Tuesday, 28 November 2017

Life without friends, I couldn't do it.

My friends the past few months have been a lifeline for me after my dad died and I found myself 1000's of miles from my home in Dubai trying to juggle my emotions with dealing with his sudden death, clearing out a life times collection of his stuff that had little value or worth to others, helping mum sell the house and purchase a new flat, one son emigrating to Australia, another being deployed to the Middle East, the teen leaving school, my health, a scare with cancer and a diagnosis of pneumonia, as well as the general day to day issues. Whilst hubby stayed in Dubai keeping our lives afloat financially and everyone else around me, despite their grief, apart from mum, still had their own homes, families and day to day lives to return to, some normality.

I'm a very social person, I'll chat with anyone, anywhere. I've made friends in the town where my parents and family live. I've never lived there. I'm known in the coffee shop, with the only question they need to ask is whether I'm drinking in or out that day. I know all the neighbours where we bought a flat last year and we chat. The woman in the post office asks about my son in the Middle East when I post a BFPO box out to him and enquires about the other kids and their girlfriends as various, random packages are sent to different locations. In the pub, they know my drink and even make me a cup of tea, if I just fancy some company and not alcohol. I've been offered the use of a car, lifts to the airport, my phone book list has grown. I've met my Mums neighbours, I pop round for a drink, met lovely baby twins that have melted my heart, their Mum was so kind to me and the teen the night my dad died and now probably a life long friend in the making.

I’m still in touch with school friends from when I was 5 in primary school and from secondary school aged 11+. We will meet occasionally, as in once a year or even less, but we chat maybe once every few months or so on face book.

I have another set of friends that come and go more frequently in my life, where we can go a couple of years without seeing one another, but keep in regular contact online and via mail, in fact I have a couple of friends I have regular contact with with that I've never actually met. These friends have shared happy and sad times with me, not necessarily at the same time or same events, important events in both our lives, our partners and our children.

I also have friends that have come and gone, been there for big events in one another lives and for day to day stuff also that I no longer have contact with, we've drifted apart through life experiences, fall outs or just grown apart for whatever reason.

I have day to day friends, acquaintances, people I meet up with when I'm in Dubai or the UK, but we're not involved in one another lives to share emotions, thoughts and feelings, just day to day stuff, say hi and hang out with from time to time.

I have another set of friends who have featured prominently in mine and my children’s lives and me in theirs also for a very long time. Three friends I've known for 24, 19 and 15 years. These 3 friends don't do social media, but their children do. Keeping in touch has been harder, especially when we lived in South Africa and the postal system was less reliable, but since moving to Dubai 3 years ago and with more frequent visits to the UK, the friendship has become closer, we've shared births, marriages, divorces, children leaving home, in one case the arrival of grandchildren. Our partners get on well, our kids grew up together, we've babysat one another kids, their kids looked after ours, our kids are now looking after their kids, we've all moved houses, lost a parent (or two) recently. We all know one another, we all ask after the others, everyone knows how important these friends are in my life. The kids are in contact with the adults, with the children, both through me and independently.

These 3 friends in particular are my lifeline, they keep me going, they are part of me. Everyone I met holds some significance in my life, be it on a short journey or for a lifetime, in real life or online. There's always someone around that just has the right words at the right time, even if it's just a random stranger asking if I'm ok in a supermarket like they did last week, when something triggered my upset about my Dads death.

13 comments:

  1. Suzanne there are moments in our lives when I think the value of our friendships really strike home and it seems like you have experienced that recently. I know I have and some that have floundered don't cause me a moment's anxiety. It is part of life. The ones that are there through thick or thin regardless of the longevity of the relationship are the ones to hold onto. #TweensTeensBeyond

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    1. I've been really amazed how these friendships have developed and strengthened over the years, despite us being outside the UK. Sadly a few so called friends have dropped off the radar,

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  2. I have a handful of friends that I have known for about 35 years now. We don't talk as often as I'd like, and none of us live anywhere near each other anymore, but I know they would be on a plane tomorrow if I needed them, as they know I would #TTB

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    1. one thing this summer has taught me is to accept the offers of help and don't be afraid to ask, it's amazing how many people have dropped things to support me in my hour of need

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  3. I find I have different friends for different things. Close friends are there all of the time and offer support and love when it's required. Other friends I specifically go on girly shopping days with, cocktail nights or theatre trips. Friends are essential for our well-being and life in general. And you know what they say...you can't choose your family but you sure as hell can choose your friends :-) #TweensTeensBeyond

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    1. I couldn't have got through this summer without my friends. Family I can take or leave.....lol

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  4. I am not surprised you have so many friends Suzanne. There is something really special about having different groups of friends. They all have a very special piece in our lives in their own unique way and the ones that can keep us afloat are our treasures. I am sure that all of these new acquaintances find you incredibly interesting and one of a kind. I'm not surprised by this either because so do we here at #tweensteensbeyond

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    1. thank you, that is a lovely comment, sometimes i intrigue myself

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  5. I'm so glad that you have had a lovely group of friends to get you through this difficult year. I seem to have separate groups of friends as well, and I seem to have collected them from different aspects of my life but they are all equally important. Social media is important for some friendships but not for others. Thanks so much for sharing with us at #TweensTeensBeyond

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    1. i could do with a few of the real world friends out here in Dubai, hoping for a few more visitors next year

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  6. I'm glad you have your friends around you - I really struggle to make lasting friends, so your post has made me a little envious.

    https://lizziedailyblog.blogspot.co.uk/

    #pocolo

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    1. there have been a few people who have let me down badly, but I do value the ones I have a great deal

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  7. I love the saying: "acquaintances I have many, but true friends can only be counted on one hand." It sounds like you've got yourself an amazing support network and some friends for life.
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back next week.

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