Saturday, 25 August 2012

Giving up smoking is killing me

I gave up smoking on August 17th 2012.

For 4 fabulous days I was a non smoker.

On day 5 I smoked 1 cigarette.

On day 6 I smoked 2 cigarettes.

On day 7 I smoked 2 cigarettes.

On day 8 I smoked 3 cigarettes.

It is now day 9 and I feel like the hungry caterpillar, but for cigarettes.

I get to 1pm every day without giving smoking a thought. I'm back to swimming 1km everyday and with ease. Head down 10 lengths freestyle, without stopping. I can now swim it in 15mins instead of the 40mins it was taking previously. I have plenty to do in the mornings and then by 1pm I want to smoke.

I've changed my morning routine, I associate a morning cuppa with a cigarette, so instead I have fruit juice, but by 1pm I want a cup of tea and I start to think about smoking, by 4pm I am smoking a cigarette.

It tastes vile, I cough, I can smell the smoke already on my clothes and in my hair. I hate the smell of other people smoking, I always have, that doesn't make me want to smoke. I'm making crafts and sewing and gardening to occupy my hands. I spend more time upstairs as I don't smoke indoors and I'm not near the door just to pop out for one.

I've smoked for 24 years, I don't enjoy it, I'm addicted. I don't need a cigarette to calm the nerves, relax me, make me happy. I need the nicotine. It doesn't calm the nerves, relax me or make me happy, it just stops that nagging feeling inside as my body screams for the 24 years of nicotine it has gotten used to.

I think I was too adventerous, I told everyone I was a non smoker from August 17th onwards. I haven't failed, I've just stumbled at the first hurdle, not realising what a challenge I was embarking on.

So I will carry on smoking my 2-3 cigarettes a day, increase my exercise, cut back on the fats and sugars and will become a non smoker on September 3rd 2012.

I'm driving for 5 hours with my son to Kruger Park and spending a week in a tent and going on safari. I can't smoke, I won't be able to buy cigarettes and I will have changed my environment and routine and see if that works.


Well my plan to stop smoking at Kruger back fired. I'm back to 10-15 a day. I followed all advice, I re read the book and I know I'm stupid. The nicotine had a stronger grip on me than I ever thought possible.

I'm stopping smoking (again) tomorrow. Hubby is away for another 2 weeks, I've smoked the last cigarette in the packet this evening. I have no cash on me and no need to go out. I want to stop, I will stop, it's just harder than I realised.


I asked the Doctor for help. I've been prescribed Champix, I've picked day 11 to stop.
Check back on September 21st and I'll let you know whether I'm thinking about cigarettes or not.


  1. They say that a craving for something - anything, only lasts for 15 mins before it passes...Perhaps when you crave the cigarette you can find something really involved to do for that period and see if it helps.

    I have been where you are, and have to say that for me I only managed to give up when my brain was ready...One day I was smoking, although I had cut down drastically to maybe 2 or 3 a day, to the next day I lit up, thought what the hell are you doing, threw the fag away and haven't touched one since.
    It was so weird and what made it weirder was that when I smelt cigarette smoke after that I would feel that nauseous that I would actually gag. Thankfully that feeling has passed, but I have no desire to smoke ever again.

    Stick with it - you will get there, and it will be so worth it :-)


    1. I do hope so, I think the pattern I'm following like yours seems to be the most effective way to stop

  2. Well done you for taking that step! I don't smoke so have no idea how hard it is to give up. Hope you enjoy the park, I was talking to some friends yesterday who had gone on holiday there and done the safari thing like you describe and they said it was a once in a lifetime thing, so amazing. Hope you return unaddicted! Polly

    1. I do hope the safari works and the kids will nag me and not let me smoke anyway

  3. I've just caught up on the last few blog posts and I'm pleased to see that you are staying so positive. Have a super holiday in Kruger x.

  4. Im on day 2 , going strong. However this is probally my 20th attempt in the past 20 odd years.

  5. Hope it is going better. I think late afternoon is a great start. The trick is to know your "bad times" and make yourself really busy then. How's it going now? I've been calling myself a 'non-smoker' since Sept 20. :)