My Sunday Photo - Week 135 U is for unexpected

This is the birthday card I bought for my Dad, his birthday will be on September the 7th. Sadly he died on July 11th.

As an expat, living in Dubai, I always get cards and gifts ready in advance and leave with my mum to hand out during the year. I was in the UK when my Dad died, this was my 3rd visit this year and I'm grateful I was able to be with him the night the he died and to have spent so much time with him and the family in his final few months, although at the time we didn't know that.

In my Dad's eulogy we wrote 'If Doug had 2 of anything, it would become a collection'

My Dad collected memorabilia, his collections include football, stamps, toy cars, sporting gear, posters, records, in fact you name it, he collected it.

Dad had started to catalogue a lot of stuff and always kept things neat and tidy, there were bits of his collections throughout the entire 4 bed house and on occasion, if he had spares or we really liked something (pestered him or swapped stuff) he'd hand it over.

My relationship with with Dad was a fiery one and we'd wind one another up to the point of no return. But I loved him and knew he loved me, even if the words weren't said often enough.

I often said to him to sell his collections, enjoy the money, but he'd say 'you'll thank me one day, some of this stuff is worth quite a bit' but I'd tell him I didn't want to have to go through it all, sell it etc after he died, it was too much of a chore to have to do that.

Well that day has come.

It won't be going in the skip of course, but it is a huge job ahead of us that we all face to sort and sell his stuff and one that I'm not sure I really have the energy to do.

One daily Positive - Week 30 After Dad's Funeral

Grief is a very personal thing and we're all dealing with it differently. Both mum and I are fine when we're in the house, but as soon as we leave it and face the real world we are struggling. It's really strange, the first week I couldn't cope being in the house where my dad died. I had to move the rug, couldn't use the downstairs loo, couldn't tolerate the kids leaving their shoes where he had fallen and I jumped round the bottom stair into the hall way. 3 weeks on, I'm able to carry on as normal in the home, the rug has been returned to it's original spot. I knew I was being irrational, but it was difficult to manage. Very little has changed, I know my dad isn't here, I know he hasn't just popped to the shops, but life is carrying on, jobs are getting down, memories are being made, the kids are helping their nanna with jobs their granddad didn't get round to doing, we're making changes around the home, nothing major, just little things. There's still so much to do, things to sort, a car to sell, the teen is still making his apprenticeship applications, which have been neglected a little, there's a ton of phone calls mum wants to make to say her thank you's etc, I have a load of paperwork and bills to pay for the flat and our house in the UK, plus we need to renew rental contracts etc in Dubai soon. I really need some time out.

204 Sunday Freedom - Enjoying the rain, makes a change from the weather in Dubai.

Idiot neighbour pushed passed me in the stairwell this morning, then on his arrival back at 11pm that evening with a mate or two he was yelling 'that's the stupid effing bitch who wouldn't let me in' In between dealing with him and his antics we dropped in at my mums in the morning to check on her and 4 and 5, then went to Gloucester to visit child 1 and take her out to the Docks. We got caught in a torrential downpour, then drove to Birmingham to collect 3 from the bus station. 2 and 2a arrived in the evening and Peter took them all out for dinner, while mum and I just pottered around.

205 Monday Mood.

Up and at mums by 8am, various cars loaded with various people and we set off for the Crematorium. I travelled with 2 and 2a and made them stop for coffee while the rest of them got to the there half and hour early. I had a few wobbles during the service, but as strange as it sounds, the funeral was actually the easiest thing I've had to do in the past 2 weeks. It was lovely catching up with the family, most of them I've seen recently, some I haven't seen for almost 15 years. Peter and I paid a visit to place some flowers from Dad's flowers in vases for my 2 uncles and grandparents in the gardens. We were back at Mum's by 2pm. Mum had a sleep. Sister and I sat in the garden to moan about Dad, nothing changes, other than instead of him sitting in the conservatory moaning about us moaning at him, life does really still go on.

206 Tuesday Wide Angle.

I spent the morning sorting out insurance policies, we had a visit from the funeral directors with some new order of service with the correct dates printed on them and an apology from the printer. In the afternoon I had to make a victim statement at the police station in regards to my neighbour and the grand kids and the great grand kids got on with some jobs around the garden.

207 Wednesday Party - Really not in the mood for celebrating.

Another tough day as we drove child 3 up to Birmingham to catch the bus back to Leeds, before he flies out to Australia on Monday. It was a very emotional day. We collected child 1 from Gloucester and Peter was able to drive her mobility vehicle.

208 Thursday Food - I've drunk more coffee than I've eaten over the past few weeks, it's the only thing that's kept me going.

Off to Bath for the day to visit MIL, out for lunch and some shopping. the driving is killing me. I have 3 cars to drive and currently I'm the only one insured for them. Peter cooked dinner while I made some telephone calls to notify various companies my father had died, it's exhausting saying the same thing over and over. It was a long day for my mum and child 5 without me around so I slept over again and I'll probably move back in for the next week or two.

