Migraines and medication

I suffer with/from chronic migraines. This is defined as having headaches on at least 15 days per month. I've also been diagnosed with stabbing migraine.

They dominate and control my life.

There is no link with my menstrual cycle, food/drink, travel, lack of or too much sleep.

I know this because I keep a food diary, I haven't had a period for 3 years, they didn't worsen or improve being perimenopausal or being menopausal.

Over the past year I have found a concoction of tablets that will suppress a migraine when it breaks out. It is the first time that I have managed (with support from a new GP) to find something to treat myself at home with. Previously severe migraines have lasted 4-5 days and on occasions up to 9 days where I've had to go into hospital for treatment, these usually happen about once a year..

It involves paracetamol, triptan, aspirin and an anti sickness tablet. To be repeated after 2 hours if no improvement.

This is a record of the number of days since the start of the year I have taken the rescue meds, listed above. Highlighted in pink.

It is not the number of days I've had a migraine or a headache, just the days I've taken the meds, the headaches/migraines will have occurred on the days in-between also. I've also been taking 50mg of Topiramate daily as a preventative since my last hospital visit in November 2023.

The neurologist has booked a MRI and has increased my medication for the past 2 weeks to 100mg and as from today, it has increased to 150mg of Topiramate a day.

I've started to record the actual days of head pain now, not just the medication taken.

The increase of Topiramate has 4 months to take effect before I see the neurologist after my MRI, if it doesn't he'll be referring me to the QE Hospital in Birmingham for consideration of CGRP antagonists.

One of the possible causes for my migraines is stress. I have Chronic Migraines. I've had them my entire life. They drain me, they have a huge impact on my physical, emotional and mental well being. I have auras, I can feel one coming on. I can almost time when it is going to hit. I can hold it off with medication. not fully, it's still there. I can just about function to go to work, or to do things with the family, or get through the housework, or sort the bills, or drive the car, or cook the tea, but I can only manage any of this stuff at 50%. I can't be my usual cheery self. I can't answer a simple question at the same time. I can't slap a smile on my face and just get on with multi tasking. I can't just juggle several things at the same time. I'm short, I'm snappy, I get angry......I'm in bloody pain. 

No I can't go to bed and lie down. it doesn't stop. I can't just switch it off. The light burns, the noise is amplified. I can hear lights buzzing like a vuvuzela in my ear, I can taste metal, I can smell toast. I get electric shocks whizzing around my body, the slightest touch from anyone is like I'm being stabbed. I'm not over reacting.

AND THIS ALL HAPPENS BEFORE THE MIGRAINE. THIS CAN LAST FOR 2-3 DAYS.

Then 2-3 days of pain in my head, like a brick is being hit non stop against my head. I want to smack my head against a wall. I want to rip my head open.

Then relief? NO. 2-3 days of a hangover, tiredness, dry eyes, confusion, I forget simple words like 'cup' I lose the ability to answer a simple question or I answer it in my head. I'm putting all my energy into functioning. Into going to work, into appearing sane and normal, into doing my job, into cooking a meal, into turning the washing machine on, into not looking or sounding weird when I order a coffee or speak to a friend. I'm also nauseous throughout the 3 stages.

So yes, I am stressed, I get depressed, sometimes I find myself crying, I'm exhausted, even when I sleep all night, even when I have a lazy day with no external stress. I'm not sad. 

The side effects of Topiramate at the moment as I increase the dose are the weirdest thing ever. I have this period twice a day within an hour of the meds where I feel drunk, my actions and brain aren't drunk but my body is. I've timed taking the tablets so it doesn't interfere with working. I have a silly grin on my face and feel uncoordinated, but actually everything works together. I also have whole body pins and needles that just come, stay for about 10 mins, then disappear. I've been told all of this is transient and it will settle in a week or two.

