Monday, 11 February 2019

I'm 47 and officially middle aged

I know age is only a number, but the feeling of getting old is here for me, having hit me in the face full force in June 2017, when routine blood tests sparked a journey to explore a potential cancer. I'm pleased to say after numerous tests, including a very painful bone marrow biopsy, I have the all clear. Now just to get my ferritin levels corrected after an iron infusion on boxing day which left me with an 8 day migraine, has seen my levels go back into the normal range. Next blood tests 3 months away.

Along my journey, my father died (sudden stroke) my sister in law died (cancer) my uncle, Peter's uncle and several friends also experienced the death of a loved one. But also in the time, we had our eldest son's wedding, best friend's wedding and our niece got married also. There was also the birth of Thing 3, my niece's son and the announcement of her 4th pregnancy over Christmas. 2nd youngest son also got engaged.

But why am I feeling so old all of a sudden? Well the number of deaths the past 18 months has made me realise I'm not immortal. We've finally got round to writing our wills, we bought another UK property. Peter turned 60 and we're starting to talk about his retirement and our eventual return to the UK.

Our children are getting married.

It's not about what I can and I can't do. I've no desire to run, I never had, the same with the gym. I'm not slowing down with age, I slowed down a long time ago. I need no more sleep now than I did when I had kids at home, in fact I get more sleep now.

There are lots more foods added to my list of 'can no longer eat this because it makes me feel bloated, gives me heartburn or causes me to put on weight' but I'm happy to have discovered new and different foods and would rather have fish or sea food these days, to meat, because as I've aged I've become more adventurous.

I own scarves. I wear them.
I carry a hanky.
All my knickers are big.
I buy shoes based on how comfy they look and not style.
I'm in bed by 9pm.

I have a full head now of naturally grey hair which has been cut short.

I have to use my reading glasses all the time as my arms are no longer long enough and the light is no longer bright enough.

To top it all off I started expensive, painful and long Dental work this month, as I have 2 loose front teeth, had teeth removed, crowns put on and a plate made for the next few months, while I have synthetic bone grafts and dental implants.

On a positive though, with loose front teeth, I've been mainly on a liquid diet of rice and fish and have lost 2 kgs in 2 months.

We have no plans to be grandparents, it's not something in our control anyway, but the thought of being a grandparent just reminds of how old I am getting and it's our kids now carrying the baton more and more.

I sit here drinking wine, wondering if the menopause will be kind to me and my ferritin levels remain in the normal range without me having to under go a endoscope, more bloods tests and a referral back to the oncologist.

I've not had a mid life crisis, I sort of missed that and had no need to buy a sports car or dye my hair purple.

When did you feel you'd moved on from middle aged? Did you skip that part? Or is your idea of middle age much older than 47?

I'd love to know if you had a crisis and how you coped/are coping with getting older.

29 comments:

  1. oh I'm convinced midlife crisis is due a lot later, I'd say you stopped a busy life with your recent tests (congrats to the good outcome!!) go and live life as much as possible :) #globalblogging

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    1. thank you, i guess the past 18 months has been difficult all round

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  2. Your story has inspired me because I also feel like I am getting older. I am turning 35 this year and I am already feeling the weight of the responsibility of being a parent to two toddlers. My priorities have changed and physically, I feel drained. I am sorry for your recent loss and the pain of losing the people you love the most. Congrats on the good outcome of your test results and for all the big events in your family's life. I can see from your posts that you are living your life to the fullest. #BlogCrush

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    1. thank you, yes life is running both good and bad. I guess age is just a number but I wonder if it feels sooner for me having had my kids so young

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  3. Oh let me edit the hashtag....#GlobalBlogging :)

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  4. "I have to use my reading glasses all the time as my arms are no longer long enough and the light is no longer bright enough." I've got images of my parents doing exactly this!!!
    Glad to hear you've got the all clear, when others are dropping around you, a bit of positive news is just what you needed!
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back next week.

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    1. thank you, yes some good news has been welcomed

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  5. Well, if you are officially middle aged at 47 what does that make me, I will be 56 on Sunday, am I a really good person? #triamphanttales@_karendennis

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    1. I think I feel this way about being middle aged as my children have all left home and are getting married and starting families of their own

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  6. You are not middle aged! I am 48, 49 in a couple of months, and don't consider myself middle aged! However, I do relate to so many things you have said. I have never felt the need to run or go to the gym. I am what I am. I have recently decided to go grey and am currently a patchy mess of brown and grey - who cares? Certainly not me. I am a long way off being a grandparent...

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    1. My gran lived into her 90's so this is technically my middle age if I've inherited her genes

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  7. Reading this made me realise that we all age differently. I have already been through the menopause and feel a bit creaky at times. On the other hand I have avoided the grey hair so far, but I'm sure that won't last. At 49 I don't feel middle aged, but realistically I probably am. I don't feel I've moved beyond it though. I keep meaning to do the will too.

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    1. It's weird how we all age at different times, yet all go through the same things in the end, if we're fortunate to live that long.

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  8. So glad the cancer scare turned out ok!
    Age is just a number and everyone ages differently, I know that by looking at my peers now. I'd love to be a grandmother but my older kids have no desire to reproduce, neither does my teen, so it looks like I need to stick around a good few years yet in the hopes that my 11 yr old gives me grandkids....I'll be a real old granny by then haha!
    #keepingitreal

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    1. I think it's because my kids have left home and are running with the baton into the next stages of their lives, and I'm not sure what my next stage is

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  9. All I can say is consider the alternative and middle-age is nit so bad!!! #TriumphantTales

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  10. I am right there with you but I started late. My kid is only 8. She helps keep me and the hubs young! Hang in there! #keepingitreal

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    1. I think that's what I mean, my kids have left home and i feel now at 47 I'm in limbo just waiting around for the next stage of my life to start

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  11. Although getting older is better than the alternative, I have to admit, I am sometimes startled by the wrinkled, gray=haired woman staring back at the mirror at me. Glad to hear that you were given a clean bill of health!

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    1. it is indeed, i can still see myself, but am aware I'm not the same person physically and mentally I've ever been, change is also good

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  12. I'm well past middle-aged at 70 but I'm still getting gray hair. It is light around my face but the hair on the back of my head is still brown. I wear SAS (San Antonio Shoes) handmade leather sandals for comfort and live in shorts or slacks with tee shirts. I no longer worry about looking dowdy but love comfort. You are not to my age yet and I think you're fabulous! I say do what pleases you! #keepingitreal

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    1. Thank you carol, I know age is just a number, but it's also about how one feels, I don't wish to be 20 again either

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  13. I'm 41 now and I know I'm approaching middle-age soon but I don't feel it - far from. I love your honest in this post and that you've become so much more adventurous with food too (my favourite thing ever!) x #KeepingItReal

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    1. thank you, yes there are lots of positives to take from this also

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  14. I just turned 50 and I feel that the best part of my life is beginning. It gets better as you get older. #Truimpanttales

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  15. What is Middle Aged anyway, it’s just a label? Mid way between what? In my mind I’m well away from teenage (wouldn’t go back if you paid me) and still a long way off old (probably always will be in my head). So as far as I’m concerned middle aged is a good thing. Teeth and hair can be dealt with, and health hopefully comes with a good diet and exercise lifestyle. Get your big girl pants (comfy, practical and warm) and get out there girl!

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    1. teeth being sorted, big girls knickers need to be replaced with a smaller size now thanks to teeth issue

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