Welcome back to #PoCoLo with Stephanie from Bosworth.Life and I.
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My mental health has not been good for quite a few years with constant changes in identity with living abroad and the sudden death of my father in 2017, dealing with health issues, then another move and our daughters death in 2024 and a diagnosis of PTSD. It's been a lot to deal with. But I've got through it, still getting through it. There's not a lot of professional help and support out there and once I realised I had to find my own my to deal with things, life got a lot better.
Don't get me wrong, I didn't have to deal with things on my own, I'm just talking about professional support. My husband and close friends as well as our adult children have been there for us, but everyone has their own lives to live as well and also our children and some of our friends live quite some distance away.
I hope by sharing what's helped me, might help others in some way and as it's Mental Health Awareness Week, I thought this would be the best time to share it.
Exercise.
OK so I trained for and ran a marathon.
But I didn't just run a marathon.
I started with couch to 5k and I started with walking. It took me 2 weeks before I was able to run for 90 seconds without every muscle and bone in my body hurting like hell. I'm on my feet everyday in work, but I was also smoking 15 cigarettes a day. I stuck at it. 6 days a week. I repeated week one twice in the first week. It took me three weeks to run for 5 minutes and all of a sudden at the end of week 4 I ran 5k in 37 mins. I can walk 5k in 42 mins. I'm not fast with my running by any means, I've improved and have run 5k in 32 mins, but my average parkrun time is around 40 mins as I walk a lot of it.
Get out there and walk, go on your own, do a parkrun, walk to the corner shop, park a bit further from the shops or on the school run or from work.
Do something new
I hate joining in with things, but I've taken the plunge. Meet new people, step out your side your comfort zone. This relates to exercise, but it could be any class. You can read about it here. I've also joined the library and a book club that meets once a month.
Go for a coffee
Invite a friend, a neighbour or just go on your own. I go for a coffee on my own quite often. I take a book or my laptop and go straight from work and sit and read or blog, sometimes my husband walks down and joins me, sometimes I bump into a friend, or just strike a random conversation with a stranger, or I arrange to meet a friend after work. Sometimes it's planned, other times it's a last minute thing and the coffee shop varies.
Treats
I like to treat myself to a little reward from time to time. It could be having my nails done or buying some fresh cut flowers or some bubble bath and having a super long soak in the bath with a book. It could be making time to watch a movie or a series on Netflix or just wasting the day away in the garden. Next month I'm going to Paris to spend the weekend with my friend I met whilst living in South Africa.
Just start something that works for you
You don't have to run a marathon or travel to Paris. That's a one off and an annual treat.
The weekly gym classes are just till the end of the year as I joined the gym to help with the marathon training so I'm getting my monies worth, the walking and the couch to 5k and the parkruns/walks are free and can be done alone or with a friend. Personally I like my own space and time so I do them alone and it gives me time to just be.
The coffee shop visits can be alone or with a friend or as often as you want or can afford. You can also take a flask and walk to the local park and meet a friend or take a book to enjoy on your own. I often do that as well, take a flask and a picnic and just go on a walk. Sometimes I just walk round the block and eat and my lunch, other times I'll walk for hours and go up the Malvern Hills or walk into town and do a bit of shopping and ask Peter to come and collect me in the car as there's too much to carry back.
Mostly for me what improves my mental health and makes me feel good about myself and makes me feel happy is to surround myself with people that make me feel good about myself and make me feel happy and that I enjoy spending time with and being outdoors as much as possible.
The change starts with you. Don't just read this and think 'it's ok for you' remember my starting point, we all have different goals, different skills, just try something new, who knows where it'll lead?'
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Thank you for shining a light on such an important topic, Suzanne, and for being vulnerable by sharing your own experiences. I'm sure you are reaching lots of people , including me, who appreciate your insights! Thanks, too, for offering such great ideas for dealing with stress and anxiety! Have a good week!
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