I've lost most of my taste, especially with fizzy drinks, they just taste flat and my mouth feels dry. I'm also extremely chilled out, almost switched off/tuned out from things. I can pay attention to what it going on, such as driving, but I've tuned out trival things, such as conversations, TV,/radio, background noises. I can hear them, but I've no interest in them.

I lost a stone in weight in the first 7 months of taking Topiramate and I have been keeping a record of my food intake on an app as I genuinely forget to eat a lot of the time and really don't feel hungry most of the time. I've gone back to meal planning to make sure I get enough of the right calories each day, as it's so easy to just not eat, when your brain tells you you're not hungry. I don't need to lose any more weight.

However at the moment I'm eating and eating lots. Seeking out savoury and sweet foods and drinking all the time. This is a sign a migraine is on the way, but until the auras start, I can't take the preventative as it won't work, I just have to keep a close eye on it and wait for the right moment.

There's no point going to bed and resting, the migraine will come regardless. 

There's no point lying down in a darkened room and resting when I get a migraine, the pain and length of the migraine follows a pattern.

Fingers crossed the new medication settles down and is effective and I can have some quality of life without pain.

Counting calories to lose the weight gained after stopping smoking.

Weight gain is easy, losing it is harder. We all know that.

I've spent this week counting calories to try to understand how I can best lose the 8kg in weight gain since I stopped smoking back in December.

According to my BMI I am over weight. I'm 5ft 7in and in mid February I was weighing just over 76kg. I've always weighed between 70-72kg for most of my life, but with some additional exercise and a house renovation during lockdown, I'd dropped to 68kg, where I felt my most comfortable, was happy with how I looked and how my clothes fitted. 

I'm not happy now and if it wasn't for lockdown I'd be having to buy new clothes for going out in.

I googled a few things, starting with my medication 'can it cause weight gain?' well medication doesn't cause weight gain, it causes an increase in your appetite, the weight gain comes from what you put in your mouth, however, my medication started in November, Beta blockers, does cause weight gain *sighs* Iron infusions also cause weight gain. I've had 2 iron infusions since October.

But that is no excuse, I've been more sedate with my activities and had bursts of exercise when I worked at the golf then did nothing for a few weeks in between, followed by isolation on my return to the UK and in general just eating the wrong foods, snacking and more snacking.

I decided to investigate the best way to lose some weight, then maintain it, without going on a special diet, just plain and simple lifestyle choices. After all for most of my life I've weighed between 70-72kg. I've snacked, had takeouts, have a sweet tooth, enjoy chocolate, sweets, cakes, ice cream alongside a normal diet and moderate exercise in the form of dog walking, gardening, housework etc.

So that's how I came to count calories. If I can cut 500 calories a day I can expect to loose 2kg a month. I've lost 1kg in the first 3 weeks, but that's been with increasing my exercise, longer walks and joining in daily with Joe Wicks exercises for seniors, yes I know, but I have coordination issues, I need a slower pace. 

Here's what I've been eating, how I'm counting and why I'm so giving up cake and sweets and allowing myself the occasional bar of chocolate instead.

I'm already on a wheat free diet due to my migraines and a bleed in the small intestine and I don't have citrus drinks/fruit due to dental and bone implants.

Calories in hot drinks come from milk and sugars. If I make a latte at home it's 110 calories as it's a smaller cup.

Swopping apple juice for no added sugar apple squash saves almost 90 calories per glass.

Weighing out ingredients gives you an idea of how much you are eating. There are 109 calories in 30g of this fruit cheese, slightly less than cheddar. How many times a day do you just snap off a piece of cheese to nibble on?

I weighed the amount of butter, sugar and mix used to work out how many calories each pancake contains.

I don't always get to eat all my calories anyway.

It gets a bit complicated keeping note of everything you eat. I started day 1 recording items as I ate them, Day 2 I planned a bit more as I knew roughly how many calories were in a lot of things and Wednesday/Thursday and over the weekend, I'll be planning the calories, snacks and drinks to achieve 1500 calories a day.

