The Wedding series - tips

This year we've had 2 weddings, child 2 and 2a in June, best friends in July and our niece is getting married in October. I've also been helping with the planning of child 4 and 4a's wedding next September.

L-R Mother in Law, Child 4 & 4a, Peter, Child 2a & 2, Me, Child 1, Child 5, Mum.

Child 3 & 3a were unable to make it over from Australia.

Weddings are BLOODY expensive. There are ways though to keep the costs down. As a guest the cost mounts up, especially for Peter and I, before we even buy our outfit and a gift we have to book flights from where we live in Dubai. However, we had a very small wedding at a registry office, I wore a prom dress to get married in, bought in the sales in Vegas, Peter needed a new suit for work anyway, we had a 3 night for the price of 2 hotel deal in Chester, no reception, no photographer and no cake, although 3 sets of friends turned up to surprise us and we had a meal afterwards in an Italian restaurant on the way back to the car park.

There are so many new things to think about these days that we never had to worry about and the main one for me is that guests don't share photos online during the day and that they leave the Bride and Groom to post first a few days afterwards. It also makes for a nicer day if the wedding is social media free, the wedding photographer will certainly appreciate being able to take photo's freely without mobile phones blocking their view. There are so many new ways to share photo's in high resolution with the guests and I found an app that would allow photo's to be shared on app so family and friends who can't make the day can still share in the event. Child 3 and 3a were unable to travel over from Australia for Child 2 and 2a's wedding.

So after the initial shock of 2 of the children announcing they were getting married and a bank transfer made, it was time to find out if and what input we were to have. We're now someone's in laws and so far I think it's going reasonably well.

Both Peter and I are step parents to each others children. We needed to establish our roles as step parents at our children weddings. At child 2's wedding his mother wasn't invited so no worries about the top table, but child 4's father will be at his wedding but it is Peter who will sit at the top table with me. These are all issues that have to be resolved before the big day when it comes to family and the modern day dynamics.

Then of course there was the outfits. I can hardly wear the same dress at all 4 weddings? Well technically I could but as 3 of them are family do's, I really didn't want to appear in all the photos dressed the same. Living in Dubai there are some fantastic sales and I bought the outfit for the first 2 weddings in Debenhams. There isn't a lot of stuff available for the Mother of the Groom, everywhere focuses on the Mother of the Bride and I fall into 'occasional wear'

There's also the wedding gift to account for. When I asked the internet about what was a reasonable gift amount, it varied greatly.

Something I've noticed quite a lot is there often isn't a 'plus 1' on invites anymore. Usually the invitation is addressed to a couple, whether married or not. There have been quite a few single guests at both the weddings and at wedding number 2, I spent most of the day on my own as Peter was the Best Man, I searched to find out what my role as Wife of the Best Man was, but only came across the partners moaning about how they felt it unfair they sat on their own all day and in some cases turned the invite down, so I wrote about how single guests can feel more involved and not so isolated.

We've got one more wedding this year, the reception is being held in a barn in a field. I've selected my outfit based on the potential weather and it will look great with my bright yellow hunter wellies should it rain.

Next year's wedding is taking place under one roof and I can certainly see the advantages of doing this.

A couple of these posts contain sponsored content, but as I was already writing posts about the wedding and like I said with mounting costs, every penny helps, especially when there are 3 in 1 year.

The role of the Best Man's Wife at a wedding

My husband was Best Man at a wedding last month. Whilst researching his role, I noticed a lot of discussion from the partners of the Best Man, from tips on how to avoid feeling isolated to people actually saying they didn’t attend the wedding as they didn’t want to be on their own all day.

As close friends of the Bride and Groom and the Grooms family, I attended the wedding rehearsal, sat in the front row with the Groom’s mother, sat on a table with the Usher and his wife near the top table and the night before the wedding the Groom stayed with us over night.

We had a lovely day, met new people, met up with old friends, ate, drunk and were (very) merry.

