When my dad died earlier this year my mum had to transfer everything into her name, close accounts and set up new insurance policies. She had to do almost everything over the phone or online.
My mum is 73, she has a hearing problem, she struggles on the phone and only has access to the internet on her mobile phone and in all honesty, as much as she's savvy with face book and skype, setting up accounts such as online banking and using emails is a bit of a challenge.
Everything required an initial phone call.
Press button 1 for
Say your reason for the call after the tone
Did you say xxxxxx?
Each time I had to say I was calling to report my father was deceased was bloody difficult, I'd then have to explain that my mum struggled to hear over the phone and was told I could do everything online. But 9/10 times there were other questions to be asked such as how do we transfer Dad's car to mums name when he was unable to sign the form. Arrrhhh we write deceased in the box and mum signs as normal. Enclose the death certificate or read the number over the line. Mum has to confirm her name, address and date of birth and that she is happy for me to deal with the issue on her behalf, but that permission is only valid for the duration of the call. Paperwork received in post addressed to my dad, thanking him for informing them of his death. Give me strength, more calls, more permission needed to be given.
We finally resolved this issue by buying mum some new phones, she was then able to make the calls herself.
Some companies would deal with me directly, some tried their best to make me go online, the banks were the easiest to deal with, we popped in, they made an appointment and told mum what she needed to bring and dealt with everything in a side room, giving us privacy, access to a phone and support and guidance.
It took 8 weeks after my dad died to get everything sorted, the pensions are now being paid into a bank account, the new direct debit payments have been set up, Dad's car sold and insurance cancelled at no additional charge (which was an added bonus) his name has been removed from all the utility bills etc, the house was on the market, the garage and attic emptied and most of his stuff has been sold.
We've managed it all without using the internet to get things done. Obviously I've been googling the arse off everything before we've done anything, making sure we've covered all basis, but mum needed to be able to hear/see what I was doing so she could deal with things in the future herself and not have to keep on relying me to do things for her.
We hit a barrier last week when I had to return to Dubai and an influx of paperwork arrived for Mum to fill in, in regards to selling her house and the purchase of her new flat. We did have to eventually rely on the internet. There was no other way of doing it. I'd scanned all mums documents before I left and the solicitors were able to send everything to me electronically to save Mum having to photograph every letter and send it to me via facebook, but we hit a high hurdle, when it came to me relaying the information back to the UK on what to fill in as mum's phone wouldn't play ball and she was struggling to read the print on the small screen. It also didn't help by the fact the company who built the property she was purchasing were phoning her up saying they'd been in touch with her solicitor, could you hurry up with the forms and then endless letters from the purchaser solicitors asking questions about building and planning permission for her current property that she'd purchased with my dad in 2001.
I completed forms, took a photo and sent it back to her, I made endless and very expensive phone calls back to the UK, there was confusion, missing forms, information my mum was unable to find, but in the end we got there and all the paperwork was sent off over the weekend. Any further paperwork will be sent back and forth via the teen who will then print it out for my mum to copy, to save her the stress.
When Mum moves she will have access to the internet, she has a new laptop which currently has only her photos on it and she will hold out as long as possible from having to go online to get things done. There's a whole generation of people out there who don't want to use the internet and companies need to take this into consideration and stop assuming it will make everyones life easier, it doesn't. Half the time to a lot of people it just causes more stress.
I really do dread to think what happens to people who don't have family around to support them during difficult times. They say the 5 most stressful things in life to deal with are Death, Divorce, Moving, Major Illness and Job Loss. They take over your life and require endless filling in of paperwork and tight deadlines in which to complete, all of which is overwhelming on top of the situation you are facing.
Do you find you have to do everything online these days? Do you prefer it or would you rather go back to receiving paperwork and being able to pop into the office to speak to someone face to face rather than getting put on hold to call centres?
Showing posts with label internet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label internet. Show all posts
Tuesday, 31 October 2017
Monday, 13 February 2017
You don't need to entertain children 24/7
Back from a recent trip to Egypt, the one thing that struck me the most was the number of children playing.
Playing by themselves, without any electronic items in sight anywhere.