I followed the advice to have a breakfast every morning, but that makes me want to eat more during the day as once I start eating I want to keep on going.

A typical example of Breakfast, lunch and dinner. Non fat yogurt, tsp honey, banana. Low fat bacon, gluten free roll with butter and brown sauce and Chicken breast, carrots, hummus and beet root salad, all contain similar calories.

And here come the extra calories. A slice of cake and 5 boiled sweets. This is the same as 2 and a half Crunchies, almost 6 milky way bars or 10 kitkat fingers. I do have some banana bread I made in the freezer that I omitted sugar from and it works out at 80 calories per slice.

There's so many other things I've discovered about food that I will continue with after the weekend when I finish counting the calories as it's so time consuming.

I'm starting a list of the most common foods I eat and their calorie content, I'm already reducing the amount of butter/oils I use in baking/cooking and cutting out sugar in drinks. Weighing dried products such as rice and pasta before cooking not only keeps the calories within the RDA but cuts down on food waste also. I often meal plan to help with reducing the amount of trips I make to the supermarket anyway and with meal planning I can swop meals around, reduce quantities of cupboard and freezer items if I want to eat a bar of chocolate or treat myself to a glass of wine.

To lose the weight gained I need to cut out cake and sweets, alcohol, chunks of cheese from the fridge as I pass. Staying up late makes me snack, eating too early makes me eat all day. Writing everything down makes me more honest with myself about what I'm eating, weighing foods and working out the calories makes me think twice about having that extra snack or eating just the one bag of sweets. I'm drinking a glass of water before each meal as it does make me feel a bit fuller. 

I aim to lose a further 2kg this month, increase my exercise and improve my diet. I won't be counting calories next week, I'll just be reducing portion sizes and thinking twice before I eat or drink something.

Do you have any tips on maintaining a healthy diet, losing weight and exercising you'd be happy to share with me?

Are you taking too many vitamin substitutes?

I don't take vitamin supplements, there's no need. I have an absorption problem. I'm low on B12 and ferritin stores. A year of supplements from the Doctors and levels didn't rise. A ferritin infusion and B12 injections saw my levels raise slightly.

I'm not absorbing the B12 and the ferritin though food either. So I need the 3 monthly injections and infusions.

I know people are trying to be helpful but I really wish they'd listen when I say we shouldn't take supplements without our Doctors knowledge, we should get enough through a well balanced diet.

Living in Dubai I'm constantly told that as I don't spend much time in the sun as it's too hot, I should take a Vitamin D supplement. I however don't have low levels of Vitamin D and I should also take calcium supplements. Calcium and vitamin D supplements can protect against cancer, diabetes and high blood pressure.

However taking calcium can impair iron absorption, which I mentioned I'm already not getting enough of and there are side affects from too many vitamins. People think that because they can purchase vitamin tablets off the shelf, for as little as 99p for Vitamin tablets, that they are harmless and I should follow their lead if I want to improve my health.

The health issues I have due to low ferritin stores and low B12 are as follows:

• dizziness
• headache
• itching
• confusion
• lethagy
• chronic fatigue
• bone pain
• numbness
• breathlessness 

I also have:

• elevated platelet count
• high white blood cell count

Therefore I do not wish to add the following symptoms to my ever growing list by overdosing on supplements, that my stomach won't absorb anyway.

Side effects of too much Vitamin D

• Elevated Blood Levels. 
• Elevated Blood Calcium Levels.
• Nausea, Vomiting and Poor Appetite. 
• Stomach Pain, Constipation or Diarrhea. 
• Bone Loss. 
• Kidney Failure.

Side effects of too much B12

• restenosis (reoccurrence of narrowing of a blood vessel) after stent placement.
• high blood pressure immediately after injecting vitamin B-12.
• dizziness.
• headache.
• cold symptoms, such as coughing or runny nose (nasopharyngitis)
• anxiety.
• rash.
• itchy or burning skin.

