Word of the week - Moving

I'm visiting my Son, DIL and two grandsons for the week.

They're moving house and I'm here along with the outlaws helping out with lifting, moving, cleaning and childcare.

It's been a little tense at times with 5 adults trying to make decisions and the occasional fighting over who is getting the grandchildren hugs lol.

I've been sleeping in my campervan on my son's drive for the first part of the week and for the rest of the week I'm on the outlaws drive.

I've moved a lot and I mean A LOT.

As a child I'd lived in 4 houses in 4 different parts of the UK by the time I was 10. 

Between the ages of 17 and 24 I lived in 4 different places within a 50 mile radius of home.

Since then I've had three homes in the UK and two in South Africa and two in Dubai, plus we've had temporary accommodation in between our international relocations, plus long hotel stays.

The longest I've ever lived in one house is 8 years, our current home, which we're back in for then second time and we've been here now for almost 6 years.

They're in a chain and today is the day we wait for the call to collect the keys. The van is being loaded the house is being cleaned and we'll be done by midday and then hanging around waiting for the call as the money is transfered down the line.

Moving Home in Dubai Part 3 - Moving Day

In preparation for moving home in Dubai, I did the following the day before the actual move:

Collected the keys

Coffee with a friend

Had a manicure and pedicure

Wrapped and packed ornaments

Packed valuables

Dug up plants from the garden

Took the cat to the vets

The day of the move I did the following:

Got up

Dressed

Collected all the dirty washing in the laundry basket

Dropped the dog in day care

Drove to the new house.

Peter stayed in the old house to supervise the packing, clean out the fridge, empty the bins etc.

I checked the water and electric was working and the air con etc was operational. We had to set up the DEWA (Dubai Electricity and Water Authority) account and provide proof of deposit prior to collecting the keys and I waited for the removal company to arrive, half an hour after I did with the first truck to instruct them where the furniture and boxes were to go.

After unloading 2 trucks, they took a break and returned to the old house. I unpacked and put away the kitchen, bathroom and bedroom and we were left with a pile of stuff that came from the outbuildings of the old house, tools, camping gear and garden equipment that now has to be stored inside the house until we get some outdoor storage.

Peter followed at 3pm, collecting the dog on his way with the last 2 trucks and by 3pm the furniture was unwrapped, beds reassembled, they remade the beds, the boxes were emptied and removed along with all the packaging.

We put blankets up at the windows for the first night and we were in our new home.

The next few days were spent rearranging some furniture in the rooms, a few purchases have to be made, a home for all the outdoor stuff was found, but needs to be tidied and quite a lot of stuff will be donated and thrown away. The removal firm did a great job of unpacking, reassembling and putting things back on the shelves, they took photos to help them. Sadly though, they don't dust, so everything had to be removed, cleaned and put back. They also don't set up equipment, so while it was great the office furniture was in place, we had to empty it, move it, put cables back and move the furniture back in place.

Curtain poles still need to go up and things have to be tidied, once that's all in place and Peter is back in work, I'll unpack the ornaments, give the house a good clean and by next weekend it'll all be done.

This is the 7th full move we've done as a family since 2002, 3 in the UK, 2 in South Africa and now 2 in Dubai. 4 of the moves were company moves and they were not easy to do, with the removal contract being with Peter's company so all questions and issues etc had to be made from me, to Peter, to HR to the removal firm and back again as rarely would anyone deal directly with me because 'Miss Suzanne, the contract is with your husband's company, not you' despite it being me who does all the organising, arranging and last minute problem solving when things inevitably go wrong when there are so many people involved in a chain.

This move however was easy, because there was no one to interfere. Even though the contracts had to be signed by Peter as he is the one with the work visa, therefore the one with the income, everyone from the agents, landlords, to DEWA were more than happy to deal with me directly as long as I had copies of the relevant documents and Peter's actual signature.

One Daily Positive Week 48

The week started and ended with me asking 'What day is it?'

Peter has had the week off work while we've moved house and with having been in the UK for 4 months and weekends in Dubai being on a Friday and Saturday and then UAE public holidays, I've had no idea what day it has been.

I've also been confused by the time difference which is now 4 hours and being that extra hour ahead now means that I'm not seeing things in family and friends timelines and when I post at midday, you're all just getting up in the UK. Whilst it's made contact with child 3 and 3a in Australia easier and child 4 is only up the road/country. It does mean emails and phone calls with the UK and responding to messages are done in the early evening, my time, when I'm ready to switch off, so I can get a response the same day.

