2013 Groovy Mums

Well Kate over on her #Groovymum blog is getting the year off to a flying start. She seems to have a plan for the year rather than a list of resolutions that we know we'll all break anyway. I've a vague idea of what I'm doing for 2013, but currently I don't have any firm plans. However I do have an order of things to do and I'm hoping by writing them down, I'll think of a few ways to implement them. 1. STOP SMOKING OK you've heard this before. I actually stopped smoking in September 2012 and stupidly (nicotine addicted) had the occassional one in November and I'm now a full time smoker. Back to the Doctors on Friday for a repeat prescription for Champix and THIS time I will take the full course. 2. WORK I can't work here....FULL STOP....But I can and have been volunteering with a shoebox project (taking over assistant coordinator role this year) and with @kwo_org supporting adults with disabilities. But there is so much more I could and will be doing so I'm writing this list to motivate me. Tweet more on their behalf, make an effort to find out what is going on Set up Blog for Kungwini Welfare Organisation (any offers?) Put together lesson plans for Sex Education, Basic Lifeskills Make and market more bags, childrens toys, plant holders and kitchen utensil holders and accessories Fix two days a week to visit and stick to it, treat it like a job 3. SEWING See above and MAKE THE BLOODY CURTAINS 4. TIDY/SORT Sort out the family photos, the childrens keep sake boxes, wardrobes, toys, take all unwanted items to KWO 5.MAKE THINGS See 2&3 I had a Dremel for Christmas I want to make some photo frames 6. CLIMB KILIMANJARO Feel free to join in if you ahve any plans and what you're intending to do for 2013 and check back with Kate and on my blog to find out how we are all getting along.

What were your highs and lows of 2012 ?

I hate being tagged, too much pressure, but it's rare that I resist @kateonthinice




1. What was your happiest event?
Seeing my children in the UK

2. What was the saddest thing to happen?
My Dad having a heart attack in June and me being so far away (South Africa)

3. What was the most unlikely thing to happen that actually went ahead and did?
Having a child free holiday and spending two weeks driving the Garden Route to Cape Town.
Kids are currently in UK with their Dad.

4. Who let you down?
Really should stop going on about this, but seeing as I still haven't received an apology or had the problems rectified. I have to say.......my husbands employers

5. Who supported you?
Some good friends that I met through my volunteer work with Santa Shoebox and of course Hubby.

6. Tell us one thing you learned
How to ride an Ostrich http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fee6i0uW_Bk

7. Tell us one thing that made you laugh
Riding the Ostrich

8. Tell us one thing that made you cry
Dad's heart attack, Aunties death, Nephews accident

9. Tell us three things your child or children did to make you feel proud.
Can I tell you 5 things? One for each child.
1. Visiting eldest child in her residential home on the UK and seeing how happy she is.
2. Eldest boy making the decision to leave the army after 5 years, despite not having employment to go to.
3. Youngest child in the UK securing his future and announcing his decision to move to Leeds in the New Year to train as a Sommelier.
4. Eldest son in South Africa getting his Learners Permit
5. Youngest son and child battling through with dyslexia and dysgraphia

10. Tell us one thing that made you proud of yourself.
My volunteer work with @kwo_org and learning a new skill of sewing and being able to use that skill to raise money for essentials such as toiletries.

11. Tell us one challenge you overcame
Speaking out and asking for help with depression

12. Tell us three things you would like to change about your life in 2013.
My fitness levels
My weight
Smoking

I'm tackling the 3 above by climbing Mount Kilimanjaro in 2013



Anyone can join in this meme. I was tagged along with the following:


@DownSideUp, @GertieandGinger @PollyBurns2 @chickenruby @Older_Mum @NewMumOnline, @rachelradiostar @joannah123 @expatmammy @michelloui @aresidence @TheBeezleyBuzz @SonyaCisco @goriami @RP4ges @kykaree @LynseyMummaDuck @Angeline1611 @AutismMumma @jooleroo @spicers1976 @KatBroon @NikkiCrick @cherriemayhem @Glasgow_Mummy @mrsshortiesmind @capturebylucy @missielizzieb @eann_Tan @knackeredhw



I'm afraid I'm not tagging anyone as all the people I would normally tag are in the list above.



There is no pressure to take part.



You don’t have to be tagged to take part.



Don’t forget if you do take part to tag one or more other bloggers.

Sometimes a helping hand is needed

A year ago I stumbled across @kateonthinice (previously known as @netcurtains) groovy mum blog with challenges and a linky. I felt I had lost my way, my groove and although I though the title Grooving mums was a little bit kitch, I thought 'why not?' I had nothing to lose and surely I could only gain friends. i knew I wasn't likely to meet anyone else in a similar situation, but I knew I'd meet others with varying sets of problems and I would be able to reach out to people for mutual support.

Well a year on, nothing has changed. Yep i'm serious, I still cook, bake, garden and I now even own a slow cooker. I've made some friends, I volunteer and I explore further a field, but I'm still lonely, I still haven't adjusted or even accepted that my life as I knew it, stopped over night.

I don't know how to reinvent myself, when all I know is lots of kids, activities, work, study and a great social life is what made me, me. That all took 39 years to reach that stage and I've finally reached the stage where I have acknowledged that my life can't be like that over night and I have to accept that this is how life is now for me.

It all got a bit too much, not just the life changes, but dealing with illness in the family, house move, renewing visas, letting go of the past in regards to hubbies company and lack of promised support. I'm struggling to let go, move on and start living a new life when I'm still pinning for the old one.

So last week, despite my reservations, when the migraine from the stress was so bad that I ended up on a drip, I finally spilled everything in one go to the Doctor, who said it was obvious I was depressed and prescribed me medication and a referral to see a clinical psychologist.

I don't know if the medication and therapy will work, but I'm going in open minded. I've been calmer in the last week, despite also giving up smoking, I've exercised more and been eating more fruit. Maybe it's just a lifestyle change I need to make in regards to diet and exercise to fit in with my far from active life style I now lead when sometimes I feel I'm going to die of boredom, that is unless the lonliness doens't get to me first.

Are you needing to recover your groove?

Feeling abit like life is standing still? Pop over to @kateonthinice and her blog to see how you can motivate yourself.

And without further ado here are this month's thoughts for you? I hope one or more of them inspire you and that if they do, you post about your steps towards changing your life in ways large or small and link up.

Back to basics this time I think.

1. Are you proud of the way you look? If you are feeling a little frumpy, what tiny steps can you take to change that?
It's winter here in South Africa so plenty of layers of clothing which adds to the frumpiness of it all, so painted nails, hair done and extra make up applied to add some colour.

2. What skills do you have that are going to waste? What can you do to change that?
Still trying to find away to use my skills, the volunteer work is taking off now. I didn't realise how easy sewing was and I've loved making curtains and repairing clothing.

3. Do you believe in fate or do you think you are in charge of your own destiny? How might you experiment to test your theory?Fate does play a role in our lives, but we shouldn't confuse it with luck. We choose the path we take. For example we didn't have to say yes to a life in South Africa, but I believe fate led us here after years of hard work.


