105 My Sunday Photo January 1st 2017 - D is for Disappointment.

Dubai is growing quickly. This is our 3rd New Year here. Our 3rd night on the beach to watch the fireworks go off from the Burj Khalifa, Burj Al Arab and the Atlantis Hotel.

I have been thoroughly spoilt living in Dubai, I have come to expect a certain standard of living, we can't afford the 'high' life, but we do sample what we can and when we can.

Every year in Dubai the New Year has just got bigger and better. 2014 we spent on the beach at JBR. The area was still not fully open and there were around 2000 people on the beach, last year some 20,000. 2015 we set up camp on the beach at the bottom of our road and watched the fireworks go off everywhere, including a 5 km display out at sea, which lasted almost 20+ minutes. It started at the Burj Khalifa, up to the creek, along the sea and finished at the Burj Al Arab. 2016 focused on the new canal area, which we could see, but the fireworks all went off at the same time this year.

We used to enjoy the more simple things in Dubai, the local park, where parking and access was easy. Our local park now forms part of the new Dubai Water Canal, the cafe which showed outdoor movies is no longer there and the park has reduced by 50%. 2 years on, I now have to fight for parking space, the park is crowded and the main entrance is a long walk from the car park.

Access to visit a friend and go to the bank now involves several U turns and driving in the opposite direction to reach our destination and since Box Park and City Walk opened the traffic is almost at standstill reaching our local supermarket.

Our visitors come to Dubai with a certain level of expectation, they fail in advance to understand why we don't own our own jet ski, why we don't go driving over the dunes every weekend and why we're not having endless Champagne brunches and why we don't get taxi's everywhere.

When they arrive they quickly find out why we don't do all this stuff. While a taxi in Dubai from the Marina to home in Jumeriah is only AED 47, the price of two coffees, they quickly realise that with the exchange rate that is still £10. Yes, it is cheap compared to living in other cities around the world, but the cost all mounts up.

But what is getting me down at the moment are the people living here, no particular nationality, just individuals rights to do what they want and when they want. The lack of thought and respect for other people.

Last night we grabbed burgers from the local restaurant to eat on the beach. A man walked out the door, cleared his throat and spat on the ground right outside the door. I had to stand and wait for him to finish spitting then step over the spit and when challenged he just looked at me with no idea what he had done or why I found it disgusting.

On the beach we set up camp at 4pm, as the evening went on another family went to sit no more than 10ft in front of us, now there was no one else around so I politely suggested they might like to move a little further away which they did. But this back fired on me later when 20 odd kids arrived to join the family and were promptly told by the parents to 'be quiet and play somewhere else' you guessed it, that somewhere else was right in front of me and I was less polite telling the girls to stop screeching and the boys to stop throwing the sand in my direction.

My final reason for why I am disappointed in Dubai, was some of the people who we shared the beach with who thought it was ok to use their camera phones to film the fireworks, nothing wrong with that you may think, but almost everyone had their back lights on their phones to enable them to get the lighting correct for their selfies and one guy came with a huge LED lamp that lit up most of the beach that he put down right in front of where we sitting, facing us on full beam. When approached he just had no idea why I asked him to turn it off, so feeling entitled also, I stood just a few feet in front of him to watch the firework display without being blinded.

Last year I shared some amazing photo's of the firework display, this year most of my pictures look like this.

I'm not sure we'll bother with New Year for 2017, I doubt we'll have any visitors next year, we may go to a different beach or the canal and just focus on one area rather than trying to see them all. We certainly won't be going to the Burj Khalifa, there were 650,000 people there queuing to get in from 5pm. The fireworks lasted 6 minutes. From watching them on the TV when we got home, there was a lot of smoke and I can only imagine it was sheer chaos trying to leave the area after the display.

Anyway, onwards and upwards. It's a New Year. hope it's a good one for you all.

I'm not taking your crap anymore

Firstly there are the long term friends that let you down Then there are the ones that say they need your friendship and do all the running, only to make you feel like a twat. Then there's just the plain rude. This morning I sent a SMS to a woman who I'd met through our husbands playing golf together, to be honest I complained to my hubby that I really didn't think I'd have much in common with a woman her age, but we worked in the same field of special needs so I rang and we met for coffee. She explained she couldn't stay long as she had to prepare food for a funeral of the teacher at the school she worked at. I offered to help and said I could bake cakes, which I did and met her with them at the main gate early the following morning. A few days later I sent an SMS to ask if all went OK, she replied yes and said she'd return the trays. This was several months ago and not a word since. The SMS reads I understand you're busy and not interested in the occassional coffee and chat. I get that message clearly, but I would appreciate the return of my trays. Please drop them off at (address). Regards Suzanne I know she's still in the country as the Husbands played golf together late Nov. I'll let you know how I get on with this one......and as for the Lady who Golfs, whose children attended the same school in the UK, who gave me her UK number in June in case I was still there when she arrived, then ignored my SMS when I returned to the South Africa, when I tried to rearrange a coffee that I had cancelled due to my fathers heart attack, then crossed the road in front of my car on the golf course and deliberatly looked away......well she was way too far up her own arse anyway, but no need to be so fucking rude. I received a reply to my SMS this afternoon, to explain how her car was broken into and how the trays were stolen, she meant to replace them but forgot, should she buy 3 new trays or give me the money? I replied 'forget it'