Side effects of too much Calcium

• Excessive thirst and frequent urination. ... 
• Stomach pain and digestive problems. ... 
• Bone pain and muscle weakness. ... 
• Confusion, lethargy, and fatigue. ... 
• Anxiety and depression. ... 
• High blood pressure and abnormal heart rhythms.

Side effects of too much Iron

• chronic fatigue.
• joint pain.
• abdominal pain.
• liver disease (cirrhosis, liver cancer)
• diabetes mellitus.
• irregular heart rhythm.
• heart attack or heart failure.
• skin colour changes (bronze, ashen-gray green)

Getting the right vitamins from your diet.

For me I'm focusing only on B12 and Iron, I've pretty much cut out bread, crisps, sweets, chocolate and fizzy drinks out of my diet due to recent dental surgery. Dairy products can reduce your ability to absorb Iron, but as I have an absorption problem, it won't make much difference. I can't eat nuts due to my teeth either and fortunately I love all the foods on the lists. I don't drink a lot of alcohol during the week, but I do have a latte everyday and I can't believe that just cutting that out altogether would solve my problems and everything I eat and drink is in moderation.

B12

• Beef, liver, and chicken.
• Fish and shellfish such as trout, salmon, tuna fish, and clams.
• Fortified breakfast cereal.
• Low-fat milk, yogurt, and cheese.
• Eggs.

Iron

• Include dairy products in your diet every day. 
• Learn to love leafy green vegetables. 
• Eat more fish. 
• Replace the meat in some meals with tofu or tempeh. 
• Snack on calcium-rich nuts like Brazil nuts or almonds. 
• Reduce your intake of caffeine, soft drinks and alcohol.

Should I seize the day more?

1. 
   

We've lost a lot of family members and friends over the past 12 months, I'm sure we'll lose many more over the coming years. I like to make the most of every opportunity, I love to travel and have the resources and support of my husband for me to do so. I love nothing more than taking up an invite to see people far and wide.

I think my life and that of my children is fairly adventurous. Two of our kids were in school in South Africa with us. Peter was asked if he wanted to move there and within 4 months of the question being asked we were 6000 miles away. Two of our kids joined the army and travelled the world. One of our kids announced last summer he was going to Australia with his girlfriend and within a month they were gone.

As a family we seize the day, we make the most of every opportunity we are given, but we weigh things up carefully, we write lists of pro's and con's, we always find more pro's and if things don't work out living abroad then we can always go back.

But yet I still get told I could seize the day more, but for every thing I choose to do there are consequences, some are harmless, some are life changing. 

When friends do a charity parachute jump or take part in a dangerous activity, my first thought is 'What if something goes wrong?' My husband wants to do a parachute jump, but I can't help but think of how I'd be affected if he broke a leg on landing such as sorting out the medical aid bills, having to drive him to work every day or worse still if he died if something went wrong. I like to weigh up the risks. Of course if my husband broke his leg I'd do the above for him, but I know I would feel resentful if he did out out of an activity that could've been avoided.

I know we are at risk of our lives being cut short at any given time, through the fault of others and by our own acts, but I don't want to be responsible for an accident that inconveniences others or even my life being cut short through a dangerous activity.

I will however eat that slice of cake, enjoy a pint of beer, eat fast food, but I will balance my diet healthily to ensure I'm around as long as possible. I'm aware of how my father died after developing type 2 diabetes and having a stroke. I've started to drink a bit too much, the odd G&T here and there does no harm, but the odd G&T is becoming 2 or 3 on 2 or 3 days a week.

I've spent beyond my limits and worried myself sick about how I'll manage till the next payday, but I've learnt from all that, I've learnt to think about the consequences, weigh things up properly. It doesn't make me a party pooper, I just know my own limitations.

I've flown down the zip wire, I've been caving in the days before I had kids and responsibilities. I've drunk too much on a night out, I've made decisions that could've ended badly.