4. How do you feel about helping a good cause? Have you seen the BritMums new service for linking bloggers up to charities? Will you get involved?
I'm currently involved with www.thebabyhouse.co.za and www.kwo.org.za both fantastic charities. The Baby House takes in abused and abondonded babies and KWO runs several projects of education, fund raising and support for adults with learning and physical difficulties

5. Summer Holidays - how can you make them better this year?
Well it's winter here until from June to August, so planning a few camping trips north for September before the Summer kicks in and it's too hot to move far from the air con.

6. The Big Question - what can you live without? These questions are always a little random but see how it strikes you.
Well I'm managing to live with limited internet and slow speed, just about coping without a job and my studies. I could live without Chocolate, wine and cigarettes, but It's never struck me as something I need to go without.

Don't forget you can contact Kate via email for further information, visit her website and link up your post on steps to change.

In search of my Groove

This blog hop was set up by @kateonthinice in September 2011. I joined at the beginning because to be honest I was feeling rather deflated. My whole life as I knew it disappeared over night and other than other expats and my Husband and two teenage boys, no one understood what it was like to move 5000+ miles away from every thing I'd ever know and knew and to start afresh in a country that is famed for it's violence and poverty.

All anyone saw was this Grand house we live in on a golf course, with a river at the bottom of the garden and wall to wall sunshine.

Yes the above did help, but it cannot and will never replace the first year we experienced here, too scared to venture out in case we were hijacked at gun point. Not knowing where to go and have no one to turn to, to ask for help.

But those days are over now, I've made friends, locals and other expats, in fact I met a couple on the weekend, who are not only from the same UK town as us and know some of the same people, but our children were actually at school at the same time, granted theirs are older, but still...coffee at her house this pm. Another friend, Cheryl (she reads my blog) has been a life saver, not only do we have kids who get on well and are the same ages, but we have a similar outlook on life and I don't know what I would have done when I needed a friend and she wasn't there.

There have been fab outings and adventures and I've seen more wild animals than I can shake a stick at.

We've had family and friends to visit and my son is out again next week. But it leaves me with a hollow feeling when they go, I'm back to being on my own, while they go back to their lives of work, family and friends...But no more moping. I have my wonderful Husband and two kids here, we all have our health, I have friends and although I still cannot work, I can volunteer, which I've been doing for nearly a year now.

So no more me needing to Recover my groove, it's not back, it's just different, my grieving period for my old life has gone and it has morphed, painfully, into a new one. But I will still take part in #Groovymums, it will remind me how far I've come over the past year...and on that note...

"I encourage you to read the questions here http://kateonthinice.wordpress.com/how-to-be-a-groovy-mum/ and if even one rings true for you, join in. You can do this by linking up relevant blog posts about how you are taking steps to change your life for the better even if in tiny ways. You are also invited to join the Groovy Mums Ning network http://groovymums.ning.com to meet some like-minded ladies keen to get their lives back on track."

Here are some challenges you may want to consider this week.

1. Body – What new ways can you find to take exercise?
Not alot of opportunities here, without getting in the car first, I've thought about learning to play golf, it's a cure apparently 'all the expat ladies play' but it doesn't appeal, it's not me. I use the gym every day, swimming, and now the weather is cooler I will start to walk around the course after play finishes for the day.

2. Mind – It is Depression Awareness Week. Have you experienced depression? Do you know how to spot the signs of depression in your loved ones and others? Check out http://blackdogtribe.com for information and support with mental health issues. They are also asking for your stories.
Yes I've been depressed, did you read the intro to this above?

3. Blogging – Did you know http://britmums.com publish round-ups of good posts on certain issues such a food, politics, special needs, green issues, health and more? Why not promote your posts to the editors of these round-ups and raise your profile?
I do visit @britmums more often than I used to and where I can't add, I RT.

4. Special Days – This week saw us marking St George’s Day. Is there a dragon that you need to tackle in your life?
Mmmmmmm, hi family,let me know you read this, could do with your help and no I won't be asking, because I know you are reading this.

5. Charity Connections- Get shopping online and hundreds of retailers will give a percentage of what you spend to a charity of your choice. Click here http://www.give.as/kateonthinice and register for free for Give As You Live with your name and email address. Do it today! You don’t have to spend any money now but it means when you do shop online you can ensure some of the money goes to a good cause. Why wouldn’t you? When you click, you will see poppies because I am personally raising money for the Royal British Legion but you can register here and then when you shop, you can select a charity of your choice.
Sorry, there is no way I'm doing any transactions online over here.

6, The Big Question – What has the last year brought you? Are you happy with it?
Well again, please see the introduction, Yes I am happy, I've laid alot of ghosts to rest, I've learnt to ignore the rest. I've also spoken up and made it clear with certain people, that I am not happy with the way they have treated me and my family (ie hubbies company) and I've told them what they need to do, to help us. They will never make amends and in fact they've given up apologising, but that hasn't solved anything. I'm satisfied now that I have inconvienced them where it hurts, financially, but not to our gain, just to sort out the bloody mess they made. And on June 1st we move into our new house and I can/will finally move on.

Linking up with # groovymums from last week, I've opted to use challenge number 6 as a way to find out how to be an effective volunteer in Africa. To find out why organisations are turning me away. I have skills, qualifications and experience, but they are just not interested. What am I doing wrong? 6
. The Big Question – what one small thing can you do that will make a big difference?  Take this how you will and in a way that serves you. 

You wouldn't believe the knock backs I'm getting here in South Africa.
I research, computer on twitter and make contact and get knocked back.
I'm not qualified, I'm not the right race, I don't speak the language and I'm not here long enough to make a commitment.
Every bloody day I see tweets about poverty and aids in Africa, every day we are being asked to raise awareness and every day I offer my services. No one asks me what nationality I am, whether I speak any languages other than english our how long am I living here for.
They just tell me they want local people who can offer commitment, understand the culture and the language.
Then they provide me with a link to their fundraising website.

Well I live in South Africa, I'm a qualified lecturer of special needs and life skills, I've planned, developed and delivered child welfare courses, I've trained teaching assistants, I've managed over 120 volunteers in child welfare for The English FA, reaching thousands of individuals, parents, children, coaches.
I have a CV I can send you.
I'm currently involved with @thebabyhouse and @santashoebox. I have time, transport and the will.
So what are you waiting for? Contact me, offer me a volunteers role in your organisation and let me show you what I can do to help.
* I do only speak english, I am white british, but I'm local, I'm here and I'm committed.

Want To Improve Your Life? This Mum Proves It Can Be Done.