This may have something to do with the lack of and poor wifi in Luxor, or the effects of the revolution in 2010, in terms of income, it might have something to do with the weather being good most of the year and the big open spaces, either way it reminded me of the differences between when I raised my kids in the 90's and the way other people raise their kids today.
In the UK and here in Dubai I see children all the time with iPads and mobile phones. Sitting in the trolley playing a game going round the supermarket, in restaurants, coffee shops and in their pushchairs. Nearly every single person I know has at least one gadget available for their child's use and in many cases I know of people who have bought a 2nd iPad for the 2nd child so they don't fight over it. Most families own game consoles and children as young as 8 have their own mobile phones with access to the internet and in many cases even social media accounts.
As a mum now to 5 adults (almost, the last one turns 18 in April) I'm totally amazed and quite often stunned that (some) parents feel the need to have to entertain their children 24/7 and that (some) children without electronic devices can't seem to entertain themselves these days. With many parents quoting 'but we only have educational apps on them' Of course the child is going to complain when their 'screen time' is limited or interrupted, but they'll get used to it, over time, you'll just have to actually parent them for a little bit and teach them/show them how to behave without a hand held gadget.
I didn't own a mobile phone until I was 28 in 1999, that was also the year we purchased a computer and connected it to the internet at dial up speed. Up until that point I'd had a ZX Spectrum and a hand held packman and a walkman. My kids had various construction toys, toys for the garden and very few toys that required batteries, due to the expense. Toys were bought and sold at car boot sales, saved up for, for christmas and birthdays and borrowed from local toy libraries. We didn't have sky TV, but we did have a video player and borrowed and lent from family and friends.
Weekends and evenings were spent with friends, playing in the garden, with family and out in the street. The kids played unsupervised in the garden while I got on with household chores or played over the park with the neighbours kids, with at least one or two older children supervising or us parents with a flask of tea. Trips to the supermarket were done on the weekends and I usually had at least one child in tow whenever I had a doctors or dental appointment.
Holidays were 1 week a year camping and the occasional trip to the seaside, if the weather was nice. Trips to theme parks were reserved for birthday treats and school trips were local and only for the day.
When ever we went anywhere with the kids they packed themselves a small bag of toys and we added snacks, crayons and a colouring book. These bits and pieces would entertain them for hours on long car journeys, at the doctors or dentists, round the supermarket in the trolley, in their pushchair as we walked round town. We never took the kids for meals out, we didn't even have a McDonalds near us until we moved to Malvern in 2002.
My kids went through their entire primary school years without a mobile phone, none of their friends had one either, without TV's in their bedrooms and without demands for me to entertain them 24/7.
We didn't have the money, several of these years were spent as a single mum, there wasn't the number of gadgets around then as there is today.
We asked our family to club together for a DVD player for Christmas one year, for long car journeys in the mid 2000's that just ended up causing arguments and fights about who wanted to watch what. Eventually the kids had TVs in their bedrooms once they were over 14, they had mobile phones around the same age, but then there was no internet and few were capable of taking photo's. Then there were laptops when they went onto college or 6th form.
Don't get me wrong my kids were still little shits from time to time, or even most of the time. I couldn't blame it on technology, just 4 brothers, fighting to be the alpha male, bored with each others choice of activity but I did see a huge change in their behaviour, attitude and response to me and other adults once they did get access to game boys and TV's.
There's nothing wrong with having bored children, when I told my mum I was bored she'd find me some household chores to do, I soon decided I wasn't that bored and managed to entertain myself.
As an adult I probably spend way too much time on my laptop, phone and plonked in front of the TV, but as I'm an adult with no kids to parent and no job to go to, I can choose how to spend my time online, once I only do after I've done all the things I should be doing including going for a walk and cycling most days.
There's nothing wrong with having bored children, when I told my mum I was bored she'd find me some household chores to do, I soon decided I wasn't that bored and managed to entertain myself.
As an adult I probably spend way too much time on my laptop, phone and plonked in front of the TV, but as I'm an adult with no kids to parent and no job to go to, I can choose how to spend my time online, once I only do after I've done all the things I should be doing including going for a walk and cycling most days.
Monday, 28 May 2012
How to...transfer your telkom account
I was advised to submit the forms for transfer at least a month in advance.
