Thoughts on moving (back) to South Africa and everything you need to know about an International Move.

We're no longer moving to South Africa from Dubai, but we'd started the thought process and looking into costs, paperwork and pro's and con's of another move. So when we had difficulties with our tenants in the UK, we were already in the right frame of mind to be dealing with a relocation and as Peter's job is seeing him work half the year in South Africa, it seemed the right thing to do for me to spend that half in the UK, rather than in isolation in Dubai.

I've started to blog our repatriation here

Here is the thought process we went through:

16th February 2019
Here we go again, the 3rd time in the past 9 years we've had to ponder this question.

Should we move abroad? It's something we both asked ourselves in 2010.

The first time we were asked this question was September 2010, we said yes with no hesitation and 3 months later with 2 kids, our furniture and visas in hand we flew to South Africa to start a new life.

4 years later now with a cat and dog in tow and no kids at home anymore, we had 3 months notice to leave South Africa (government weren't renewing our visas) we sort of had the choice of the UK or Dubai, but chose Dubai because neither of us were ready to return home and Peter's job would've had him travelling to the Middle East anyway.

Both moves took us a good year to settle in fully, get to know the customs, ways things were done and to establish ourselves with friends.

The last year of our lives in South Africa, at the point where I'd settled, accepted my new identity, found my niche were spent with the will we, won't be moving until all of a sudden it was just announced and we packed up to start all over again.

To say that Peter's company caused us problems with the move was an understatement. Here's a summary of exactly what went wrong with both our moves and how things could've been improved.

HR in South Africa just assumed we would be able to do everything they did and in the same way, but no. I was not permitted to work and everything had to be in Peter's name, so dealing with a new job, 2 kids in a new school, trying to find somewhere to live and most importantly living with the fear of our personal safety it was a very trying time for us all.

The move to Dubai was much easier but HR here had no concept of what it was like moving to another country from a country that is not your place of birth and we were on expiring visas, having to make trips to the UK to get the new visa in order.

So when Peter came home from work mid February to say it was being discussed him moving to South Africa to take over the business there, the first thing I said was 'hell yes, but this time everything must be in writing and I will not allow HR top deal with the physical side of things this time other than the paperwork required for the visas, we will do the rest.'

I can pack in 2 days, our entire lives, the cat and the dog and ready to fly whenever I get the word.

We'll have to go back to the UK to obtain our new visas but once we know the move is actually going ahead, the T&C's for Peter's contract are in place, salary agreed, repatriation costs back to the UK, either when he chooses to retire (he's 65 in 2022) or the job comes to a natural end, are all in place. I can start the following:

• Look at export companies, I will itemise our contents for insurance purposes
• Speak to local animal specialists about the cat and dog, injections, paperwork and time scales for relocating the pets 
• Sell both our cars
• Give notice to the landlord
• Speak to the banks about keeping accounts open here
• Declutter the house
• Sell the garden contents (we have to return it to sand before we leave)

So here are some random thoughts on our potential move:

Pros                                                                                   Cons

Skype, voice over internet and VPN's work .                   Post doesn't work

Have friends there already .                                              Can't get PG tips or Aubergine Pickle

Time difference only 1-2 hours not 3-4 .                          Load shedding

Know how things get done .                                             Personal safety

Know where we'll live, on a golf course .                        Journey time to UK now 24 hours

Have a swimming pool .                                                   Hassles of doing the above bullet points

Cost of living much lower

Already have a sim cards, store cards, nail bar & hairdresser

Weather (apart from the winter, too cold)

Miss South Africa, always said we'd go back

27th February 2019
Haven't give the above another thought other than trying to work out how to book my return flights from the UK and include a trip to Australia to visit child 3, whilst working out how long we'd need to do a visa application from the UK and potential timescale.
We've also cancelled plans to holiday with friends in America, but there's another reason for that also. Our first grandchild was born and a son got married.
Then Peter phoned this morning to say that the 90% chance of the move had probably dropped to 70%, due to employment laws in South Africa, which we were aware of and would've been our biggest hurdle.

6th March 2019
All has gone quiet and Peter has said it's not going to be happening, it was a nice dream while it lasted but that's it, it's time to move on. I however think differently, this is what happened on 2 previous moves, lots of talk, don't say anything to anyone then all of a sudden it just happens and usually within 3 months of a decision being made, we pack and we go. So watch this space.........

