On turning 50

Age has never been an issue to me. I was able to go into pubs and clubs below the legal age and I never had issues buying cigarettes, although alcohol could be harder. I've never dreamt of being older, I've never deluded myself about being younger.

I can't even say that age is the number you feel, it's just the age you are.

Sometimes I feel ancient then I release I'm comparing myself to people half my age, then I feel relatively young and realise I am at least 10+ years younger than a lot of people around me.

I love birthday parties and I love throwing and organising them. The children had a party every year, football in the park, swimming, McDonald's, a disco, etc with their friends, some family and cake. The youngest had his 21st last year in isolation, as soon as I was allowed to, I delivered him a drive thru KFC as we had planned a family gathering and meal.

We never had a wedding party, too much disagreement outside of ourselves as to what we should be doing, so we eloped, a few friends turned up, we went to Pizza Express and had a plain iced cake from Tesco. A small reception was thrown for us afterwards for family.

I organised a huge party for my husbands 50th. A 70's themed party and everyone came in fancy dress. 70's music, disco, foods and games. For his 60th we took over the pub for a meal and drinks with family and friends.

I can remember a couple of birthday parties from when I was a child, mainly from the photos I have, I can't recall if anything happened for my 18th, but for my 21st there was just one or two friends selected by my parents and their friends. My 30th was a none event due to many issues around custody battles but Peter did get a few family and friends round for a BBQ. My 40th passed acknowledged by my parents who flew out to see us and a colleague of Peter's came round with her daughter for Sunday lunch.

So I decided I'd organise my own 50th. A cruise (cancelled due to covid) a BBQ/drinks/friends/garden party (friends wedding rearranged and large groups banned) we have a night in a hotel for the wedding that is going ahead, but the reception is postponed and dinner at a friends. 

I have a bag of banners, balloons and badges I bought for my friends 50th last year in South Africa, that I was unable to travel for due to covid and once I've taken down the 'Happy Retirement and Welcome Home banners that I put up for my husband for his arrival home, I'll be putting my banners up and waiting until we're able to get back to a bit more of a normal and celebrate then.

In the meantime, if you don't celebrate a birthday, does it mean the numbers don't go up?