Saturday, 27 August 2011

i feel a little let down

Last night I dragged myself down to the club house for the 'spin and win' night that Alex kept pestering me about, there was a Braai and what turned out to be a game of bingo.I heard a few English voices and at the buffet table I introduced myself to this woman and her husband by saying 'you don't hear many accents like that here'

They both looked so relieved to hear another English voice and introduced themselves to me.

After the Braai and the bingo had finished I walked over to their table to discover I had happened upon the ex pat club for Centurion, which to date I had carefully avoided. I didn't want to just make friends with ex pats, but seeing as I was having little luck else where, I introduced myself. The 'leader' of the group said 'you're the one that moved into Kaths house,I know she gave you my number, why didn't you call?'

oh well, too many visitors etc was my reply, but I'm here now.

I chatted with A and her husband. We shared many things in common since moving to South Africa, difficulties with bank accounts, loans for cars etc and lonliness, the American woman also joined in with the conversation.

A's husband told me he was pleased they'd met us, as A could do with a friend, someone to have a coffee and a gossip with. He gave me his wifes number, I called it so she had my number and we chatted for the next couple of hours.

Arrangements were made for me to go to their house the following day, I'd told them my husband was away for 2 weeks and as they had 2 young kids and mine were easily entertained with the TV and could be left at home, we could meet anytime next week also to do things with the boys.

A told me that she didn't venture out for and neither do I really, but then I found out how far she didn't venture out and realised I was way ahead of her in terms of settling into my new life.

We talked about shopping trips in Johannesburg and Sandton, the game reserves for Rhino spotting and various other places I had already been to, that she said she'd love to go to.

So this morning about 11am, I sent her a text to see if it was still alright to come round, no reply, I deliberated as to whether I should go and got some good advise on twitter.

I arrived 15 minutes late, so not to appear too keen, cos really I was over keen, the prospect of having a friend, etc.

The gate house called them to say I was there. 'No sorry they aren't expecting anyone and don't know who you are and anyway their out, will be back shortly'
So I pulled my car over to the waiting area and sat for 10 minutes reading my book, I realised this looked and felt really pathetic so I left.

I went to te mall nearby and had coffee, then lunch and surprisingly had avocado, which I expected to hate, but actually rather enjoyed, had another coffee, moved indoors to the smoking room for another coffee and spent nearly 2 hours reading my book and enjoying my 'me time' (had had a big row with the kids before going out and really didn't want to go back)

I was on the verge of tears alot, but I don't think the book I was reading helped much (the understudy, by David Nicholls)

I returned home...oh sod it, stuff it and got a text message from A.
'Sorry we had to go out, maybe another time, let me know'

I haven't replied and I won't be replying, that's her call to make.
She's the one with the small children, she's the one that doesn't go far, cos she's scared to. she's the one that needs a friend more than me, because i've got you guys and right now I really don't want anything more.

I'd just got to the stage of enjoying being me.