twitter this morning.
I actually like being me, I don't want to be anyone else, I don't want their life, their clothes, their issues, hassles. I just about cope with the ones I have. I'm not worse off than anyone else any more than I'm luckier than anyone else.
It's just life and I've got to learn how to live it. I just need a voice to be heard and twitter and blogging gives me that opportunity. Some of you will slate me for it (unfollows) some will slag me off (blocks) and others will be my friends, offering support and advice.
But what I don't want to hear anymore is 'you're so lucky, I wish I could be more like you, I love the way you...... and btw WHERE DID YOU GET THAT DRESS?'
We all need and seek attention and in our own minds it is justified. Sometimes we just want to let off steam about something, other times we geninually want help and other times we just want to know we are not alone.
The trouble is in 140 characters it's hard to express what the actual message is.
I deal with things with humour. I'll tweet a serious issue, concern, rant and at the end of the day when it's all come to an end I'll blog it.
You can read my blogs and tweets as informative, as a cry for help as someone who has had a very difficult time and just wants to let off steam or as someone who is attention seeking and wants people to say 'well done you, you've coped so well, aren't you wonderful and btw I love your dress'
And tbh I'm not actually seeking any kind of response from anyone. So why Blog? why tell everyone how hard your life is or how well you've coped. Keep an old fashioned diary if it helps just to write your feelings and frustrations down in.
Well that's what I'm doing but I do choose to publish it, my family and friends back in the UK only get to hear about the outcome, the lovely new house we've moved into or the wonderful trips we've been on and I was hoping that blogging it all would help them to understand, the grass isn't greener, I'm not lucky. I don't want them to say 'well done, I admire you, I could never have coped with that' I just want them to stop saying 'stop complaining, you have a fantastic life'
My life isn't fantastic but it's not shit either. I don't really fit in here, but then I didn't really fit in back in the UK. It's a fact. I'm not public school parent material nor do I fit the mould of being an expat wife. I've tried. I don't do lunches, coffee mornings, play golf or tennis. I can play the part for so long, fret over what clothes to wear, worry about what I look like, how I sound, mind my language. But I can't keep the pretence up for long, I get bored with it, pretending to be something I'm not and that's why I had a rant on twitter this morning.
I actually like being me, I don't want to be anyone else, I don't want their life, their clothes, their issues, hassles. I just about cope with the ones I have. I'm not worse off than anyone else any more than I'm luckier than anyone else.
It's just life and I've got to learn how to live it. I just need a voice to be heard and twitter and blogging gives me that opportunity. Some of you will slate me for it (unfollows) some will slag me off (blocks) and others will be my friends, offering support and advice.
But what I don't want to hear anymore is 'you're so lucky, I wish I could be more like you, I love the way you...... and btw WHERE DID YOU GET THAT DRESS?'
Thursday, 10 May 2012
I am NOT lucky, this has all been hard work
What does the word Lucky mean to you?
The dictionary definition of lucky is 'having, bringing or resulting in good luck'
The dictionary definition of luck is 'anything that happens by chance, an advantage or sucess due to chance'
So Lucky means to me that someone happens to be stood near me as I trip and they catch me....or I knock a glass out the cupboard, fumble around with it in mid air and catch it just as it hits the ground. Or I roll double six, 10 times in a row to win big in Vegas.
Are you with me so far?
I'm sick to death or being told how lucky I am, to have met my husband, that he has a good job, that we have a nice life style, can afford holidays and live in South Africa, Lucky that I don't have to work, lucky, lucky, lucky.
Well let me tell you and let's clear this up right away. So you're telling me I was unlucky with my first choice of husband? I was unlucky to have 3 wonderful and handsome boys. I was unlucky that I had a crap car and couldn't afford holidays.....oh you don't mean that do you?
Was it luck that I just happened to work as a family support worker? after being lucky to have a NVQ 3 in child care. Was my husband lucky that his wife left him and he needed care for his profoundly disabled daughter and wasn't it lucky that I just happened to be available.
Oh and then I was lucky that he fell in love with me, I was lucky now to be Mum to 5 kids, it was lucky he'd done a degree after school and worked hard, it was lucky that because he had his degree we could afford a house for all 7 of us to live in, lucky that I was able to go to Uni and get a degree, lucky that someone gave me a job, because I had that degree, lucky we could buy nice cars and have foreign holidays?????
Need I go on? Apparently so, because I'm lucky to be living here in South Africa, it had nothing to do with leaving 3 kids behind and all our family in the UK and absolutly nothing to do with my husband having worked hard to get this position.
No, it appears that everytime I just happen to be standing somewhere like outside a travel agents and someone walks out and says 'this is your lucky day' I've decided to pay for your family to go on holiday'
or the other time I was stood at the bus stop and this guy day, pulls up in his car and says 'this is your lucky day, here have my car I don't need it anymore'
So if it's not luck, is it fate? (the power that predetermines events) or is it as I believe just good old fashioned hard work and having made the right choices in life?
The dictionary definition of lucky is 'having, bringing or resulting in good luck'
The dictionary definition of luck is 'anything that happens by chance, an advantage or sucess due to chance'
So Lucky means to me that someone happens to be stood near me as I trip and they catch me....or I knock a glass out the cupboard, fumble around with it in mid air and catch it just as it hits the ground. Or I roll double six, 10 times in a row to win big in Vegas.
Are you with me so far?
I'm sick to death or being told how lucky I am, to have met my husband, that he has a good job, that we have a nice life style, can afford holidays and live in South Africa, Lucky that I don't have to work, lucky, lucky, lucky.
Well let me tell you and let's clear this up right away. So you're telling me I was unlucky with my first choice of husband? I was unlucky to have 3 wonderful and handsome boys. I was unlucky that I had a crap car and couldn't afford holidays.....oh you don't mean that do you?
Was it luck that I just happened to work as a family support worker? after being lucky to have a NVQ 3 in child care. Was my husband lucky that his wife left him and he needed care for his profoundly disabled daughter and wasn't it lucky that I just happened to be available.