The weather in Dubai is now on average a high of 28c with a gentle breeze, making it perfect for life outdoors for the next 4 months.

We've settled in well and quickly to the new house, but it's noisy here, there are kids, more traffic and more people to knock at the door to ask for work, we'll get used to it for sure.

330 Sunday Goals
Pre moving day and what else should I be doing today other than collecting the keys and giving the villa the once over, lunch with a friend and a manicure and pedicure in the afternoon. I packed the rest of the ornaments and with freshly painted nails dugs up the plants in the garden.

331 Monday Exercise
Dressed, breakfasted and ready to move at 8am. Dropped Bob at Day Care and went to the new house to wait for the first truck to arrive at 9am. Peter stayed at the old house to supervise while I stood on the door step and instructed the removal men which room they were to take each piece of furniture and box to. By 5pm they and all their boxes and packaging had gone, the kitchen and bedroom were sorted and we went to Macdonald's for tea.

332 Tuesday Sharp
The hall and laundry room was tided today as we are in serious need of having to wash some clothes. The day passed in a haze, coffee mid afternoon, boxes unpacked, stuff tripped over, furniture rearranged. Had an early night, but my brain was whirring and I was wide awake at 3am.

333 Wednesday Contemplate
Spent the day at the old house cleaning it from top to bottom, there will be some issue with the deposit, there always is. Anyway we know that the house was returned in a much better and cleaner condition than when we moved in. As landlords in the UK, we really do pay extra attention as tenants, yet we've been badly treated by both landlords and tenants in the past. Back in the new house the drain in the laundry room flooded, clothes now being held hostage in the machine until after the weekend. The garden was tided and outdoor furniture set up on the balconies.

334 Thursday Cold

Peter waited in for the Du TV/Internet/Phone company and I went to Ibn Battuta Mall to buy curtains for the bedroom and a few bits and bobs. Peter joined me and we had a late lunch, did a food shop and spent the evening setting up the TV upstairs and had an early night, after mopping up the main bathroom after another flood. Seriously, that's every drain blocked in this house.

335 Friday Wide Angle
Off to Ikea, hubby and I don't have a good track record there in regards to arguing, but we managed not only a trip round there, but a visit to the DIY shop and then put up curtain poles, hung curtains and assembled furniture and were still speaking at bedtime. More good news, tried the dishwasher, it didn't flood the kitchen.

336 Saturday Water. Blue Water and Dubai Marina on the horizon.
Woke with or rather didn't get much sleep with a migraine, I guess I've peaked and come back full circle to June this year when I had the last one that triggered off a health scare, who knows?
An easy day, sorted through my wardrobe and donated a lot of stuff I just don't wear, went out for coffee to Mall of the Emirates for the last of the curtains poles and a few other pieces we needed.

On the blog this week:

My Sunday Photo Y is for Yule. Comparing the prices between the UK and Dubai.
TriumphantTales TweensTeensBeyond PoCoLo Life without Friends? I couldn't do it.

My 13 top tips for your first few days as an expat.

Having made two international relocations in the past 5 years I wanted to share some advice on 'things to do' when you arrive in your new country and 'tips' on getting things done as smoothly as possible.

• Keep your whats app number until you are sure you have a permanent SIM number.

• Get a PO Box number or confirm your full postal address ASAP, you'll need this when you open bank accounts, etc, you really don't want to have to change it after you move.

• Know your physical address as well as your postal address, drop a pin on whats app, you really don't need to be trying to talk a delivery driver in when you don't know the local area.

• Work out your best mobile 3G deal and download maps of your local area, public transport apps.

• If you've rented a property and haven't moved into it yet and you're staying in a hotel, get down to your house every day, use it as a base to explore from. If you're already working, make sure you go past the house every day on your commute to familiarise yourself with the roads and short cuts, the last thing you want to do is have to learn a new route to work every day.

• Use the banks, shops, facilities near where you are going to live, you won't want to be going back to the hotel where things have become familiar.

• Chat with everyone, take everyone's number, take up every invite. You may never see these people again, but some of them could help you in the short term, others could become life long friends.

• Get all your documents scanned and send it to yourself in an email, you'll never know when you'll need to provide a copy of something.

• When setting up any account, applying for work, going to the doctors/dentists for the first time, take ALL your paperwork with you. 

• Be prepared to spend a long time at your first visit to anywhere. Take a bottle of water, something to read, maybe something to eat and don't be surprised or upset when you get sent away because you are one document short that you weren't told about on your first visit.