209 Friday Sleep - everyone was well and truly worn out, digging up tree roots.

More gardening work, I'm getting good at this supervising. More paperwork and phone calls, appointments with banks and solicitors made for next week. There's so much to do.

210 Saturday My Town.

I seem to be saying a lot of goodbyes this week in Birmingham, today was the turn of Peter. It's not been an easy week at all. I was back at my mums by 9am and after a bath, we went for coffee and a food shop, I spent most of the day sorting paperwork, most of the family came round and I cooked a roast dinner, for the first time in 3 weeks I had some time to sort through photo's and catch up with some blogging and TV.

On the blog this week:

My Sunday Photo - T is for Together

Finding flamingoes in the desert and a rogue black swan

Flamingos are like airplane passengers, they stop over in Dubai before returning to their traditional breeding grounds in Iran.

Over half the flamingo population, around 1,500 birds remain in Dubai over the summer. It is hoped that they can be encouraged to breed in the 620-hectare sanctuary which includes mud flats and mangrove lagoons.

Flamingos can be found in 2 locations in Dubai. Above at the Ras Al Khor Nature Reserve and can be viewed from 2 different hides.

Flamingo hide, off Oud Metha, and Mangrove hide, off Ras Al Khor Road, are open from 9am to 4pm for individuals or family groups.

And below at Al Qudra lakes, located in Seih Al Salam desert.

Al Qudra is a popular spot for camping and for dog walkers also.

As bizarre as it sounds to find Flamingos in the desert, finding a black swan, wandering and minding his own business was a bit of a surprise, especially as he was quite some distance from the other birds and the lakes.

My Sunday Photo - Week 133 - C is for coping

 This is my dad. I called his Douglas since I was a small child. I have no idea why, just something I've always done and strangely my youngest child calls me by my first name also.

I took this photo a week ago. I didn't know it would be the last picture I ever took of him, before he died suddenly at home on Tuesday night.

My dad was an ill man for several years, but his health didn't stop him doing things it just slowed him down. He got frustrated and angry because he couldn't do things and at 77 he still considered himself 55 in his mind. He was grumpy, opinionated and I'd try to expand his mind with my experiences of the world but we'd end up having a full blown row, but we NEVER left it unresolved. 

I sat with my dad on Tuesday night when he died, there was nothing I could've done. I know that from the minute I arrived at the house. 

I didn't know it would be just this hard. I'm not sleeping, I didn't wash for 4 days, but I'm making sure me and my mum have a proper meal every day. My boys have all been here. I have to keep trying to remember that they've lost their grandad, my mum has lost her husband as well as me losing my dad. 

We keep apologizing to one another, being frightfully british, taking it in turns to be upset, support, cry, laugh. 

The funeral has been arranged, clothes have to picked, eulogy written, flowers, I need a pair of shoes to go with my dress, son needs a tie (one of grandads????) banks, wills, pensions, I'm only scraping the surface here.

I'm driving child 3 back to Leeds today, he'll be back for the funeral. Child 4 deployment was delayed by a week and I'm taking him to join his regiment in Brize Norton on Monday. Peter arrives on Thursday, everything will be done by then and I can and will just switch off,  until the funeral on Monday. 

Precious family moments with My-Picture photo canvas prints.

This is my family, a treasured photo taken in a car park in April 2017. The first time all 7 of us were in the same country since 2007 and the first family photograph since 2004. With one child emigrating to Australia this month, another on active service and Hubby and I living in the Middle East, I doubt we'll get the chance to have another family photo for a very long time.

It's not the best photo or location, but it is very precious to me and I wanted to display it, so I contacted My-Picture.co.uk who offered me a 60x40cm photo canvas print. It was simple to order, starting by uploading a photo and postioning it according to the size of canvas required, enter the code in your shopping basket and complete the postal details and pay for p&p.

With this special promotion code: CHICKENRUBY valid until 20th August 2017 you will be able to create your own, personalised 20x20 cm (retail price 29 GBP) or 30x20 cm (retail price 34.90 GBP) canvas print from www.My-Picture.co.uk completely for free (just paying for product shipping!) or use the code as a 9 GBP discount for ordering any other, larger format canvas print. 

Check out the other photo products available. I've ordered traditional prints for the children and grandparents to send around the world and the personalised photo blanket and photo cushion will make a great alternative as a gift for our eldest child who is disabled and less likely to damage them than she would a canvas print. As she is unable to verbally communicate or read, it means she only sees us a few times a year and this way she could see us, safely, on a daily basis.

The photo arrived in sturdy packaging that was easy to open and even without a fixing kit it was easily attached to an existing hook on the wall and positioned. 

 

  Disclaimer: A free 60x40cm photo canvas print is on it's way through the post to me right now as I type. (Value £25 + £5 p&p) I will add a picture once it arrives and is displayed on the wall. If there are any problems, I'll be honest and let you know how the company dealt with it.