Oh and then I was lucky that he fell in love with me, I was lucky now to be Mum to 5 kids, it was lucky he'd done a degree after school and worked hard, it was lucky that because he had his degree we could afford a house for all 7 of us to live in, lucky that I was able to go to Uni and get a degree, lucky that someone gave me a job, because I had that degree, lucky we could buy nice cars and have foreign holidays?????
Need I go on? Apparently so, because I'm lucky to be living here in South Africa, it had nothing to do with leaving 3 kids behind and all our family in the UK and absolutly nothing to do with my husband having worked hard to get this position.
No, it appears that everytime I just happen to be standing somewhere like outside a travel agents and someone walks out and says 'this is your lucky day' I've decided to pay for your family to go on holiday'
or the other time I was stood at the bus stop and this guy day, pulls up in his car and says 'this is your lucky day, here have my car I don't need it anymore'
So if it's not luck, is it fate? (the power that predetermines events) or is it as I believe just good old fashioned hard work and having made the right choices in life?
Wednesday, 9 May 2012
Wow, you've lost soooo much weight.
Er no I haven't.
I've lost the number of times people say this to me, especially when they haven't seen me for a few weeks. Do people have a mental image of me being fat? How do they describe me? 'you know the chubby one that needs to lose weight?
A woman at school said to me today I'd lost so much weight that it really suited me. I told her straight, I haven't lost any weight, But she was adamant that I had, that I had been so much bigger last time she saw me. She was right, I was wrong....No other explanation.
I'm 5ft 7in and weigh 11 stone, yep quite heavy and you'd think I'd need to lose weight, but not really.
I do prefer to wear baggy clothes, loose fitting, especially in this heat, but that doesn't mean I'm covering up my fat.
I wear a size 10-12 on the lower half and a 14-16 on the top half.
So I decided to take some pictures of my fatness so I can take comparative shots next time I'm told I've lost weight.
Front and side images clothed, as appears naturally and as appears when I readjust the waist band on my jeans...i.e.pull them up.
I bought these jeans from Fat Face in November 2010 in a size 10.
I've lost the number of times people say this to me, especially when they haven't seen me for a few weeks. Do people have a mental image of me being fat? How do they describe me? 'you know the chubby one that needs to lose weight?
A woman at school said to me today I'd lost so much weight that it really suited me. I told her straight, I haven't lost any weight, But she was adamant that I had, that I had been so much bigger last time she saw me. She was right, I was wrong....No other explanation.
I'm 5ft 7in and weigh 11 stone, yep quite heavy and you'd think I'd need to lose weight, but not really.
I do prefer to wear baggy clothes, loose fitting, especially in this heat, but that doesn't mean I'm covering up my fat.
I wear a size 10-12 on the lower half and a 14-16 on the top half.
So I decided to take some pictures of my fatness so I can take comparative shots next time I'm told I've lost weight.
Front and side images clothed, as appears naturally and as appears when I readjust the waist band on my jeans...i.e.pull them up.
I bought these jeans from Fat Face in November 2010 in a size 10.
Sunday, 29 April 2012
Drunken Tweeting
Anyone got a clue what i was on about last night?
Answers on a post card please.
13h Suzanne J S @chickenruby
I'm not even making dense. T nydelf
13h Suzanne J S @chickenruby
Think I brat go to bed now
13h Suzanne J S @chickenruby
O ate biltong pm that drunk
13h Suzanne J S @chickenruby
Want to entertain a 13yo? Get pissed and fall over, he's still laughing and in grateful for spell check
15h Suzanne J S @chickenruby
Iim pissed, bloody swedesand theit free flplloeingalcohol
Answers on a post card please.
13h Suzanne J S @chickenruby
I'm not even making dense. T nydelf
13h Suzanne J S @chickenruby
Think I brat go to bed now
13h Suzanne J S @chickenruby
O ate biltong pm that drunk
13h Suzanne J S @chickenruby
Want to entertain a 13yo? Get pissed and fall over, he's still laughing and in grateful for spell check
15h Suzanne J S @chickenruby
Iim pissed, bloody swedesand theit free flplloeingalcohol
Friday, 20 April 2012
Dealing with selfish neighbours on a camp site
This morning at 6.30am I was woken by your two year old, screaming. By 7am you had lost your patience and were outside your tent as the two year old hammered their toys against the tree. You did nothing to stop them.
By 7.15am I gave up trying to get back to sleep and sat drinking tea, reading my book. You offered no apology, not even a friendly smile our a wave to say morning when I noticed you starting at me.
You then proceeded to shout at your child for banging their toy against your car and in frustration you went back inside your tent, leaving the two year old peacefully playing.
However this did not satisfy you, you then proceeded to pick up child and take them back into your tent, where restricted by space your child screamed almost non stop for half an hour.
This was almost unbearable until you and your wife started arguing, you'd let the child wake her up, you should have taken the child for a walk and not woken her up.
At this point my children were awake, grumpy and miserable and decided to take their bad mood out on me. They squabbled through breakfast, argued about the washing up, messed around getting ready and were generally unpleasant and noisy.
Your child had since quietened, your wife was still sniping at you and you sat there starting at us in disgust as it appeared we were the ones ruining your peaceful morning.
Last night when we sat talking after dinner, around 8pm making pop corn without the lid on the pan, laughing and joking and you came over to ask us to keep the noise down as you were putting your child to sleep, we obliged.....tonight we won't.
By 7.15am I gave up trying to get back to sleep and sat drinking tea, reading my book. You offered no apology, not even a friendly smile our a wave to say morning when I noticed you starting at me.
You then proceeded to shout at your child for banging their toy against your car and in frustration you went back inside your tent, leaving the two year old peacefully playing.
However this did not satisfy you, you then proceeded to pick up child and take them back into your tent, where restricted by space your child screamed almost non stop for half an hour.
This was almost unbearable until you and your wife started arguing, you'd let the child wake her up, you should have taken the child for a walk and not woken her up.
At this point my children were awake, grumpy and miserable and decided to take their bad mood out on me. They squabbled through breakfast, argued about the washing up, messed around getting ready and were generally unpleasant and noisy.
Your child had since quietened, your wife was still sniping at you and you sat there starting at us in disgust as it appeared we were the ones ruining your peaceful morning.