The following extract is taken from @kateonthinice Groovymum blog http://kateonthinice.wordpress.com/

As mums we can get bogged down in all the business of it all. It can get us down and we can lose sight of who we used to be or who we aim to be. What can we do to change that? In this guest post from Polly, she tells us how six months ago she decided to take charge of her own life and to talk about how it has gone since. Read what she has to say and then join us at the Twitter Party next Tuesday from 1pm-2pm which you can read all about by clicking here http://kateonthinice.wordpress.com/2012/03/20/will-you-come-to-a-very-special-twitter-party/'

@pollyburns2 blogs about her life as a mum and how she is getting her groove back. She shows us how she can do it, with young children rather than waiting for them to grow up to get her life back.
http://kateonthinice.wordpress.com/2012/03/21/want-to-improve-your-life-this-mum-proves-it-can-be-done/

For me it's not children that have contributed to me losing my groove. When I had my first son when I was aged 20 and he turns 20 in May, my life hadn't actually started. I left home aged 17 and moved away from my home town for work. I spent 2 years as a single mum, married, 2 more children, endless part time jobs including a stint in a chip shop and night classes, divorce, met my husband (married for 10 years this October) inherited 2 step children (the eldest being profoundly disabled) went back to school, got my teaching degree, worked as a lecturer for 3 years training teaching assistants and teaching autistic students, worked as a child welfare officer for The FA and studied for a degree in Psychology and Criminology.

I guess like Polly I wasn't prepared to put my life on hold to raise a family, it ran side by side, often not very smoothly and in September 2010 the 3rd child left home aged 18 to follow a career, like his step brother before him. Step daughter is in residential care and settled into her life time adult home.

So where? how? when? did I lose my groove?

September 2010 to January 2011 was a very busy period for me, exams, tidying up lose ends at work, making sure all my students had passed their NVQs, inducting a new welfare officer, packing, sorting, decorating, renting the house, amending policies, change of address, endless farewells to family and friends and numerous trips to London to sort out the visas.

January 2011 - July 2011 was full of our new and exciting life in South Africa, house hunting, cars, bank accounts, utilities and all without any assistance from hubbies company, including a lost container at customs. Endless family visiting, my eldest, step son, parents, hubbies Mother and sister, no time to breathe,

August 2011 every thing stopped, there were no more visitors lined up, no more hassles to sort, kids settled in school, hubby settled in work and travelling in Africa and back to Europe...and me?

That was the problem there was nothing for me, no job, no studies and only 2 kids instead of the usual 5 on weekends or popping down to Reading to visit son, food shopping to Gloucester to take step daughter out for the day, no football club to fundraise for and no friends to have coffee with.

I stumbled across Kate, I don't recall how or when. I don't so blog hops, I don't join network sites, I don't describe myself as a yummy mummy or a mummy blogger. But something about Kates blog hop drew my attention. I hadn't lost my groove because my kids had got in the way, I wasn't suffering with PND, I'd done all the new baby stuff, the difficult divorce. I'd just lost my groove and happen to be a mum because I'd moved 5764 miles from home.

Like Polly I find that tuesday mornings I'm looking for Kates new challenges, it helps me reflect on the week that has gone, helps me to focus to realise that I have done things that are worthwhile, that I do have value as a mum, a wife, a person and it helps me set myself little challenges to get me out more, to volunteer, to meet people and it gives me like minded people to talk to, has introduced more traffic to my blog, encouraged me to not be put off by joining other neetworks and has helped me meet more expats that understand where I'm coming from to realise .... I AM NEVER ALONE

my groove is recovering nicely, thank you

Having linked up with @kateonthinice back in September http://kateonthinice.wordpress.com/2012/03/06/a-kick-up-the-bum-for-mums/ join in and link up, it's free and doesn't hurt.
I relished and looked forward to her weekly challenges for us to 'get our groove back' but the last few weeks have been hard for me and I've been blogging in general about depression. I've not been to the Doctors as I don't feel medication will help, just mask the problems I face. But some big changes in our family are afoot and although I am blogging about it all, you won't see it here for a while, in fact it may never appear in print for a long time if ever.
I do blog about my kids and hubby and they read what I write before posting it, in general they agree, sometimes hubby gets afronted, but that's usually before he's read the whole post to see how it's taken shape.

Anyway Kate's groovy mum challenges this week are as follows and remember they are all optional.

1. Body – how can you incorporate touch into your life this week? Massage or more? You decide but take time out to touch and be touched this week.
LAST WEEK I WENT FOR A MANICURE WHICH ALSO INVOLVED A HAND MASSAGE. I FELL ASLEEP ON THE SOFA SUNDAY NIGHT (PASSED OUT FROM GIN) AND WAS IN ABSOLUTE AGONY WITH AN OLD NECK INJURY BUT HUBBY HAS BEEN GIVEING ME REGULAR MASSAGES WHICH HAS HELPED.

2. Mind – your challenge this week is merely to link up a post about how you are attempting to change your life with steps whether like those of a baby or more solid ones. Any progress is to be celebrated so acknowledge how well you are doing by linking up a post.

TAKE YOUR PICK FROM ANY OVER ON http://www.chickenruby.com BUT I'VE DECIDED TO SPICE UP THE FAMILY MEALS THIS WEEK STARTING HERE http://www.chickenruby.com/2012/03/whats-for-tea.html

3. Spirit – Lent sometimes involves giving things up. What can you give up that would help you move forwards in life? This might mean delegating or accepting that some things or people no longer serve you positively. BREAD, I'VE GIVEN IT UP

4. Blogging – Did I mention that you are supposed to link up with Groovy Mums this week? There you go, two kicks up your rather lovely ass. If you are going to Britmums Live, you can also join in the blog hop mentioned in my previous post.

5. Special Days – Mother’s Day is around the corner so why not start planning just how you would like it to go. Your task is to communicate your ideal day to your nearest and dearest.
MOTHER'S DAY HAS TO WAIT TILL MAY 16TH HERE, ALTHOUGH I'VE SENT CARDS AND GIFTS FOR MY TWO MUMS BACK IN THE UK FOR MARCH

6. The Big Question – what needs to change? OK, maybe lots needs to change but identifying the big thing that needs to change might help you to prioritise what the first baby steps need to be.
CAN'T SAY AT THIS STAGE....BUT WATCH THIS SPACE

So there you go, I'm getting groovy again

I'm changing my name...just call me Martha

The secret to being the perfect wife and mother or is it just Groundhog day?

No. I'm not trying to sell you anything, I'm not even going to offer you any household tips or money saving ideas...I'm just going to show you what happened to my life/home/family the day we moved to South Africa...not it's not because of the country or the weather and No, I don't have a maid...I'm just bored, kids are teens, hubby has a busy and demanding job that takes him out the house for 12 hrs a day and I no longer work, study, run a football club, sit on various committees, have a huge social life (although that is improving)... I'm home alone from 6.45am till gone 2pm each day.

I wash, dry and Iron every day.


Hence my back kitchen and yard look like this after 10am every day

I wash up as I go along and unless it's being used, everything is put away.


I cook a meal from scratch every single day (unless we eat out).

Strips of beef, marinaded in Oyster and Soy sauce, selection of chopped veg, and softened noodles of choice. Brown beef (or you could use chicken) add veg, stir fry, add noodles, warm through and serve.

I hand write letters.


I bake cakes.


I do arts and crafts.


But this is one step too far.....I need to get out the house more.


However, laugh as you may, it's that or I'll cry, this is one 'time saving' idea that I would like to share with you.

It's my upstairs, downstairs box.....that's right, put everything in to go downstairs and then after child/hubby has been ordered to take it downstairs and put contents away, it then lives at the bottom of the stairs waiting for it to get filled up again.