One Daily Positive - Week 27 - Goodbye and Hello

The week started saying goodbye to child 4, saying hello to 4a and her family.

I got back late on Tuesday evening and spent Wednesday rearranging a one bed flat to accommodate child 5 moving 'home' on Thursday. I say home loosely, because home for me is in Dubai, home for child 5 has been boarding school for the past 4 years. Don't ask me what our plans are, other than help him look for an apprenticeship and something to live and then I'll go back to Dubai. Peter is feeling slightly helpless being so far away, I'm feeling slightly (very) lonely without him, but this is the price we pay for choosing to live abroad, we have to make sacrifices in order to save for our future, retirement, old age and to support our children.

Next week won't be getting any easier emotionally as I say goodbye to child 3 and 3a, prior to them moving to Australia.

Anyway, I did manage to find a positive every day this week and I must say despite the constant goodbyes, there have been many great memories made.

183 Sunday. What I'm doing now.

The B&B I stayed in was wonderful and I was more than happy to spend time in there just chilling out till 4 and 4a woke up and fetched me before taking me into the city for the day. We visited all the sites, before they dropped me back at the B&B in the evening.

184 Monday. Yum.

An early start and they came with coffee and we headed up to the North Coast for the day. Goodbyes were said to 4a's family and I was dropped back wet and tired at the B&B.

185 Tuesday. 

I checked out the B&B and was taken for breakfast before heading into town, a walk round the shops and a beer. Saying goodbye at the airport involved an awful lot of tears and hugs and words of wisdom and reassurance and they drove off. I got back to Birmingham at 9.40pm and to South Wales by midnight.

186 Wednesday. My Pets. The metal flamingo was a birthday gift, I've no idea why I bought the inflatable giraffe.

I spent the morning just chilling out, had my nails done and then decided I really should clean the flat and rearrange it all ready for the teen's arrival with 4 years worth of stuff on Thursday. Back to the Doctor's for another blood test to see what my White blood Cells are doing this week.

187 Thursday. Sports - well lots of physical exercise.

My sister drove me to Tewkesbury to Bredon School where child 5 has boarded for the past 4 years, I've not been over impressed with the past year he's been there and can't help but think the teaching and pastoral care has been very poor. I've made numerous complaints, but little has been done. Anyway it's over with now and time for the next chapter to start. Prize giving was long and boring and only really of any interest if you were either a) a member of staff or the PTA or b) a student or c) your child received a prize. It was full of in jokes and references to things that only a and b would understand, so pretty boring and a waste of time for the rest of us. After lugging 4 years worth of stuff from the second floor to the car and up another flight of stairs into the flat, unpacking and putting on 3 loads of washing and making up the sofa bed, cooking dinner, walking back to my sisters to collect the car, I retired to bed with a headache.

188 Friday. Giggle. Child 2 has had a couple of bad days, when he threw his chips on the floor in the middle of describing his bad luck it did make us chuckle.

Not a good day, too much admin to get on with, the odd bill and loads of signing in and out of various emails and accounts to tidy up loose ends. The teen is learning valuable skills such as flushing the loo, washing up, putting his clothes away, budgeting for food shopping and cooking dinner and washing up.

189 Saturday. Move.

I don't have a deadline to return to Dubai, but I'm not planning on staying in the UK, whilst we own a one bed property in the UK, it's not really designed for living in full time with an 18 year old, he has the bedroom, I'm in the lounge/kitchen and sharing my bedroom with the washing and the cooking smells, but it means the teen is out the way and I can come and go as I choose and he spends quite a bit of time with me watching the TV. Visitors are not welcome at the moment as I can't be arsed to make the bed (fold the sofa up) every day.

On the blog this week:

Parenting: What is the right age to leave home?

Gardening, animals and outdoors: Wildlife and plants in the desert.

Wildlife and Plants in the desert with HDYGG and Animal Tales

Winter in Dubai is similar to summer in the UK except for the sand storms. It's summer now at time of posting and way too hot to be going out into the desert right now, I'm just about managing to walk Bob at 5am and again at 9pm.

Driving into the desert through a sandstorm, that cleared up about 30km inland.

 My mother was visiting in December and we wanted to share with her the places we go on a regular basis as well as the usual tourist destinations, one expects to visit in Dubai.

 She tried to climb a sand dune or two, but wasn't defeated, nor did she do it gracefully. She's 72 you know.

 We saw cranes and a variety of other birds as well as in the distance a new lake that was home to quite a few flamingos, which took us by surprise.

 Bob as usual loved his run out and swim in the lakes.

 We visit the lakes in the desert every weekend when the weather is cool enough and I've started taking Bob out on a Tuesday morning, since I've stopped working, taking my camera, laptop and a picnic to spend a few hours in peace and quiet, writing up blog posts. In February and March we had rain so waterproofs and warm clothing were required.

There are numerous plants out in the desert, whilst there is a lot of water and irrigation systems in place, I can't wait to see what else springs into life after the recent rainfall and spend some time identifying the different plants that grow naturally out in the desert.