Last night when we sat talking after dinner, around 8pm making pop corn without the lid on the pan, laughing and joking and you came over to ask us to keep the noise down as you were putting your child to sleep, we obliged.....tonight we won't.
Tuesday, 17 April 2012
What happens when you google '2011 mens wet speedo contest'laugh
How do people find your blog?
Well I post a link to each blog on twitter and I am a member at Love all Blogs, Mumsnet and Britmums, where most of my traffic comes from.
However people also come accross my blog, usually by accident after searching key terms. Most of them are quite reasonable and sensible, some are just bizarre.
a cage liked fence for keeping toddlers out of danger
expat mums durban
he holds my hand he helps me stand
how hard can it be to move country
how hard can life be
how safe is south africa
the boy that died by getting hit in the neck with a baseball
to get down step daughter agony
woman in bouncy castle
a map where cheetahs live
lion hiding behind grass
teddy bear optician
men in speedos
what season is it
golf ball hit on the neck
potarto
But I think the person who searched the following term was probably left slightly disappointed when they stumbled across my blog, don't you?
'2011 mens wet speedo contest'
What search words have people used to find your blog?
Well I post a link to each blog on twitter and I am a member at Love all Blogs, Mumsnet and Britmums, where most of my traffic comes from.
However people also come accross my blog, usually by accident after searching key terms. Most of them are quite reasonable and sensible, some are just bizarre.
a cage liked fence for keeping toddlers out of danger
expat mums durban
he holds my hand he helps me stand
how hard can it be to move country
how hard can life be
how safe is south africa
the boy that died by getting hit in the neck with a baseball
to get down step daughter agony
woman in bouncy castle
a map where cheetahs live
lion hiding behind grass
teddy bear optician
men in speedos
what season is it
golf ball hit on the neck
potarto
But I think the person who searched the following term was probably left slightly disappointed when they stumbled across my blog, don't you?
'2011 mens wet speedo contest'
What search words have people used to find your blog?
Sunday, 4 March 2012
Do you have conversations like this?
Hubby:
'Darling have you seen the ********?'
Wife:
'Yes it's in the ******** on/in the *********'
Hubby:
'I can't see it?'
Wife:
'Well it's there'
Hubby:
'No it's not'
Wife:
Stops what she is doing, gets up, goes to ********* retrieves said item hands to hubby
Hubby:
'You didn't need to come up, I could've got it myself'
Wife:
sighs
'Darling have you seen the ********?'
Wife:
'Yes it's in the ******** on/in the *********'
Hubby:
'I can't see it?'
Wife:
'Well it's there'
Hubby:
'No it's not'
Wife:
Stops what she is doing, gets up, goes to ********* retrieves said item hands to hubby
Hubby:
'You didn't need to come up, I could've got it myself'
Wife:
sighs
Sunday, 12 February 2012
This email dropped into my box tonight, can't believe anyone would be guliable enough to reply
From: ADRIANA (qxvlphythh@xleesifhkw.com)
Sent: 11 February 2012 16:40:40
To: sweat75@hotmail.com THATS NOT MY EMAIL ADDRESS I WAS COPIED IN
Microsoft SmartScreen marked this message as junk and we'll delete it after ten days.
Wait, it's safe! | I'm not sure, show content
BABE... i guess your not getting any of my email huh? ive beentryign to email u so many times but this dam laptop is such a piece ofgarbage and keeps freezing.. anyways how u been? In case u dont knowwho this is its ME ADRIANA.. we used to chat a bit on facebook and thenI think u deleted me :( haha.. anyways guess what... I got 2 things totell u.. both good news.. 1) im single now.. yup me and my bf broke upabout 3 months ago... and 2) guess where im moving? RIGHT EFFING NEARU.. lol... ur actually the only person im gonna know there.. well 3cousins too but i cant chill with them lol..I remember when we chattedu told me u thought i was cute and u wanted to chill so now we finallycan HAHA! im kinda scared to move.. im hoping this email addy is stillthe one you use and u can chat with me ebfore i get there.. maybe evenhelp me move my shit in...are u still on facebook? i cudnt find ui wassoo confused...anyways im gonna need someone to show me the town andtake me out so u better be around bebe...we only chatted a coupletimes but i remember thinking to myself i wanted to get ot know ubetter when i was single..a nd i thoguth u were cute too but cudnttell u cause i wasnt single lol...ok so more info about me.. well im23.. virgo.. love the outdoors and love to socialize, go out fordrinks, restaurants, movies etc.. travel.. i have a lil kitty namedBOO and i luv her to death... uhhh oh im a super horny gurl too butevery gurl is they just wont admit it. so ilove watching p0rn and allthat.. love sex etc blah blah blah...who doesnt..I really hope we geta chance to chat for a bit either online or on the fone before i getthere enxt week.. i hope u remmeber me and still wanna chill and arentmarried yet lol.. OH YA also.. i need to find a job when i get there..do u have any hookups or know anybody hiring? id LOVE to work in a baror osmehting like that...really anythgin cause my current job is funand all.. and technically i CUD keep doign it but i want a change.. icurrently work from home and well thats cool but i need ot be outmeeting people.. oh wait. i dont think i ever actually told u what idid? hmm shud i......???? ok WELLLL... and dont get all weirded outon me.. i work on a webcam chat community site and i get paid to chatwith people and get naked HHAHA... BOMB right :)? I KNOW.. like ifigure iim horny anyways why not get paid to chat with people and playwith myself heheh...anyways i hope u dont look down on that and NOTHATS NOT WHY IM CONTACTING U RELAX URSELF lol... i actually need helponce i move and i remembered u live there so im reaching out....like isaid before this computer is a complete piece of CRAP and freezes NONSTOP.. ive tried ot send this email to u maybe 3 times already and imhopign this time i can hit SEND before i run into trouble lol..ANYWAYS.. heres the deal....every month natalie (my boss) gives eachof us 3 VIP codes to give out to whoever we want.. so with this code ucan lgoin to watch me at work for free and dont have to pay likeeveryone else... the only way i can give u one of the codes (so we canchat) is if you absolutey DO NOT give