Stuck in a rut? Baby steps, is all it takes

Today is a day for Blogging...well it's the last day of the month and the internet gets reset tomorrow, so it would be silly not to use it up.

This weeks #groovymum challenge by kateonthinice is all about Baby steps and how to take them through a variety of challenges that Kate sets each week. You can link your blog post here http://kateonthinice.wordpress.com/2012/01/31/what-are-the-baby-steps-to-changing-your-life/

I have till Monday to put this blog up, but life throws me enough challenges and I have more than enough to do without creating new ones, so in time honoured tradition (this blog hop has only been running since September 2011) I will reflect on the week and see where I met these challenges.

1. Body – Sign up to do a Sports Relief Mile. Check out http://www.sportrelief.com/the-mile There are challenges of varying types for different levels of fitness so do take a look whether you are a rampant runner or a slouch potato.
OK NOT FOR ME, UNLESS ANYONE KNOWS HOW I CAN DO THIS FROM SOUTH AFRICA, BUT I'M ALREADY GIVING MY TIME FREELY HERE AND SWIMMING A MILE A DAY IN THE POOL AT THE GYM

2. Mind – Do you have a favourite artist? Would you like to know more about art? How can you incorporate more art in your life? Blog about it and tell us more.
NO I DONT HAVE A FAVOURITE ARTIST, BUT I KNOW WHAT I LIKE AND WHAT I DON'T LIKE AND I HATE/LOATHE (TOO STRONG?) I CAN'T STAND THE KIND OF ART THE EVOKES THE 'EMPORERS NEW COAT' REACTION. HUBBY WAS GIVEN THIS PIECE OF ART WORK, I THINK MY YEAR OLD NIECE COULD DO IT, IT MAY BE WORTH A FEW HUNDRED POUNDS, BUT IT'S WORTHLESS TO ME AS I DON'T LIKE IT.



3. Spirit – Have you ever meditated or found other ways to calm the soul? Is this something you might like to investigate further? Tell us about it and then we can all learn new methods that might work for us.
I'VE TRIED RELAXATION TAPES, USING THE ONES GIVEN OUT AT TRAINING COURSES, YOU KNOW THE TYPE ON TEAM BUILDING DAYS. IF IT'S SUGGESTED I RELAX, OR I'M FORCED TO RELAX, MY STRESS LEVELS GO THROUGH THE BLOODY ROOF...SO NO SUGGESTIONS, JUST EACH TO THEIR OWN.

4. Blogging – You are a woman and you will have women in your world, alive or dead, who matter to you. Why not write 90 words (or more or less) about her and link up to this charity blog hop for Breakthrough Breast Cancer? Cllick here to take part or to read stories of some rather wonderful women http://kateonthinice.wordpress.com/2012/01/26/i-am-looking-for-90-bloggers-to-support-breakthrough-breast-cancer/
THERE’S NOT AN EVENT OR OCCASSION THAT GOES BY WITHOUT ME THINKING OF MY GRAN. SHE WAS STRONG, HELD FORCEFUL OPINIONS, BUT SHE WAS PROUD OF ME AND SHE NEVER FAILED TO TELL ME THIS.
SHE DIED ON OCTOBER 14TH 2005 AGED 92 OF OLD AGE, HELPED ALONG WITH LUNG CANCER.
I WISH I COULD TELL HER ABOUT MY NEW LIFE IN SOUTH AFRICA, OF HOW WELL THE CHILDREN ARE DOING AND SEND HER ENDLESS PHOTOS AND LETTERS SHE COULD SHOW OFF TO HER FRIENDS.

I'm afraid I was very taken into hospital a few days after this picture was taken with viral meningitus, hence why I look so ill.
I WISH SHE WAS HERE.



5. Special Days – It is National Storytelling Week and you can find out more here http://sfs.org.uk/nswevents2012 Why not ring the changes and write up a short story on your blog?
YOU WANT A SHORT STORY FOR MY BLOG. I DON'T HAVE A SHORT STORY BUT I DO HAVE CHAPTER ONE OF A STORY I'VE BEEN WRITING YOU CAN READ HERE
http://www.chickenruby.com/2012/01/chapter-one-unedited.html


6. The Big Question – Who are you? Take this as you will. Blog about who you are or perhaps write an “About Me” page for your blog. Is it easy or challenging to say who you are? What can you learn from that?
UP AND RUNNING, INFACT BEEN ONTO IT TODAY CHECK OUT WHO'S THE CHICKEN HERE http://www.chickenruby.com/p/who-is-chicken.html

Being a SAHM does not mean I've lost my idenity

I'm not a SAHM through choice, our move to South Africa has forced it upon me, I can volunteer, I can continue with my studies...yeah I love jumping through hoops. I can blog, tidy up the photo albums, do crafts, paint my nails, go out for coffee, relax in/by the pool, tidy and rearrange the house within an inch of it's life....but it's not my thing...not really. But a year on, I'm starting to embrace it.

I've worked full time since 1988, minus 3 short breaks on maternity leave, periods of unemployment due to health/injuries at work, moving house and inheriting 2 step children, but when I've not been working, I've been studying.

But last year it all went, I became a SAHM, I'm not a yummy muumy or even a MILF (flattered by those over 18 that have called me one though) I'm not even sure I qualify as a SAHM as my kids were 12 & 16 when this happened, it's been years since I've labelled clothes, sent in spare pants to school, just in case, attended open evenings or gone within a 3 mile radius of a PTA without copious amounts of wine and only then because a friend has twisted my arm to help them as they've taken too much on 'you're so good at this, plurease'

I don't classify myself as a yummy mummy, I don't get my nails done, meet with the ladies for lunch, hold little charity events and being the owner of a Radley handbag and Birkenstocks does not elevate me into the ranks of a MILF.

So what am I?

According to the school information sheet I'm a Home Excutive...nah, that's not me either, I juggle time tables, lift shares, homework, but we don't have a maid, I do my own cleaning and ironing and to be honest the gardener we employ one day a week feels like I'm offering a community service.

I was saddened this week to read tweets and a blog by someone who thought being a SAHM was unimportant, having not signed up to it when they married/had children. I don't resent being at home all day, having given up a career lecturing and working in child welfare, stopping my studies, moving away from family and friends...I just worry about the future me, what becomes of me when the last child leaves home, if we return to the UK or move to another country, I'm 40 years of age, soon the world will have past me by and I'll not be fit for the workplace.

So what can I do about it?

Well, I still have to be here for the kids from school and run them to their various activities, cook clean, wash, iron and be chief bottle washer, but I can still broaden my horizons, I can read, I can study my area of expertise, I can keep up to date with current issues and I can use my skills to volunteer in a worthy area, I've been touting for 'work' (no one will pay me http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Economic_Empowerment ) I can build up a worthy CV of my time and experience in South Africa to put to use in the future.

But the one think I understand about being a SAHM, the one thing that gets to me, that causes me the most grief, is the isolation, the feeling of having no value and every day I fend the question 'So what does your husband do for work?'