The agency we employed contacted me around 10 days prior to the move to say they'd help, but as is the way here (based on experience) if you want anything done, you do it yourself.
This particular bill is in my name, don't ask it was a painful experience trying to get it put in the name of someone who is only here on a visitors visa, but it was finally agreed after setting up hubbies bank account for payments (which by the way, I pay on my card, monthly at the post office) I need proof of residency.
So I explain what is happening and lo and behold, she helps me fill the form in, tells me I need the stand number of the house, they take a copy of my ID and off I go.
2 weeks later I get a call from the gate house to say Telkom are here to put in the new line.....hang on I'm not in the new house till June 1st. That's ok they say, we'll come back.
1 week later they are back....noooooo...I'm still not in the house. it's ok they'll come back again on June 1st.
So far this sounds reasonable, but I wasn't holding my breath...until...
June 1st, moving day 'this is telkom we are at the main gate can you authorise our entry'
30 minutes later...ta dah...we have phone and internet.
18 days later we have no phone or internet. I'm in the UK, hubby can't ring out to report a fault, so I tweet my number to a guy in South Africa to report the fault because I'm on a UK IP address and can't access all the facilities of the Telkom website.
3 days later, hubby finds out why we've been cut off. We've exceeded our credit limit, so he pays R300 and phone/internet reinstalled.
Apparently we'd exceeded our limit from the costs invlolved of transfering the ADSL .
Why didn't anyone tell me this?
I didn't ask, that's why
The agency we employed contacted me around 10 days prior to the move to say they'd help, but as is the way here (based on experience) if you want anything done, you do it yourself.
This particular bill is in my name, don't ask it was a painful experience trying to get it put in the name of someone who is only here on a visitors visa, but it was finally agreed after setting up hubbies bank account for payments (which by the way, I pay on my card, monthly at the post office) I need proof of residency.
So I explain what is happening and lo and behold, she helps me fill the form in, tells me I need the stand number of the house, they take a copy of my ID and off I go.
2 weeks later I get a call from the gate house to say Telkom are here to put in the new line.....hang on I'm not in the new house till June 1st. That's ok they say, we'll come back.
1 week later they are back....noooooo...I'm still not in the house. it's ok they'll come back again on June 1st.
So far this sounds reasonable, but I wasn't holding my breath...until...
June 1st, moving day 'this is telkom we are at the main gate can you authorise our entry'
30 minutes later...ta dah...we have phone and internet.
18 days later we have no phone or internet. I'm in the UK, hubby can't ring out to report a fault, so I tweet my number to a guy in South Africa to report the fault because I'm on a UK IP address and can't access all the facilities of the Telkom website.
3 days later, hubby finds out why we've been cut off. We've exceeded our credit limit, so he pays R300 and phone/internet reinstalled.
Apparently we'd exceeded our limit from the costs invlolved of transfering the ADSL .
Why didn't anyone tell me this?
I didn't ask, that's why
Sunday, 4 March 2012
How do you handle teenagers and technology.
My last child, my baby, turns into a teenager next month and for 3 weeks I will be the proud owner of 3 teenagers. Thank fully they won't all be in the house at the same time as my 19yo lives in the UK and arrives for a 2 week visit on May 2nd having turned 20 during his flight here.
This will be the 5th time for that 'Kevin and Perry' moment in our household (I have 2 step children, both in their 20's now)
I don't actually recall it being 'that' bad as dealing with 5 kids with varying needs, interferance from ex partners and several sets of grandparents, I'm not sure any more if my children became teens over night, if it just creeped up on us all.
My step daughter is profoundly disabled so her milestones hasn't follwed the normal routine. Her milestones were walking aged 8 and her ability to sit in a cafe without grabbing food off our plates.
So what makes teenagers so difficult to manage/control? Is it just their hormones? Is it because there are 5 of them and they're constantly fighting for attention? Or is it peer pressure?
No, No, No, No, No. I won't have any of that used as an excuse. I blame one thing and one thing only, TECHBLOODYNOLOGY.
