Word of the week - Space

This week's word of the week is Space. Space in my head and space to get things done.

Peter is away in Turkey visiting a friend for two weeks. He's home next Tuesday.

I need the space.

Not from him, but to get things done (see last week's post) and just to be. 

I made a right mess last week getting the Christmas decorations out the loft, tidying the loft space, before putting the camping gear back up there for the winter.

This all got rearranged mid week and the suit cases are going to the tip and the decorations have been repacked into boxes after clearing space in the loft.

The fans and camping gear are back in the loft and all the baby equipment is in the wardrobe.

This is what the room looks like now. Ready for child 4 and his wife and family to visit next month. The car seats are going to between the two DILs and the baby bath is going for donation.

My craft room is now beyond use, however, I now have space in the loft room opposite to sort through things properly and I will be rearranging the furniture in here to make better use of the room, but that's a job for the new year.

The loft room. Along with my craft room, formally the attic which we converted into two bedrooms back in 2005 for 2 of the boys. The metal shelves contain my late fathers stamp collection which I'm slowly working my way through and the boxes contain old pub and car badges which will eventually be going up on the outside wall in the back garden, now I've been had the space to able to sort through them properly.

Before

After

Peter wants to help me and that's great, but I only need the help at certain key points and in between the house is in chaos. I go out to work during the day and he is left with my mess. It's not just about space, it's about time and appreciation of their being another person in the house. I'm used to being able to do jobs at my own speed knowing Peter won't be hone till 6pm and now that is something he benefits from with me in work all day. Like not having to finish these tasks in one go.

Having space to leave non fridge/freezer items out until after I've had a cup of tea and sat down for half an hour without 'where do you want me to put these things? I need to use the microwave'

Having the space to leave the baby clothes out for as long as it takes me to upload them to Vinted without 'where would you like me to put these for you?'

Leaving bowls filled with bleach to soak without having to tell anyone 'careful the bowls in the kitchen have bleach in them'

Taking my time to go through paperwork and recycling on the dining room table without taking up anyone else's space. This lot sorted by Monday.

Leaving things on the stairs in piles for each room to take up towards the end of the day without having to resort because someone else has taken them up and put them in the spare room for me, which is a great help, but I tend to forget to put them away when they're 'out of sight, out of mind' This lot sorted by Monday.

For almost all of the time we've been together apart from when Peter retired in June 2021. I've spent an awful lot of time on my own while he's been working, going away most weeks for the odd night while we lived in the UK, then when we moved to South Africa it felt like he was away every other week somewhere in the world. His working days could see him come home after 7pm most days having left the house at 7am and after the kids left home in 2014 and we moved to Dubai, I spent a lot of time on my own and had an awful lot of space to myself.

I get space to empty my head in the mornings when I wake around 4-5am and I sit in the back room with my laptop and a cup of tea. I will do the things that are bugging me, like sorting my bag out, getting things together that I need to drop off or do. Get my blogging done, write letters and reply to emails.

I don't want to be on my own, this isn't what this post is about, it's about having space every now and then to just be or get things done without interruption from day to day life. It's not just about the physical space, it's about the space not to have to think about things, to not have to communicate my thoughts, my needs, my intentions.

I've got a week left to finish a few jobs and for that I now need to write a list. There's stuff for charity shops which I will be donating to in Monmouth once the ones that were flooded have reopened. Stuff for the skip. Books for mum, books for work, books for my friend and cardboard for recycling all currently sitting in the hall. It was all in the car/van on Wednesday ready for dropping off.

Old sweet tubs on the top floor to go into work for food tech. Packed in the car by Wednesday.

A combination of Christmas decorations to put up, a tree and some decorations to donate, mugs for the charity shop and a pile of paperwork on the sofa to sort through. Paperwork sorted on Tuesday.

Then finally the rest of the baby clothes to upload on Vinted, a pile of artificial flowers to add to wreath and a box of Christmas cards to make and write and presents to wrap to go under the tree.

My plan is to be finished over the weekend. A couple of hours a day after work is all I need as I have the space to spread out on in and not have to worry about getting in anyone else's way.

My Garden in October 2025

There's been a lot of manual labour in the garden in October.

A lot of moving pots around.

A lot of preparing for winter.

I thought about doing some winter planting but decided against it.