January's Letter home

So it's been over a year now since we arrived, still so many things to see, places to go and things to sort. This month I've been tackling a list of complaints and renewals for car and house insurance.
The UK Banks Santander and HSBC (overdrafts, change of address and missold policies)
Vodafone (lack of customer service)
Britannia removal firm (their continued failure to reply to my emails asking for help, which yes has now been resolved but all by me, funny that I don't recall paying myself 4K to do it)
Barlowworld Toyota (we will get back to you in 4 days, 11th Jan, in regards to the silly little problem of replacing a valve)
I've synced my diaries...well written down everything off all the bits of paper that have come home from school onto the wall calender and my handbag diary.
Written birthday cards up till the end of March for MIL to post from the UK, sent just as many emails to family and friends, updated facebook, twitter and my blogs and started an Instagram of a picture a day to reflect where i've been, what I've seen or what I've done.

So this months letter home is as follows. I've obviously personalised it with each and everyone.

'Wanted to wait a while before replying just in case anything exciting happened, like a herd of elephants on a drive or an unexpected trip to Bloemfontein or Alex back in hospital after a Heely accident.
Peter's mum was here for 3 weeks, it was lovely to have her, this is the 2nd full day with the kids back in school since she left and I'm missing the company..oh well...cant have it all.
We were in Durban for 3 days it was 40c and 89% humidity without any clouds, so hot our skin literally peeled off our bodies.
Dan was 17 this month and he went with Peter and his mates to Wanderers stadium in Jo'burg to watch SA v Sri Lanka, they were sitting right behind the batsman and were omn the telly every shot, they had a fab day, I stayed home watching crappy films and sleeping.
Alex is fine after his heely accident (official version was a stone jammed under his wheel, I suspect he was being towed by his mates in a golf cart) just a massive black eye which a week on is now green, bless him, the following day he was off to Durban on his school trip and Dan was somewhere in the mountains on his. Peter and I took the opportunity to drive to Bloemfontein for a night away (5 hr journey, combined with work) but it was time away without the kids, which is always nice.
We are starting to make a network of friends now on the estate and have started a school lift share, which I love, Peter takes to school and two other parents collect Alex after school and Dan after sport, I've given the kids a key so I dont have to rush back from swimming at the gym or shopping.
Jamie is coming out in May for 2 weeks, that's the hardest part of living here, is not just being there for the kids when they need us, probably would've gone months without seeing him in the uk anyway...lol. An old school friend is coming to stay also in March, I've seen her once in 20 years and that was in December, will be interesting to see how we get on. We are off for lunch in Soweto next month with a guy we met who is from there.
Still no word from the olympics, im resigned to the fact i havent got it, that way it will be a nice surprise.
Love to everyone
Suzanne and Peter'

I've also set myself a few tasks for February and hope that writing them down on my blog will prompt me to get on with them and blog them next month.

Get a post box...I'm fed up of post being stolen/going missing. We had one birthday card and one letter from the UK and two bills from Telkom arrive in January, the first post since October.

Plan a trip to Soweto for lunch out, make gifts, sort photos, find out if I've got the Olympic gig, book son's flight, get Dan's provisional driving licence (no additional charge for family members on insurance with OUTsurance) I have an appointment to see Discovery about how med aid works (fed up of being fobbed off by agent) I need to get my police check sorted so I can donate some more time with The Baby house and I have a few leads to follow about volunteer teaching in an informal settlement in Mamelodi.

Life in South Africa has a 'normal' feel to it now

So linking up with kateonthinice over on groovymums.
http://kateonthinice.wordpress.com/2012/01/24/why-not-use-chinese-new-year-as-a-reason-to-make-a-fresh-start/
I thought I'd combine the challenges with my normal blog this week and write about how 1 year on in South Africa how things are starting to feel ‘normal’
Not normal as in school run, work, housework, school run, tea, activities, bed time, tweet, shower and collapse...that pretty much continues minus the collapse, we are all getting much better sleep here, despite waking at 5.30am evey morning without the aid of the alarm, we go to bed earlier, the kids (teenagers are in bed and asleep by 9.30pm most nights) We are outdoors more, I swim every day, we walk, hubby plays golf every weekend without fail and the kids have sports every day at school, all that fresh air and we sleep soundly...mind you it does also help that the TV is mainly crap.
Normal as in we argue, we row, the kids continue to make a mess, leave wet towels on the floor, moan about their lack of internet time, pocket money, homework etc etc...You know how it goes. But normal as in ‘what’s South African and what’s English?’
Everything is merging now, ‘do they sell that brand in the UK? Haven’t I seen that chain of stores somewhere in Europe? Coffee is the same as the UK isn’t it? And I’m even drinking the local tea *shocked faces*
Yesterday morning hubby and I took advantage of the kids not being here (school trip) and we wenr away for the night. Now I used to travel with hubby everywhere, even when we had kids (advantage of second marriages and long live ex partners with their child care) Europe, the States and all round the UK, leaving the older children at home with a neighbour should they need them (or have a party) but we’ve not been able to do that for a year since moving to South Africa, we have no network, no support, no one to call at a minutes’ notice if there’s a problem. 17yo can be left home alone but cannot and will not be left with ultimate responsibility of 12yo. So going away with hubby and work has not been doable.
In the morning I drove hubby to the office, I sat in the rush hour traffic for 40 mins to get to the nearest mall, where I wondered round the shops, eating breakfast, drinking coffee and killing time before hubby calls to say his meeting is over and we can go away. No different from the days when the office was in Manchester and not Johannesburg, when I sat on the M62 not the N1, when I hung around the Trafford Centre instead of Greenstone Mall, where we drove to Newcastle instead of Bloemfontein.....
So where does Groovymums fit in?
Well I’ve failed miserably with the campaign for eating a healthy breakfast every day http://shakeupyourwakeup.com/challenge
I don’t believe in fate, i believe we make our own luck in life; I don’t want to predict the year ahead, there are too many factors to consider mainly family members. If I look back at this time last year, which I do a lot, I would say that my plans for 2011 have turned out ok...we’ve survived the move despite some serious setbacks and I don’t want to jinx our run of fortune by aiming too high, I think another year of ticking along in this wonderful country isn’t too bad an idea
Chinese New Year...I’m a PIG, sort of fits in with the breakfast theme this morning.
Special day...hard to pick one really with all the wonderful opportunities we have here, but it is very special for me to be going to Bloemfontein with hubby, I have no expectations or knowledge of the area. Hubby is working this morning at the dairy, its just so nice to be somewhere together without kids, housework and hassles.
So ‘what is the BIG question?’ Have I lost that loving feeling?
No...son’s fortune cookie read ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ both boys are away this week on a school trip so I’m looking forward to seeing them. Relationship with hubby? Well, we’re getting some normality back in our relationship, time together, alone, so all good there. Me? Well I’m not too happy about the work situation and no amount of reflecting or net working is going to get round the BB-EEEE law is it, so going to concentrate on voluntary and charity work, proper hands on stuff, not fund raising, but something where I can give back, feel valued and still have a full CV when we finally (if ever) move to a country where I can work. While you’re here pop over and visit kateonthinice on join her charity group and let people know if you have any skills, time and talents to offer.

