2024 Week 48 - One Daily Positive, Project 365 and A Selfie a Day.

I've got myself into a nice routine. I'm not getting much sleep, not eating very well, not enjoying much, not doing very when it comes to leaving the house, but the routine is helping. I wake around 2am and let Bailey out for a wee and I go back to bed. I wake again around 4am and tend to go back downstairs to read and generally fall back to sleep my alarm at 6.45am. I get up, feed Bailey and Pushkins, make tea, get dressed and take Bailey on a 45 minute walk, pack my lucnch and go straight out to work. Any interruption and I get stuck. By 11.30am I just want to come home. I finish at 12.40pm so I can just about manage the last hour. I don't find the job difficult, I just find being in one place too long hard

I feed Bailey at 4pm then take her out for a walk usually to the coffee shop or a longer walk trying to find a different route. We go out again after 10pm just before bed after watching I'm a Celeb.

It's been a hard weekend for us. Originally we turned down MILs car because it's a 2 door and whilst Stephanie could climb in unassisted I'd really struggled in the past trying to get her out. Child 2 and I had to half lift, half drag her out in Tesco car park a few years ago, she stuck her arms and legs out prone as she she didn't know what we were trying to get her to do. I'd also dropped off the 1st December gifts to the grandchildren and great nephew and great niece which include advent calendars and Christmas jumpers, some sweets and crafts. There wasn't a stop for Stephanie, it hit me harder than I imagined, especially as our route took us past her house.

330  Monday I think the shoe repair shop have lost my boots, it's been almost 2 weeks and they keep saying they're busy try in a few days. Peter and I walked Bailey into town for coffee, home for dinner and a night in front of the TV.

331  Tuesday I slept in so Peter walked Bailey. I went straight to Ledbury from work, I was early for therapy so stopped for a coffee. I did nothing all evening, apart from walk Bailey after I'm a Celeb.

332  Wednesday I visited a student in the afternoon, then home for a short while. Peter and I went to the retail park for a coffee with Bailey. I had the Dr's at 4.30pm for a medicine review. We left the car at the retail park. Peter walked on home with the dog and I walked backed to meet my friend for another coffee.

 333  Thursday I stayed on at work for a full day as I had a meeting to review Room 19. Picked my boots up on the way home meeting Peter for a coffee at the retail park as he walked down with Bailey. Evening spent in front of the TV.

334  Friday Wellbeing day, no work. Dropped Peter off at his Mums in Bristol to pick up her car as she's given up driving at the age of 86. Called into see granddaughter then I spent the night with my friend and Peter came home with Bailey.

335  Saturday Cwmbran for the day to visit Great niece and drop off her advent calendar and Christmas gifts. I got home early evening.

December

336  Sunday Day spent in bed, really not feeling well, very tired and nauseas. Got up around 6pm had something to eat, watched TV and got a box of Christmas decorations and goodies ready for work and found the Elf on the Shelf.

Books read this week: 0

Words written towards book: 0

Clothes bought: 0

On the blog this week: My garden in November 

Things that made me happy:

A well timed and thoughtful gift, time with granddaughter, cuddles with the cat and advent calendars.

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29th November - 1st December 2024 Post Comment Love

Welcome back to #PoCoLo with Stephanie from Bosworth.Life and I.

Post Comment Love #PoCoLo is a friendly weekly linky where you can link up any blog post you've written this week. If you're new or a regular visitor we're sure you'll find something of interest.

I can't believe it's December on Sunday already. School is closed today. It's a staff wellbeing day. The timing is good for me as this weekend I'm out and about delivery the December 1st gifts.

An advent calendar and Christmas jumper and some crafts to our granddaughter in the Forest of Dean, Great Nephew in Keynsham and Great Niece in Cwmbran. Our grandson in Northern Ireland had his delivered back in October and is sitting on the wardrobe waiting for Sunday morning.

