You don't need to entertain children 24/7

Back from a recent trip to Egypt, the one thing that struck me the most was the number of children playing.

Playing by themselves, without any electronic items in sight anywhere.

This may have something to do with the lack of and poor wifi in Luxor, or the effects of the revolution in 2010, in terms of income, it might have something to do with the weather being good most of the year and the big open spaces, either way it reminded me of the differences between when I raised my kids in the 90's and the way other people raise their kids today.

In the UK and here in Dubai I see children all the time with iPads and mobile phones. Sitting in the trolley playing a game going round the supermarket, in restaurants, coffee shops and in their pushchairs. Nearly every single person I know has at least one gadget available for their child's use and in many cases I know of people who have bought a 2nd iPad for the 2nd child so they don't fight over it. Most families own game consoles and children as young as 8 have their own mobile phones with access to the internet and in many cases even social media accounts. 

As a mum now to 5 adults (almost, the last one turns 18 in April) I'm totally amazed and quite often stunned that (some) parents feel the need to have to entertain their children 24/7 and that (some) children without electronic devices can't seem to entertain themselves these days. With many parents quoting 'but we only have educational apps on them' Of course the child is going to complain when their 'screen time' is limited or interrupted, but they'll get used to it, over time, you'll just have to actually parent them for a little bit and teach them/show them how to behave without a hand held gadget.

I didn't own a mobile phone until I was 28 in 1999, that was also the year we purchased a computer and connected it to the internet at dial up speed. Up until that point I'd had a ZX Spectrum and a hand held packman and a walkman. My kids had various construction toys, toys for the garden and very few toys that required batteries, due to the expense. Toys were bought and sold at car boot sales, saved up for, for christmas and birthdays and borrowed from local toy libraries. We didn't have sky TV, but we did have a video player and borrowed and lent from family and friends.

Weekends and evenings were spent with friends, playing in the garden, with family and out in the street. The kids played unsupervised in the garden while I got on with household chores or played over the park with the neighbours kids, with at least one or two older children supervising or us parents with a flask of tea. Trips to the supermarket were done on the weekends and I usually had at least one child in tow whenever I had a doctors or dental appointment.

Holidays were 1 week a year camping and the occasional trip to the seaside, if the weather was nice. Trips to theme parks were reserved for birthday treats and school trips were local and only for the day.

When ever we went anywhere with the kids they packed themselves a small bag of toys and we added snacks, crayons and a colouring book. These bits and pieces would entertain them for hours on long car journeys, at the doctors or dentists, round the supermarket in the trolley, in their pushchair as we walked round town. We never took the kids for meals out, we didn't even have a McDonalds near us until we moved to Malvern in 2002.

My kids went through their entire primary school years without a mobile phone, none of their friends had one either, without TV's in their bedrooms and without demands for me to entertain them 24/7.

We didn't have the money, several of these years were spent as a single mum, there wasn't the number of gadgets around then as there is today.

We asked our family to club together for a DVD player for Christmas one year, for long car journeys in the mid 2000's that just ended up causing arguments and fights about who wanted to watch what. Eventually the kids had TVs in their bedrooms once they were over 14, they had mobile phones around the same age, but then there was no internet and few were capable of taking photo's. Then there were laptops when they went onto college or 6th form.

Don't get me wrong my kids were still little shits from time to time, or even most of the time. I couldn't blame it on technology, just 4 brothers, fighting to be the alpha male, bored with each others choice of activity but I did see a huge change in their behaviour, attitude and response to me and other adults once they did get access to game boys and TV's.

There's nothing wrong with having bored children, when I told my mum I was bored she'd find me some household chores to do, I soon decided I wasn't that bored and managed to entertain myself.

As an adult I probably spend way too much time on my laptop, phone and plonked in front of the TV, but as I'm an adult with no kids to parent and no job to go to, I can choose how to spend my time online, once I only do after I've done all the things I should be doing including going for a walk and cycling most days.

111 My Sunday Photo - V is for Valentine

Despite the picture which may lead you to believe I'm single, over 40 and lonely, you'd only be right on 2 out of 3.

I'm not looking for a valentine, I'm happily married, I am over 40 and no one warned me that when your kids left home one would fill the space with pets and I'm lonely in the day during the 8+ hours Peter is in work.

Peter and I are going out on the evening of February 14th. Me with a friend for dinner and him with his colleagues for work. 

#BobTheDog will be my valentine's date on Tuesday and we're off for lunch with a group of dogs and their humans.

My dog is how I meet people and make friends, now the kids are no longer at home.

One Daily Positive 2017 Week 6

I woke up Sunday morning full of dread, since finishing work in December and back to back visitors, followed by a long weekend away, I'd actually only had 1 full week of being a SAH. With only Peter and I in the villa with a well behaved cat and dog, there is little washing, ironing, food shopping to do and cleaning.  I make a plan to go out everyday to escape cabin fever, it is winter now and the weather is ideal for walking, cycling and spending time on the beach.

I started the week writing a list of things I wanted to achieve, then spread them out over the week. I find I achieve more this way, don't get bogged down with doing just one thing and it helps me get organised with the important stuff.

Sunday I cleaned the house, top to bottom, it didn't take long as we'd been away half the week. I then spent an hour in the dentists, having more work on a root filing and the salvaging of a tooth that's visible in a broad smile. I stopped for a coffee on the way home. Peter was home by 5pm and we walked Bob, ate salad for dinner in front of the TV. I went to bed early and Peter stayed up late to watch the rugby and football.