Television
We have 3 televisions in our house. The main one in the lounge with DSTV/SKY which you can record on and pause live TV. There's a TV in the kids lounge with the same channels, but no recording facilities and no HD and a portable one in the conservatory which I usually watch DVDs on (we used to have it in our bedroom, but it drove me mad with hubby finding things to watch, falling asleep and leaving me wide awake looking for the remote to switch it off)
Our 4 boys have never had TVs in their bedrooms, I've never agreed with it, watching TV to fall asleep with actually in my opinion makes them stay up later, they can access adult channels, even on the old terristeral system and it just causes too many arguments (there's one going on right now about watching the main TV as both HAVE to watch their programmes in HD)
Access to the internet.
We bought a 2nd hand desktop in 2000 with dial up internet, it wasn't that appealing to the kids, they were too young, there was no facebook, bebo etc so it was rarely used, more of a word processer for my studies and the occassional education game that failed to load.
In 2002 we got broadband and the trouble started...'I want a go, it's my turn' so along with the desktop I purchased a laptop so I could work in peace and the kids could play on the computer, which by now was really a gaming machine. Xbox, playstations arrived after the hand held consoles had been purchased by ex partners and grand parents which hubby and I objected to due to the arguments caused among the boys and missing games and chargers that were borrowed and not replaced.
The eldest child now 22 didn't own a laptop until he left home aged 18, which he bought himself, the next child nearly 20, bought himself a laptop whilst he was still living at home with his christmas money, the one now aged 17 had a desktop for his 16th after saving his birthday and christmas money and the now 12 yo owns 4 laptops, yes 4...his older brothers have donated theirs to him as they've replaced and upgraded them and the child is a bloody genius, he's taken them apart and rebuilt 1 thats works 100% and has far greater capabilities than anything we own.
Mobile phones
The biggest bone of contention in our house, ever.
Eldest was bought one by his mother so she could keep in touch with him i.e. tell tales on the family of ear wigged conversations to throw back at us in court. It was removed from his possession and anyway he kept losing it, rarely took it with him and it was rarely charged. He was 11 and no way does an 11yo NEED a mobile phone. He then got himself another one aged 15, lost it, another, another, another and now aged 22 he doesn't own one he CBA.
Next had one aged 15 on contract (his dad pays it) I objected but then what rights do I have?
Next one had an old phone aged 15 as he was always out at sports matches, needing picking up at different times, using public transport on his own to travel to training session by train in Birmingham and having to catch several buses and walking a mile so it was decided a mobile phone WAS a necessity. When we moved to South Africa we couldn't get SIM cards so for a year there weren't mobile phones, I managed to get a PAYG and hubby had a work phone and then finally after a few months we got 2 more SIM cards, fixed 2 old nokia phones and the 2 youngest were able to use them. They moaned about the phones being old and it was embarrassing they couldn't access facebook.
On their return to the UK in december one returned with a Blackberry the other with a Samsung.
Each child has complained that they didn't have x x x until they were much older. I remember complaining I had to wait till I was 14 to get my ears pierced yet my sister had hers done aged 11 and the same with going to youth club and coming home at 8pm. So I guess there's no real difference with how teenagers behave, I guess it's just about different things.
I think I've finally understood my mother who spent years listening to me complain 'it's not fair' and her reply of 'wait till you have children of your own' which has now become 'wait til you get grandchildren and you'll buy them the stuff you know their parents don't want them to have as a grandparent you only have the fun times'
So I'm just waiting now to 'lie in the bed' I've made for myself by backing down/giving in and letting them have more stuff (please note it's not us buying the stuff, we just provide the internet, which is regulary switched off as a punishment)
Their next quest is to get anything 'I' related and they now think they have a right to it all, because of the path technology has taken, but I'm standing firm. They both have a phone, xbox and Wii, access to the internet and constantly complain that I have an ipod, a Galaxy tab, a mobile and a laptop and 'it's not fair' but I'm the adult, I earned the money (well hubby does) and life isn't fair and as for their reaction? Is it because their teenagers? Is it because of peer pressure? or is it because I deny them their basic human rights to technology?
This will be the 5th time for that 'Kevin and Perry' moment in our household (I have 2 step children, both in their 20's now)
I don't actually recall it being 'that' bad as dealing with 5 kids with varying needs, interferance from ex partners and several sets of grandparents, I'm not sure any more if my children became teens over night, if it just creeped up on us all.