15th August 2019
A move has been mentioned several times since the last update, but it's been based on assumptions. Over the past few weeks there has been a few announcements of people moving into new roles, which leaves us pondering where Peter will end up. We're due to renew our house contract in November and have to give 2 months notice if we want to move. As rent is paid upfront it's a bit worrying as to whether we'd end up paying for a house in Dubai for a year that we only live in for a few months. Moving countries is expensive, regardless of it being a company move. House allowance is paid monthly, but we'd have to find our own deposit as well as buying new cars, whilst waiting for deposits to be returned here.
I'm keen to move back to South Africa, and hoping it could potentially be a one way trip and we could retire there. I really haven't given too much thought to the job ending here and relocating back to the UK instead, but that could also be a possible outcome.

27th August 2019
A formal discussion for Peter in work, it's very frustrating. Our landlord has agreed to a 6 month or monthly contract but there's an admin fee of 7,500 AED (£1,500) Part of our rental agreement is that we return to the garden to a blank canvas so we have to demolish the fence, dig up the plants, lawn and tiling to sell. All this takes time and effort and I'm in the UK Sept 10th till the end of October. We also have to return to the UK to submit all our paperwork for our visa but need most of the documents completing here, medical and police clearance in South Africa as well as Dubai.

September 2019
We're not moving to South Africa (insert sad face) The salary offer was not good enough considering we don't pay tax in Dubai so there would be quite a drop in salary and as Peter retires in 2-3 years time, there's no reason to do so. He is however going to help out more in South Africa from Dubai, which means more travel for him, more complications with the cat and dog costs and boarding, so I'll have to curb my travelling for a while. The thought of being in Dubai now until next June is daunting.

October 2019
So I'm not staying in Dubai, things happen for a reason. We'd planned to give our tenants in the UK their notice late 2020 and for me to return to the UK, settle into the house and start looking for work. Our plans were changed on Monday (2 days ago) when the rental agents informed us there were issues with payments and the list of complaints from the tenants is getting longer, such as uneven kitchen floor tiles (they're slate and cemented) and poorly decorated (was freshly decorated prior to them moving in 2 years ago).

The plan now is I move back end of January into our family home, transfer the contents of the flat in South Wales (50 miles away) and put the flat on the rental market, buy a car. Set up utilities etc and return to Dubai in March to start organising the move to the UK with the cat and dog and sell the car. Spend April/May in the UK, board the cat and dog in the UK, return to Dubai, pack up contents, sell garden, find 2 bed furnished apartment for Peter. Return to UK with Peter joining me in June to wait for the furniture, unpack, get jobs sorted. Peter will return to Dubai in July for work and we'll decide what to do next in regards to keeping our relationship alive, will probably involve me visiting Dubai alternate months until he retires for good.

Our initial move from the UK to South Africa started on September 10th and we moved on January 18th. We will have had 9 full years outside the UK.

I've not published the post until now, as we wanted to make sure either a) the move was going ahead or b) we were staying put, in which case I've decided to share it with you anyway. At some point in time we will have to leave Dubai and go through this anyway, just back to the UK and the UK it is.

How stressful is an expat, relocation move?

Very, it's not easy, you'll lose all control over your life, you'll be let down, plunged into difficult and sometimes dangerous situations, you'll be skint at the end of it all, no matter how generous your relocation package is and you'll swear blind you will NEVER, EVER DO THIS AGAIN (until next time)

Both our relocations to South Africa and to Dubai have gone wrong, very wrong, causing unnecessary stress at what is a very difficult time. Moving is one thing, but moving 1000's of miles from everything and everyone you know is hard work and can be heartbreaking.

South Africa was my home for 4 years and leaving my friends and my life was as difficult, if not harder than leaving the UK for the first time. For me, when I left the UK, I knew one day I would return, that it would become home again, I knew I could visit my family and friends and be there if they needed me, but leaving South Africa has a whole other set of emotions. I will visit, yes, but I will never return there, it will never be my home again.