• When you set up any account, register online to make life easier to pay deposits and pay the bills on time.

• Take cash with you for deposits for services, not everywhere will take credit cards and often debit cards can't be used.

• Make sure you know the route for where the nearest dentists, doctors, A&E are and find out the phone number for emergency services.

Holidays for Pets

This is the first time we've boarded our cat and dog whilst going on holiday.

Bob was a rescue with only a few days left at the SPCA when we found him, he was skinny, frightened and looked very sad.

He quickly moved in with us and after a few weeks he seemed to accept he was going to stay.

The cat found us a year earlier, she moved in with us and 6 weeks followed us to our new home.

If we went away for a few days either a neighbour would look after the cat and dog or child no 4 of 5 was at home for the weekend.
For longer periods of time when we were on a road trip a friend would come and stay at the house for a couple of weeks.
Many times we took Bob with us on holiday when we lived in South Africa and our friend would just cat sit the house.

Both the cat and dog had no long term effects from their move to Dubai, in fact there weren't any short term effects after a 8 hour flight and a 4 hour stop over each side before they were delivered to their new home. The dog looked at me for a few minutes, ran and explored the new garden and promptly reverted to his old self. Within a week of trying to keep the cat indoors as we hadn't moved into the house at this point, but visited twice daily, we let her out, she explored a little, came home, ate, slept, ate and repeat.

This is the first time the cat and dog have boarded. My biggest issue was getting the cat in her basket for the car journey, dopey Bob will go anywhere with me, sometimes he just joins me for the short journey to the train station to collect hubby from work.

I've researched the cattery and kennells well, I've asked others about their experiences, I've checked online. I've visited and once I selected one, I took Bob with me to visit, just to gauge his reaction.

Both animals are staying with Posh Paws. The cattery is out on the Al Khawaneej Road past the airport and takes about 35 minutes to reach and the kennels are in Ajman about another 40 minutes away.

Cattery

Kennels

They are very reasonable priced, part of their stay is in peak season, so a little more expensive but it includes all their food, care, baths and nails and frontline on entry.

With their bags packed and water and treats for the journey, as I'm a big softie, we set off with Bob not having a clue where he was going but very excited to be going somewhere.

The cat was dropped off first, she cried all the way there, she really doesn't like being shut in small spaces unless it's by choice and in my wardrobe.

Her room for the next 17 nights is large and comfy, she has controlled access to an outdoor space during the evenings when it has cooled down a little.

Bob sprung out the car and immediately set off after a stray cat, dragging me behind him, he happily entered his new home for the next 17 nights and didn't actually seem that bothered to be in there. He too has access to outdoor space early in the mornings and after sunset, he will also be walked twice a day and be able to use the socialising yard, as he loves being in the company of other dogs.

Bob has a huge bed with blankets and I left a couple of his toys with him.

 Bob needed showing how to get through the plastic doors

I have no idea what they think is happening to them. I'm hoping Bob has a short memory, he fared well with the move from South Africa and the flight to Dubai, I'm just a little worried he'll think he's been abandoned, but I'll be collecting him soon and if he does have a short memory he'll soon forget about his time in the kennels. The only reason I worry is because I know how much he misses me when I'm away.

Who knows what Pushkins will make of the whole ordeal, this is also the first time for her, although going from previous experiences it'll be just something she does.

I dropped them both off yesterday, I'm in the UK now for 17 nights, I'm sure they'll be both ok. I just hope they don't think I've abandoned them, especially as they've been separated. I'll let you know how they react to me when I get back.

The cat can't seem to find her spot

The cat can't seem to find her spot.

In South Africa the cat slept in her pink bed on the window sill, the downstairs window was left open and she would come and go at her own choosing. However since moving to Dubai, she's been unsettled, she's eating and even drinking lots of water, she purrs, she seems content, but she just can't find her spot.

We actually don't have a window we can leave open other than the one in the kitchen which is over the sink and we really don't want her walking over the kitchen surfaces, the other 'windows' are actually doors which we can't leave open when we're not in or at night and during the day with the air con in full swing she is either in or out. However she has become very good at knocking on the doors and making a right racket during the night to either come in or go out and we're not getting much sleep at the moment.

 Excuse the discolouration in the bath as the water comes out of the taps brown in Dubai

Hiding

In the closet

Why won't you open the window?

We feed her on top of the washing machine to stop Bob stealing her food

Death Stare

Not a big fan of cuddles, it's too hot 

Why sleep in a perfectly good bed?

