Wednesday 29 September 2010

Nothing to do

There are so many things we'll have to do if the move to South Africa goes ahead, but until we find out if/when we go, there's little point in starting anything. I've already stripped the house and the cupboards of all the stuff we never use...bread maker, old toys and books that the kids have finished reading. The clothes went to the charity shops, the books to the doctors surgery, they sell them to raise funds for an autistic charity. I've passed some of the kids toys onto friends and I'm selling the rest at boot sales.

I've tidied all my work files and caught up with cases. I've been assessing my students at top speed so I can finish them by the end of October rather than christmas. I've tidied the cupboard under the stairs and the cleaning cupboard to make sure everything gets used up. We've employed a cleaner ready for putting the house on the market and have sorted out 20 years worth of house hold bills and shredded everything we don't need.

And as a result I'm now bored and frustrated, bored about not being to start any new projects and frustrated as there is so much to do but can't start it yet. When we do get the go, go, go...I'm not going to know my arse from my elbow and I shall be chasing my tail in an attempt to get 'everything' sorted probably in a short space of off now to paint my nails and read a book. I'm not used to this 'me time' I need things to do.

Tuesday 28 September 2010

We're moving...well maybe

Hubby took a phone call from work beginning of September, youngest son was in the car...he was offered a job in South Africa...would I go?

Hell, yes I would..wouldn't you?

As son overheard we told middle son and they both said YES YES YES. It's something we've talked about as a family for the past 4 years we've just been waiting for it to happen.

We will find out next week.....or the week after...or the week after that.....and we are still waiting.

Don't tell anyone said hubby, and promptly told his best mate and the neigbours....I had to tell someone most of you on twitter know by now.....and had to discuss it with family in case the kids said anything. The hardest call was to the boys Dad to check he wasn't going to say no, but thankfully he said Yes, it was a great opportunity and he could always come and visit. (Didn't think that one through, did I?)

I then had to tell my 18 year old. He only left home 4 days earlier and there I was telling him we may be moving on the other side of the world. His response 'Well I'll be a proper Nanna's boy now, won't I?'

We've discussed renting/selling the house. What do we do with all the furniture, how much does it cost to ship stuff abroad? I'll have to sell my car.

Schools? Safety? Rent or buy? Rent, have since found out that if we buy we won't be able to take our moneyback out.

Financial advisor? Off shore account? Mobile phone contract, still got a year to run.

OMG what do we do first? What will we forget? We've thrown our lists in the bin, the excitement has died down. We'll end up jinxing it.

Now I've got Mum and Dad on phone most days...have you heard yet? Had the chance to develop my career, put it on hold. Do I cancel the next part of my degree? Can I continue with The OU in South Africa.

So we find out this week, sometime, big meeting in the states, many items being discussed. Peter is on a list of many decisions to be made.

All we can do now is cross our fingers, carry on with daily life, don't make any plans for the immediate future, replied Yes to a wedding next year knowing we won't be able to go to it if we move.

I've found something to do. South Africa or not we are decorating, repainting the outside of the house, new fence panels and got rid of all the junk and been having fun sorting it and taking it to the boot sales.

Watch this space I'll let you know soon what's going on, and Yes, we will be disappointed if it doesn't go ahead but it'll be for a reason and we'll find something else just as exciting to do, somehow.

Thursday 16 September 2010


My first wedding was a do for my parents...I borrowed a dress and we had the WRVS do the catering in the church hall, we ate, no disco then a night in a hotel. Hubbies 1st wedding was a massive do in a castle, the full works. But both of us said we never recognised half the guests or really enjoyed it that much.

My sister has also had two weddings, the limo was too long to go round the mini roundabout.

Don't get me wrong I love weddings, as a guest and spent the weekend with friends as they married. It was a lovely simple do, but not cheap.

Hubby and I got engaged in Las Vegas, in the car park of Maceys, he didn't fancy getting married there and then as we still weren't living together. So we sold both houses and three weeks before ours was ready, to move into, we eloped to Chester, just the two of us. On our arrival we were gate crashed by three sets of our dearest friends and afterwards we walked through Chester to an Italian restaurant and asked for a table for eight. They were fully booked, but the customers made way for us. One friend brought a cake.

Then it was time for the honeymoon. I spent the week packing and moving, with Mothers help and hubby went to Isreal 48hrs later, with work.

It has been eight years now of marriage and we keep saying we'll renew our vows and have a big do...but quite frankly, back then, it was all about us and still is now.

Saturday 4 September 2010

Being the first

In 2000 Steps sonstarted secondary school and step daughter aged 12 moved into care. It was a difficult time. In 2002 my eldest started secondary school followed by middle son in 2006. In 2003 youngest started primary school. In 2007 Step son turned 18 and left home. In 2009 Step daughter was 21 and in 2010 Step son turned 21, my eldest turned 18 and left home and youngest started secondary school.

Mother-in-law is fantastic treats my children the same as she treats hubbies two. Birthdays, Christmasas, starting college (helping with the funding) and leaving home.
I have two friensd who made a fuss of Step sons 18th, leaving home and 21st and with my eldest 18th but there it ends.

All our family and friends have kids younger than us and do not understand the significance of these events as they have yet to experience them but when I discuss it with them and explain my anxieties, excitement and nerves etc it just doesn't registar. Then it slowly starts to registar with theirs and they knock on my door and expect help and support and words of wisdom which I give freely.

I have cousins giving birth soon and I'm expected to give them things, advice and send cards of congratulations. I don't recall the last time they sent me a birthday card yet alone acknowledged the birth of one of my children or any of their life events.

So from now on I will not be rushing out to buy an 18th, leaving home, new baby card etc. If it's important enough for them to mention it in the hope I will acknowledge it then I will learn from example. Mine were first, I mentioned it, did they acknowledge?