I have of course seized the day when the risks have been lower and the finances higher. I've booked a last minute flight to visit family and friends, worn the heels that blister my toes, because I look fab in them, worn the dress without worrying what other people think about my mum tum (that's their problem, not mine) I've purchased THAT handbag, tested my fear of heights by walking on glass floors 350ms in the air and going up the World's tallest building.

I'm currently in Germany staying with friends, they're at work during the day, I'm exploring locally, I don't speak the language, not many speak English here, but I'm not letting that stop me.

I don't think I need to seize the day more, I just need to carry on living the life I choose. I think my life is full enough already.

What about you? 

One Daily Positive - Week 46

There have been a couple of trips to the pub, to see friends, lots of walks and bike rides and plenty of lie in’s this week. I’ve started on a course of steroids and I'm feeling much better, although I've now started to feel sick when I lie down at night.

316 Sunday Poppy
I joined in with Remembrance Sunday service in town. Disappointed with a handful of women who talked through the two minute silence, Lords Prayer and National Anthem. Feeling worse health wise, shortness of breath now and constant coughing, antibiotics finished and started a course of steroids. Watched TV and had a sleep after lunch and late afternoon I walked to mums to collect her car for the morning.

317 Monday Silhoutte
Off to Gloucester with child 2 and 2a to visit child 1.

318 Tuesday Beauty
Posted the last parcel to child 4 in the Middle East and to 4a for Christmas. Sent of a box of goodies to 3 and 3a out in Australia and a few bits and pieces to friends in the UK. I had an upset in Waitrose thinking about my Dad when I realised I won't be doing any Christmas shopping for him this year, a few kind words from a stranger who recognised my struggles was much appreciated and prevented further tears. Spent the evening with a friend.

319 Wednesday Happy
Had a lovely lie in and Mum phoned she had cabin fever and wanted to pop out for a bit so we went to Abergavenny for a spot of shopping and lunch. I fixed one of dads bikes up and cycled back to the flat. Child 1 was taken to hospital after being unable to weight bare, X-rays showed nothing broken but a worrying few hours while we waited for news.

320 Thursday Muse
Christmas cards and letters written, made several phone calls to sort out Mum's flat purchase and helped friends out with some advice. A new neighbour moved in, he's very noisy at 6.30am in the morning, what is it with people unable to walk upstairs without clanging the rails with their shopping and inability to close their flat door quietly?

321 Friday Nature
Coffee in town with Mum, more phone calls and paperwork then over to mums for a family party. I cycled over and took the car back dropping off a bay and olive tree for my friend to look after when Mum moves.

322 Saturday Colour
I had a lie in and wandered into town for a coffee and post the last of my Christmas cards, I then spent the afternoon in the flat, blogging and catching up with the week's linkys and popped out to visit a friend, before having a long soak in the bath and an early night.

On the blog this week:

My Sunday Photo - R is for Rain. I was only away from the UK for just under 3 weeks, it appears I've returned to winter now.

TriumphantTales TweensTeensBeyond PoCoLo Mother of the Groom. Child 2 and 2a are getting married in June 2018. What the hell am I going to wear?

AnimalTales and linking up with Z is for Zoo. Dubai Zoo closes it's doors after 50 years.  and Bobs pre school assessment. Day care for Bob the Dog.

Week 86 - My Sunday Photo - Too many carbs

Both Peter and I have piled on a few pounds during our UK trip.

Since leaving the UK early 2011 we've noticed how much healthier we've been eating than we did in the UK.

Whilst travelling we've eaten out nearly every night. Eating bread, potatoes (chips, crisps, etc) and pasta almost every day.

We've OD'd on Carbs.

We've also been drinking a lot of sugary drinks as well as upping our alcohol intake (pub meals almost daily).

On our return to Dubai we said we'd get back into our normal healthy diets. Yesterday I felt a bit headachy, we went out for a salad for lunch, which I had a glass of water with and homemade lasagne for dinner. I drank rose tea throughout the day and took to my bed at 5pm with the start of a migraine.