When she can clear out my closet?

The sink is obviously cooler

Dog's bed claimed

Hubby took these two photos last month while I was away in Canada. Due to the heat both animals spend the day light hours indoors, with me being away, they've been spending all day with just one another for company.

The cat seems to have found her spot now. i spend most of my day when I'm in the house in the conservatory, it has it's own air con unit, which means I'm not battling to cool the whole house and while the dog sleeps on one sofa I've taken to feeding the cat her treats in this room and put them on her Hello Kitty blanket which she is now choosing to sleep on.

This photo popped up on my timeline on face book this week. I'd forgotten she went through her 'Hide and Seek' phase a few years ago also.

Let me know when you spot her.

Expat life in South Africa and Dubai

I get asked all the time 'which do you prefer? South Africa or Dubai?'

I can't answer that question in the same way that visitors do, they say Dubai is much better. They mean safer, but then when we people come and stay with us they don't actually go off and do their own thing anyway, so it makes no difference where they are visiting us as I'm still the bloody unpaid tour guide.

I don't have a preference to either country in terms of the actual move, opening bank accounts, working out how things are done, dealing with different languages and cultures. It's unknown, therefore it's difficult, complicated and expensive.

There are 3 advantages that Dubai has over South Africa in regards to a relocation is that in Dubai:

1) It's consistent and the same rules apply to all, unlike South Africa which would depend on a) who you spoke to and b) what mood they were in, as that would depend on the information you were asked for on that particular visit.

2) I was able to go out on my own the first day and use public transport and walk around freely

3) I was able to get a SIM card, by myself, just by showing my entry visa stamp

The things that are the same are:

1) The company wouldn't deal with me
2) The relocation firm disappeared as soon as there were issues with the house, the container and my visa.
3) The medical aid is complicated, no one helps you find a doctor, dentist or even tells you what the emergency number is and where the nearest hospital is.
4) I'm lonely and it's taking a long time to build friendships and I have no emergency network
5) I'm depressed
6) I have no identity

In South Africa I had to deal with the children leaving home and for the first time in 22 years not being a mum, I am however grateful that with the move to Dubai I haven't had to deal with sorting schools out.

I spent the 1st year in South Africa settling the kids into their new lives, trying to find my niche, a job, a volunteer placement and numerous attempts to finish my studies.
I then spent 2 years enjoying life, made friends, had a network, had volunteer work, socialised, went on safaris, camping trips, got a cat and a dog, dealt with emergencies back in the UK and in South Africa camped in a township, raised funds, worked hard and partied harder and
The 4th and final year was spent waiting for a decision to be made by hubby's company as to whether or not we'd move to Dubai. We were told I could work there, something I was also told that on the move to South Africa, we were told things would be different this time, they haven't been. I knew I'd lose my identity again, that I'd have to make new friends and I thought it would be easier this time because a) I knew what to expect and b) I'd be working, but it's been harder than I expected, taken longer than I'd hoped.

I'm on my own for the next few weeks, hubby is back for 2 nights next week before he goes to the States and the 20 year old is stopping over for 3 nights on his way back from South Africa to the UK the following week, but for me I'm almost housebound due to the heat and a painful back and two doses of severe food poisoning so apart from physio, walks with the dog when the sun goes down, I'm lying on the bed watching you tube with the air con on, bored, lonely and depressed knowing how hard the rest of this year is going to be to reinvent my identity and find something to do with my time that's worthwhile and makes me feel valued, knowing this time, that at some point, it will all stop, we'll be packing up, saying our goodbyes and starting all over again somewhere else.

How stressful is an expat, relocation move?

Very, it's not easy, you'll lose all control over your life, you'll be let down, plunged into difficult and sometimes dangerous situations, you'll be skint at the end of it all, no matter how generous your relocation package is and you'll swear blind you will NEVER, EVER DO THIS AGAIN (until next time)

Both our relocations to South Africa and to Dubai have gone wrong, very wrong, causing unnecessary stress at what is a very difficult time. Moving is one thing, but moving 1000's of miles from everything and everyone you know is hard work and can be heartbreaking.

South Africa was my home for 4 years and leaving my friends and my life was as difficult, if not harder than leaving the UK for the first time. For me, when I left the UK, I knew one day I would return, that it would become home again, I knew I could visit my family and friends and be there if they needed me, but leaving South Africa has a whole other set of emotions. I will visit, yes, but I will never return there, it will never be my home again.