Another challenge from kateonthinice

I've been very lax since the end of November with #groovymums. I spent 3 weeks in the UK, arrived back on the 21st of December to do all the christmas shopping, then MIL arrived on the 5th January. Alex ended up in hospital after a heely accident and Dan had his 17th birthday today. Both boys are now on their school trip. Alex in Durban and Dan somewhere in the North West Provence.

So with a bit of time to spare I'm meeting challenges set over on http://kateonthinice.wordpress.com/2012/01/17/fancy-a-challenge/

1. Body – How are you sleeping? Do you qualify as sleep-deprived? Are you a mum to a baby who just isn’t sleeping through yet? What toll is that taking? Do you have older children creeping into bed with you? What does your bed look like? Is it comfortable and supportive enough? Could you give your bed a makeover in some way perhaps with scented pillows or a colourful bedspread? Could you have a nap at some point in the day? How can you ensure you get better quality sleep?

KIDS ARE 12 & 17 AND I STILL HAVE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS. ILLNESS IS THE USUAL ONE, FOLLOWED BY I'VE SLEPT TOO LONG IN THE DAYTIME DUE TO THE HEAT NOW WIDE AWAKE AT 3AM, STUCK IN A VICIOUS CIRCLE. THE BED IS KINGSIZE, ROOM FOR 4, AND ONE OF THE ONES ADVERTISED WITH THE GLASS OF WINE THAT DOESN'T SPILL WHEN A SMALL CHILD JUMPS ON THE BED. (WE'VE TRIED IT)

2. Mind – Our children have reward charts and get stickers when they do well? Could you play with this idea and create your own chart or adapt a child’s one? What are those things that you know you should do but don’t seem to get around to? How can you motivate yourself? In my continuous attempt to get mums to say good things about themselves, why not tell me what you deserve a reward for?

I'VE TRIED AND FAILED WITH STAR CHARTS FOR THE KIDS AND AS FOR ME I'D BE HAPPY WITH A ROUTINE. I'VE SPENT THE LAST YEAR SETTLING INTO A NEW LIFE IN SOUTH AFRICA AND HOUSING GUESTS AND TWO TRIPS BACK TO THE UK. I CAN'T WORK (LAWS OF THE COUNTRY) BEEN VOLUNTEERING. IT'S DIFFICULT FOR ME TO MOTIVATE MYSELF WITHOUT THE ROUTINE OF WORK WHICH I'VE BEEN USED TO FOR THE PAST 23 YEARS (MINUS MATERNITY LEAVE) SO AS FROM MONDAY, WHEN THE WORK/SCHOOL/HOME LIFE RETURNS TO NORMAL, I'M TIMETABLING MYSELF TO DO CERTAIN THINGS. STARTING WITH SORTING OUT THE FAMILY PHOTOS AND FOCUSING ON THE JOB MARKET.
I WOULD LIKE A REWARD FOR MY SHEER DETERMINATION TO MAKE THIS MOVE TO SOUTH AFRICA A SUCCESS.

3. Spirit – Is the spirit willing? You can respond to this one in whatever way you see fit.

THE ONLY SPIRIT I SEE FIT TO CONSIDER IS THE ONE IN THE BOTTLE, THIS MONTH IT IS GIN.
ON A SERIOUS NOTE IM FOCUSING ON GETTING BACK INTO THE ROUTINE OF SWIMMING A MILE A DAY.

4. Blog – Have you attended a blogger event? Have you met any bloggers in the flesh? Would you like to do? Why is that? I am speaking at Britmums Live so I hope some of my lovely Groovy Mums will be there to hold my hand.

NOPE NEVER BEEN TO A BLOGGING EVENT AND DON'T INTEND TO EVER GO TO ONE EITHER. I STARTED BLOGGING AS A WAY OF EXPLAINING THINGS IN MORE DEPTH THAN THE 140 CHARACTERS ON TWITTER WOULD ALLOW. I LOVE THE WAY TWITTER ALLOWS ME TO FIND OTHER LIKE MINDED PEOPLE AND MY PREFERANCE IS TO SPEAK WITH PEOPLE WITH TEENAGERS, FOOTBALL, EXPAT LIFESTYLES. I'M NOT INTERESTED IN WHETHER OR NOT YOU THINK CO-SLEEPING AND BREAST FEEDING IS BEST, BEEN THERE DONE THAT, PASSED ON THE ADVICE ETC ETC.


5. It is the creator of Winnie the Pooh’s birthday this week. So, as a bit of fun, why not work out which Winnie the Pooh character you are most like and why? It might help you to discover what is great about you and also the things that you could usefully change.AFTER A LONG DISCUSSION WITH HUBBY IT HAS BEEN DECIDED I AM SIMILAR TO KANGA AS WE ARE BOTH THE ONLY FEMALE IN AN ALL MALE ENVIRONMENT.


6. The Big Question – How is your sex life? Oh, I know we are not supposed to talk about religion, sex and politics but you know me, I like breaking the rules. So how are things in the bedroom (or your venue of choice)? Has sex become a chore? Do you find it difficult to make time for sex? Are you too exhausted for sex? Have you managed to spice up your love-life? Be brave and reveal all on your blog or just do some quite reflecting on this issue.

AFTER A LONG DISCUSSION WITH HUBBY IT HAS BEEN DECIDED THAT HE DOES NOT WANT ME TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION, HOWEVER I'M GOING TO IGNORE HIM AND TELL YOU THAT THERE ARE NO COMPLAINTS FROM EITHER OF US, NOTHING NEEDS SPICING UP, NO ADDITIONAL EQUIPMENT IS NEEDED.

Kate asks if you'll take up the Groovy Mums challenge

Every week Kateonthinice sets a challenge for Mums that have lost their groove. The idea of this blog hop is for all mums for whatever reason to find others who are struggling with daily life, be it a new baby, seperation, emigration, depression etc. This blog hop has helped me make new friends, share experiences, wisdom and gain advice and get my motivation/groove back. This weeks challenges are as follows: 1. Body – Lotions and Potions. What is in your bathroom of the creams and pampering products variety. Nothing. The same old thing or something new? Is it time for a lotions and potions revival? I STOCKED UP WITH MY FAVOURITE BOOTS NO. 7 RANGE PRIOR TO EMIGRATING AND ON MY LAST VISIT HOME I BOUGHT, FROM ASDA, THE CHOCOLATE INDULGENCE SHOWER GEL RANGE, I ALSO HAD A GIFT OF MOLTEN AND BROWN SHOWER GEL FROM A CLOSE FRIEND