I spent all day today in bed, mostly sleeping and drinking water. At 4pm I downed 2 cans of coke and ate 4 welsh cakes, at 5pm I felt well enough to take a walk on the beach, followed by a burger, curly fries and mountain dew. I took a shower, walked the dog, did a load of washing and took the bins out.

At 8pm I was suffering with indigestion, felt sick and my headache had returned.

I'd OD'd again on carbs, but I did have 3 hours of feeling well and was up and and above, but that was because I had a sugar rush. My body fooled me into thinking I was feeling ok, but when the rush went, I felt no better than I had before 4pm.

Lesson learnt, I need to ween myself off the carbs and fizzy drinks slowly, so my body stops craving sugar. I'll start the morning with porridge and fruit juice and will make sure I have some carbs at lunch time to keep me going till dinner, which will consist of chicken and veg and salad.

Oh I wish I'd looked after me teeth - Pam Ayres

I'm reminded of Pam Ayres at the moment and her classic poem 'I wish I'd looked after me teeth' which can listen to here. Particularly poignant to me is the last verse.

'How I laughed at my mother’s false teeth,

As they foamed in the waters beneath.

But now comes the reckonin’

It’s methey are beckonin’

Oh, I wish I’d looked after me teeth.'

I'm losing my teeth at a rapid rate, OK I haven't had dental work for over 4 years, just check ups and every time they tell me they need to remove 3 teeth, but they don't say why, other than, it can't be repaired or it is loose. These are 3 of my top teeth, that form part of my broad smile and while they don't cause me any pain I'm confused as to why I should have them removed. So here they stay.

I hate visiting the dentist, I'm not frightened of the work, I have an old neck injury and I find it difficult to sit/lie in that position for more than a few minutes without severe pain, I've yet to meet a dentist who understands what I mean as they always interpret it with 'just lie back and relax you'll be fine' the only part of me not being relaxed is the lying back because and I'll say it one last time 'I HAVE AN OLD INJURY TO MY NECK, I CAN'T LIE IN THAT POSITION'

Also with moving around a lot it's difficult to find a dentist I can trust with my teeth, I've been told so many different things over the years, such as I can have a bridge for the top right of my mouth, to discover I'd have to have the rest of my trop teeth on that side removed first, when I ask why I was told because this what they have to do. I've also been told many times that ALL my old dental work needs replacing as it has been done badly, how can this be?

A few years ago I chipped a front tooth, I went to a new dentist to have it fixed, next thing I knew they had filed down my front tooth completely and put a badly fitting veneer on it, it's not straight and 5 years on it still irritates my tongue. I've chipped the other front tooth now and I'm on a liquid diet until I've done my research on finding yet another new dentist I feel I can trust who doesn't just carry work out without a full explanation and offer alternatives.

I also have bone disease in my mouth and I was told by various dentists that I would need implants sooner rather than later, it's an expensive option but a route I was willing to take some day sooner rather than later, that was until I went to discuss it properly and was told for the first time last year, I don't actually have enough bone in my mouth for implants and will need bone graphs. Now that will mean several weeks, months with no teeth in my mouth while the implants take before I can have the posts and new teeth fitted and at 44 I really don't want that, especially with front teeth missing, would you?

I've found a clinic in Harley Street, that can fix your smile in one day, but it comes in at a cost of £15,000, plus all the extras like CT scans to check on the depth of my bone in my mouth and is a 5 hour procedure under a local sedation, which with my neck I'd never be able to manage. I'm at a loss at what to do. I could finance the work, it would be a push. But I fear that I'd have to pay a lot of money up front, air fares, hotels (I live in Dubai) CT scans to discover there's not enough bone for the implants.

