Tuesday 2 April 2013

Parents V Teenagers

I’m not fighting with my teenagers anymore.

It’s not getting me anywhere.

When they leave home they live their own lives.

I don’t have to visit their homes if I don’t like the mess that they make.

I want a tidy home, not them.

I want the washing done, not them.

I want the dishwasher loaded, then emptied, not them.

I want the wet towels picked up off the floor, not them.

I cause the stress in the house, by demanding the above is done, not them.

So from now on, I will keep a tidy house, I will pick up their mess and drop it in their room.

I will choose my battles carefully.

I will ask for the washing, if it’s not brought to the machine then I shall just wash my stuff.

I will wash up my plate, cutlery, cup/glass after my meal, not theirs unless they bring them to me.

They obviously don’t mind using a wet towel, so I’ll leave it where they drop it, after all I have my own bathroom.

Then come the Monday morning when their uniform isn’t washed, when there are no bowls for cereal of cups/glasses for drinks, they will be the ones stressed and not me.


  1. That is such a good way of looking at things! Thanks for sharing this :) My kids are a bit younger, so they can't do or be expected to do all of these things, but it's worth me remembering for the future.

    1. ive got 4 boys aged 13 to 23 and ive wasted too much time with stuff that doesnt really matter

  2. Mine have their chores to do and if they don't do them they don't get their pocket money or any privaleges...Seems to work quite well, I get the table laid for dinner, the table cleared after dinner. The dishwasher , loaded and unloaded, wood chopped for the fire, the yard swept, dog poop picked up, washing put in the washer at least once a week, their bathroom cleaned once a week, all the bins emptied, the garage swept once a week..... In fact, the only problem I have is their constant bickering, but I deal with that by telling them I will leave if they don't stop, and that does the trick for a few hours....

    I find that bribery works really well - in fact a child theorist called Burrhus Skinner wrote all about it!

    1. We've introduced a 'tidy friday' in our house, where pocket money will be given out if (yes you guessed it) they tidy up. Not just their rooms, but the bathrooms and they collect all their stuff from around the house, empty dishwashers, sort laundry etc. Friday is also Pizza night so there is a deadline for the chores to be done in, or no pizza either.

    2. Sounds like a great idea. Darn teenagers will that mile every time you give a mm never mind and inch.
      I am actually currently blackmailing youngest son (nearly 14) by telling him that his sister has said she is not coming to visit unless he gets his grades up in school...It's a small fib (I keep telling myself, but darned if it isn't working a treat!

      Stand strong and stick to your guns - it will all come good in the end, even if there seems to be no light at the end of that tunnel for the most part :-)

  3. Very wise words indeed...
    My daughters are 18 and I have learnt also to pick my battles very carefully. They leave home in September for university and will learn soon enough what it's like to live with chaos.
    Not an approach for the faint-hearted though, requires much lip-biting not to giggle when they're in meltdown!

    1. Eldest 2 boys left home at 18 and so far, apart from visits have yet to return. When they do visit I remind them to treat our home with respect and although they may be on holiday, I am not

  4. love it! i so need to adopt this method in my house :-)