This side of the house has been a dumping ground for the past 3 years. It can be accessed via a gate from the front where I can get my bike out, but I haven't ridden it for about 2 years. I emptied it all out, made a pile for the tip, kept the wood I have a few projects lined up for that I haven't yet told Peter about and apart from the grandchildren's bike I now have a walkway are of trip hazards and we can fully access the garden tools, the lawn mower and pressure washer and the fleeces I'll be needing soon for the more delicate plants in the garden.

The garden cushions, grandchildren's toys, my inline skates and a mamod train in the boxes. The grey slabs (front left) are the base for the sun umbrella.

I had a bit of an accident when moving some bricks and the wheelbarrow fell on me and I've a big gash on the back of my ankle, it took me out for a while.

But I completed the job and just have a skip run to do before it rains.

I've made small piles of bricks here temporarily. We've got more behind the shed and we'll be using them to make our new path where these hedges are and digging up the paving slabs to use to make the patio one slab wider so we have space to put the sun umbrella up.

I was getting irritated by how messy it was getting under the covered area and I couldn't access things properly. it looks so much better now the cushion box has a new home. I'll be able to start planning the spring planting now I can access everything.

I've got a couple of projects lined up for the pallets, there was no room down the side the of the house so they have to live here under the cover for now.

They can't been seen from where I sit and I now have room for the coat stand and boot rack.

The Patio and garden furniture was jet washed.

The cloche frame has been built and plants selected that will be going under cover when the time comes. We still get some sun here in the winter, which will help with the frosts.

One bed has been weeded and covered with a poly tunnel to see if the Thai Basil and parsley will survive the winter. Some of it has been potted up to go indoors as well.

The other bed still has tomatoes. Once they have ripened, I'll be digging this bed over and preparing it for spring planting.

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My friend bought us this beautiful rose on the first anniversary's of our daughter's death. As our garden is in containers, it meant this rose needed repotting as soon as possible and over wintering in the greenhouse.

I prepped the greenhouse with a raised wooded floor and lined it with a fleece.

Sun reaches this part of the garden all year round

The last job to do other than putting on the fleeces and the cloche was to repot my bay tree cuttings. Pots were around £3 so I bought these buckets at £1 each from B&Q and Peter drilled drainage holes in the bottom. We're going to use them for the hedge in the front garden along with a few other plants such as a hydrangea, as our box plants aren't doing so well (box blight) and it'll be nice to have a bit of colour in the front, rather than a solid wall of hedge, plus as we live near a school we need to be able to see up and down the road clearly before leaving our drive as sadly many parents let their children just run ahead despite knowing there are driveways. 

 

Week 46 2025 - Project 365 and One Daily Positive

I've not been in a good place at the start of the week and it took until Tuesday evening to work out the triggers. I've been catastrophising  again. I'm going to die, the car will crash on the wet roads, in the dark on my way home from work. I'll be hit by a lorry. If I make it home I'll find Peter dead. This is all part of the PTSD. I just couldn't work out why it was back and had me stressing out. I've not been sleeping, eating properly and my brain has been firing at a million miles an hour. Then after events in work on Tuesday and Peter flying out to Turkey and me coming home to an empty house and getting the Christmas decorations out the loft, it hit me. It's a repeat of a year ago. A year since Stephanie died and we're doing the same things, almost at the same time. The only difference being I wasn't in work this time last year. My new job is very stressful, I've already taken a sabbatical. I'm not well, the flu?

The cat has been ever so needy this week. She's used to Peter being home in the day and letting her in and out on demand. with me being in work she's not had that luxury and has obviously been lonely and has been following me around and demanding I let her out one door, then asking to come straight back in through another door.

Sunday

Day 312 We went out for coffee and Peter drove home via the supermarket and I walked back. I got home before him so sat reading in the garden. The tent had finally dried so it was rolled up and packed away in the lounge, the I tidied up the under cover area, swept it and it's now winter ready for me to enjoy. I cooked a roast which we ate around 3pm, we watched some football. I had an early bath and read. I was in bed and asleep by 8.30pm.