So I'm checking out what Dubai has to offer, what would be covered on my medical aid, front teeth aren't cosmetic as far as I can work out they should be covered, but with the damage to my teeth already I doubt anyone would be willing to fix the top 8 without fixing the rest of my mouth.

If anyone has had similar issues and found a way forward without breaking the bank or going without teeth, please do get in touch. Also if you've ended up with false teeth due to implants costing too much or having bone disease, let me know how you're getting on. I really don't want false teeth at 44, but I suppose that has to be better than no teeth, doesn't it?

Week 7 Project 365 I finally got my visa

The week hasn't started well I'm afraid, no dramas, just health issues. All this uncertainty and hotel living has finally caught up with me and I can't seem to stay awake. I finally got my residency visa this week, just waiting for my Emirates ID, then I can apply for my driving license and open a bank account.

Day 39 #onedailypositive #inmybag #fmsphotoaday #out&about #snaphappybritmums #project365

I spent the morning cooking and wearing pjs, I had no plans to go out other than the photo prompt for today. The cooking inspired ideas for the rest of the week, so I dressed, caught the number 93 bus and visited Carrefore, returning within the hour with a bag full of goodies to make soups, risotto and banana muffins. It's wonderful after living in South Africa just to be able to 'pop to the shops' using public transport.

Day 40 ‪#‎onedailypositive‬ ‪#‎energy‬ ‪#‎fmsphotoaday‬ ‪#‎snowdrops‬‪#‎snaphappybritmums‬ ‪#‎project365‬ 

Any suggestions as to where I can find snowdrops in the middle of the desert? So I'm cheating and took a photo of the sledge run at the ‪#‎MallOfEmirates‬ it's snow and a drop. Energy wise and my one daily positive I'm on a train to Jebel Ali with my passport TO FINALLY GET MY VISA. My tourist visa expires in 2 days and I really didn't fancy another visa flight to Oman and back.

The train to Jebel Ali was a new route for me and it was weird to pass through Energy station on route.








Day 41 #onedailypositive #ThisInspiresMe #fmsphotoaday #RaiseSomeDough #snaphappybritmums #project365

4 years ago I gave up making financial donations to #charities. I'll still happily sponsor a child with an activity at their school as I believe the message of helping others is a good virtue to install into our children, but I won't be sponsoring the cost of your skydive or mountain trek and I won't be donating to #ComicRelief and other organisations.
What happened to change my mind? I moved to South Africa and volunteering became a way of life for me, in fact my entire life and I was fortunate to meet some of the most inspiring people I've ever come across with my involvement in Santa Shoebox and The Viva Foundation. Alone we cannot stop poverty, but from experience we can do something to make life a little more tolerant and give hope and a sense of identity. This little girl in the picture is 3 and like all her class mates she had never had a birthday party, in fact if you ask the children at the Viva School how old they are, they are unable to tell you. Birthday parties are a luxury, actually running water and electricity are luxuries so you can imagine how far down the list a birthday party or a gift actually is.
I shall be back in South Africa in October to help collect, pack, sort and distribute up to 10,000 christmas gifts in Pretoria and will be making and selling cakes and crafts here in Dubai to raise funds for Viva to support education and provide their children with the opportunity to have a birthday party, a cake and a bit of respect. If you want to donate directly to Viva then please click here, citing Party and Chickenruby as your reference. 

Day 42 #onedailypositive #OnTheWall #fmsphotaday #two #snaphappybritmums #project365

This is driving me up the wall, I have no idea which light switch operates which light and for some reason as I've discovered today, if I want the outside light on at the front of the house, the switch for it is in our bedroom at the back of the house. So today I'm labelling all the switches and drawn a little map. Sad? No, we had 2 switches in South Africa for 2 years that we never knew what they switched on. In every room there appears to be 2 switches that don't operate any lights anywhere and yes, I've checked and replaced bulbs/globes. The daily positive is that today feels like the first day of normal, I'm catching up with blogging and sorting photo's and off to the beach in a bit to cool down after mopping the kitchen floor.

