Showing posts with label responsibility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label responsibility. Show all posts

Tuesday, 31 October 2017

Alcohol, Parents and Teens.

Last week on #TweensTeensBeyond Co-Host Mother of Teenagers asked 'What is Responsible Drinking for Parents?' I am a great believer that children follow by example and experience has shown me that if parents drink heavily or un responsibly in front of their children it can lead to them consuming alcohol at an earlier age.

I rarely drink when I'm on my own. There have been quite a few times when I've had a call in the middle of the night which has resulted in an emergency dash to a hospital with a child or for a family member. There was a situation about 12 years ago when I poured myself a rum and coke before bed and I was distracted by a last minute 'hunt the PE kit' when hubby phoned to say he'd arrived back at Heathrow but his luggage and car keys hadn't and I had to bundle 4 kids into the car and drive down from Worcestershire with the spare keys.


Back in 2014 I worked with South African Breweries whilst living in South Africa to raise awareness of their 18+ campaign to educate children and teenagers about the dangers of drinking and to say no to alcohol. It covered a range of subjects from signs your child is drinking, talking to your teen about alcohol and alcohol responsibility at social events. Part of the campaign included a family day out to Sun City where we spent the day on Segways providing us with the opportunity to talk about the dangers of drinking alcohol. I had another opportunity and a captive audience a few weeks later when the teen and I spent 27 hours on the Shosholoza Meyl Train traveling from Joburg to Cape Town.



Peer pressure is one of the biggest reasons kids drink. Adverts in the media show young adults, drinking alcohol and having fun, being grown up. TV adverts glamourize alcohol and the message of ‘enjoy responsibly’ is rarely taken in as a warning, more of a slogan.

There are many reasons as to why under 18s drink alcohol, they mimic behavior of others around them, their friends and family members, they may complain of being bored, stressed, unhappy, lack confidence, want to rebel or are angry. There could be death in the family, a change of school, not doing as well in their subjects as they wanted. 

Many teenagers go though these stages and not all take to drinking alcohol, some may take drugs also, self harm or become reclusive, some have eating problems. But not all teenagers resort to the above, some will choose to talk to a parent, a teacher, a family member or a friend. From an early age we teach our children about the rights and wrongs, we teach them to say pleases and thank yous to say no to strangers if offered sweets or a lift. We can empower our children from an early age to say NO to anything they don’t want to do, teach them to walk away, ask them will these so called friends be there to help them in a difficult situation? Teach them the concesquences of their behavior, their actions, even the future implications on their working and family lives and future relationships. A lot of what you say may appear to go in one ear and out the other, but they take in a lot more than you realise.

I've fallen out with many a friend because they've purchased alcohol for their child, as they put it 'to control the situation' I’ve had children to sleep over who've brought alcohol with them and had my kids return from parties where alcohol has been provided by parents. I’ve seen parents sneaking a bottle of alco pops to their children as as they call it ‘it’s not proper alcohol anyway’

As a child we had alcohol in the house, my parents weren't drinkers, in fact my Mother doesn't like the taste of alcohol and even as an adult has felt peer pressure to 'let herself go, unwind and have a drink'
We also have alcohol in the house and while I enjoy a glass of wine or a spirit from time to time, I rarely drink in the week and hardly ever alone. I tend only to have more than a few when we have visitors for a braai or a party and only have an alcoholic drink when out if hubby is driving and doesn't have any alcohol. I usually volunteer to be the driver because I don't NEED alcohol to have fun and to be honest too may people here tend to think one or two drinks won’t impair their ability to drive and besides as they say ‘I’ve had something to eat, it’ll be out my system soon’

I must say for us now with no children living permanently at home we tend not to invite friends with children round to social gatherings and many of our friends have babes in arms, we have never allowed our children alcohol at home other than to have a sip to try it when they’ve pestered and every time they’ve been disgusted by the taste and ask why do we drink it?

When the eldest child turned 18, we were in America where the drinking age is 21. We bought him a bottle of cider and he didn’t drink it, I guess being given permission by your parents isn’t a lot of fun.

The legal age in South Africa to buy and consume alcohol is 18. Alcohol to under 18s is only permitted for religious reasons and can only be given under supervision of the parents. In Dubai the legal drinking age is 21. You also have to have a license to purchase alcohol if you are resident here, which requires you having permission from your sponsor and proving you are not a muslim.

However the legal age in the UK differs greatly, a child under the age of 5 may only be given alcohol under medical supervision, aged 5 drink alcohol only on private premises, aged 16+ with a meal on licenced premises but the adult must order and pay for the alcohol and aged 18+ to purchase and drink alcohol, unrestricted. 

Do you allow your child to consume alcohol? What are your reasons?


Thursday, 28 March 2013

Now. Now, now and Just now.......



When people here say ‘I’ll do it now’ they actually mean ‘forget it’

When people here say ‘I’ll do it now, now’ they actually mean ‘I’ll get round to it, in the near future, as long as you keep reminding me’

When people here say ‘I’ll do it just now’ they actually mean ‘you’ve got a fair chance I’ll get back to you sometime today’

And this is why after a week I’m still without my car. But it’s not just because there was a public holiday last Thursday and most people took the Friday off also, or the fact that the whole country is winding down to a complete standstill for Easter and doesn’t get going until the 8th April at the earliest. It’s also because I don’t know how things work here.

On Monday I had a big row with the warranty company because they told me my policy had expired March 17th so of course I went ahead and had the work done. I then discover warranty wasn't signed till April 5th, so they extended the warranty but then said as id already had the car repaired they couldn’t assess it and wouldn’t pay another row and now finally they paid R4000 towards the R6241.50 bill.

So all is good, well actually it isn’t because the garage also informed me that the ignition barrel was damaged and the quote for a new one was R4900.00. So on Tuesday a friend suggested that I call my car insurance company as they were the ones who towed my vehicle.

But for my insurance company to investigate I have to make a claim….now hang on, I have a contract with them, if they sub contract out to local towing firm, that’s still there responsibilty? Surely? I don’t pay part to them and part to someone else do I?

Before towing my car the guy did a vehicle inspection to check for damage, marking 2 cracks in the windscreen and nothing else. He wrote the break down up as mechanical/electrical and sat in the car with the lights on to do this. He requested I emptied out my car before he towed it and I saw him trying to remove my keys from the ignition. He was tugging, pulling and pushing the key. I yelled at him that there was a button to press to release the key, but he ignored me and continued. I walked up to the car, nudged him gently out the way and pushed the button to release the key.

Now my insurance company wants to know why I waited 6 days to report this? Why did I wait so long? Because I didn’t think about phoning them, I had enough going on with the warranty people and being without a vehicle, making me housebound as I can’t use public transport here.

It’s Easter weekend now, my car was towed this morning from the garage by the Insurance Company. I’m going to start taking bets on when I get it back and whether I have to pay and how much.

I guess Saturday 6th after driving to the garage in desperation and demanding it back, yes I will have to pay and the cost won’t be R4900.00 as quoted because that won’t include labour and VAT and they’ll have found another problem.

But your guess is as good as mine as I'm still dealing with people that say 'I'll  do it now'

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