Word of the Week - Acceptance

There are a lot of things I've had to accept this week.

It's not been easy and I've not been happy about it.

But with acceptance has come a lot of peace and with peace has come - moving on.

Initially I was going with unsociable, then procrastination, but I decided to go with acceptance as it is more positive and being positive is my focus.

I published my post on being unsociable, my initial #wotw if you want to read it, as it's how I'm feeling.

This week I've accepted that I'm 4 weeks behind with my marathon training. As a result I went for a run on Tuesday.

I accepted that my drive to work with pot holes, flooding and road closures is stressful, but it's the same for everyone else and I'm not going to worry if yet another delay sees me arrive 10 minutes late, as I'm arriving 15 minutes before lessons start anyway. Now I've stopped worrying about being late, I've reduced the stress and I'm sticking to the longer detours and the main roads.

Since Stephanie died I've accepted that my friendship group has become smaller, but I've recognised that my smaller friendship group has become stronger.

I had my 6 monthly blood test on Wednesday. I'm now in my 10th year of this malarky, bloods will come back out of sync, there will be a recall, doctors receptionist will have concern in her voice, nurse will tell me tests are for x, y & z and I will calmly just let them take the blood knowing no one has read my notes properly and this is normal. It's amazing how hard it is to get my medical records from Dubai uploaded and merged rather than just attached. I've accepted this, but I am fed up of explaining it every time.

I've accepted that there are a lot of things to be done around the house that just aren't getting done because I've been unwell and my to do list had just grown longer and I was getting stressed and putting pressure on myself to get things done. It was taking longer to get better and I started getting migraines. This was all impacting on my running, my journey to work and being unsociable.

My 'to do' list had rolled over from October, was re written as the pages in my diary were turned and a new diary purchased in January and was last added to on the weekend. So I put a big cross through my 'to do list' and moved it to the end of February to take the pressure off. 

*diary corrections to spelling SOW not SEW.

There were a couple of things that were ticked off this week and a couple of things left to be done in the morning for the weekend and one or two things to be done on Sunday, but the other stuff which is not urgent, has been moved away, out of sight, to take away the stress and with that, comes acceptance that I don't need to worry about these things.

I feel much better now I've accepted there are some things I can do nothing about. I've had a migraine all week stressing over my journey to work, not being able to run for the past 4 weeks with the flu and now a migraine and stressing over not getting the jobs done around the house and garden and I was just spiralling, hence the migraine making everything worse.

I'm now looking forward to a nice relaxed weekend in London on the Winter Walk, raising awareness and funds for Bowel Research UK in memory of Stephanie, celebrating her life.

I'm linking up with Raisie Bay with Word of the Week