Day 43 #onedailypositive #pointy #fmsphotoaday #white #snaphappybritmums #project365

This photo was taken from our front door step. It is the white moon above the pointy top of the Burj Khalifa, the world's tallest building at 828 meters high. Everywhere you go in Dubai the Burj Khalifa is visible, from the beach, the bus stop and on a very clear day there have been reports you can see it from Saudi Arabia.
Now we are back in the northern hemisphere the moon and the stars are familiar again, it's strange though not to be able to see the southern cross anymore. Today's positive is we are fortunate, through hard work and determination to have the opportunity to live abroad and experience life as expats.

Day 44 ‪#‎temptation‬ ‪#‎fmsphotoaday‬ ‪#‎dinner‬ ‪#‎snaphappybritmums‬‪#‎project365‬ 

Sitting in the desert having a braai, there's a fillet steak on the coals and for dessert M&Ms, fairy cakes and fizzy pop.

Day 45 #onedailypositive #love #fmsphotoaday #hearts #snaphappybritmums #project365

Having spent 4 years in the Southern Hemisphere and now moving to another hot climate, it has been important to me to mark the seasons in some way rather than relying on the weather. In South Africa Halloween is in Spring, Christmas in the summer and Easter in Autumn. I marked the seasons by celebrating the events and decided the dining room was the best place to do this because as a family with kids and now without them we always sat down together for our main meal of the day. We spent this christmas back in the northern hemisphere but on the beach, no amount of penguins or snowmen on cards can make it feel like a christmas I knew but I do enjoy setting the dining room table to reflect the seasons and at least now at Easter when I put the decorations out, it will be back in spring again.

What's getting me down right now?

Winter
Our house has NO insulation, wooden and metal window frames and single pane glass, it is also open plan and very little sun light reaches inside the house, it gets dark by 5.30pm and the sun doesn't rise till 6.45am which leads me to:

Power cuts
Last week was 3 days without electricity, this week 3 mornings in a row the power has switched off, hot baths are limited as is the use of the electric blanket and this morning I had to get ou to dry my hair at the gym, which leads me to:

Health
I came back from the Uk beginning of May with a chest infection, very soon I had pleurisy, the last weekend of June I actually felt well and went to Kruger, I returned with the flu, took to my bed which means I haven't been going to the gym or attending my physio and that leads me to:

Diet
I've had little taste or sense of smell, I haven't felt hungry, when I have eaten it's been junk food, preprepared food and chocolate and coke and in turn I've had headaches, suffered with my neck which is made worse by the cold of winter.

So now I've completed a full cycle with Winter, Power cuts, health and diet I'll tell you what else has been getting me down.

Charity work
The more I do, the more I see, the more useless I feel that I can't help more people and the more money I spend. There are new people and structures in a few of the places I volunteer at, who want set days and times so they can plan around my arrival, but that's not how I work, I'm a volunteer I give my time and my skills when I can.

Work (lack of)
Or at least some kind of an income to fund the voluntary work.

Face book
I've temporally deleted my account. Why? Well I'm sort of fed of people thinking they keep in touch with me purely because they 'like' a picture or comment. I'm also fed of people make huge announcements on face book and then expect that I trawl through their posts looking for these said announcements and then reply with heart felt sincerity. You have news to tell me, then tell me, when we moved to SA we told people individually, even if it was on a private message and waited till all had replied before we made it public. I get upset hearing about pregnancies, marriages etc at the same time as casual acquaintances.

USB port
There are only 2 on my MacBook Air and one of them doesn't work. I've only had the laptop for a few months and it should be repaired under warranty, but it will be away for weeks for the repair and I'll have no computer access.

Decisions for the future
I'd love to have a say in our future, our timescale and the how, when and where.

So I have lots getting me down right now, I'm being proactive about dealing with these issues, but when you suffer with ill health, ones ability to focus on what's important, goes out the window.