I felt great disappointment when my 3rd son was born, not because I had another boy, not because I was a failure, but because I knew then I had to cope with the barrage of questions from family and friends of 'are you upset' 'never mind, you can try again' these thoughtless statements and assumptions came in thick and fast even during my pregnancy.
I do wish people would think before opening their mouths of the damage and hurt they can cause.
With my first pregnancy 19 years ago I asked if they could tell me the sex of the child. There answer was 'No, we can only tell you if there is a genetic reason for doing so'
In my second pregnancy I didn't think to ask, nor was I given the option. At that point my sister had just given birth to her second child and the comments of....'one of each now, she has the perfect family' haunted me.
When my second child was born comments of 'she had 'another' boy' and 'you can always try again' stay with me to this day.
By the time my 3rd child arrived I answered the questions of 'what would you like this time? A girl would be nice to complete your family' with 'actually I was hoping for a pony'
At my scan I was asked if I wanted to know the sex and I declined. The midwife actually said 'I thought you would want to know as you have 2 boys already' My response didn't go down too well, 'If it's another boy can I arrange the termination now' That wasn't how I was feeling I just said it to shut her up.
I was asked if I felt depressed at the thought of another boy and was offered counselling.
Even now as the kids are 18, 15 & 11 I still get asked if it saddens me that I don't have a daughter and apparently I'm missing out on so much stuff. But I have 3 healthy, loving and well adjusted boys (sometimes). That is what I was given and that's that....end of...but I can 'always hope for granddaughters' but 'what do I do if I only have grandsons?...ignore them?