it out to anyone else and u ONLYUSE IT FOR URSELF... i only get 3 a month and she gets pissed if morethan 3 people use them so DONT SHARE IT MISTER... i figured u cudalways email me back instead but my email account doesnt even let melogin half the time.. so the bets palce ot chat me is my chat room...if theres anyone else logged in when u sign in ill boot them out.. butremember DONT SHARE THIS PASSWORD PLEASE BABE IM BEGGING U.. I TRUSTU... im online most of the day now to try and save money for my move..also since im in such a huge debt already form my student loan :( Ireally thingk we need to chat before i get there and make sure u evernremember me hahha.. anyways ive rambled on and on now and ur probablysoooo annnoyed with me so ill stop now.. im gonna go start work.. ireally hope u come chat me. it wud make my day and releive a lot of mystress about the move... REALLY i mean that....anyways once i see u ininsdie ill shoot u myc ell number and u can gimme yours.. if u dontwanna come chat i understand but its really the only palce to find menow days.. if u email me abck ill probably get it once i get thereafter my internet is setup so about 2-3 weeks fomr now.. but im hopignto see u in my chat room.. rmemeber its 100% free with this code imgonna give u.. just DONT GIVE IT OUT OR ILL KICK U IN THE BALLSINSTEAD OF LICK U IN THE BALLS WHEN IS EE U hahahahha...k babe im outfor now... chat ya soon.. kisses xoxo ADRIANA FREE VIP BYPASS LINK------>> http://bit.ly/zjbsdM
Sent: 11 February 2012 16:40:40
To: sweat75@hotmail.com THATS NOT MY EMAIL ADDRESS I WAS COPIED IN
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BABE... i guess your not getting any of my email huh? ive beentryign to email u so many times but this dam laptop is such a piece ofgarbage and keeps freezing.. anyways how u been? In case u dont knowwho this is its ME ADRIANA.. we used to chat a bit on facebook and thenI think u deleted me :( haha.. anyways guess what... I got 2 things totell u.. both good news.. 1) im single now.. yup me and my bf broke upabout 3 months ago... and 2) guess where im moving? RIGHT EFFING NEARU.. lol... ur actually the only person im gonna know there.. well 3cousins too but i cant chill with them lol..I remember when we chattedu told me u thought i was cute and u wanted to chill so now we finallycan HAHA! im kinda scared to move.. im hoping this email addy is stillthe one you use and u can chat with me ebfore i get there.. maybe evenhelp me move my shit in...are u still on facebook? i cudnt find ui wassoo confused...anyways im gonna need someone to show me the town andtake me out so u better be around bebe...we only chatted a coupletimes but i remember thinking to myself i wanted to get ot know ubetter when i was single..a nd i thoguth u were cute too but cudnttell u cause i wasnt single lol...ok so more info about me.. well im23.. virgo.. love the outdoors and love to socialize, go out fordrinks, restaurants, movies etc.. travel.. i have a lil kitty namedBOO and i luv her to death... uhhh oh im a super horny gurl too butevery gurl is they just wont admit it. so ilove watching p0rn and allthat.. love sex etc blah blah blah...who doesnt..I really hope we geta chance to chat for a bit either online or on the fone before i getthere enxt week.. i hope u remmeber me and still wanna chill and arentmarried yet lol.. OH YA also.. i need to find a job when i get there..do u have any hookups or know anybody hiring? id LOVE to work in a baror osmehting like that...really anythgin cause my current job is funand all.. and technically i CUD keep doign it but i want a change.. icurrently work from home and well thats cool but i need ot be outmeeting people.. oh wait. i dont think i ever actually told u what idid? hmm shud i......???? ok WELLLL... and dont get all weirded outon me.. i work on a webcam chat community site and i get paid to chatwith people and get naked HHAHA... BOMB right :)? I KNOW.. like ifigure iim horny anyways why not get paid to chat with people and playwith myself heheh...anyways i hope u dont look down on that and NOTHATS NOT WHY IM CONTACTING U RELAX URSELF lol... i actually need helponce i move and i remembered u live there so im reaching out....like isaid before this computer is a complete piece of CRAP and freezes NONSTOP.. ive tried ot send this email to u maybe 3 times already and imhopign this time i can hit SEND before i run into trouble lol..ANYWAYS.. heres the deal....every month natalie (my boss) gives eachof us 3 VIP codes to give out to whoever we want.. so with this code ucan lgoin to watch me at work for free and dont have to pay likeeveryone else... the only way i can give u one of the codes (so we canchat) is if you absolutey DO NOT give it out to anyone else and u ONLYUSE IT FOR URSELF... i only get 3 a month and she gets pissed if morethan 3 people use them so DONT SHARE IT MISTER... i figured u cudalways email me back instead but my email account doesnt even let melogin half the time.. so the bets palce ot chat me is my chat room...if theres anyone else logged in when u sign in ill boot them out.. butremember DONT SHARE THIS PASSWORD PLEASE BABE IM BEGGING U.. I TRUSTU... im online most of the day now to try and save money for my move..also since im in such a huge debt already form my student loan :( Ireally thingk we need to chat before i get there and make sure u evernremember me hahha.. anyways ive rambled on and on now and ur probablysoooo annnoyed with me so ill stop now.. im gonna go start work.. ireally hope u come chat me. it wud make my day and releive a lot of mystress about the move... REALLY i mean that....anyways once i see u ininsdie ill shoot u myc ell number and u can gimme yours.. if u dontwanna come chat i understand but its really the only palce to find menow days.. if u email me abck ill probably get it once i get thereafter my internet is setup so about 2-3 weeks fomr now.. but im hopignto see u in my chat room.. rmemeber its 100% free with this code imgonna give u.. just DONT GIVE IT OUT OR ILL KICK U IN THE BALLSINSTEAD OF LICK U IN THE BALLS WHEN IS EE U hahahahha...k babe im outfor now... chat ya soon.. kisses xoxo ADRIANA FREE VIP BYPASS LINK------>> http://bit.ly/zjbsdM
Sunday, 5 February 2012
'What have you been doing all day?'
I've got a bit of a temperature, sore throat, runny nose and my body aches. So yesterdayI took to my bed for the afternoon, dosed up on paracetamol, a mug of tea, book and twitter and fell asleep for a short time.