It's not an easy weekend either as there is one house we won't be visiting, one advent calendar and one Christmas jumper not bought. Our route to Keynsham takes us down the M5 and past the oak tree that grows at the bottom of Stephanie's garden. It's our first trip where we won't be getting off at junction 11a to visit her. We would be taking this route today anyway due to localised flooding at Upton and Maisemore.

It's not getting any easier not having Stephanie around, but it is getting easier to accept and process.

We'd also appreciate your help spreading the #PoCoLo word on Twitter, tag us and we'll RT. You can find us on twitter here: Stephanie - @BosworthLife and Suzanne - @ChickenRuby 

I'll be catching up with reading your posts, sharing and commenting over the next few days. 

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My Garden in November 2024

 Teeny tiny cucumbers and ripening tomatoes.

The greenhouse/coldframe will be cleared out ready for spring planting, the front garden is south facing so a perfect spot for seedlings. At the moment it's ideal for a safe and dry space for parcel deliveries.

I found some hyacinth bulbs in the shed that I've potted up.

Bay tree and Olive Tree wrapped for winter and more delicate plants in the temporary green house, in it's 4th year.

The bougainvillaea has gone in the shed with the base wrapped up, it was suffering a bit in the back room with the heating coming on and off.

Herbs brought under cover. We still get early morning sunlight here, we'll remember to water them, can pick them without getting wet and when it gets too cold, we'll pop them in the conservatory.

I pressed some flowers from Stephanie's funeral and planted up some cuttings.

I've placed cardboard on the raised beds as despite sifting the soil and mixing in new compost, there are numerous weeds growing through. 

I've been surprised with the raspberries that are still growing.

I've checked the storage box is sealed and that the cushions are dry inside as the ones on the chair pod need regular airing and rotating to ensure they don't get mouldy.

We had some surprise snow in November, it took me by surprise anyway.

2024 Week 47 - One Daily Positive, Project 365 and A Selfie a Day.

Peter came home on Thursday. I need him back now, but I also needed this time on my own. I'm the person everyone turns to for support and I just couldn't be it. Everyone asks me how Peter is. no one phoned him and asked me, it was my responsibility and I just didn't have the energy. Not to care for him, but to be responsible for him. What about me? Peter knew this, his trip was already booked, he needed some face to face time with people. I've seen someone everyday apart from last Saturday, but it was good to be on my own, it had to happen at some point. 

I haven't had access to my classroom this week due to language oral exams, I've just taken my students to the library or into their lessons, it's been fine, however others have worried about me not having had things put into place and the that stressed me out. no one did anything because they didn't know I'd be back and I've had more important things to worry about and things like this don't worry me. There is only me in my department, I just don't understand why others are stressing over things that they don't need to be involved with, even when I say I'm fine. 

I've had video calls from child 4 and grandson almost daily. Grandson who is 3 asks me to go to his room to play Paw Patrol with him. I play with the toys and he tells me what to do and where to put them. it's funny 'Granny, go upstairs and play Paw Patrol for me' He can't wait for his visit next month to play with them himself.

323  Monday I was awake at 4am. By 7.15am I'd walked the dog and was ready for work, so I went to caffe Neros and had a coffee and read my book. Work was Ok, but I found myself upset midmorning and just wanted to be somewhere on my own. I had some planning time, but my classroom was being used for oral exams for Spanish and French so I was in the staffroom and library. I did nothing all evening. Just sat for several hours, didn't even turn the TV on.

324  Tuesday Woke to heavy snow which kept up for most of the day. I struggled to leave the house this morning. Work was hard, I was very emotional. When I'm with students I'm OK, my mind is focused. After work, I collected Bailey and walked to the retail park to meet my ex student and her mum. They talked about their upcoming holiday next week and it was good to hear their excitement.I still didn't physically feel right. A more productive evening with washing and a tidy round.