2. Mind – What are the very best things about you? Try and write down 5 of them. Now stop putting yourself down and beating yourself up. What is brilliant about you? You are reading this for a start but there is so much more to you. Why not let the world see it a bit more? How could you achieve that? SEE THE WORLD...I HAVE ENOUGH OF THAT...LOL THE BEST 5 THINGS ABOUT ME.... I'M FRIENDLY, ORGANISED, READY, WILLING AND ABLE 3. It is World Religion Day this week. Has religion featured in your life and if so, how? Have you left it behind? Does it interest you? What can you tell us about your own religious beliefs? Does religion cause more harm than good? Let us know what you think. LAST TIME I INCLUDED RELIGION IN A BLOG POST I WAS RIBBED BY FAMILY SO I'LL PASS THIS TIME For those who would like to know about the day itself http://www.worldreligionday.org/about-us/the-aim Please note that Groovy Mums and myself have no association with this day. 4. Blogging – what good could you do with your blog? That’s a really open question so you have plenty of scope to answer it in a way that makes sense to you. HAVE CHANGED MY URL ON MUMSNET, I'M ALREADY A BRITMUMS MEMBER AND THIS WEEK I'VE JOINED LOVEALLBLOGS AND MUMSNET, AM STRUGGLING WITH PASSWORDS AND TRYING TO REMEMBER TO VISIT THESE SITES MORE OFTEN 5. Big Question – who can you ask to help you? Who can you delegate some of your tasks to? WELL I'M DELEGATING TASKS TO MY MIL DURING HER VISIT, I'M NOT VERY GOOD AT ASKING FOR HELP IN THAT SENSE, THE KIDS ARE BEING 'FORCED' TO TAKE ON MORE RESPONSIBILTY AND I'M ACTUALLY EASING UP ON TRYING TO BE SUPERMUM AND RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL...I ALSO HAVE A VERY GOOD TWITTER/REAL LIFE FRIEND WHO DOES ALL MY BLOG RELATED PROBLEMS FOR ME (BEST NOT FALL OUT WITH HER, SHE KNOWS ALL MY PASSWORDS.

How Do You Fancy A Sparkling New You??

Another challenge from @kateonthinice and #groovymums How do you fancy a whole new you?
http://kateonthinice.wordpress.com/2012/01/03/how-do-you-fancy-a-sparkling-new-you/
Wouldn’t it be fabulous if 2012 just felt a bit more joyful and saw you with a spring in your step and a positive mindset?

This is Kate's weekly post that encourages mums to change their lives in ways that make sense to them large and small.

You can read all about how Grooving Mums works by clicking this link http://kateonthinice.wordpress.com/how-to-be-a-groovy-mum/

http://kateonthinice.wordpress.com/2012/01/03/how-do-you-fancy-a-sparkling-new-you/

1. Did you over-indulge over the festive season? What can you do to prepare for the life-changing journey ahead in terms of improving your health?

Yes I over ate, but then I go through stages of over indulgences without any rhyme or reason. Health improvements...should give up smoking...but don't want to...should drink more water and alcohol and carry on going to the gym and not getting a maid.

2. What do you need to change your mind about? Have you written yourself off in some way? How can you shift negative thinking patterns?

I can't work, no seriously, I'm here on a visitors visa and yes I can get a work visa if I get a job offer, which I can't get without a work visa #givesup.

3. This week, Christians celebrate the Epiphany. Here is one dictionary definition for the word epiphany “a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.” What does this mean to you?

We were a bit late here as we were on holiday so the decs were taken down on the 9th and the tree still stands, naked, at the top of the stairs. Can't answer the rest.



4. Are you aware of all the blogging networks you can get involved with? Is it worth you checking them out and promoting your efforts to sparkle to a wider audience?

Joined @loveallblogs, @netmums and updated URL on @mumsnet...already a member of @britmums.
I'll forget passwords, I'll forget to check them out...I'm doing my best but to be honest since I started trying to reach a wider audience I got a little bit lost.

A NEW YEAR.....A NEW WAY

Well Happy New Year to one and all.

It's been a different year from anything I've ever experienced, same hassles and lows. Family, kids, finances, work, study etc and some fantastic highs, new cultures, living in a new counrty.

A few months ago I met Kate who blogs over on http://kateonthinice.wordpress.com/2011/12/31/how-to-guarantee-that-2012-is-a-happy-new-year/#comment-1257

Grooving Mums blog hop was set up for a variety of reasons, but mainly to get people together, mums whom felt they'd lost their way, to support one another along the way.

Each week kate sets a challenge and this week is Resolutions she has asked us all to think about the following:

1. What do I want to change?
I WANT TO CHANGE THE WAY I RESPOND, THE WAY I REACT TO PEOPLE AND SITUATIONS.

2. Am I sure I am doing this for me and not just to please others or to live up to some society image of womanhood?
YEP 100% FOR ME. I GET UPSET, I SHOUT, I CRY, I FEEL WEAK, I FEEL I'VE TAKEN SEVERAL STEPS BACKWARDS.

3.What’s the one thing you can do today, right now, towards your goal? That would be joining #groovingmums by the way lol.
RIGHT NOW....THERE ARE ISSUES I NEED TO DISCUSS, TODAY IS NOT THE DAY, NOTHING CAN BE DONE ABOUT THEM TODAY, SO WHY BRING THEM UP? I'M GOING TO WRITE THEM DOWN, TELL HUBBY WE NEED TO TALK AND PICK A TIME WHEN HE'S NOT CHARGING OUT THE DOOR TO WORK OR MORE IMPORTANTLY JUST WALKED IN THROUGH THE DOOR AFTER A HECTIC DAY AT WORK.

Grooving Mums week 12, 13 and 14

Well firstly, thanks for reading my weekly grooving mums post, actually this week its 3 weeks into 1 as I've been travelling round the UK.
Grooving mums blogging, inspired by @netcurtains or http://kateonthinice.wordpress.com/, isn't about recovering ypour groove, it's about meeting people for what ever reason are at the same stage in life as you are. Something has happened (emigration in my case, depression, new baby, death, divorce, health) and something needs to be done to recover the groove,get back to where you once before or change directly completly.

week 12
1. How is your health? Is there a niggling problem that you are avoiding bringing to the attention of your GP? Are you up to date with your smear test and other matters? How can you ensure that you are in tip-top form before the stress of Christmas hits?

My health is good, a few problems earlier in the year with my teeth and a minor car bump (not my fault) which agrivated an old neck injury, but otherwise good.

2. What does the concept of freedom mean to you? Do you have enough or do you sometimes feel hemmed in with your various responsiblities? When are you cut a bit of slack by your family, friends and colleagues?
Freedom is a difficult one for me, living in South Africa personal safety is a big issue and I’m grateful we live in a security estate around a 18 hole golf course. I miss the freedom of being able to work, but not the actual work and I find it very frustrated at having to ask for money from my husband.

3. Laughter Therapy – Can you do something this week that will make you laugh out loud? Perhaps see a funny film, write an amusing blog post or visit a comedy show? Maybe just share a joke with us.
There has been lots of laughter this month catching up with friends in the UK and trying to pack the suitcases tonight had me and my mum in fits of hysterics.
Favourite joke...Why did the chicken (me) cross the road? Because she saw the Zebra crossing.


