Week 19 One Daily Positive, Project 366 and SnapHappyBritMums

What can I say about this week? Bob is ill, Peter has been away, work has been ok this week, so that's a positive. The weather is too hot, I've woken up at the end of the week with what appears to be the flu and next week isn't looking any different other than Peter isn't away, but he's working late every evening. I really should just 'snap out of it' and accept my lot in life, I've a trip to the UK coming soon, reduced working hours during Ramadan, money in the bank, my health (apart from the flu) a loving husband and a wonderful family that live 3000 miles and a 7 hour flight away. I won't get to see child 4 of 5 on the UK trip as he'll be in the Falklands.

On the blog this week:
#MySundayPhoto Bob
#AnimalTales It's all about the cat
#HDYGG Township Gardening in South Africa
#PoCoLo Positives about expat life
#Photalife Dog walking in the desert

Sunday Day 129 ‪#‎onedailypositive‬ ‪#‎project366‬ ‪#‎WhatMakesMeSmile‬ ‪#‎May ‬‪#‎snaphappybritmums‬ Bob has made me smile this evening. His‪#‎ConeOfShame‬ is secured with his collar, so when I clipped his lead on to take him for a walk tonight he couldn't see where he was going as it lifted his head up. But his tail is still wagging, he's eating and peeing and trying to follow me round the house stopping to stare at the walls he bumps into until I move him along.

Monday Day 130 #onedailypositive #project366 #Blue #May#snaphappybritmums it's been cloudy in Dubai today, no sign of the usual blue skies, but I'm grateful for the respite. Yesterday the temp in my car after work at 3.30pm was 47c, on my arrival home the air con was on full blast set at max 30c. In the UK today people are complaining about it being 26c, our minimum temps in #Dubai are higher than that. I guess it's all relative, was just a welcome break from the direct sunlight today.

Tuesday Day 131 #onedailypositive #project366 #father #May#snaphappybritmums my dads Father's Day gifts and card were sent back to the UK in January with one of the kids. When you live abroad you really do have to plan that far in advance, shame, the kids won't think that far ahead, but it's ok, we still love them.

Wednesday Day 132 #onedailypositive #project366 #symmetry #may #snaphappybritmums which ever way you look at it, it's the same. Work all day and work all evening. I really need to get on top of my game. Maybe I'm trying to hard, I'm only 2 weeks behind with evidencing the children's work and updating the tracking sheets, but it's too easy to fall behind and I don't do stress very well.

Thursday Day 133 #onedailypositive #project366 #flowers #may #snaphappybritmums it's the weekend in Dubai, I had my nails done and bought myself some flowers for the photo prompt, I was going to add it's been a long week, but every week feels like this now I'm back in work.

Friday Day 134 #onedailypositive #project366 #friends#may #snaphappybritmums we actually had a real person in our house yesterday, a colleagues of Peter's. Otherwise Peter and I are our own friends, with these two to keep us company and get us out the house.

Saturday Day 135 #onedailypositive #project366 #blog #may#snaphappybritmums I love my blog and social media name 'Chickenruby' it's about real life as an #expat #parenting #teens #specialneeds #charity #travel #education I'm not sponsored for my travel or to write any posts. I write about my experiences, adventures, thoughts and feelings. I try to inject a bit of humour into posts from time to time, I enjoy adding photos and I don't try to be or claim I'm anything else other than just a real person, living life day to day. I'm getting fed up with certain bloggers claiming to be experts in fields such as parenting and travel. How the hell does writing a sponsored post about an all inclusive, paid for holiday, give any advise to families traveling with children, or how does reviewing endless baby/kids stuff make one an expert on parenting? What these bloggers actually are, are walking bill boards. Advertising products that the average reader can't afford to buy, leaving some of them feeling inadequate and possibly getting into debt to provide these experiences and items for their children. Get real people please.

What's good about life?

'Oh Suzanne, you appear to be blowing your own trumpet here, loud and clear'

Well, yes i am.

This is a positive blog post, no references to anyone putting me down, to feeling that I don't fit in anywhere or have a purpose in life. no moaning about how other people make me feel, just about how I feel.

I'd love you all to join in with a positive post, I don't know how to do linky's, so please write your positive post, add the link in the comments or tweet, face book me with the link and I'll give you a shout out.

What am I grateful for?

My wonderful husband, we've been together 14 years and had some amazing experiences.

My handsome boys, eldest financially independent, living in his own flat with a good job and career prospects in the hotel trade.

My middle son for having done so much better at school than we could have possibly imagined and his future career in the armed forces.

My youngest son, again for doing so well at school and talented with computers and in photography.

I'm grateful for the opportunities we've had as a family, the travel, both holidays and living abroad with the 2 youngest. I'm grateful we've been able to afford boarding school for the youngest who battles with dyslexia and dysgraphia.

So what do I feel positive about?