I’m a social person, I love a chat and to meet new people. It doesn’t mean to say that there aren’t times when I feel isolated or lonely or even find the people I’m with hard work, there are always people I find hard work, but I’m good at spotting them early on and sticking with like minded people.

It got me thinking though about the people I came across online who felt isolated, knew no one or even stayed away from the wedding of their partners best mate.

I’ve been a plus one at many weddings, where my husband has known either the bride or groom and I’ve only known my husband. When I was a maid of honour at a friends wedding, my husband knew the bride, the groom and the brides family also, so his day rolled along the same lines as mine did when he was best man.

There are things you can do though to ensure you don't feel too isolated on the actual day.

• Suggest that you meet with the Bride and Groom for a meal a month or so before their big day. Difficult if you have to travel to the wedding, but you could take part in a Skype call.

• Ask your partner to have a word with the Bride and Groom about seating arrangements for the wedding reception. Can you be seated with people you know or paired up with another single guest?

• Offer to take on a role during the day; is there an elderly relative who might need some support?

• Accompany your partner to the wedding rehearsal, I made friends with the verger and met the Usher and his wife, the bridesmaid and her family, which meant there are people to talk to whilst waiting for the guests and bride to arrive and during the reception.

Do you have any suggestions on how not to feel isolated at a wedding where your partner plays a role in the ceremony? Do you do anything extra at your wedding to accommodate single guests?

Top Tips for Wedding planning and keeping costs down

As you are probably aware, I’ve had a busy and expensive year to date with weddings. Child 2 got married in June, my husband is best man at a wedding this Saturday, his niece is getting married in October and child 4 is getting married next September.

As a guest alone the costs are mounting. I can hardly wear the same dress to all 4 weddings can I? Other than a cash donation to child 2, we’ve not had any input with the other 2 weddings we’re attending this year, but we do know how much they’ve spent and the lengths they’ve gone to, to make sure everything is in place for their special day. 

We’ve also made a cash donation to child 4 and have already been involved in helping them to plan their special day. 

Peter and I eloped in 2002, we’d both been married before and had recently bought a new home for us and our 5 kids to live in and so we kept our wedding as simple and cheap as possible. I’m a believer in keeping things simple and costs down, but if you do want the full wedding experience there are plenty of ways to keep the costs down.

The confetti shop offers a wide range of ideas to plan your big day, choose by theme, colour or season. This is a great idea for weddings that are in the planning for 12 months or more; you can see the current and predicted trends, help inform your colour scheme and more importantly give you an idea of the costs involved from save the date cards, invites, table decorations, wedding favours to planning the hen night and stag do. 

With child 4s wedding there are a lot of people involved in the planning, we have a face book group message titled ‘Wedding’ where we can pop suggestions on anything that we come across from web searches and attending other peoples weddings. 

My top 6 tips:

Invitations -  Can you do save the date and invitations online? Only printing out a handful of cards for those not on social media. It will also reduce the amount of stress chasing up replies.

Photography – Disposable cameras on tables for guests to snap away more personal shots, especially for the evening do after the photographer has captured the first dance and departed.

Bridal Party Gifts – If you’re giving your best man cuff links as a thank you gift, then give them to him in the morning so at least he’ll get some wear out of them. Personalise gifts for the bridesmaids and groomsman; consider something they can actually use. 

Wedding favours – Consider making a charity donation. Purchase a charity pin or band for each guest on the table.

Hen and Stag do’s – Do you really need to go abroad for a week before the wedding? A meal in a local restaurant or even a party at home, this way you can accommodate all budgets and invite all ages.

Food – Not for the reception but between the wedding and the meal. It’s common now for the bride and groom to spend up to 90 minutes having photo’s taken, guests can often be left hanging around, they will be catered for but if you’re part of the wedding party you may not get a chance to eat or drink from breakfast time till 4pm. I always pack drinks and snacks in a small cool bag to hand out to keep us going through the day.

This post is in collaboration with the Confetti Shop.