A lot of the worries and anxieties can be removed with the right support, timescale and framework in place. however my experience of both moves says that HR is NOT the best department to deal with a relocation. They subcontract out to various companies for visa applications, shipping, renting housing etc and they DO NOT and WILL NOT deal directly with the accompanying spouse. The sub contracted companies when contacted will tell you the contract is with HR and not you and will not discuss anything with you at all, EVER.

This causes additional and unnecessary stress on your relationship. For us, I didn't want to leave South Africa, I wasn't ready, HR's timescale was too slow, they dragged their heels with starting the move and as predicted left us with an extremely short time frame in which to move. My husband is dealing with a new job, a new way of doing things, new and different cultures in the work place, he doesn't need me stuck in a hotel gently rocking in a corner because I feel left out, I'm not in control, I'm not allowed to do anything because NO ONE will speak to me, include me, let me do the stuff I'm good at. He also does not have the time to sort everything out on our behalf, we are a team, we have different skill sets, that's what makes us able to survive 2 international relocations and no amount of him asking, telling, begging HR to deal with me, let me sort the stuff, it's what I'm good at, they just won't shift. it's hubbies contract, it's with him, not me.

I've written a series of blog posts over the past few weeks, they've been added to and edited and don't really follow in any particular order, but if you're interested, please feel free to click, read, comment and share.

The whole process of applying to move to Dubai started in October, again we were told very little about what we were actually required to do, it took a lot of phone calls and we had to spend 3 weeks in the UK to sort out all the paperwork, which was submitted in Dubai on November 29th, after returning to South Africa to pack up our home, we returned on December 19th to discover the work visa application had been submitted as promised.
Applying for visas to live in Dubai

The first post is based on our experiences from using a relocation firm, although the woman who helped us with most of the stuff, was bloody wonderful, her hands were tied, there was only so much she could do to help us, where everything fell apart was despite her constantly emailing the company she worked for, they failed to respond and eventually told me, she was as fault, which I will not accept.
If I were a relocation expert

Next up are the consequences for the spouse, unable to 'do anything' due to the companies refusal to deal directly with me.
What happened to pastoral care?

This post outlines what was promised and what actually happened and is happening, this post will continue to be updated.
Timeline for an expat move

The following post is about life in a hotel for 5 weeks, I think we're actually in our 6th week now and our 3rd hotel. It isn't a lot of fun.
5 weeks in a hotel

This post was written and published the beginning of December and outlines my concerns and worries about what lies ahead based on what happened when we relocated to South Africa in 2011
Reality of a company move

We already knew things were going downhill and a lot of stuff is now getting repeated, but as you can see from the next post, we've spent most of our time in Dubai just worrying about what is going to happen.
Moving from South Africa to Dubai 

Prior to our move we had to sort all our documentation and organise our shipping, all badly advised, we did most of the work ourselves and I doubt we'll ever know just exactly what and why these experts are being paid for.

How to sort luggage, air freight and shipping 

If I was a relocation expert, this is how things would be done

If I was a relocation expert

These are the essentials for any and every expat, whether it is their 1^st or 100^th relocation, everywhere is different, every country has different requirements for doing things that you consider easy to do in your previous country. 

I would start with information on how the visa applications would work and timescale and support client through this process.

For a fee I would provide

·      a taxi to the airport for their arrival

·      hotel room(s) with a balcony or at least with a window that opens

·      options for clients at their convenience to meet on the day they arrive

·      a sim card having forst checked the clients phone is unlocked

·      a list of emergency phone numbers and details of nearest hospital, doctor etc

·      information on medical aid, insurance companies for personal effects, car hire, car and pet 
    insurance

·      letters from employer with info and details required to set up local bank accounts

·      a map of the area with transport routes and a local travel card

·      arrange localisation tour

If I was assisting with a house search I would ensure that the following happened:

·      I’d request the budget and requirements for a property, based on their current lifestyle and  
    preferences

·      Arrange viewings of houses

·      Meet with landlord and client to complete a snag list and ensure all repairs needed were written 
    into the contact before handing over any money and a timescale in which work will be completed,
    inform clients of all the laws in regards to dealing with landlords, notice periods

·      Be at the property when above is being carried out to assist client with language and cultural 
    differences

·      Set up electricity/water/phone/internet depending on clients preferences and visa requirements

·      Inform clients of all costs related to the above in advance of the relocation.