My step daughter is profoundly disabled so her milestones hasn't follwed the normal routine. Her milestones were walking aged 8 and her ability to sit in a cafe without grabbing food off our plates.
So what makes teenagers so difficult to manage/control? Is it just their hormones? Is it because there are 5 of them and they're constantly fighting for attention? Or is it peer pressure?
No, No, No, No, No. I won't have any of that used as an excuse. I blame one thing and one thing only, TECHBLOODYNOLOGY.
Television
We have 3 televisions in our house. The main one in the lounge with DSTV/SKY which you can record on and pause live TV. There's a TV in the kids lounge with the same channels, but no recording facilities and no HD and a portable one in the conservatory which I usually watch DVDs on (we used to have it in our bedroom, but it drove me mad with hubby finding things to watch, falling asleep and leaving me wide awake looking for the remote to switch it off)
Our 4 boys have never had TVs in their bedrooms, I've never agreed with it, watching TV to fall asleep with actually in my opinion makes them stay up later, they can access adult channels, even on the old terristeral system and it just causes too many arguments (there's one going on right now about watching the main TV as both HAVE to watch their programmes in HD)
Access to the internet.
We bought a 2nd hand desktop in 2000 with dial up internet, it wasn't that appealing to the kids, they were too young, there was no facebook, bebo etc so it was rarely used, more of a word processer for my studies and the occassional education game that failed to load.
In 2002 we got broadband and the trouble started...'I want a go, it's my turn' so along with the desktop I purchased a laptop so I could work in peace and the kids could play on the computer, which by now was really a gaming machine. Xbox, playstations arrived after the hand held consoles had been purchased by ex partners and grand parents which hubby and I objected to due to the arguments caused among the boys and missing games and chargers that were borrowed and not replaced.
The eldest child now 22 didn't own a laptop until he left home aged 18, which he bought himself, the next child nearly 20, bought himself a laptop whilst he was still living at home with his christmas money, the one now aged 17 had a desktop for his 16th after saving his birthday and christmas money and the now 12 yo owns 4 laptops, yes 4...his older brothers have donated theirs to him as they've replaced and upgraded them and the child is a bloody genius, he's taken them apart and rebuilt 1 thats works 100% and has far greater capabilities than anything we own.
Mobile phones
The biggest bone of contention in our house, ever.
Eldest was bought one by his mother so she could keep in touch with him i.e. tell tales on the family of ear wigged conversations to throw back at us in court. It was removed from his possession and anyway he kept losing it, rarely took it with him and it was rarely charged. He was 11 and no way does an 11yo NEED a mobile phone. He then got himself another one aged 15, lost it, another, another, another and now aged 22 he doesn't own one he CBA.
Next had one aged 15 on contract (his dad pays it) I objected but then what rights do I have?
Next one had an old phone aged 15 as he was always out at sports matches, needing picking up at different times, using public transport on his own to travel to training session by train in Birmingham and having to catch several buses and walking a mile so it was decided a mobile phone WAS a necessity. When we moved to South Africa we couldn't get SIM cards so for a year there weren't mobile phones, I managed to get a PAYG and hubby had a work phone and then finally after a few months we got 2 more SIM cards, fixed 2 old nokia phones and the 2 youngest were able to use them. They moaned about the phones being old and it was embarrassing they couldn't access facebook.
On their return to the UK in december one returned with a Blackberry the other with a Samsung.
Each child has complained that they didn't have x x x until they were much older. I remember complaining I had to wait till I was 14 to get my ears pierced yet my sister had hers done aged 11 and the same with going to youth club and coming home at 8pm. So I guess there's no real difference with how teenagers behave, I guess it's just about different things.
I think I've finally understood my mother who spent years listening to me complain 'it's not fair' and her reply of 'wait till you have children of your own' which has now become 'wait til you get grandchildren and you'll buy them the stuff you know their parents don't want them to have as a grandparent you only have the fun times'
So I'm just waiting now to 'lie in the bed' I've made for myself by backing down/giving in and letting them have more stuff (please note it's not us buying the stuff, we just provide the internet, which is regulary switched off as a punishment)
Their next quest is to get anything 'I' related and they now think they have a right to it all, because of the path technology has taken, but I'm standing firm. They both have a phone, xbox and Wii, access to the internet and constantly complain that I have an ipod, a Galaxy tab, a mobile and a laptop and 'it's not fair' but I'm the adult, I earned the money (well hubby does) and life isn't fair and as for their reaction? Is it because their teenagers? Is it because of peer pressure? or is it because I deny them their basic human rights to technology?