325  Wednesday I was able to make it into work on time having woken at 6.50am, however I did have to clean up after Bailey and take her for a walk, then straight out the door into work. Home to more mess in the kitchen and another walk, then out for a food shop, more mess in the kitchen and a chewed t towel. Bailey and Iw walked back down to the retail park to meet a friend for coffee. Home for a bath, watch TV, walk Bailey and bed at 11pm.

326  Thursday I had the day off work as I had my gallbladder scan in the morning followed by therapy. Going into a hospital is quite traumatic for me at the moment. Peter home 4pm. We had a take away for dinner and I introduced him to I'm a Celeb.

327  Friday Work for the morning, then the afternoon and evening spent at home. Email from HR about hours and sick pay and next meeting date. No 'how are you?'

328  Saturday I was awake at 2 and 6am then back to sleep till 9am. We went into Worcester mid morning. I'm really struggling to leave the house, once I'm out I'm ok for a couple of hours, but when I need to go home, I just need to go.

329 Sunday Laylocks Garden Centre with work colleagues for breakfast from 10am till 1pm. Home and very unsettled. I went out again at 3pm for a coffee and to read my book. At 5pm I was in bed for an hours sleep. Watched TV, walked Bailey, bath and bed.

Books read this week: Welcome to Ferry Lane Market - Nicola May

Words written towards book: 0

Clothes bought: Dry Robe Fleece lined waterproof walking trousers Walking socks - Mountain Warehouse £91.

On the blog this week: Introducing Bailey the Spaniel

Things that made me happy this week:

Playing Paw Patrol with my grandson over a video call, unexpected snow and snowman coffee.

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Post Comment Love 22nd - 24th November 2024

Welcome back to #PoCoLo with Stephanie from Bosworth.Life and I.

Well I was surprised to wake up on Tuesday to snow. Did you get any?

Post Comment Love #PoCoLo is a friendly weekly linky where you can link up any blog post you've written this week. If you're new or a regular visitor we're sure you'll find something of interest.

We'd also appreciate your help spreading the #PoCoLo word on Twitter, tag us and we'll RT. You can find us on twitter here: Stephanie - @BosworthLife and Suzanne - @ChickenRuby 

I'll be catching up with reading your posts, sharing and commenting over the next few days. 

Want to find out more about Post Comment Love #PoCoLo? 

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

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Introducing Bailey the Spaniel

'He's still our dog?' asks our 3 year old grandson every time we have a video call.

Bailey is 11 months old and lives with our son, DIL and 3 yo grandson in Northern Ireland and their 5 yo spaniel Molly also.

Bailey is still being toilet trained and likes to chew. With both the adults in the house working and a 3yo, we offered to take Bailey for a couple of months to help out while son was working away as it's tricky for DIL to walk Bailey in the mornings with another dog and a pram on her own and impossible once the 3 yo has gone to bed in the evenings.

Our dog, Bob died last year and we said we wouldn't rush into getting another one. With family living abroad we travel often, so the best option for us would be to dog share and Bailey looks like the best option. She lives with us and has holidays in Northern Ireland. Son and DIL are on board. Just got to persuade hubby and Grandson.

So far Bailey has travelled by boat, train and in the car and done very well. She's walked for miles on the Malvern Hills. She experienced snow and loves the autumn leaves. She gets on well with the cat, they had a few spats but are happy together now. She does very well in the coffee shops and loves all the attention she gets when we're out. She's not a huge fan of the head collar/nose lead, but it does stop her pulling and makes walking her much more pleasant and easier.

2024 Week 46 - One Daily Positive, Project 365 and A Selfie a Day.

I'm mentally exhausted. I'm tired of everything. Going over the same things. Crying. Feeling the same way, just all the sadness. It's been 7 weeks now since Stephanie died. Life sure does go on, it's just going on without me. I'll catch up, or I'll have missed some bits. I know it'll be ok, different from now on. I think the shock of her death has been processed now. I can accept it, I still can't believe it has happened, but I've accepted it. I just don't like it.