Monday

Day 313 I woke at 4am. I think I could've slept longer, but my brain was far more awake and raring to go. Peter had done all the ironing over the weekend, so I sorted through that and paired socks, did some blogging, tidied my work bag up, sent some emails and prepared a parcel for posting. Then off to work for the day. A staff meeting till 5pm then home. Peter persuaded me to do my run even though I wasn't feeling it and I was stressing out as I'd not remembered the meeting. I was feeling sick, had a knot in my stomach, was anxious, panicking that I messed up the whole evening, was in tears by the time I got home. I ran 3.5km and Peter collected me as I ran to the shops to pick up a few things he needs for his trip tomorrow. I felt so much better doing the run, sticking to my plan/routine, talking it through, explaining how I'd felt and getting the support I needed. We had yesterday's left overs for dinner, watched TV, had a bath and bed.

Tuesday 

Day 314 I didn't sleep at all. A sad day in work. A colleagues father died suddenly. My line manager gave me the heads up that I might like to avoid the staff room at break time with all the speculation as it was all over the news. I was really emotional due to her kindness thinking that it might be a trigger for me. Peter off to Turkey for two weeks to stay with his friend and family. After work I went to the post office. 2nd parcel to be returned after post office staff convinced me the other options (Evri and DPD) were just as good and would save me money (£2.70) Evri parcel already cost me another £3.99 to send the normal way. I couldn't get a new pre paid prescription online and over the phone the online payment wouldn't accept my Santander bank card. When I got home I discovered I'd only been given 2 weeks worth of medication instead of a month. Put both vehicles on charge, washing and drying on. Took the camping gear and fans up to the first floor and brought the Christmas decorations downstairs. Made dinner, my lunch for tomorrow, watched Eastenders, had a bath and was in bed by 10pm.

Wednesday

Day 315 Didn't sleep very well, frantic till midnight that I'd plugged the vehicles in wrong and they'd catch fire, up and down to the window. Up at 5am and put some practice GCSE maths and English papers together to print at work. Into work, covering all years in Science, it was a full on and stressful day. Out for my run after work, coffee on my own and a walk home. The run didn't go well, too cold and wet, so I made an enquiry about going the gym. Home to sort the washing, have dinner, watch TV and had a bath. Did my mums food shop online. Sorted through some paperwork, I tried making a complaint re my parcel with DPD and I tidied the dining room before going to bed at 10pm.

Thursday

Day 316 Took the van off charge and put the cables away. Home from work after a day covering in English and dialled into an online training session while I had an early dinner then off to the Doctors for my B12 jab. Called into the gym to set up my new membership and book an orientation session for Monday. Had a coffee, blogged and read and did some food shopping. Couldn't get through to DPD on the phone, so made a complaint to the Post Office who sold me the service (I'm not hopeful) Can't set up the new OVO app as Peter can't receive texts and it's linked to his number so I have to manually charge the car. Home to do some tidying in the loft and sort through some English GCSE revision papers and list some clothing on Vinted. Had a bath, watched some TV and bed by 10pm.

Friday

Day 317 It’s not particularly heavy but it’s persistent and been non stop raining for 24hrs with so much surface water. The drive to work was tricky, getting home was treacherous. A whole day of covering PSHE and PE lessons. Evening spent uploading more clothes onto Vinted, watching TV, packing for tomorrow, early dinner and bath, a nap, too many biscuits and just chilling out.

Saturday

Day 318 Plans for parkrun and pre Christmas walk in the Cotswolds with my friend Chrissie cancelled after all the rain and road closures. So I had a lie in and drove down the M5 to Gloucester to spend some time metaphysical time with Stephanie for a coffee and some shopping. It was very upsetting, but something I needed to do. I checked the roads and decided to drive on down to the Forest of Dean to visit mum and the grandchildren for a couple of hours, getting home around 6pm.

Things to make you smile:

I can't tell you half the stuff that goes on in work, but lets just say that on the 3rd call out in one lesson, I asked the Head to just take the whole back row and reroute them to save him coming back again, which he did willingly.

Things that made me happy:

Getting through a coffee and a shop without Stephanie, although there were tears and I found it hard, it was comforting to be able relive some happy memories. An unexpected call from child 4 to say him and the family are visiting in December and having some spare time for a visit with child 2 and his family.

On the blog this week:

Post comment Love - Link up with any post this week.

Word of the Week - Things 

My first parkrun 

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14th -16th November 2025 - Post Comment Love

Welcome back to #PoCoLo with Stephanie from Bosworth.Life and I.