During this time my family left me alone, they watched TV, no arguments. It was bliss.
Hubby called me around 8pm to say he'd made a curry and would I like some..it was delicious.
I had a fitful sleep during the night, was up and down, some tweeting, tea, a smoke.
I woke this morning at 8.30am and hubby left the house within 15 minutes to take his car to be cleaned.
I saw the devestation in the kitchen and I freaked. Onion peel on the floor, curry stains on the work service, plates, pots and pans piled high all coated in the yellow curry stain.
I made a cup of tea, I put the bread maker on and knocked up a sausage casserole for in the week as the meat was going out of date today.
Still feeling ill and very hot, I opted to run the iron over the school uniform so I could then justify going back to bed and resting for the day.
I was ignoring the mess, he'll clean it if I leave it...but I couldn't ignore and despite him not being here to hear me, I thumped and banged every dirty dish in the dishwasher, I wiped down every surface. A child ran to my rescue and swept the floor joining in with my mutterings. I smashed a crystal wine glass, not in anger but beacause everything had just been shoved onto the units and came crashing down like Kerplunk when I moved one thing.
I swore, I sweated, I stopped for a drink...I finished, I showered...I went back to bed.
He came home...I told him I was feeling ill still, I asked him to make me a cup of tea...his response was 'what have you been doing all morning?'
I smiled sweetly, I returned to bed, something was muttered in the lounge with younger son.
Tea was delivered and followed with 'can I get you anything else darling?'
I think I might get him to take me out for lunch.
During this time my family left me alone, they watched TV, no arguments. It was bliss.
Hubby called me around 8pm to say he'd made a curry and would I like some..it was delicious.
I had a fitful sleep during the night, was up and down, some tweeting, tea, a smoke.
I woke this morning at 8.30am and hubby left the house within 15 minutes to take his car to be cleaned.
I saw the devestation in the kitchen and I freaked. Onion peel on the floor, curry stains on the work service, plates, pots and pans piled high all coated in the yellow curry stain.
I made a cup of tea, I put the bread maker on and knocked up a sausage casserole for in the week as the meat was going out of date today.
Still feeling ill and very hot, I opted to run the iron over the school uniform so I could then justify going back to bed and resting for the day.
I was ignoring the mess, he'll clean it if I leave it...but I couldn't ignore and despite him not being here to hear me, I thumped and banged every dirty dish in the dishwasher, I wiped down every surface. A child ran to my rescue and swept the floor joining in with my mutterings. I smashed a crystal wine glass, not in anger but beacause everything had just been shoved onto the units and came crashing down like Kerplunk when I moved one thing.
I swore, I sweated, I stopped for a drink...I finished, I showered...I went back to bed.
He came home...I told him I was feeling ill still, I asked him to make me a cup of tea...his response was 'what have you been doing all morning?'
I smiled sweetly, I returned to bed, something was muttered in the lounge with younger son.
Tea was delivered and followed with 'can I get you anything else darling?'
I think I might get him to take me out for lunch.
Sunday, 22 January 2012
How many people fall for these scams?
Yet another email asking if they can borrow my bank account in exchange for a financial reward and an email from the halifax askling me to update my security details.
How many people fall for these bank scams? How many people are just plain greedy?
Here is today's request for help shifting money.
From The Desk Of Baker & Mckenzie Law Firm,1 Essex Street, London WC2R 3HY,United Kingdom. Before i proceed, May i kindly identify myself ,My names are Barrister Harry Goldman and i work as a lawyer to the above mentioned law firm in London Uk.This mail is written to solicit your assistance to be presented as next of kin to my late Clients Mr Frederick M Wong and his wife Ms Lilla C wongwho died in a plane crash some years back. They lost their lives aboard Egypt Air Flight 990 which crashed in the Atlantic Ocean on October 31 1999.You can View this page for further information http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/502503.stm He deposited the sum of fourty seven million United States Dollars ($47,000,000) in a financial firm in Europe andi am in custody of the Certificate of Deposit and all other vital documents he had while alive.In His will before he boarded that ill fated flight , He said and i quote" When i pass on , my wife automatically becomes the beneficiary of all my estates and fundsbut infortunately, His wife was on board with him in that ill fated flight so, the both couples died at the same time.Ever since after their death, the bank where he deposited his funds has contacted me severally for his next of kin to claim his funds and become the beneficary of the funds,But i have tried all my best to locate anybody that is related to my late client all to no avail and that is why i am contacting you for us to avail ourselves of this rare and Gods given opportunity. The deal is very simple and clear as i have used my experience as a renown lawyer to carve out legal modalities of claiming these funds from the bank where they were deposited. I will have to empower you with the Certificate of Deposite (C O D) and pose you to the bank as the Next Of Kin to my late client thereby making you the beneficiary of these funds. I have been mandated by the bank to do this before the end of this month as failure to provide the Next of Kin will attract funds confiscation by the Government of Netherlands.I do not want this to happen to the deposited funds, hence i contacted you to partner with me in the claims. NB: We can invest these funds in Energy as a joint venture or share the funds in 60% /40% ratioDisregard this email as the contents are highly confidential if you are not interested and respond to me asap if you are interested in the deal. Regards,Harry Goldman Esq
How many people fall for these bank scams? How many people are just plain greedy?
Here is today's request for help shifting money.
