Around the home this January 2019

There have been a few changes around the house this January, making way for the new sofa we've ordered for the TV room.

We purchased a couple of new rugs from the market in Masafi. This red one in the lounge and 

this pale green runner for the hall.

 We also moved the white IKEA furniture from the hallway (book case and plant stand) to the upstairs area.

I love these repurposed drawers used as book shelfs which are now upstairs also.

The sofa is made to measure and this is the area it will be in. The old wicker furniture which we acquired in South Africa has now been relocated to the balcony behind the curtains.

The spare room is the next to be tackled (receive a make over) the MFI furniture (out of shot) will be replaced with a simple desk and a storage unit for files. I'll tackle that job in March.

Do you have any plans for your home this spring?

Want To Improve Your Life? This Mum Proves It Can Be Done.

The following extract is taken from @kateonthinice Groovymum blog http://kateonthinice.wordpress.com/

As mums we can get bogged down in all the business of it all. It can get us down and we can lose sight of who we used to be or who we aim to be. What can we do to change that? In this guest post from Polly, she tells us how six months ago she decided to take charge of her own life and to talk about how it has gone since. Read what she has to say and then join us at the Twitter Party next Tuesday from 1pm-2pm which you can read all about by clicking here http://kateonthinice.wordpress.com/2012/03/20/will-you-come-to-a-very-special-twitter-party/'

@pollyburns2 blogs about her life as a mum and how she is getting her groove back. She shows us how she can do it, with young children rather than waiting for them to grow up to get her life back.
http://kateonthinice.wordpress.com/2012/03/21/want-to-improve-your-life-this-mum-proves-it-can-be-done/

For me it's not children that have contributed to me losing my groove. When I had my first son when I was aged 20 and he turns 20 in May, my life hadn't actually started. I left home aged 17 and moved away from my home town for work. I spent 2 years as a single mum, married, 2 more children, endless part time jobs including a stint in a chip shop and night classes, divorce, met my husband (married for 10 years this October) inherited 2 step children (the eldest being profoundly disabled) went back to school, got my teaching degree, worked as a lecturer for 3 years training teaching assistants and teaching autistic students, worked as a child welfare officer for The FA and studied for a degree in Psychology and Criminology.

I guess like Polly I wasn't prepared to put my life on hold to raise a family, it ran side by side, often not very smoothly and in September 2010 the 3rd child left home aged 18 to follow a career, like his step brother before him. Step daughter is in residential care and settled into her life time adult home.

So where? how? when? did I lose my groove?

September 2010 to January 2011 was a very busy period for me, exams, tidying up lose ends at work, making sure all my students had passed their NVQs, inducting a new welfare officer, packing, sorting, decorating, renting the house, amending policies, change of address, endless farewells to family and friends and numerous trips to London to sort out the visas.

January 2011 - July 2011 was full of our new and exciting life in South Africa, house hunting, cars, bank accounts, utilities and all without any assistance from hubbies company, including a lost container at customs. Endless family visiting, my eldest, step son, parents, hubbies Mother and sister, no time to breathe,

August 2011 every thing stopped, there were no more visitors lined up, no more hassles to sort, kids settled in school, hubby settled in work and travelling in Africa and back to Europe...and me?

That was the problem there was nothing for me, no job, no studies and only 2 kids instead of the usual 5 on weekends or popping down to Reading to visit son, food shopping to Gloucester to take step daughter out for the day, no football club to fundraise for and no friends to have coffee with.

I stumbled across Kate, I don't recall how or when. I don't so blog hops, I don't join network sites, I don't describe myself as a yummy mummy or a mummy blogger. But something about Kates blog hop drew my attention. I hadn't lost my groove because my kids had got in the way, I wasn't suffering with PND, I'd done all the new baby stuff, the difficult divorce. I'd just lost my groove and happen to be a mum because I'd moved 5764 miles from home.

Like Polly I find that tuesday mornings I'm looking for Kates new challenges, it helps me reflect on the week that has gone, helps me to focus to realise that I have done things that are worthwhile, that I do have value as a mum, a wife, a person and it helps me set myself little challenges to get me out more, to volunteer, to meet people and it gives me like minded people to talk to, has introduced more traffic to my blog, encouraged me to not be put off by joining other neetworks and has helped me meet more expats that understand where I'm coming from to realise .... I AM NEVER ALONE

Being a SAHM does not mean I've lost my idenity

I'm not a SAHM through choice, our move to South Africa has forced it upon me, I can volunteer, I can continue with my studies...yeah I love jumping through hoops. I can blog, tidy up the photo albums, do crafts, paint my nails, go out for coffee, relax in/by the pool, tidy and rearrange the house within an inch of it's life....but it's not my thing...not really. But a year on, I'm starting to embrace it.

I've worked full time since 1988, minus 3 short breaks on maternity leave, periods of unemployment due to health/injuries at work, moving house and inheriting 2 step children, but when I've not been working, I've been studying.

But last year it all went, I became a SAHM, I'm not a yummy muumy or even a MILF (flattered by those over 18 that have called me one though) I'm not even sure I qualify as a SAHM as my kids were 12 & 16 when this happened, it's been years since I've labelled clothes, sent in spare pants to school, just in case, attended open evenings or gone within a 3 mile radius of a PTA without copious amounts of wine and only then because a friend has twisted my arm to help them as they've taken too much on 'you're so good at this, plurease'

I don't classify myself as a yummy mummy, I don't get my nails done, meet with the ladies for lunch, hold little charity events and being the owner of a Radley handbag and Birkenstocks does not elevate me into the ranks of a MILF.

So what am I?

According to the school information sheet I'm a Home Excutive...nah, that's not me either, I juggle time tables, lift shares, homework, but we don't have a maid, I do my own cleaning and ironing and to be honest the gardener we employ one day a week feels like I'm offering a community service.

I was saddened this week to read tweets and a blog by someone who thought being a SAHM was unimportant, having not signed up to it when they married/had children. I don't resent being at home all day, having given up a career lecturing and working in child welfare, stopping my studies, moving away from family and friends...I just worry about the future me, what becomes of me when the last child leaves home, if we return to the UK or move to another country, I'm 40 years of age, soon the world will have past me by and I'll not be fit for the workplace.

So what can I do about it?

Well, I still have to be here for the kids from school and run them to their various activities, cook clean, wash, iron and be chief bottle washer, but I can still broaden my horizons, I can read, I can study my area of expertise, I can keep up to date with current issues and I can use my skills to volunteer in a worthy area, I've been touting for 'work' (no one will pay me http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Economic_Empowerment ) I can build up a worthy CV of my time and experience in South Africa to put to use in the future.

But the one think I understand about being a SAHM, the one thing that gets to me, that causes me the most grief, is the isolation, the feeling of having no value and every day I fend the question 'So what does your husband do for work?'