Thursday 9 February 2017

Getting your affairs in order

I'm 46 this year and if I live as long as my Gran, Nan and other females in my family then I am half way through my life.

There is plenty of time ahead to get my affairs in order, life has only just started for me in reality, now the kids have left home, after started my family at 21.

Last year a friend of mine died, we were very close once, but a few years ago we just stopped being friends.

She was 49, she died of a heart attack, no indication of ill health, just went to bed one night and wasn't alive in the morning.

I think about her often, our kids were a similar age and I think about the chaos she must have left behind for her loved ones to deal with on top of her unexpected death.

My Gran was admitted to hospital on the day of her 92nd birthday, she died 4 weeks later. About 2 weeks before she died she asked if she could go home for a couple of hours 'to put her affairs in order'

It saddens me that she was too ill to go home, at 92 she knew death was not far away, despite actually being well for a 92 year old and her affairs were in order, but I suspect what my Gran meant was to throw out of date food out the fridge, make sure all the washing and ironing was done and probably run the hoover round.

We received one of those phone calls last night at 4 minutes past midnight. it could only be bad news, it was, the last time our landline rang was in October to say my uncle died.

It's not the type of news I need to rush back for the UK for, although I'm sure that day isn't too far away, but it made Peter and I talk about 'getting our affairs in order'

We have sorted, wills, the pensions, investments etc. That's all in order, but it's the little things we need to sort, to minimise the impact one of us dying unexpectedly would have on each other and the kids.

We have no preference for funeral plans, other than to be cremated, (which is mentioned in our will) we've decided that the details are for the living, their choice of songs, the where and the when.

So this weekend we shall be putting our affairs in order as such:

  • passwords for our phones and laptops
  • sign in details for bank accounts, insurances
  • social media account details
  • locate the spare car keys 
  • label documents in files with a list of policy and phone numbers and expiry dates
  • write a list of which child/family member/friend gets things such as jewellery 
  • update address books and calendars with numbers and birthdays
  • back up photos and other documents
I'm sure we'll think of other things when we start.

What else would you add to the list to minimise the impact of your departure to your loved ones?


  1. Even though I'm 'only' 29, I have all of this in order already, I was quite strict with my parents when I moved to Dubai and sat them down and told them everything. For years I've had letters, in case some accident was to happen to me. There are letters for everyone who means something in my life, regularly updated as time has gone by. There is also a main letter detailing my funeral wishes. Unfortunately not much of a will yet as I own nothing of any actual value!

    1. my only worry is if something happens to both of us while we're out in Dubai, want to make sure the kids don't have to worry about all the other stuff