From The Desk Of Baker & Mckenzie Law Firm,1 Essex Street, London WC2R 3HY,United Kingdom. Before i proceed, May i kindly identify myself ,My names are Barrister Harry Goldman and i work as a lawyer to the above mentioned law firm in London Uk.This mail is written to solicit your assistance to be presented as next of kin to my late Clients Mr Frederick M Wong and his wife Ms Lilla C wongwho died in a plane crash some years back. They lost their lives aboard Egypt Air Flight 990 which crashed in the Atlantic Ocean on October 31 1999.You can View this page for further information http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/502503.stm He deposited the sum of fourty seven million United States Dollars ($47,000,000) in a financial firm in Europe andi am in custody of the Certificate of Deposit and all other vital documents he had while alive.In His will before he boarded that ill fated flight , He said and i quote" When i pass on , my wife automatically becomes the beneficiary of all my estates and fundsbut infortunately, His wife was on board with him in that ill fated flight so, the both couples died at the same time.Ever since after their death, the bank where he deposited his funds has contacted me severally for his next of kin to claim his funds and become the beneficary of the funds,But i have tried all my best to locate anybody that is related to my late client all to no avail and that is why i am contacting you for us to avail ourselves of this rare and Gods given opportunity. The deal is very simple and clear as i have used my experience as a renown lawyer to carve out legal modalities of claiming these funds from the bank where they were deposited. I will have to empower you with the Certificate of Deposite (C O D) and pose you to the bank as the Next Of Kin to my late client thereby making you the beneficiary of these funds. I have been mandated by the bank to do this before the end of this month as failure to provide the Next of Kin will attract funds confiscation by the Government of Netherlands.I do not want this to happen to the deposited funds, hence i contacted you to partner with me in the claims. NB: We can invest these funds in Energy as a joint venture or share the funds in 60% /40% ratioDisregard this email as the contents are highly confidential if you are not interested and respond to me asap if you are interested in the deal. Regards,Harry Goldman Esq
WTF? Alicia Dixon on Sky news, what else is happening in the UK
A couple of weeks ago I was in the gym and was thinking about writing a blog post about the UK Media and what it tells us about Africa you can read the post here http://www.chickenruby.com/2012/01/i-grew-up-with-africa.html
Sky news was on, focusing on the UK. For nearly 10 mins the bar at the bottom of the screen was rolling with news stories of a shooting in Durham, a womans body found in a car and the Premiership results. Not very different from the news items we get here in South Africa.
But what about the main story...in the studio?
Alicia Dixon leaves Strictly Come Dancing and moves to Britians Got Talent...WTF?
I don't watch reality shows and anyone that follows me on twitter will know I enjoy taking the mick out of Strictly Celebs (spot the celeb) get me out of X factor. But seriously? Did we need 10 minutes of, guests in the studios, debating the switch, offering suggestions of who may replace her.
What must the rest of te world think of the UK when they see this?
Sky news was on, focusing on the UK. For nearly 10 mins the bar at the bottom of the screen was rolling with news stories of a shooting in Durham, a womans body found in a car and the Premiership results. Not very different from the news items we get here in South Africa.
But what about the main story...in the studio?
Alicia Dixon leaves Strictly Come Dancing and moves to Britians Got Talent...WTF?
I don't watch reality shows and anyone that follows me on twitter will know I enjoy taking the mick out of Strictly Celebs (spot the celeb) get me out of X factor. But seriously? Did we need 10 minutes of, guests in the studios, debating the switch, offering suggestions of who may replace her.
What must the rest of te world think of the UK when they see this?
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
How to make a perfect cup of tea
First of all....REMOVE MOTHER IN LAW FROM THE KITCHEN....
Today my Mother in Law asked if I wanted a cup of tea...I replied 'oh yes' but as long as you're not masking it.
Brave? Foolish?
Neither, I can't make coffee, she can't make tea, the bag is squeezed within an inch of it's life, then lots of milk is added to dilute the strength, leaving me with a cold cup of tea.
So we had a tutorial. If you ever make me a cup of tea, this is how I like it.
1. Hold Tea bag upright in cup and add milk till the tea (not the bag) is covered)
2. Add boiling hot water to cup
3. Gently stir tea to desired colour has been reached
4. One squeeze of the tea bag as it is removed
5. Add one level spoon of sugar (if my Mother is reading this please note, teaspoon and not desert spoon)
6. Stir (important note for hubby)
7. Sit back and enjoy
Today my Mother in Law asked if I wanted a cup of tea...I replied 'oh yes' but as long as you're not masking it.
Brave? Foolish?
Neither, I can't make coffee, she can't make tea, the bag is squeezed within an inch of it's life, then lots of milk is added to dilute the strength, leaving me with a cold cup of tea.
So we had a tutorial. If you ever make me a cup of tea, this is how I like it.
1. Hold Tea bag upright in cup and add milk till the tea (not the bag) is covered)
2. Add boiling hot water to cup
3. Gently stir tea to desired colour has been reached
4. One squeeze of the tea bag as it is removed
5. Add one level spoon of sugar (if my Mother is reading this please note, teaspoon and not desert spoon)
6. Stir (important note for hubby)
7. Sit back and enjoy
Tuesday, 3 January 2012
Put your Brazilian away please
I've blogged before about the gym, I've never been a member of one before.
Today after swimming I returned to my locker to get my stuff for a shower and there's 3 women, stark naked. Various shapes and sizes and all completely hairless apart from their hair on their head, eyebrows and eyelashes.
They were chatting, then wandered around drying their hair and applying make up.
I'm not a prude, I'll get changed on the beach, I'll sunbathe topless, but I don't parade around in the nuddy.
I grabbed my stuff and headed to the shower, shut my almost see through Perspex door and showered.
I left the shower, there were two women with the doors open and chatting, one was fully shaved the other had a thin strip of hair and they were talking about why they preferred what they had done.
I returned to the changing rooms to dress, weigh myself (in my undies) and do my make up.
They followed me out, stark naked, applying lotions and creams, chatting and oblivious to me dressing under my towel.
Does this happen at your gym? Or Am I just being prudish?
All I kept thinking about was cover your bloody foo foos I don't want to see them.
Today after swimming I returned to my locker to get my stuff for a shower and there's 3 women, stark naked. Various shapes and sizes and all completely hairless apart from their hair on their head, eyebrows and eyelashes.
They were chatting, then wandered around drying their hair and applying make up.
I'm not a prude, I'll get changed on the beach, I'll sunbathe topless, but I don't parade around in the nuddy.
I grabbed my stuff and headed to the shower, shut my almost see through Perspex door and showered.
I left the shower, there were two women with the doors open and chatting, one was fully shaved the other had a thin strip of hair and they were talking about why they preferred what they had done.
I returned to the changing rooms to dress, weigh myself (in my undies) and do my make up.
They followed me out, stark naked, applying lotions and creams, chatting and oblivious to me dressing under my towel.