4. Blog Hopping – One good way to make new blogger contacts is via blog hopping. How about taking part in one of the Britmums prompts this week? One is related to the festive season and one is about blogging in the New Year. Visit the Britmums site for more details. http://www.britmumsblog.com/2011/11/britmums-blog-prompt-christmas-wishes/
I gave my blog a make over http://www.chickenruby.com I’ve added tabs at the top and learnt how tagging drops the posts into the tabs.

week 13
1. Get some catalogues and look online and in the shops to identify something for your body that you would like for Christmas. Then tell us all about it.
One of the things I have been shopping for on my trip to the UK is for dresses. The only time I buy or wear dresses is for christenings, weddings and funerals (been to one on this trip). But in South Africa summer lasts from September till May and even te days in the winter are 20c, so plenty of opportunities to wear dresses and several bought (no pics as I’ve packed)

2. Can you do the same for your mind? Perhaps a book or film on a topic that you would like to explore further. Again, please share your ideas with us.
I don’t watch films, I can’t sit still, but I had two 8 hr flights to get to the UK so I watched Harry Potter, The Smurfs and Glee the Movie and thoroughly enjoyed them

3. Light a candle. If you are up for meditation, try that. If not just enjoy the sight of it or buy one of those lovely scented ones to lift the spirits.
I have been given candles and incense sticks by my Sister in Law for Christmas and will be nice to light a candle for fun rather than just to keep the mossies away.

4. Make a change to your blog. Add an image or a badge (The Grooving Mums one is very lovely, hint). Add a disclosure policy if you are interested in reviewing product samples. Give some real thought to what you want your blog to do for you in the New Year.
Apart from the changes mentioned from last week (see above) I’ve decided to 'have a go at this making money from my blog’ lark. Goes against everything I’ve ever complained about with bloggers, but I won’t be reviewing products, not sure what or how, but I’ll let you know.

Week 14
1.Set aside a 3 hour time slot between now and New Year’s Eve which is just for you to do what you want when you want how you want and where you want. Diarise it and try to stick to it and insist on it.
Don’t usually have this problem as the kids and hubby are out most of the day and I have loads of ‘me time’ But I’ve spent three weeks touring the UK and the only ‘me time’ I’ve had recently has been in the car driving from place to place seeing family and friends. It's going to be difficult to fit 3 hours in with them all at home till January 11th, but to be honest I've spent so much time on my own that I actually want to be with the family at the moment...it won't last long.

2. Think about one element that has never featured in your Christmas Day and see if you can incorporate it. It might be going for a walk, breaking with tradition, attending a church service, buying a gift for yourself, you get to decide but just do something different.
Well, again, life in South Africa will involve a Braai, out door cooking, a dip in the pool after lunch and wearing a dress sitting in the garden drinking wine at sundown.

3. What can you do to honour a good cause this Christmas? Could you set up a standing order for your favourite charity? If money is tight, can you give your time in some way either to an organisation or to an individual who might appreciate a friendly word or visit?
I’ve been involved in the @sant shoebox appeal and finally @thebabyhouse has got their first children who will be in a safe home for maybe the first time in their lives and I have been collecting clothing to take for them for Christmas.

4. This post is part of the #groovingmums initiative. If you blog, why not consider setting up your own initiative that brings bloggers together?
I’m hoping to promote the parenting teens area of my blog, I’m fed up with all the ‘mummy’ advice for young children, the question of co-sleeping and breat feeding etc, these children will grow into teens and the blogs will develop, but in the meantime, mine are teens now, so as there is little advice around for me, I thought I’d develop some for others.

5. Buy yourself a journal or notebook where you can record thoughts and feelings as you start to make positive changes in your life and world. You can jot down inspirational quotations, nice things people say about you or whatever helps you most. It would be a good place to write down the #groovingmums challenges too. Give some thought to what sort of notebook, pretty, funky, stylish, you decide and then share a picture with us.
I have one, it’s my blog jotter, my note taker and anything else that pops into my head, even ideas for a book.

I am handing out awards today to very special bloggers.

Liebster is a German word meaning dearest, and the award is given to up-and-coming bloggers with less than 200 followers who deserve a lot more.

If you receive the award, you should:

1. Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you.

2. Reveal your top five picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.

3. Copy and paste the award on your blog.

4. Hope that the people you’ve sent the award to forward it to their five favourite bloggers and keep it going!’

Thank you to Kate http://kateonthinice.wordpress.com/ for the Liebster award. I met Kate over on twitter as @netcurtains, I'm not sure how we met or through who, let me know if you can remember. i've not been keen on interacting with the blogging world, just writing my own blog, if you read it great, if not.... *not bothered face*
Kate inspired me with her #groovingmums blog (open to all) and for the past 8 weeks, Kate has been inspiring me and others to recover our grove. I lost my groove after emigrating to South Africa in january this year.....check out Kates blog for her story and that of many others.

As I'm new to this blogging community I so far only follow the other grooving mums and therefore am unable to recommend 5 I'm also blogging via my phone as the interent here is crap and it's difficult to see what I'm doing.

I'm taking part though to say thanks to Kate and when I become a bit more savvy with this blogging lark, I'll update this page.

kate's weekly challenges on #groovingmums

Here they are, I've given them some thought and then thought that it sounds pretenious so rather than looking for things to do to meet the challenges I'll write about what I've done since my last post thats meets them.

1. Winter Warmth – how can you treat yourself to something that keeps you warm in this wintry weather. A new hat, scarf or pair of gloves? A pampering session involving heat? A hot chocolate every night for a week? Whatever warmth means to you.

Well its the middle of summer here, temps up to 44c in the day, rarely below 17c at night. So no hot food, drinks, blankets, snuggling, in fact holding hands is too hot. But I am back in the UK a week tomorrow and I've packed all my winter woolies, it feels really strange doing so, I've been getting hot thinking about it, but I know I'm going to need them all. I left my ski gear (never skied) in the UK at my mums and she's taken it down from the attic, aired it and is no doubt thinking about the use she'll get out of it when I leave.

2. Money – is it time you thought about your finances? This will mean different things to different people. Do you have debts to sort out? Do you need advice on benefits? Is it worth joining an credit union as a way to build up savings and with access to credit? Is it time you set a budget for Christmas and stuck to it? It is absolutely up to you how you interpret this one.

Arrrggghhhh big issue, we have none, well we do but not as much as we would like. We used up most of our UK money on moving here and after 9 months, hubbies salary is still hand to mouth as we start all over again, need now to get money from here back to UK to cover mortgage payments and some issues the tenents require us to see to, but the exchange rate is not in our favour and it costs so much to transfer.

3. Art – How much do you know about art? Would you like to share a favourite painting with us and tell us why it appeals to you? Do you create things yourself that you would like to promote? Would you like to learn more about art and how might you do that?

I know a Van Gough from a Da Vinci and that's about that. I'm making xmas decorations, traditional african style to take back to the UK, card making starts on the weekend (will post pics when they're finished)

4. Blogging Fun – How about taking part in Magpie Monday where bloggers celebrate bargain pre-owned finds whether located in charity shops, car boot sales, Christmas fairs, Ebay or whatever? You will find details with the lovely Liz over on the Me and My Shadow blog.

I have found one charity shop over the road in a secure compound where I buy all my books from and bought a pair of tatty curtains that I've washed and I'm going to turn into a table cloth and a few cushion covers that I'm using for my arts and crafts.