Writing letters: The art of communicating the old fashioned way.

In a post last week I wrote about why I share what I do online, mainly because I'm looking for interaction, sadly I just don't get the response a lot of the time that I'm after. For me, communication is a two way process and a 'like' on facebook just doesn't cut it for me. Since Skype was blocked this year in the UAE, verbal communication has come to a halt, to be honest that was pretty much one way anyway and I don't think our land line rings more than twice a year, we randomly call it just to make sure it is working.

At 46, I'm of the generation that can't live without the internet, but I also know how to live and survive without it. I also have many relatives who don't use social media and being from the generation where I wrote thank you cards for birthday and Christmas presents, I love to write and receive letters and since leaving the UK 7 years ago this month, I've been corresponding with family and friends all over the world. I have pen pals from the world of twitter who I've never met but we write on a regular basis and some of these friendships have had me traveling for meet ups, with my furthest distance travelled to date being a 14 hour flight from Dubai to Toronto to stay with Catherine and her family, known as Always a Redhead.

My two oldest pen pals are an old school friend, Sharron and I keep a shoe box of her letters from when we were 11 and I moved away up until we stopped writing around the age of 19 when boyfriends, work and children came along, but we're still in touch on face book. My other pen pal is my Dad's cousin's daughter Carol and despite us being on face book, we still change physical Christmas cards every year.

The postal system is much improved since moving to Dubai from South Africa where sadly most letters rarely made it in or out, but you'd be surprised with a bit of determination what you could do and I value those people who made extreme efforts and at great costs to keep those avenues of communication open and in fact still do.

A friends mother once stuck a UK 2nd class stamp on a Christmas card and it arrived in South Africa within 5 days, a cousin in Australia addressed the envelope as below and it arrived in under 2 weeks.

31 Valley Crescent

Centurion

Africa

I have my favourite writing spot.

I have a variety of novelty pens.

I keep every letter written and a copy of every letter I send.

I walk to the post office in temps of 40c+ to get your letter or card to you.

I have a box full of note books, I use for blogging, pretty covers and inspirational quotes.

I have cards for every occasions and I have lots of paper.

I keep a record of birthdays, anniversaries and deaths and make sure cards and gifts get to people on time, even if it means leaving them in the UK with my mother months in advance. sadly this doesn't always work in reverse and it does upset. Too many excuses about lack of time, advance planning, the cost of postage and why bother if it's not going to get there.

But those who matter do make the effort, for which I am eternally grateful.

How about you? Do you like to receive post? Do you send letters and cards through the post? Do you have pen pals? Would you like another one?

Just drop me your address in a message on Social Media, I'm found under the name of Chickenruby on twitter, instagram and face book. I'd love to hear from you and add you to my address book.

The importance of letter writing

I've seen numerous social media updates over christmas where people have posted 'thank you for all the messages, hope you all have a happy christmas and new year, sorry I can't reply to everyone'

Really??? Are you sorry you can't reply to each and everyone? Did you really receive THAT many messages?

'We've made a donation instead of sending christmas cards this year, so happy christmas all'

I hate seeing these updates, I don't mind that you haven't sent me a christmas card, but I do mind if you fail to acknowledge mine, just with a simple message on social media to say 'thanks for the card' and I do mind if you can't take the time to respond to a message or update I've tagged you in or sent directly.

Whether we write with pen and paper or write an update on social media we do it for the interaction, for a response, to share information, photo's of places or family, it's all about communication, which is a two way street.

If I write you a missive (10 page hand written letter) respond to it. As a rule the people I write my missives too send them back even longer, even if it's a typed round robin stuck in a card and not personalised, answer it, respond to it. The sender is looking for a response even if it's just a message on Facebook saying 'thanks for the letter/card' Don't just ignore it, that person has contacted you because they want or even in some cases need the interaction, want a response, want to be part of your lives.

The same goes on face book, don't assume someone's update is just rubbing your nose in things and ignore it, they are proud of theirs and their kids achievements and yes sometimes it may be a little exaggerated but they are looking for a response, give a random like or ignore, no worries. But if they've tagged you in the post it is because they want you to see it, they want a response, they are opening up the doors for communication, don't ignore it.

It's too easy with social media to pretend you're involved in someones life, that you've seen their updates and photo's, but how does that person know that if you don't respond?

People say they are too busy these days to write letters anymore, too busy to go on face book and click 'like' but not busy enough to post their own updates.

For 4 years we lived in South Africa, the Christmas we left the UK, we were homeless, having packed up all our worldly goods, what we hadn't already sold or given away and spent christmas touring the UK saying goodbye to family and friends, before moving 6000 miles away.
Last Christmas we were living in a Hotel in Dubai having moved there 6 days before christmas, but as with previous years we still found the time to write and send christmas cards as well as organise presents.

I've spent my week writing thank you notes, asking people about their Christmas and their plans for the year ahead, despite already having already said thank you on face book.
I've written and will be posting the birthday cards for January next week, February till June birthday cards will be sent back to my mum with one of the kids for her to forward on nearer the time and birthday and easter gifts, small toys for my niece, were taken over in September.

It's easier now the kids are adults they only want cash and as for the Mother's they will have flowers for birthdays and Mothers day, ordered online. They will phone when they arrive.

I don't send gifts, cards and letters to be acknowledged with a big thank you, I send them to show that despite living 1000's of miles away that you are important in my life and I'd like to think I'm important in yours. Sadly this isn't always the case, but I will continue to set the example and hope you follow the lead.

These folders contain every letter and card sent to us as a family since our expat journey began in January 2011. I also photocopy every letter I write before sending it. One day, to future generations, I hope it will be of interest, mapping their great grandparents lives abroad.