Monday morning and Peter worked from home, I made 4 dogs beds, which Bob road tested and we went for a coffee. Peter had a meeting at a dairy and he left me at the mall to do some shopping.

On Tuesday I took Bob out into the desert for a run around (him not me) I spent the rest of the day doing nothing, other than watching you tube, blogging and rearranging the kitchen, as you do.

Wednesday and the week is whizzing by. I had a cheque to pay into the bank and Peter ran out of coffee, so I did the food shop a day early and popped in Tesco, I spent far more than I intended and got excited when I saw a swede for sale. I also took a stroll into Safa Park for the days photo prompt. The afternoon dragged, on and on and on..............

The phone rang at midnight on Wednesday, no one ever rings the landline, in fact the last time it rang was back in October to say my Uncle had died. My dad had to go into hospital after the results for his latest blood tests came back. Although alarming, there was no need for me to dash back to the UK, just yet.

Thursday and a quick tidy round and hoover, pet beds washed and the ironing done. I really must set myself a budget. I'd gone 'off list' but did complete everything I'd set out to do and a fair bit more.

Friday out into the desert again with Bob and Jelly. The rest of the day was spent watching Netflix and I made new cushions for the outside recliners.

On Saturday we went for coffee and cake and a stroll round City Walk, I took Bob to soft play, Peter had some work to do in the afternoon and I caught up with the soaps.

36/365 Really!

 37/365 0:800

 38/365 Child

 39/365 Landscape

 40/365 Colour

 41/365 Pretty

42/365 Cake

On the blog this week:

My Sunday Photo - T is for Tour Dubai

HDYGG - Making papyrus paper in Egypt

PoCoLo - Parenting Highlights, reflections on 25 years of parenting

Travel Experiences - Travel 'then and now'

Taking care of the future - Getting your affairs in order

The importance of papyrus paper in ancient Egypt and how it is made.

We came back from a visit to Luxor last week, the last time we were there was in 2008 we visited a papyrus factory. We didn't visit one on this trip as there are only so many pieces of decorated papyrus one can have. The picture below was actually brought back by my father in the late 70's/early 80's.

Papyrus was very important to the Egyptians and they modelled their columns in their temples on the plant.

This is the largest Hypostyle hall in the world, in Karnak Temple, consisting of 134 columns representing the papyrus flower. Built in1292 BCE by King Seti I and completed by his son Ramesses II in 1225 BCE.

The papyrus plant was grows due to the fertile soil and warm weather, making Egypt an ideal place for it to grow, along the banks of the nile and its many tributaries. 

The Cyperus papyrus paper is harvested, with the outer fibres peeled away and then the core of the stalk is sliced into very thin strips. The centre of the stalk provides the higher quality papyrus paper. The strips are then soaked for 3 days. Soaking the papyrus for up to 2 months and during for 6 months produces a much darker colour of papyrus. The quality of the paper was affected by the area it was grown, the time of year it was harvested and it's age. The finest paper was said to have come from the delta area, lower Egypt.

The papyrus is then rolled flat and to dry a little before being laid side by side, slightly over lapping and a 2nd set of papyrus strips are placed at right angles, again overlapping slightly.

It is then pounded and left to dry for about 6 days under a stone slab and once dry it is polished to a smooth finish by rubbing it with a shell or piece of smooth ivory.

The cheaper, more coarse papyrus was used by merchants as wrapping paper, and the finest used for religious or literary works.

Paper made from banana's is cheaper and an industries process using fibre from the banana plant, it can also be made using the same method as papyrus paper.

Meanwhile back in Dubai.

Rain and some snow in the mountains a 2 hour drive away.

Getting your affairs in order

I'm 46 this year and if I live as long as my Gran, Nan and other females in my family then I am half way through my life.

There is plenty of time ahead to get my affairs in order, life has only just started for me in reality, now the kids have left home, after started my family at 21.

Last year a friend of mine died, we were very close once, but a few years ago we just stopped being friends.

She was 49, she died of a heart attack, no indication of ill health, just went to bed one night and wasn't alive in the morning.

I think about her often, our kids were a similar age and I think about the chaos she must have left behind for her loved ones to deal with on top of her unexpected death.

My Gran was admitted to hospital on the day of her 92nd birthday, she died 4 weeks later. About 2 weeks before she died she asked if she could go home for a couple of hours 'to put her affairs in order'

It saddens me that she was too ill to go home, at 92 she knew death was not far away, despite actually being well for a 92 year old and her affairs were in order, but I suspect what my Gran meant was to throw out of date food out the fridge, make sure all the washing and ironing was done and probably run the hoover round.

We received one of those phone calls last night at 4 minutes past midnight. it could only be bad news, it was, the last time our landline rang was in October to say my uncle died.

It's not the type of news I need to rush back for the UK for, although I'm sure that day isn't too far away, but it made Peter and I talk about 'getting our affairs in order'

We have sorted, wills, the pensions, investments etc. That's all in order, but it's the little things we need to sort, to minimise the impact one of us dying unexpectedly would have on each other and the kids.

We have no preference for funeral plans, other than to be cremated, (which is mentioned in our will) we've decided that the details are for the living, their choice of songs, the where and the when.

So this weekend we shall be putting our affairs in order as such:

• passwords for our phones and laptops
• sign in details for bank accounts, insurances
• social media account details
• locate the spare car keys 
• label documents in files with a list of policy and phone numbers and expiry dates
• write a list of which child/family member/friend gets things such as jewellery 
• update address books and calendars with numbers and birthdays
• back up photos and other documents

I'm sure we'll think of other things when we start.

What else would you add to the list to minimise the impact of your departure to your loved ones?