There's been a video call from a different friend every day since Stephanie died. I've met up with someone every day and there are many messages from friends on a daily basis also. Peter and I talk several times a day also. I'm not on my own and I have people I know I can call if I need to. But in general I just want to be on my own and just be. I find myself sitting for hours or walking Bailey, no tv, no phone, no book, just lost in thought, mostly not thinking about anything. It's much better than it has been. I've been in quite a dark place at times and have had excellent support from the Dr and several close friends and of course Peter.

316  Monday I met my old neighbour and friend in Ross. It was nice to meet up with a friend when the children were small, with someone who knew Stephanie as a child. I got home around 2pm and spent the afternoon and evening painting a dolls house. I sorted out some paperwork and sent off some forms about my pension and an investment. I popped out to a Bereavement group for a cup of tea and a natter at the top of our road. It was nice to meet up with a group of people who had some empathy for what I'm going through. I walked Bailey, bath and bed. 

317  Tuesday I started the day hoovering and dusting. My twitter friends came up from Newport for the morning. They left around 1pm and I just sat quietly for the afternoon and set my alarm in case I napped, which I did. I walked Bailey to the retail park for a coffee. Home for a video call with Peter, then with child 2 and grandson. I had a bath, painted more of the dolls house, did some blogging and walked Bailey before bed.

318  Wednesday I drove over to West Malvern and a walk over the hills with Bailey. I raised the roof to air the van for a couple of hours. I took my book, I read and brewed a cuppa and had some soup for lunch. I then had a nap in the van.We stopped in town for a coffee and an ice cream sundae. Home to finish painting the dolls house then down the retail park for another coffee with my friend. Got ready for my first day back in work. A good day, I was able to take about Stephanie without crying and talk about work and other things. Went to bed with a stiff neck and a migraine.

319  Thursday Back to work just for the morning. Home to walk Bailey, she'd had a wee, then out out for my therapy session in the afternoon. I was stressed from work so I stopped for coffee. Home and straight out walking Bailey to the retail park.

320  Friday I struggled getting out the door for work today. By 11.30am I just want to go home. I'm starting to feel panicky. I had a meeting with HR. Told him that GP and therapist said they thought it was too early for me to return to work, that they'd suggested aphasia return, that I was struggling to leave the house, but OK once I was out, the next thing, he's suggested part time till Wednesday to be reviewed with the intention of increasing hours back to full time. I'd already discussed more with him than I felt comfortable with. I felt coerced. I left feeling very let down. I'd gone into the meeting led to believe it was a well being check not a back to work meeting plan. I sat at home for a couple of hours, after cleaning up after Bailey, unable to do anything, then took Bailey for a coffee and sat in silence. Home, dinner, painted more of the dolls house, bath, walked Bailey and bed.

321  Saturday Into Worcester with friends for a McDonald's breakfast and a mooch around the Range to look at Christmas. Left Bailey at home and it was a kid free morning. I love my friends (work mates) they've been an absolute life saver these past few weeks. Did a food shop and home early afternoon. Finished painting the dolls house and early evening, reassembled it and put it in the grandchildren's room. Tidied all the paint/brushes away.

322  Sunday My friend came up from South Wales for the day. Before she arrived, I'd reassembled the dolls house I'd been painting, mopped the kitchen, hoovered and walked Bailey to the coffee shop, read and returned home by 10am. My friend and I had tea, walked into town for another coffee, home had a late lunch and she left around 4pm. I got ready for work in the morning. My work friend called round for a cuppa. I had a bath, I watched I'm a celeb, walked Bailey and went to bed.

Books read this week: 0

Words written towards book: 0

Clothes bought: 0

On the blog this week: Is blogging useful anymore?

Things that make me happy:

Finishing the dolls house, walking Bailey, snuggles with Pushkins, Ice cream Sundae, Christmas decorations, friends.

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