What do I need to apply for work and residency visas in Dubai?

Sorry, no idea, I really can't help you with how this works and why it is like that. I can only tell you about our experiences and what worked for us and strongly recommend that unless you've had a company move before or used a relocation firm that actually helped then I'd suggest you go it alone.

There are certain documents only your company can provide such as your contract, details of salary, allowances and you will need them to provide those in the countries language of where you are moving to. 

In regards to your personal  side of things, such as removal companies, finding housing at your new destination, transporting pets, getting your personal documents together just DO IT YOURSELF and claim back where you can.

For us, our move was complicated by the fact we are British but living in South Africa on an expiring visa. Having been informed by HR that our documents needed attesting at the UAE Embassy and several requests to have this explained to us, we set off on the first part of the journey ourselves and called the UAE Embassy in Pretoria who then informed us that our documents have to be attested in our country of origin.

Next step call the UAE Embassy in London and ask how they want our documents presented, costs and timeline, who informed us all documents must be legalised by the Foreign Office. Documents to the embassy must be submitted before 9am, £30 fee (cash only) per document and collect by 4.30pm

The Foreign Office require all documents to be originals, except for driving licence and passport which must be certified by a solicitor who must be registered with the Foreign Office. Except they didn't tell us this bit until after we'd sent the documents and we were delayed by a week getting the solicitor approved. Birth and marriage certificates must be General Registered Originals GRO's meaning anything that is hand written or hand signed is not a GRO, new copies were ordered off the government website at £9.50 each and took 2 weeks to arrive. The Foreign Office charge £30 per document plus £18 for next day delivery with the post office, £4.50 for their return by courier and take 5 working days. The solicitor charged £1 per signature.

The relocation company hired have been a big let down, they were on holiday when we arrived with nothing in place in regards to the house being ready, along with HR failing to submit the work visa application when they said they would and with the christmas period, we've been pretty much left on our own.

We had to beg for the medical aid and a letter of intention so we could open a bank account, but we still don't know how the medical aid works here and there is still no sign of the relocation allowance, expenses or salary from December in South Africa.

I contacted the shipping company to inform them we were having a few issues this end and in case something were to go wrong with customs could we please have the contact details for the rep this end. They promptly phoned the relocation company here to tell them this and emailled me back suggesting I talk to my husband as the relocation people are keeping him informed. Guess what? No less than 5 minutes later the relocation company emailed hubby 'out of the blue' with all the shipping details, customs and timescales.

So what have HR and the relocation experts done?

Replied to all emails and telephone calls with 'as previously discussed' despite after every call us emailing them asking for confirmation of timescales, costs etc.

They've both informed of us what they have done for us and tried to make us feel grateful that they've done what they have done to date. My response each time.....'it is in the contract and you are being paid to do the job'

Passed the buck rather successfully from one person to another, blaming the locals for their lack of tasks not being completed despite most of the locals being foreigners like them and ourselves.

The pet relocation, now that did go smoothly, but the relocation company employed the services of 2 competent companies who incidentally were both South African both back 'home' and in Dubai.

Hubbies work visa has been processed by an agency who have been efficient and have worked within the timescale, once HR finally got round to giving them the go ahead and after an unnecessary flight to Oman on the 13th processed the work visa and are now taking hubby through the residency visa and Emirates ID which will enable us to get our container released from customs, our air freight sent and an application made for Internet, phone, post box and red card to purchase alcohol which we need desperately now.

However this is all managed by HR and the relocation firm and I have little/no faith that this will be a smooth process.

Once all that is in place my residency visa application will be made, we can open a joint bank account and once we receive moneys owed can make payments via off shore back to the UK to replenish our savings and finally start our new lives here in Dubai.

What happened to Pastoral Care?

When you’re an expat and your company relocate you, that’s just about all they do. No localization, no culture guidance and in the case of moving to south Africa, no safety training.

Yes there is a generous financial package, the assistance with finding housing and an allowance, the visa applications made, temporary accommodation, meals and laundry and a company car.

But when you’re the spouse this doesn’t include you, you get no support, no help, no guidance, yet you’re the one in the foreign country, miles from family and friends and on your own once your partner starts work. And there's no holiday rep in sight.