Wednesday, 9 November 2011
I'm really grooving now
#groovingmums is the inspiration of @netcurtains over on Kateonthinice.This blog hop is in it's 7th week and there are a whole lot of people sharing their stories of why they need to get their groove back and what they are doing to find it.
Kate sets a task/challenge to do something new each week. I'm limited with my access to the interent and can't always complete the challenges.
This weeks challenges are Body art - do something different, paint your nails, get your hair done, wear make up and embrace your spiritual side. I'm also going to meet a previous challenge by the posting of the above picture.
I lost my groove 9 months ago when I left the UK with 2 of our children and my hubby to live in South Africa, it is challenging, it is lonely and it is my first experience of living abroad so I have nothing to compare it with. I have alot of spare time now, more time than I know what to do with myself since I gave up work and studies to move here. Most days I change the polish on my toe nails, file my finger nails, do my hair and apply make up. At first it was such a luxury to have the time to do all of this, but since joining the gym, I've given up with it now unless I'm going somewhere and letting my skin rest during the day when I'm at the gym or home. The picture above is just me, plain old me. I've never been too bothered if I've needed to pop to the shops or get out the car at school or even go to work without make up, but after all this time of applying it every morning it does feel a little strange to be bare faced again.
My spiritual side is a little more difficult to locate, I'm not a church goer any more. As a child I was sent to a Methodist church and I loved it, as a young adult I went to a baptist church as it was within walking distance of where I lived in the middle of nowhere and as a grown up Mother I attended a C of E church. Up until I met my husband 12 years ago, who as the Father of a disabled child, had experienced many comments from religious people how God had rewarded them with a perfect, healthy child as they were free from sin. I sort of lost faith after hearing that myself many times and I lapsed. I was however confirmed about 13 years ago and I do take communion and have been a witness at Adult and Child baptisims and 1st Communions. South Africa is a very religious country and as an inquisitive person I do ask people about their faith/retreats/religion.
Anyway, back to getting my groove back....by having a routine.
I'm timetabled, hubby did it....
he looked at what I needed to do for the week, bank, post office, driving licence and tyre pressure valve and using the family planner he jotted them down in no particular order and made sure I planned a trip to the gym every day for what has become my daily mile swim. I feel now I have a purpose to my day, he brings me a cup of tea in the morning, the kids get themselves ready for school, I chuck on some clothes over my swimming costume, clean my teeth and head out for my swim, I spend half hour in the sauna, I shower and if I don't look too haggard I leave the make up off, sit down for a latte in the cafe and use their computers for playing on the internet, a luxury we no longer have at home.
The best thing for me joining #groovingmums is I've found some great bloggers, I read a blog posting every day, have subscribed via email, where available, can't always comment, don't always want to and discovered a whole new group of people struggling/suceeding with daily life.
I was going to give up blogging, I cleared my timeline of sponsored bloggers, nearly did a Stephen Fry and jacked it all in, but instead got rid of tweeters that judged, that tried to offer guidance (often misjudged) on a variety of subjects such as co-sleeping, breast feeding etc, all stuff I'd out grown, with little knowledge or referencing. I want to hear how you actually over come a problem, I want to hear that I'm normal, not a super mummy, not a yummy mummy, although have been called a MILF before and was rather flattered.
I've now accepted a challenge from @netcurtains '10 things about me' which I'm off to do now.
Monday, 22 August 2011
Who's your support network?
When I had my kids I lived in a small village in the Forest of Dean in Gloucestershire. Ive just turned 40 and my kids are 19, 16 and 12...I also have 2 step kids aged 23 and 22.
At the time I'm talking about I only had two children they were newborn and aged 2, I moved away when they were 10 and 7 and had another child aged 2.