Why wont London 2012 just give me an answer

Over a month since I wrote this post, 2 weeks after the Olympics ended and 2 days after the paralympics begin and my application as a games maker is still 'under review' how hard is it to send out an email to say 'thanks'



I don’t expect to be given a role as a games maker at this stage in the day, but I do expect some communication from London 2012. If I am offered a role it will cost me the best part of £3000 in flights, accommodation, travel and living expenses.
I volunteered as a Games maker for the London Olympics 2 years ago. Since then I’ve been told I have an interview, moved to South Africa, had a telephone interview. Not been notified by April 30th as promised, instead sent an email on May 4th to say, please be patient ‘we’ll let you know by June 30th’.
During that time my application for the main games was withdrawn, it took until July 5th to have it reinstated. The same day I received another email to say ‘thanks for your patience we will be in touch’
Since then I’ve emailed to which I’ve only received an automated response and telephoned to ask for further info and to explain I’m based in South Africa, I need to book flights, accommodation all, if still available, at considerable cost to myself.
I’m not expecting a role, I’d just like to know what my situation is. On Friday 20th July, I was informed I’m one of about 100 people still waiting to be allocated a role and may get an offer of the Paralympics. Today 23rd July I’m told that the area I’ve been assigned to has been notified of my keenness and the unanswered emails have been addressed with the relevant department. I am now on my 3rd Case ID number since July 2nd.
The games maker zone has not been updated, I check regularly, that’s how I found out my application had been deleted. There is no contact.
I have now missed out on the opportunity to purchase tickets for the London 2012 Olympics as I could not afford to fly to the UK for the games and then either stay for 6 weeks if I got offered a role at the Paralympics or pay for a return flight should I be notified late in the day. My adult son in the UK is attending the technical rehearsal tonight with a ticket I was given as a sweetner.
I’m not expecting a role; I am concerned that I may have missed out on a role while my application showed as withdrawn. My husband has cancelled an important meeting in Europe due to the uncertainty of a role at the Olympics as we have no child care or family in South Africa and cannot afford to pay for the children to return to the UK at the same time.
I’ve had 600+ hits on this blog since 5th July. 163 hits on this blog since 20th July. Yet I get no response from London 2012. Can you help?

When all you can do is wait

Interview via phone in June, informed I'd hear by 30th November

Email sent February to ask why the delay, informed will be notified by April 30th

Phoned UK on Friday, told 'still in the running'

Today is April 30th, no email, website not updated and application still under review.

I do hope this isn't a sign of impending disaster with The London Olympics.

It's a poor show, there are 100's of people on twitter in the same situation, lots of us living abroad, needing to arrange flights home, organise child care. people in the UK to arrange their leave.

Should I give up? Accept I've not been sucessful to be a Games Maker at The London Olympics? Email them? (again) keep refreshing emails? keep logging in? checking UK papers? (online) Checking the official web, facebook and twitter accounts?

I was anxious last week, now I'm angry....please don't spoil this for me.

UPDATE
5th may
Yesterday I received an email to say basically, I've not been discounted, I'm still in the running I'll know by the end of June.

Oh Hello, 3 weeks before the games start? Accomodation? Flights? Guess what? the Olympics are on in London, whats the chances of getting affordable accomodation? Any accomodation?

Not to mention sorting out the kids here, hubbies work? he is now not scheduling any travel in July, August and September and I have a friend on standby for the school runs in the afternoons.

I'm finding the whole situation embarrassing....answering questions with 'no obviously I'm just not good enough to be a games maker....no I haven't hear....no I don't know how I'll feel....relieved? disappointed? excited? even if I do get a role now, I'll fell second place, do I want to feel like that?

A little bit of research has led me to discover I'm not on a reserve list, they sent a seperate reserve list email. I haven't been told NO, all the NO emails have been sent out. So just what does my email mean? So another email has been sent, an automated receipt received this am and i wait to find out what THAT email means.

In the meantime I've stopped myself from deleting the application, I so want this opportunity....and the more of you that do delete yours out of frustration the higher my odds are of getting a role.

i feel a little let down

Last night I dragged myself down to the club house for the 'spin and win' night that Alex kept pestering me about, there was a Braai and what turned out to be a game of bingo.I heard a few English voices and at the buffet table I introduced myself to this woman and her husband by saying 'you don't hear many accents like that here'

They both looked so relieved to hear another English voice and introduced themselves to me.

