The one thing you need to know about being an expat.

Having just started our 4th year as an expat from the UK to South Africa, there are many things I'm still angry about, they prevent me from moving on, but haven't stopped me getting on with things.

I LOVE South Africa, the climate, the lifestyle, the wildlife, but it's not home. I'm not South African. I understand many things about life here but I don't like many aspects of life here.

When I visit the UK it's home, I know what's what, how things work, but there are/were many aspects of my life in the UK I didn't like either.

So what's preventing me from moving on?

The removal firm. Many issues but still things that annoy me today. It was only on the day of removal that the company informed us we couldn't take anything that had been used outside unless it was steam cleaned. It was 2 days before Christmas so we sold and gave stuff away quickly and cheaply. Then they inform us they couldn't book the shipping until after we obtained our visa number. In the end we didn't need to be homeless over Christmas and for another 3 weeks, we could've saved a lot of money if we'd been given time to get items cleaned.

The bank account. We opened an account with HSBC to move to South Africa. On arrival they cancel my bank card due to 'unusual activity' and then tell us that because they don't have a branch here, therefore credit history and ability to borrow money don't apply. We depleted our UK savings to get a deposit for a car (bought beds, kitchen essentials etc, due to delay in shipping furniture) and then borrowed money at 14% instead of 6% the HSBC were offering.

The company. Well it doesn't matter that these people no longer work for the firm, what matters is they lied on headed note paper (email) I can't work, they told me I would be able to. My son has had to return to the UK to complete his education because HR was so desperate to get a school place she never passed on his special needs reports and told the school he'd only be there 2 years. (He's dyslexic and SA main stream schools don't do learning support)

There have been many other things, but like stuff that happened in the UK I consider it to be part of life. Difficulties with neighbours, maintaining friendships and relationships, feeling and being let down, etc, etc, etc.

But just as I feel comfortable, just as I get used to the kids leaving home and making plans to fill the empty nest with further studies, travels, volunteer work the one thing happens that turns it all upside down.

The one thing I'd wish I'd known before becoming an expat is that as soon as you feel settled, adapt and make plans for your future you get asked to relocate. 

Enough is enough...no more moping

I've had it up to here with waiting for other people to get back to me.

I've had enough of companies failing to get back to me, individuals letting me down, by their lack of thought, effort and just dam right lies.

But no more...

I've been depressed, I've been ill, I've shouted, I've complained (telephone, email, letter and in person) I've cried.

And today it stops.

I've given up with my complaint against Vodafone for their complete lack of customer care, refusing to respond to emails, phone calls.

I will not dignify Britannia Movers with replying to their latest email that started....'without prejudice' and ended with 'we contacted the agent in the UK, they said they had no problems' so that's alright then.

I'm resigned to the fact that I don't have a volunteers role with The London2012 Olympics (if anything is offered now it will be accepted)

I'm not going to the Doctors for advice and guidance, they can give me pills, refer me for therapy, but they can't take away how I've felt for the past year, they can't magic me up a job (no one can, the laws of the country make it almost impossible for me to work her). No one can remove the damage that has been done to me as an individual from all the above.

It's my responsibility I've allowed these things to get to me in the absence of anything else in my life (work, study, friends)

I will continue with my quest for compensation with HSBC after I recieved a letter of apology for the fact their advisor and literature mislead us.

I will continue to chase Barloworld Toyota for my tyre pressure guage, even if I have to pay for it myself.

I've got out of bed, I've dressed, I've photocopied my passport to take to the police station to get finger printed so I can get my police clearance check and then I can call some organisations that people have recommend and start the voluntary work.

I'm going to sort Daniels provisional licence out, book Alex his scuba diving lessons, Go to visit the offices of Discovery Med Aid and ask them exactly how this bloody scheme works adn I'm going back to UNISA to find out what course I can study that is relevant to what I've already done and to living here. I've contacted the Open University to find out how/if I can continue with my studies.

But first of all I shall start with a cup of tea, after all I'm British and that's what we do in a crisis.

January's Letter home

So it's been over a year now since we arrived, still so many things to see, places to go and things to sort. This month I've been tackling a list of complaints and renewals for car and house insurance.
The UK Banks Santander and HSBC (overdrafts, change of address and missold policies)
Vodafone (lack of customer service)
Britannia removal firm (their continued failure to reply to my emails asking for help, which yes has now been resolved but all by me, funny that I don't recall paying myself 4K to do it)
Barlowworld Toyota (we will get back to you in 4 days, 11th Jan, in regards to the silly little problem of replacing a valve)
I've synced my diaries...well written down everything off all the bits of paper that have come home from school onto the wall calender and my handbag diary.
Written birthday cards up till the end of March for MIL to post from the UK, sent just as many emails to family and friends, updated facebook, twitter and my blogs and started an Instagram of a picture a day to reflect where i've been, what I've seen or what I've done.

So this months letter home is as follows. I've obviously personalised it with each and everyone.

'Wanted to wait a while before replying just in case anything exciting happened, like a herd of elephants on a drive or an unexpected trip to Bloemfontein or Alex back in hospital after a Heely accident.
Peter's mum was here for 3 weeks, it was lovely to have her, this is the 2nd full day with the kids back in school since she left and I'm missing the company..oh well...cant have it all.
We were in Durban for 3 days it was 40c and 89% humidity without any clouds, so hot our skin literally peeled off our bodies.
Dan was 17 this month and he went with Peter and his mates to Wanderers stadium in Jo'burg to watch SA v Sri Lanka, they were sitting right behind the batsman and were omn the telly every shot, they had a fab day, I stayed home watching crappy films and sleeping.
Alex is fine after his heely accident (official version was a stone jammed under his wheel, I suspect he was being towed by his mates in a golf cart) just a massive black eye which a week on is now green, bless him, the following day he was off to Durban on his school trip and Dan was somewhere in the mountains on his. Peter and I took the opportunity to drive to Bloemfontein for a night away (5 hr journey, combined with work) but it was time away without the kids, which is always nice.
We are starting to make a network of friends now on the estate and have started a school lift share, which I love, Peter takes to school and two other parents collect Alex after school and Dan after sport, I've given the kids a key so I dont have to rush back from swimming at the gym or shopping.
Jamie is coming out in May for 2 weeks, that's the hardest part of living here, is not just being there for the kids when they need us, probably would've gone months without seeing him in the uk anyway...lol. An old school friend is coming to stay also in March, I've seen her once in 20 years and that was in December, will be interesting to see how we get on. We are off for lunch in Soweto next month with a guy we met who is from there.
Still no word from the olympics, im resigned to the fact i havent got it, that way it will be a nice surprise.
Love to everyone
Suzanne and Peter'

I've also set myself a few tasks for February and hope that writing them down on my blog will prompt me to get on with them and blog them next month.

Get a post box...I'm fed up of post being stolen/going missing. We had one birthday card and one letter from the UK and two bills from Telkom arrive in January, the first post since October.

Plan a trip to Soweto for lunch out, make gifts, sort photos, find out if I've got the Olympic gig, book son's flight, get Dan's provisional driving licence (no additional charge for family members on insurance with OUTsurance) I have an appointment to see Discovery about how med aid works (fed up of being fobbed off by agent) I need to get my police check sorted so I can donate some more time with The Baby house and I have a few leads to follow about volunteer teaching in an informal settlement in Mamelodi.