The spouse has no car, no phone, knows no one and has nothing to do for days on end other than sort out the issues in the country you’ve just left, has to work out the transport system on their own, find out how to obtain a SIM card, has limited funds when out and about and struggles to keep in touch with family and driends, whilst trying to make new friends and find out where to go to meet new people.

There are a couple of days on arrival in your new country for spouse and partner to settle in, but then the demands for work come along and the spouse is left on their own.

Accepting that a new job in a new country is challenging and will be difficult to adjust to, the partner has some familiarity, a support network, colleagues, a place to belong. But the spouse loses their identity, their freedom and everything they knew and has to start over from scratch again.

The spouse may be able to get a job in the new country, but in the case of dubai can do nothing until the partners visas are through before they can apply for their own, the spouse is the one that has to wait at the new house, empty of furniture while the landlord send people around to do repairs and clean. The spouse is the one who hs the spare time, but no longer the desire to sor tout the electricity, water, internet, phones and TV. The spouse is the one who has to wait in for the furniture to arrive and make the new house into a home.

By the time the spouse reaches this stage, they have had enough, they no longer want to find work, they’ve just finally settled into a routine, started to make a few friends, started to find their feet and started to reinvent their identity.

How to sort hand luggage, checked in baggage, air freight and shipping

It is a matter of preference and it all depends on where you are moving to, the ease of obtaining visas and whether it's a company or personal move.

We didn't have the option of air freight when we moved to South Africa and it was an expensive mistake.

To move from the UK to South Africa, your visa to live there has to be stamped and in your passport before you fly, therefore we could've sent the air freight in advance and we could've moved into our new home on arrival and also stayed in our own home until we flew rather than a combination of spare rooms, sofas and splitting the kids up.

Due to a delay with customs in SA and the UK companies failure to book the shipping on time, we ended up having to purchase a lot of unnecessary items that arrived 6 weeks later, namely school supplies, basic kitchen items, bedding and towels. We did however have additional checked in luggage and took 2 suit cases each.

So upon our move to Dubai from SA we were given the option of air freight or additional checked in luggage. We opted for air freight, we remained in our home for a further week after the shipping container was sent and packed minimal clothing, a few christmas decorations, cards and the last few bits and pieces left at the house to include the wifi box and phone. We also packed a few towels, an air bed and sheets.

This decision has been a mistake as we cannot apply to have the air freight sent until our residency visa is approved, our container sits in Dubai in storage as this can't clear customs either and our air freight will take between 13-12 days including customs clearance and will arrive after our shipping.

As we have our 19 year old with us, but he is not part of the relocation having left home last year, we are liable for his costs in regards to accommodation and therefore will now be purchasing additional items here so he can stay in the house with the cat and dog and reduce the demands on me to get to the house every morning to feed them both. This was not an expense we had budgeted for.

In an ideal world, based on the information we were given and advise from the relocation people and personal experience on moving to South Africa, we packed the following:

Hand Luggage
All electrical items. Laptop, chargers, plug convertors, the last paper copy of every document relating to the UK, SA and Dubai, change of clothes, to save unpacking on arrival, toiletries.

Checked in baggage
Emergency christmas decorations and cards, clothing for destination, minimum clothing from country of departure, family bibles and DVD's as they cause a problem with shipping and customs, emergency bottle of wine, telephone and internet box as you'll be using those right up until you leave, airbed and sheets for son to live in house in Dubai to look after cat and dog.
know your allowance, for us we flew with Emirates who allow 30kg per passenger and check with airline what items are forbidden.

Air Freight
Everything you need to live in your home once your shipping has been packed, ours included the following:

1st aid tin and contents, air bed pump, airbeds, bed linen, belt, binoculars, blanket,

BOWLS, cafeteria, cake cases, camping fridge, cast iron pan and lid, cat bed, cat carrier, clock radio, cutlery set of 4 settings, decorative tin, dog toy, dresses, 

dressing gown, electric razor, extension cables, extension towers, face cloth, football, frying pan, glass oven dish, GLASSES, global knives, gloves, hand bags, hat, jacket, jug, jumper, kettle, kitchen linen, mirrors, MUGS, ORION TV, pet bowl, pillow cases, plastic container, plastic files, PLATES, printer, ring binders, rucksack, sandwich toaster, saucepan, scarf, set of 2 telephones, sheets, shirts, shoes, shorts, skirt, stool, suitcase, tent poles, toiletries, tool box, torch, towels, trophy, trousers,

Tupperware, water bottle, wicker basket, christmas presents (assuming air freight arrives before your shipping and on time as promised by HR)

Some of the above stuff was left behind after shipping and/or there was room to pack it.

