I know age is only a number, but the feeling of getting old is here for me, having hit me in the face full force in June 2017, when routine blood tests sparked a journey to explore a potential cancer. I'm pleased to say after numerous tests, including a very painful bone marrow biopsy, I have the all clear. Now just to get my ferritin levels corrected after an iron infusion on boxing day which left me with an 8 day migraine, has seen my levels go back into the normal range. Next blood tests 3 months away.
Along my journey, my father died (sudden stroke) my sister in law died (cancer) my uncle, Peter's uncle and several friends also experienced the death of a loved one. But also in the time, we had our eldest son's wedding, best friend's wedding and our niece got married also. There was also the birth of Thing 3, my niece's son and the announcement of her 4th pregnancy over Christmas. 2nd youngest son also got engaged.
But why am I feeling so old all of a sudden? Well the number of deaths the past 18 months has made me realise I'm not immortal. We've finally got round to writing our wills, we bought another UK property. Peter turned 60 and we're starting to talk about his retirement and our eventual return to the UK.
Our children are getting married.
It's not about what I can and I can't do. I've no desire to run, I never had, the same with the gym. I'm not slowing down with age, I slowed down a long time ago. I need no more sleep now than I did when I had kids at home, in fact I get more sleep now.
There are lots more foods added to my list of 'can no longer eat this because it makes me feel bloated, gives me heartburn or causes me to put on weight' but I'm happy to have discovered new and different foods and would rather have fish or sea food these days, to meat, because as I've aged I've become more adventurous.
I own scarves. I wear them.
I carry a hanky.
All my knickers are big.
I buy shoes based on how comfy they look and not style.
I'm in bed by 9pm.
I have a full head now of naturally grey hair which has been cut short.
I have to use my reading glasses all the time as my arms are no longer long enough and the light is no longer bright enough.
To top it all off I started expensive, painful and long Dental work this month, as I have 2 loose front teeth, had teeth removed, crowns put on and a plate made for the next few months, while I have synthetic bone grafts and dental implants.
On a positive though, with loose front teeth, I've been mainly on a liquid diet of rice and fish and have lost 2 kgs in 2 months.
We have no plans to be grandparents, it's not something in our control anyway, but the thought of being a grandparent just reminds of how old I am getting and it's our kids now carrying the baton more and more.
I sit here drinking wine, wondering if the menopause will be kind to me and my ferritin levels remain in the normal range without me having to under go a endoscope, more bloods tests and a referral back to the oncologist.
I've not had a mid life crisis, I sort of missed that and had no need to buy a sports car or dye my hair purple.
When did you feel you'd moved on from middle aged? Did you skip that part? Or is your idea of middle age much older than 47?
I'd love to know if you had a crisis and how you coped/are coping with getting older.