After the Braai and the bingo had finished I walked over to their table to discover I had happened upon the ex pat club for Centurion, which to date I had carefully avoided. I didn't want to just make friends with ex pats, but seeing as I was having little luck else where, I introduced myself. The 'leader' of the group said 'you're the one that moved into Kaths house,I know she gave you my number, why didn't you call?'

oh well, too many visitors etc was my reply, but I'm here now.

I chatted with A and her husband. We shared many things in common since moving to South Africa, difficulties with bank accounts, loans for cars etc and lonliness, the American woman also joined in with the conversation.

A's husband told me he was pleased they'd met us, as A could do with a friend, someone to have a coffee and a gossip with. He gave me his wifes number, I called it so she had my number and we chatted for the next couple of hours.

Arrangements were made for me to go to their house the following day, I'd told them my husband was away for 2 weeks and as they had 2 young kids and mine were easily entertained with the TV and could be left at home, we could meet anytime next week also to do things with the boys.

A told me that she didn't venture out for and neither do I really, but then I found out how far she didn't venture out and realised I was way ahead of her in terms of settling into my new life.

We talked about shopping trips in Johannesburg and Sandton, the game reserves for Rhino spotting and various other places I had already been to, that she said she'd love to go to.

So this morning about 11am, I sent her a text to see if it was still alright to come round, no reply, I deliberated as to whether I should go and got some good advise on twitter.

I arrived 15 minutes late, so not to appear too keen, cos really I was over keen, the prospect of having a friend, etc.

The gate house called them to say I was there. 'No sorry they aren't expecting anyone and don't know who you are and anyway their out, will be back shortly'
So I pulled my car over to the waiting area and sat for 10 minutes reading my book, I realised this looked and felt really pathetic so I left.

I went to te mall nearby and had coffee, then lunch and surprisingly had avocado, which I expected to hate, but actually rather enjoyed, had another coffee, moved indoors to the smoking room for another coffee and spent nearly 2 hours reading my book and enjoying my 'me time' (had had a big row with the kids before going out and really didn't want to go back)

I was on the verge of tears alot, but I don't think the book I was reading helped much (the understudy, by David Nicholls)

I returned home...oh sod it, stuff it and got a text message from A.
'Sorry we had to go out, maybe another time, let me know'

I haven't replied and I won't be replying, that's her call to make.
She's the one with the small children, she's the one that doesn't go far, cos she's scared to. she's the one that needs a friend more than me, because i've got you guys and right now I really don't want anything more.

I'd just got to the stage of enjoying being me.

If you don't tell me I'm getting it wrong, how am I ever supposed to know?

I go through life disappointed. Disappointed in myself and others but mainly with myself. I've blogged before about givers and takers and lack of post from the UK since moving here.

I aim too high, I set my standards to high and I fall, every bloody time. I won't learn, I can't change, but I am learning not to let it affect me like it used to.

Now I have a little rant, I have a little cry, sometimes I tweet it, but I no longer challenge.

I find if I dare to complain, tell someone that their reaction to my well thought out intentions has hurt me or explain why their actions or words have upset me, it ends up with them verbally attacking me, explaining how my expectations make them feel and why I make them behave the way they do towards me and I end up apologing for making them feel like that. And the issue of how I felt is left, undiscussed. But at least they feel better.

My biggest problem is I offer help/support/guidance when I see or hear them in trouble or when they post a comment or when I'm told by a third party something is wrong and they need help. But I do it in my way, not they way they want apparently. I spend my time looking for the right gift rather than just chucking money their way, I write what I think they want/need to hear and until they say my advice/help/support/guidance/gifts aren't wanted I just carry on blindly.

Since moving to South Africa I've discovered who/what is important to me, I've got rid of some deadwood, hangers on/takers. I've done this as a response from all the lovely letters, emergency PG Tips parcels, phone calls, personal messages, skype calls, emails and mostly but not entirely from people I've never even met. (Isn't twitter a wonderful place)

But what I've noticed and what has upset me the most is while people feel they can have a go at me because I'm not writing enough, I'm not making enough calls. Calls are expensive, the internet doesn't always work. I've sent photo's, gifts and long letters, I ask them questions about their lives, jobs, kids to give them something to reply to. But then they don't write back, evderyone loves to hear from me, everyone loves the photos's, the gifts, the letters. They don't reply, they've got nothing to say, they don't say thanks, they don't post a message to say I got your gift and thank you. I post comments on their face book, I reply to their status updates and the most I get back is a 'like'.

So no more, you reply to me I'll reply to you, you bother with me and I'll bother with you, that's how it works, it doesn't have to be a letter or a call it could just me a message to me, rather than posting your general news in my timeline or public announcements on face book.

So when you don't get a card for your birthday or at christmas and I don't pop in and say Hi when I return to the UK in December, it'll be your turn to be disappointed, your turn to wonder what you've done wrong and I won't be engaging in a conversation with you either so you can feel better.....it'll be your turn to wonder why?