Friday 19 February 2010

Things that upset me

Yesterday there were two tweets that upset me.

When I write random tweets or make silly inappropriate comments people will respond to me and not always in the nicest of manners. I know it's difficult to express oneself in 140 characters but there is plenty of room to put a :-) or a lol.

I would prefer it if you sent me a DM airing your concern for me to clarify my comment, unless of course I have made the comment directly to you, then as far as I'm concerned it's fair game.

Yestersday there were two seperate @replies to general comments I made about my life, kids and interests that did not deserve the response I got. I actually went to bed slightly upset about it.

I refuse to get drawn into pettiness and gave the tweeters the benefit of doubt.

However, this morning I went into town and I forgot my shopping list, common practice for me. I stood in the co-op and felt tears welling up in my eyes. It was a silly trigger point, I know, but never the less it made me realise what was missing.

So I went and did something stupid.... I went to my friends house for a coffee and a good old fashioned natter and felt alot better straight away

Wednesday 17 February 2010

Just my perspective on life

I am not a writer or am I an authoritarian on life.
When I blog it is in response to conversations I've had in real life or on twitter and I feel the need to expand things a bit more than 140 characters will allow.

I read peoples blogs with interest but don't always want to post a comment unless it relates to me 100%.

I read some very sad things and some very funny things but if I disagree with the authors blog content I do not comment on it. It is their opinion or view on life, not mine.

I do have a view on life but it is my own if it is not interesting to you or relevant then don't knock it.

This blog has come about because of a comment I made on a previous blog of mine where I offered an opinion of other peoples blogs in general. It was my comment on on my views. I received one response on the blog which I was able to discuss with the person involved. Which was good to be able to do.

What I didn't like or appreciate were the 2 DM's I received from people who were obviously upset by my comments which, without naming anyone, they felt I was making a personal attack on them. Well I'm sorry some people are so sensitive and think the whole world revolves around them. I'm not sorry I didn't enter into their silly games just simply blocked them from Twitter.

So if those two people that DM'd me are still reading this.....I'm not a perfect Mummy nor do I claim to be one either and.... by the way....that's your problem not mine.

Sunday 14 February 2010

Growing up with Teenagers

There are loads of blogs out there on being a parent with young children. 'Is smacking wrong?' 'How much TV is too much?' and what drives me mad more than anything else are the 'Aren't I just the perfect mummy' blogs.
I had my eldest child when I was 6 weeks short of my 21st Birthday, maybe I was too young? who doesn't matter now my baby boy is 18 and in May and I have two other boys aged 15 and nearly 11.
When my children were little none of my friends had kids and could never understand why I was tired, too busy or just preferred to stay in. As my kids got older my friends started having theirs. One or two friends have young teens but most of them have children in primary school and here's the problem. They seem to think that 1. I have the answer to every bloody problem and 2. I understand every issue they face and am willinging to drop everything to offer advice, support and help. 3. My kids are independent now and lucky me I have more free time.PAH!!
Do you know what my kids still pose me problems. Having two step kids I am now on my 3rd lot of GCSE's can I get the 15 year old to study/behave/spend less time on the Xbox/tidy his room? No. Where do I go for advice and help? I don't I just grow/develop/change with my kids and accept that each one will do things differently and pile the stress on anyway they see fit.

Wednesday 10 February 2010

How does a step child address their step mum?

Have been reading @mediocre_mum's blog on terms of endearment and adults referring to them selves as Auntie and Uncle.

I have commented on her post and while I was doing so it got me thinking about my relationship with my step son. He is 20 now and left home two years go. But from the age of 10 I have raised him alongside my other 3 boys.
I consider myself to have 4 children and a step daughter. The reason I call her my step daughter is because she is profoundly disabled and at 22 I am not old enough to be her mother. I also find it very difficult when asked about her disability and 'was she born like this' 'or did something happen to her'. I can't comment other than to say 'it was from birth' 'no there was no indication prior to her birth' and 'yes it must have been very difficult for her mother and father' I cannot comment on that as I am not her birth mother.

Moving back to the reason for my writing this blog is my step son.

So what does he call me? Well, he's always used my 1st name and nothing else. He refers to me as mum and has 3 brothers and 1 sister and if anyone ever said 'you're mum is here' etc he has never corrected them. My children also call my husband by his first name. Youngest goes through periods of calling him dad or daddy and again the kids never correct anyone. My children have a very good, close and frequent relationship with their dad but consider themselves to have 2 sets of parents each teaching them valuable skills and alongside all that extra love don't forget the extra gifts at christmas and birthdays.

Step son has grown up with me being his friend and not a parent. Everything I've ever done with him has caused him grief. If I told him off he'd contact his mum and she would remind me I'm not his mother, she is. None of this was helped by me not having a name he could use.

Using my first name was too informal for a child to call me but using 'step mum' sounds too harsh. 'Auntie' doesn't sound permanent enough and 'Mrs' .... well just plain stupid.

He's all grown up now and left home. If he gets in trouble or needs anything its me he comes running to.Since he's left home I don't know what his relationship with his mother is like now but that's his decision.

But what should he have called me? Is there an official word to use to describe someone that has become your mum and has raised you, but their biological mother is still around?

I'd be interested to know.

Wednesday 3 February 2010

Airport Scanners

There have been many interesting debates on the use of Airport scanners. I work in Child Protection and have been asked many times for information on this subject in regards to scanning Under 18s.

The media have been less than helpful with the information they have been giving the public and in my opinion have been causing alarm and have not been supportive in their reporting.

I would like to get on an aeroplane and arrive alive at my chosen destination. If that means I have to be scanned then so be it. If it means my children have to be scanned then go ahead I give my full consent, although it is not required.

I contacted the Department of Transport and they replied this morning. I am satisfied with their explanation as to how the scanners are operated and would like to share their response with you.

You can also view their Code of Practice as to how they will operate and I think it is a very well written piece of information.

The use of body scanners for children is compatible with the Protection of Children Act 1978. The use of scanners will be subject to the Codes of Practice developed by the DfT, other government departments and the aviation industry.

Screening staff will be situated at a location away from passengers so they will not be able to associate an image with a particular individual. The equipment deployed in airports does not have the capacity to save an image in any form.