Shipping container
All belongings were carefully sorted and items no longer needed for country of destination were donated to various local charities. Your shipping company can make arrangements for this if needed.

EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING has to be itemised and a replacement cost given for renewal in your country of destination for insurance purposes, again the shipping company can arrange an appraisal for you, but you need to know to ask for this prior to packing.

5 weeks into an expat move and we're still living in a hotel.

The house is ready to move into. Only 1 month after the contract was signed and has involved lots of phone calls, shouting, crying, walking away, almost throwing the towel in, being ignored, listening to the relocation people, land lady and agent pass the buck and even accuse me of time wasting yesterday. It is cleaned (not 'Suzanne' clean though) and now the battle begins to get the visa's, until they are ready we cannot get our air freight sent from South Africa or our container released from customs. Nor can we get wifi, phone line, tv or postal delivery sorted.

Visa application is as follows:

After 3 weeks in the UK, preceded by applying for documents, having them signed by a solicitor, sent off to the Foreign Office then having them attested at the UAE Embassy in London, they were submitted for application in Dubai on November 29th.

HR did not inform us that this was for pre approval for permission to apply for a work visa.
It was only on Christmas eve we were informed of that, assuming that it would be ready when we arrived and we could've applied for the residency, sent for the air freight and cleared customs and moved into the house NOW.

It will be another week before the work visa is in place then 3-8 days for the residency visa to be done. I will need to leave Dubai as my 30 day visa will have expired (watch out I may come back to the UK or SA, but probably just fly to Oman and back in a day), then we can apply for my visa and move into the house around the same time.

We are now in our 5th week of living in a hotel, our allowance only covers 30 days accommodation. Packing air freight was a waste of time and our container is in storage.

The one thing you need to know about being an expat.

Having just started our 4th year as an expat from the UK to South Africa, there are many things I'm still angry about, they prevent me from moving on, but haven't stopped me getting on with things.

I LOVE South Africa, the climate, the lifestyle, the wildlife, but it's not home. I'm not South African. I understand many things about life here but I don't like many aspects of life here.

When I visit the UK it's home, I know what's what, how things work, but there are/were many aspects of my life in the UK I didn't like either.

So what's preventing me from moving on?

The removal firm. Many issues but still things that annoy me today. It was only on the day of removal that the company informed us we couldn't take anything that had been used outside unless it was steam cleaned. It was 2 days before Christmas so we sold and gave stuff away quickly and cheaply. Then they inform us they couldn't book the shipping until after we obtained our visa number. In the end we didn't need to be homeless over Christmas and for another 3 weeks, we could've saved a lot of money if we'd been given time to get items cleaned.

The bank account. We opened an account with HSBC to move to South Africa. On arrival they cancel my bank card due to 'unusual activity' and then tell us that because they don't have a branch here, therefore credit history and ability to borrow money don't apply. We depleted our UK savings to get a deposit for a car (bought beds, kitchen essentials etc, due to delay in shipping furniture) and then borrowed money at 14% instead of 6% the HSBC were offering.

The company. Well it doesn't matter that these people no longer work for the firm, what matters is they lied on headed note paper (email) I can't work, they told me I would be able to. My son has had to return to the UK to complete his education because HR was so desperate to get a school place she never passed on his special needs reports and told the school he'd only be there 2 years. (He's dyslexic and SA main stream schools don't do learning support)

There have been many other things, but like stuff that happened in the UK I consider it to be part of life. Difficulties with neighbours, maintaining friendships and relationships, feeling and being let down, etc, etc, etc.

But just as I feel comfortable, just as I get used to the kids leaving home and making plans to fill the empty nest with further studies, travels, volunteer work the one thing happens that turns it all upside down.

The one thing I'd wish I'd known before becoming an expat is that as soon as you feel settled, adapt and make plans for your future you get asked to relocate.