Monday 20 August 2018

The role of the Best Man's Wife at a wedding

My husband was Best Man at a wedding last month. Whilst researching his role, I noticed a lot of discussion from the partners of the Best Man, from tips on how to avoid feeling isolated to people actually saying they didn’t attend the wedding as they didn’t want to be on their own all day.

As close friends of the Bride and Groom and the Grooms family, I attended the wedding rehearsal, sat in the front row with the Groom’s mother, sat on a table with the Usher and his wife near the top table and the night before the wedding the Groom stayed with us over night.

We had a lovely day, met new people, met up with old friends, ate, drunk and were (very) merry.

I’m a social person, I love a chat and to meet new people. It doesn’t mean to say that there aren’t times when I feel isolated or lonely or even find the people I’m with hard work, there are always people I find hard work, but I’m good at spotting them early on and sticking with like minded people.

It got me thinking though about the people I came across online who felt isolated, knew no one or even stayed away from the wedding of their partners best mate.

I’ve been a plus one at many weddings, where my husband has known either the bride or groom and I’ve only known my husband. When I was a maid of honour at a friends wedding, my husband knew the bride, the groom and the brides family also, so his day rolled along the same lines as mine did when he was best man.

There are things you can do though to ensure you don't feel too isolated on the actual day.

  • Suggest that you meet with the Bride and Groom for a meal a month or so before their big day. Difficult if you have to travel to the wedding, but you could take part in a Skype call.
  • Ask your partner to have a word with the Bride and Groom about seating arrangements for the wedding reception. Can you be seated with people you know or paired up with another single guest?
  • Offer to take on a role during the day; is there an elderly relative who might need some support?
  • Accompany your partner to the wedding rehearsal, I made friends with the verger and met the Usher and his wife, the bridesmaid and her family, which meant there are people to talk to whilst waiting for the guests and bride to arrive and during the reception.
Do you have any suggestions on how not to feel isolated at a wedding where your partner plays a role in the ceremony? Do you do anything extra at your wedding to accommodate single guests?


  1. Going to the rehearsal is a good idea and if you're not dealing with a bridezilla sounds like a nice way to touch base with people who will be at the wedding.

  2. Hi Suzanne, you've certainly had your fair share of wedding this year! I've not been to many weddings apart from for work and it never occurred to me that the partners of people with roles on the day would feel left out. It does make sense to go to the rehearsal dinner as that would be a perfect time to briefly meet people.

    Thank you for stopping by and linking up with #keepingitreal.


    1. 3 weddings and 3 funerals, i think there is a movie title in there somewhere