Does this happen at your gym? Or Am I just being prudish?
All I kept thinking about was cover your bloody foo foos I don't want to see them.
Thursday, 29 December 2011
Give me tea
I love drinking tea, milk, one sugar and cats piss colour, weak but don't just add extra milk as I also like my tea hot.
I love drinking coffee, cafe latte (there's no r in it not laarrrte) single shot and two brown sugars.
Cafe Nero understands 'single shot' so does the near by cafe, sort of, they serve the cafe separate from the latte for me to mix myself.
Hubby has an all action, singing, dancing coffee machine but to be honest it's a fecking flaff...grind the beans, froth the milk, clean the machine and it's tastes more like a cappuccino.
I decided to make myself a 'proper' coffee as my mum describes it (she means instant) as I couldn't be arsed with the machine or going out...took one sip, the smell put me off and I tipped it away...I'm back to my faithful tea...it never let's me down.
I love drinking coffee, cafe latte (there's no r in it not laarrrte) single shot and two brown sugars.
Cafe Nero understands 'single shot' so does the near by cafe, sort of, they serve the cafe separate from the latte for me to mix myself.
Hubby has an all action, singing, dancing coffee machine but to be honest it's a fecking flaff...grind the beans, froth the milk, clean the machine and it's tastes more like a cappuccino.
I decided to make myself a 'proper' coffee as my mum describes it (she means instant) as I couldn't be arsed with the machine or going out...took one sip, the smell put me off and I tipped it away...I'm back to my faithful tea...it never let's me down.
Monday, 26 December 2011
I just want to blow my vuvuzela
So the announcement came on Christmas eve 'closed due to flooding' omg what to do? Cries of 'it's terrible' 'there's a shame' 'what are they going to do about it?' ' it happens everytime it rains'
So they worked hard in Christmas eve clearing up the debris, ensuring that boxing day all was reopened and people wouldn't be upset, people could have their lives back.
This morning I went for a walk, I heard comments 'it's such a shame' 'it's been ruined' 'this shouldn't be allowed to happen in this day and age'
So what has been affected? Why do I want to blow my vuvuzela?
It's a bloody golf course, that's all. What about the rain in the townships? Don't they get flooded? Don't people there lose more than just one day of leisure?
So they worked hard in Christmas eve clearing up the debris, ensuring that boxing day all was reopened and people wouldn't be upset, people could have their lives back.
This morning I went for a walk, I heard comments 'it's such a shame' 'it's been ruined' 'this shouldn't be allowed to happen in this day and age'
So what has been affected? Why do I want to blow my vuvuzela?
It's a bloody golf course, that's all. What about the rain in the townships? Don't they get flooded? Don't people there lose more than just one day of leisure?
Wednesday, 23 November 2011
Meeting men in speedos
I love people watching, I eye up other women for what they are wearing, does it look good on them? Would it look better on me? I smile polietly when someone tells me they've spent all day getting ready and I think I took 5 mins and feel better than you look. It is human nature, we all do it...be honest.
But do men do it? I asked hubby and he said, if a woman really looks a mess it's only because she looks so bad that he has noticed and he usually replies to my comments of 'what a mess' with 'she's made an effort.
But what about men with other men? Do they look at another man and think 'where did he get that shirt? those shoes? that tie?'
Since joining the gym I've come to the conclusion that men do look at other men and aspire to be like them. They all arrive in the morning, mostly with designer bags, shirt on a clothes hanger, wearing the latest gym gear to pump their artificial upper body muscles up higher while their legs remain skinny. but is that just me making an assumption, that they happen to all want to look and act the same?
Well here's my evidence.
I usually have the pool to myself when I go at 8am, but the last few mornings I've been in the water by 7am. Take your average male swimmer, mainly in their mid 30's to mid 40's. Tight speedos snapped into place, snug fitting swim cap and OMG all the equipment they bring with them, flippers, face masks, snorkels, paddles and they pick the middle two lanes as the outside ones have a current. They flex on the side of the pool, adjust their googles, preen themselves and off they go...super warp factor speed, powering up and down the pool, most of them have very good strokes but don't seem to know how to use their legs for swimming. I plod along same speed, breast stroke, up and down, no stopping until I've completed my mile and often swimming two. They stop every 4 lengths to adjust their goggles and flex a bit more.
Now I'm a smoker, I find aerobic exercise difficult, get out of breath and really struggle to swim front crawl, besides my fag would get wet. Now swimming breast stroke my head pops out the water and I can see what is going on in the pool. Today in came 'adonis' no older than 25, red speedos with white flowers on, a swim hat and goggles, he flexed and fiddled with his goggles. And out of the corner of my eye I see the guy in the next lane looking at him, the guy then powers off for 4 lengths front crawl, sips out of his water bottle and 'adonis' guy, lowered himself into the pool and swam 8 continious lengths of butterfly, the hardest stroke known to man, he then swam another 8 of breast stroke, followed by back stroke then front crawl, without once stopping. Guy in the other lane, in his early 40's wasn't going to be outdone and powered himself up and down the lane glancing at 'adonis'. Now this guy had only been in the water for 5 minutes before 'adonis' got in and I'm sure he had a routine he wanted to stick to, he hadn't used his floats or his face mask.
I swam my last 2 lengths and as always, despite being a smoker, I also swim length 64 underwater, so I didn't see the guy climb out the pool and collapse/sit on the end gasping for breath, so as I reached the end of the lane, I pop up above the water and nearly bloody chocked...the guy is sitting their legs in the water, wide apart and I'm stood there staring at eye level with his crotch scrunched up in his speedos....'adonis' is unaware of the competition he has sparked and carries on with his swim.
But do men do it? I asked hubby and he said, if a woman really looks a mess it's only because she looks so bad that he has noticed and he usually replies to my comments of 'what a mess' with 'she's made an effort.
But what about men with other men? Do they look at another man and think 'where did he get that shirt? those shoes? that tie?'
Since joining the gym I've come to the conclusion that men do look at other men and aspire to be like them. They all arrive in the morning, mostly with designer bags, shirt on a clothes hanger, wearing the latest gym gear to pump their artificial upper body muscles up higher while their legs remain skinny. but is that just me making an assumption, that they happen to all want to look and act the same?