Post Comment Love #PoCoLo is a friendly weekly linky where you can link up any blog post you've written this week. If you're new or a regular visitor we're sure you'll find something of interest.

We'd also appreciate your help spreading the #PoCoLo word on Twitter, tag us and we'll RT. You can find us on twitter here: Stephanie - @BosworthLife and Suzanne - @ChickenRuby 

I'll be catching up with reading your posts, sharing and commenting over the next few days. 

Peter is in Turkey for two weeks and my plan had been to sort lots of things that I'd been meaning to do for a long time, but instead I've just about mustered up the energy to the do the things that need doing on a daily and weekly basis as I've been under the weather with a heavy cold and a cough. Work has stretched me to my limits and mentally I've not been in a good place, but the Christmas decorations are down, the camping gear is up and I've got a clear space to work in to do all the other jobs and just over a week left to get everything else on my 'to do' list done.

Camping gear in the spare bedroom.

I've not got some space in the loft to start clearing this out, before I put the camping gear back up.

The christmas decorations aren't in the way and don't need to be up until the first week of December when child 4 and family are visiting from Northern Ireland, a surprise and unexpected announcement made earlier this week. That means it'll be the first time we've had all 4 of our grandchildren together since the last one was born in April this year. All 4 grandchildren have met back in the summer when child 2 and his family travelled over. I can't tell just how excited I am to be able to see them all at the same time.

Christmas decorations in the lounge behind the sofa.

My parkrun last week was a huge success. I'm taking part in another one tomorrow in Swindon with a friend and I've joined the gym so I can train indoors during the winter months.

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Word of the week - Things

There are always so many things to do, things to think about and things to consider. Things that get done automatically, things that get done last minute, things that get put off and put to the bottom of the list and things that get forgotten accidentally and sometimes on purpose.

People tell me I'm so good at remembering things, getting things done and I'm good at working things out. They also seem to think I enjoy doing things.

To be good at remembering things, you've got to want to do things...I write things down. I write lists, I have a birthday list. I write a journal, I have a yearly calendar to look at. I write and address and stamp cards at the beginning of each month and they sit in the hall with the date written in the corner so I remember to post them. I carry gifts in a bag in the car so I can drop them off as I'm out and about.

I've bought all the Christmas presents and cards for family and friends abroad and have written all the letters and posted them for Australia, America, Canada, Germany and South Africa to make sure it all has a chance of getting there in time. 

But I also have lots of other things that have to be done daily, weekly, monthly or just as a one off.

Things I've been putting off:

Anything to do with the loft. The stairs are narrow and slippery and it's hard work getting up and down them if you're carrying things. So bare foot is the only way to go and I'll have to clear everything off the stairs first. As the camping gear needed to go up and the Christmas decorations had to come down. I decided to focus on putting things away that were accumulating at the bottom of the stairs and take the time to sort the rooms once I took the Christmas decorations down so I had space to tidy things before taking the camping gear back up.

I re hung a photo that fell off ages ago and has just been sitting on the stairs.

There are always things sitting around the house waiting to be done, but not getting in the way. This mirror needs to go back on the wall in the downstairs loo and the bag is for the car. It's got my walking boots in it and two books to give to a friend.

There is always cat hair to be brushed off blankets and sofas.

There is always washing up to be done and the dishwasher to be emptied. You can add washing and ironing to the list of things to do also.

There is alwasy recycling to be put out, but as we store it in the house, in a cupboard, it often becomes a mammoth job as it overfills.

We're always on the look out for a permeant storage solution for our things.

Then there are the things that no one can be bothered to do, or don't really matter. Like fixing this blue cable for the outside camera so it's out of sight. it's been like this for two years.

Finding a home for the bag of compost. It'll take me two minutes to put it in the bottom of the cold frame.

There have been lots of other things I found to do this week. My desk was finally tidied and paperwork filed away. When we rearranged the lounge the other week after the flood we ended up with a spare unit that I've now found a home and a use for in the back room. 

When my head is full of things to do, I don't relax or switch off fully. I've given myself a couple of hours every week after work, my run and dinner to get these things done before sitting down to watch TV and into bed by 10pm. I've also made time to read and whilst I still have the Christmas decorations to put up and the boxes to put away. I've got an awful lot of things done that were bugging me and next week I have space and time to do some more of the things I enjoy.