The future, the opportunities yet to come, the chance to return to finish my 2nd degree in Criminology and Psychology. the chance to move to another country and experience life in another culture before returning to the UK and buying a cottage in the country to have chickens and for Bob to have open fields to run free in and for Pushkins, just to be a cat.
I feel positive about no longer being a full time mum, the ability to be able to travel and explore new places, to have time for hobbies, to soak in the bath, to have long lie ins. I'm ageing well, reasonably fit and of average weight for my height. I'm happy being me.

What am I good at?

Making friends, trying new experiences, charity work, honest blogging (no award winners here) networking, raising funds and awareness, sourcing donations, teaching, educating, keeping a clean and tidy house. Driving long distances, planning trips and activities, organising events. I've raised my children to be well balanced individuals who jump at the chance to experience new things, are capable of travelling round the world on their own.

So over to you.......be positive.

Life is all about change

We know there will be changes to our lives, marriages, births, new job, new home and we plan with excitement, it also stresses us out a little, the fear of the unknown and the what ifs.

Sometimes changes can be small, others can be huge, some are done willingly, and some are forced upon us.

Change isn’t always positive, there could be a death in the family, loss of a job, a divorce.

Change doesn’t have to be negative or huge to cause a major impact on someone’s life, it can be as simple as an unexpected car repair or replacement of a stolen item, or even hidden costs that can cause a family to re think their budget for a few months and what seems like a major issue to you can be viewed as a minor one to others.

We all know people who have been through changes, we’ve all been through changes, it’s what life if all about, survival of the fittest. Some people appear to handle changes like a duck on water, all serene on top while paddling furiously underneath and we wonder how they manage it. Others just shut down, have a break down, ask for help or ignore the situation until it is forced upon them, such as house repossession or a court order and sometimes there is the element of surprise when someone dies and there are no set rules, other than maybe a will and a funeral.

For those who live their lives as expats there is always change on the horizon, for some they venture into an expat life excited with promises of a new life in a foreign country, a house to make into a home, schools, work, new salary. Some expats go with their eyes wide open, some go on a fixed contract, knowing the exact date they will leave, some will even know in advance where there next move will be. Others like us moved without knowing anything, other than where the children would be schooled and where hubby would work. We had no idea of how long we’d be expats for, where and when we would go next and for the past year we’ve lived with facing a new change of which we’ve had little control or say over.

We heard in January, there might be a move, it also coincided with another huge change in our lives and that was the last child leaving home and having to deal with empty nest syndrome. But we knew about that change, that’s what happens in life, you have kids, they grow up, and they leave home. We have 5 children between us; the hardest change was moving the eldest into residential care aged 12. We thought that as we dealt with that (some days we still feel the guilt) that the rest of the children leaving home we could deal with. But we didn’t anticipate that after the 2 oldest boys left home, that we would then be packing our bags and moving 6000 miles away from them, we didn’t anticipate the youngest, then aged 14, returning to the UK for boarding school and we didn’t anticipate how we would feel when the last child left home and also moved back to the UK.

We visit, they visit, but it’s not how we imagined it to be, wanted it to be or how we see our future relationships with our children living on different continents.

We are now in the planning stages of more change, we are moving, it looks like we’ll be gone by January 11^th 2015, almost 4 years to the day that we moved here, our visas expire and due to new changes in the law, hubbies visa renewal to work here may not be granted, which means we have to leave, it is an enforced move, one of which we have little or no control over.

When the kids left home, I threw myself into life here fully, I took up opportunities to travel and explore further a field, to really become hands on with my volunteer work, starting to look for funding for projects and carrying on with sourcing and distributing donations.

Now I’m in limbo, I don’t know where we are going, when we are going. I don’t know the timescale therefore I can’t do anything, there is a requirement for moving the animals, but where and when? Removal companies to quote, utilities to sort, notice on the rented house to give, contracts to end, a car to be sold, bank accounts to close. Can I work in our new country? Can I have my own bank account? Can I take out contracts such a phone in my own name?

I’ve moved many times, the move isn’t daunting me, it’s the fact it isn’t my choice and that I have no say over where and when.

Then there are the non-practical issues, the stuff no one can really help you with. The change of moving to a new country, without a job to go to, without children to settle, what will I do? How will I feel? How to make new friends? It’s not an easy job when you don’t have kids or work. Without friends how will I know where to go? Who to ask? How to do things? What about buying a car? Insurance? How do you know what’s the best thing to do in a new and unfamiliar country, with little or no support?

We moved within the UK, we moved within South Africa, once you know how things work, it’s relatively straight forward, but with a South African government, one never knows how things will work today compared to yesterday and with so many changes in the law that no one seems to know how the new laws will work, this is not a good change for me.

The only thing I do know is, is that I coped, I succeeded, I sorted, I battled without help and support, but I remember it was hard, it was frustrating, it took up whole days, weeks even. I didn’t like it, I didn’t do it willingly, I did it or it just wouldn’t have been done.

I’m daunted by the upcoming change, I’m frightened and I feel isolated and alone.

I’m not just dealing with a change in our lives again; I’m dealing with another change in my personal life, my identity and the unknown. I don’t know how I’ll cope, right now I don’t think I will cope.