Well here's my evidence.
I usually have the pool to myself when I go at 8am, but the last few mornings I've been in the water by 7am. Take your average male swimmer, mainly in their mid 30's to mid 40's. Tight speedos snapped into place, snug fitting swim cap and OMG all the equipment they bring with them, flippers, face masks, snorkels, paddles and they pick the middle two lanes as the outside ones have a current. They flex on the side of the pool, adjust their googles, preen themselves and off they go...super warp factor speed, powering up and down the pool, most of them have very good strokes but don't seem to know how to use their legs for swimming. I plod along same speed, breast stroke, up and down, no stopping until I've completed my mile and often swimming two. They stop every 4 lengths to adjust their goggles and flex a bit more.
Now I'm a smoker, I find aerobic exercise difficult, get out of breath and really struggle to swim front crawl, besides my fag would get wet. Now swimming breast stroke my head pops out the water and I can see what is going on in the pool. Today in came 'adonis' no older than 25, red speedos with white flowers on, a swim hat and goggles, he flexed and fiddled with his goggles. And out of the corner of my eye I see the guy in the next lane looking at him, the guy then powers off for 4 lengths front crawl, sips out of his water bottle and 'adonis' guy, lowered himself into the pool and swam 8 continious lengths of butterfly, the hardest stroke known to man, he then swam another 8 of breast stroke, followed by back stroke then front crawl, without once stopping. Guy in the other lane, in his early 40's wasn't going to be outdone and powered himself up and down the lane glancing at 'adonis'. Now this guy had only been in the water for 5 minutes before 'adonis' got in and I'm sure he had a routine he wanted to stick to, he hadn't used his floats or his face mask.
I swam my last 2 lengths and as always, despite being a smoker, I also swim length 64 underwater, so I didn't see the guy climb out the pool and collapse/sit on the end gasping for breath, so as I reached the end of the lane, I pop up above the water and nearly bloody chocked...the guy is sitting their legs in the water, wide apart and I'm stood there staring at eye level with his crotch scrunched up in his speedos....'adonis' is unaware of the competition he has sparked and carries on with his swim.
Monday, 7 November 2011
Letting go of the past
My husband says I have hindsight, I don’t agree. I always say at the time, if something isn’t right or I want to do something different, but I don’t get chance to stand still long enough to think of another option before a decision is made. I go along with decisions, I say ‘OK’ let’s do it your way’ and I try to make the best of the situation, I’m disappointed, I’m upset, I say so, but I go along with it.
When I pull up in a car park in a new place for the first time or visit a different country, I like to stand still and get my bearings, I like to see what is around the corner, I like to discover new things and places, but I need time to ‘ground’ myself first. I want to speak to people, find out their opinions, their mistakes and when I’m in full possession of all the facts, I may still turn left instead of the advice of turning right, but it’s a well thought out decision. My husband has fixed ideas of do’s and don’ts and when he decides he wants to do something or even not do something, it’s fixed and no amount of discussion will get this changed.
He is a thinker; he mulls things over in his head and then tells me what decision he has made. I don’t think that’s fair, it doesn’t allow for a conversation, persuasion, or give me any insight into how he has reached this decision. He’s not mean, he genuinely feels that the decision he has made is in the best interests of all involved. But, when it goes wrong, when it means I’m the one left to sort out the mess, he always says ‘hindsight is a wonderful thing, easy to say that now’ but I’m not saying it now, I said it at the time, I argued, fought and cried to get him to change his mind, but he stood firm.
Ok we all make mistakes, but it always seems to me that is left to sort them out, my trouble is I lecture too much with the ‘I told you so' and he just switches off, and I achieve nothing except for an opportunity to rant and rave, which never actually makes me feel better.
So the time has come to say ‘No’ these are the reasons I want/don’t want to do something and if you are going to refuse to compromise with me then we will just take longer to do everything/anything, whether it is exploring the beach in different directions or choosing a removal firm or buying a house, I can’t do these things financially without him and he can’t do them without my physical help.
But it is time now for me to be more assertive, in a nice way. But the first thing I have to do is to let go of the past, all the things he has chosen to do, all the things I’ve been left sorting out. All the times I’ve been disappointed because I haven’t got my own way and stop dragging them up every time we face a new situation...I can’t have a future if I won’t let go of the past.
When I pull up in a car park in a new place for the first time or visit a different country, I like to stand still and get my bearings, I like to see what is around the corner, I like to discover new things and places, but I need time to ‘ground’ myself first. I want to speak to people, find out their opinions, their mistakes and when I’m in full possession of all the facts, I may still turn left instead of the advice of turning right, but it’s a well thought out decision. My husband has fixed ideas of do’s and don’ts and when he decides he wants to do something or even not do something, it’s fixed and no amount of discussion will get this changed.
He is a thinker; he mulls things over in his head and then tells me what decision he has made. I don’t think that’s fair, it doesn’t allow for a conversation, persuasion, or give me any insight into how he has reached this decision. He’s not mean, he genuinely feels that the decision he has made is in the best interests of all involved. But, when it goes wrong, when it means I’m the one left to sort out the mess, he always says ‘hindsight is a wonderful thing, easy to say that now’ but I’m not saying it now, I said it at the time, I argued, fought and cried to get him to change his mind, but he stood firm.
Ok we all make mistakes, but it always seems to me that is left to sort them out, my trouble is I lecture too much with the ‘I told you so' and he just switches off, and I achieve nothing except for an opportunity to rant and rave, which never actually makes me feel better.
So the time has come to say ‘No’ these are the reasons I want/don’t want to do something and if you are going to refuse to compromise with me then we will just take longer to do everything/anything, whether it is exploring the beach in different directions or choosing a removal firm or buying a house, I can’t do these things financially without him and he can’t do them without my physical help.
But it is time now for me to be more assertive, in a nice way. But the first thing I have to do is to let go of the past, all the things he has chosen to do, all the things I’ve been left sorting out. All the times I’ve been disappointed because I haven’t got my own way and stop dragging them up every time we face a new situation...I can’t have a future if I won’t let go of the past.
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