A lot of the worries and anxieties can be removed with the right support, timescale and framework in place. however my experience of both moves says that HR is NOT the best department to deal with a relocation. They subcontract out to various companies for visa applications, shipping, renting housing etc and they DO NOT and WILL NOT deal directly with the accompanying spouse. The sub contracted companies when contacted will tell you the contract is with HR and not you and will not discuss anything with you at all, EVER.

This causes additional and unnecessary stress on your relationship. For us, I didn't want to leave South Africa, I wasn't ready, HR's timescale was too slow, they dragged their heels with starting the move and as predicted left us with an extremely short time frame in which to move. My husband is dealing with a new job, a new way of doing things, new and different cultures in the work place, he doesn't need me stuck in a hotel gently rocking in a corner because I feel left out, I'm not in control, I'm not allowed to do anything because NO ONE will speak to me, include me, let me do the stuff I'm good at. He also does not have the time to sort everything out on our behalf, we are a team, we have different skill sets, that's what makes us able to survive 2 international relocations and no amount of him asking, telling, begging HR to deal with me, let me sort the stuff, it's what I'm good at, they just won't shift. it's hubbies contract, it's with him, not me.

I've written a series of blog posts over the past few weeks, they've been added to and edited and don't really follow in any particular order, but if you're interested, please feel free to click, read, comment and share.

The whole process of applying to move to Dubai started in October, again we were told very little about what we were actually required to do, it took a lot of phone calls and we had to spend 3 weeks in the UK to sort out all the paperwork, which was submitted in Dubai on November 29th, after returning to South Africa to pack up our home, we returned on December 19th to discover the work visa application had been submitted as promised.
Applying for visas to live in Dubai

The first post is based on our experiences from using a relocation firm, although the woman who helped us with most of the stuff, was bloody wonderful, her hands were tied, there was only so much she could do to help us, where everything fell apart was despite her constantly emailing the company she worked for, they failed to respond and eventually told me, she was as fault, which I will not accept.
If I were a relocation expert

Next up are the consequences for the spouse, unable to 'do anything' due to the companies refusal to deal directly with me.
What happened to pastoral care?

This post outlines what was promised and what actually happened and is happening, this post will continue to be updated.
Timeline for an expat move

The following post is about life in a hotel for 5 weeks, I think we're actually in our 6th week now and our 3rd hotel. It isn't a lot of fun.
5 weeks in a hotel

This post was written and published the beginning of December and outlines my concerns and worries about what lies ahead based on what happened when we relocated to South Africa in 2011
Reality of a company move

We already knew things were going downhill and a lot of stuff is now getting repeated, but as you can see from the next post, we've spent most of our time in Dubai just worrying about what is going to happen.
Moving from South Africa to Dubai 

Prior to our move we had to sort all our documentation and organise our shipping, all badly advised, we did most of the work ourselves and I doubt we'll ever know just exactly what and why these experts are being paid for.

How to sort luggage, air freight and shipping 

New Year's Eve in Dubai

Well it won't be at the Burg Khalifia, or the Madinet, or the Burg Al Arab, or The Beach or Dubai Marina, it will be from our hotel, assuming we haven't fallen asleep by then.

Our 19 year old is spending the night on the beach with a school friend from South Africa who also lives in Dubai.

So far for New Years Eve we've checked out of one hotel and into another, walked the dog and fed the cat.

We are currently sitting in Starbucks sending emails to HR, the rental agent, the landlord and the relocation company who to date have helped us find a house, made all the bookings with the shipping and air freight, our personal flights, booked hotels and made the arrangements to have the dog and cat flown over. However, we don't have a house yet that is habitable and after tomorrow the 19 year old doesn't have anywhere to stay for 4 nights until his friends visitors return to South Africa. We can't afford to pay for an additional room at the hotel as we've had to pay for most of the above and until we get residency visas we can't have a bank account and therefore the company can't reimburse our costs.

Off now to a supermarket to buy cleaning material and camping gear so we can spend the rest of the afternoon and tomorrow making one bathroom and bedroom useable, however the kitchen in it's current state is a write off.

Not how we had been promised we'd spend our new lives in Dubai, but hey ho, it's a company move.

Happy New Year to you all and I hope your New Year is a lot less stressful than ours.

UPDATE

Well we ended up at The Beach after a meal at the Marina and it was amazing, peaceful, friendly and calm, no alcohol drunk so no worries about any violence or trouble. When everyone left it reminded me of leaving a big football match but without the worry of anything kicking off.