I joined a local playgroup, saw the health visitor at clinics on a regular basis, took turns to have friends round with their kids, went to play groups, met up for picnics in the parks, bike rides etc, the kids went to nursery, preschool and school together, with the same group of people for the 8 years...a few new people moved to the village and joined the same groups and a few moved away.
We all helped out at the school with fundraising and fetes, at church groups, cubs and brownies and the local football team.
Yes there was a clique, there was the one with the foul mouth, the one who let their kids run wild, the one that had an affair and split the village, the one that had a bit more spare cash than the rest of us and the odd falling out about who's child started it.
But on the whole it was good, I'd even been to school with 2 other parents in a different town, there were nights out, tears and endless babysitting.
We were all a similar age, from similar backgrouds and similar experiences. It wasn't idylic but it was fun.
Do you have this? This was 1995-2002, I didn't get a mobile phone or the internet till 2000.
I wish it was still like this, today when you have a baby you reach out to the internet for information and advice, breast feeding, what age to leave your kids alone or let them out in the street...
...but when you get your response from 100's of people and experts does it make you feel good, does it make you feel as if you're doing it all wrong or does it help justify your parenting skills?
Remember when you use the internet, twitter, facebook or google you're reaching a much wider audience, you're recieving advice from people that haven't had kids, people from completly different social and financial backgrounds, different ages, countries, experiences.
It doesn't mean that they're right and you're wrong.
At the time I'm talking about I only had two children they were newborn and aged 2, I moved away when they were 10 and 7 and had another child aged 2.
I joined a local playgroup, saw the health visitor at clinics on a regular basis, took turns to have friends round with their kids, went to play groups, met up for picnics in the parks, bike rides etc, the kids went to nursery, preschool and school together, with the same group of people for the 8 years...a few new people moved to the village and joined the same groups and a few moved away.
We all helped out at the school with fundraising and fetes, at church groups, cubs and brownies and the local football team.
Yes there was a clique, there was the one with the foul mouth, the one who let their kids run wild, the one that had an affair and split the village, the one that had a bit more spare cash than the rest of us and the odd falling out about who's child started it.
But on the whole it was good, I'd even been to school with 2 other parents in a different town, there were nights out, tears and endless babysitting.
We were all a similar age, from similar backgrouds and similar experiences. It wasn't idylic but it was fun.
Do you have this? This was 1995-2002, I didn't get a mobile phone or the internet till 2000.
I wish it was still like this, today when you have a baby you reach out to the internet for information and advice, breast feeding, what age to leave your kids alone or let them out in the street...
...but when you get your response from 100's of people and experts does it make you feel good, does it make you feel as if you're doing it all wrong or does it help justify your parenting skills?
Remember when you use the internet, twitter, facebook or google you're reaching a much wider audience, you're recieving advice from people that haven't had kids, people from completly different social and financial backgrounds, different ages, countries, experiences.
It doesn't mean that they're right and you're wrong.
Sunday, 14 August 2011
Internet Porn
If I want to see your bits, then I'll ask....I'll google, I'll buy a magazine...
but I do not want to see them on here. I'm not a prude...I just don't do porn...I don't even own a vibrator.
If I was walking down the street and someone flashed their bits at me, I'd call the police (once I'd finished laughing), next person down the street could be a child.
I'd be asked for a statement, I'd give a description of the person (not their bits)
Hopefully they'd be arrested, if caught, and charged.
So why is it different if someone flashes me on twitter, posting pictures in their timeline or even with an @ to me?
Go find yourself a forum where people request to see your bits, when they have sought out this type of activity...
...and stop 'shoving'* it down my throat...
*pun intended
but I do not want to see them on here. I'm not a prude...I just don't do porn...I don't even own a vibrator.
If I was walking down the street and someone flashed their bits at me, I'd call the police (once I'd finished laughing), next person down the street could be a child.
I'd be asked for a statement, I'd give a description of the person (not their bits)
Hopefully they'd be arrested, if caught, and charged.
So why is it different if someone flashes me on twitter, posting pictures in their timeline or even with an @ to me?
Go find yourself a forum where people request to see your bits, when they have sought out this type of activity...
...and stop 'shoving'* it down my throat...
*pun intended
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