My son is 14 on Sunday. Every Friday night we have Pizza night with our friends, taking it in turns at one anothers houses.
Last night was our turn and we decided to turn it into a bit of a party and do the Birthday cake.
I love baking and yesterday morning I got out all the ingredients and asked my son what cake he wanted. As quick as a flash he replied 'Shop bought'. It made me realise that my days as a mummy are coming to an end. He is the youngest of 5 children.
The youngest has always had an issue with his photos being taken, in fact he hates it, it ranks a close second to getting his hair cut. As I tried to take a picture of him blowing out the candles, he hid his face, it winds me up and he knows it. He is missing from pictures in nearly all family events and if he is in the picture, his face is hidden.
Being expats and away from family, I make a huge effort to update the picture album, send prints back to people and post online, usually on facebook. I run my faceebook for the family only, I rarely post comments like the ones you see on twitter @chickenruby and I have recently started linking blog posts that I think people might like to read.
But I've been told 'no more mum, no more pictures, no more blogging about me'
I have to respect his wishes, he is old enough now to have a say in his private life. I've never ridiculed my kids, but I have shared personal stories about the things they've done, the troubles we've had and how we've problem solved. I've always sought permission from family members and the older children (the ones that have left home) prior to posting, but I've never had to ask to share pictures of them on facebook or twitter.
I don't own my children, but what they do effects me, my life, causes me issues, phone calls asking for help and guidance. Moments as a Mother I want to share, things I'm proud of, achievements I want to 'show off'
So I'll leave you with the last photo of my almost 14 year old and I'll attempt to take his picture to send back to his grandparents in the UK.
This is a tough one! I know the time will come when my eldest bans me too. He's nearly 12 and doesn't like me sharing stuff about him. Like you, I don't ridicule him, but I do talk about the issues his life throws up and the effect they have on the whole family.ReplyDelete
Havean agreement that I can talk about what I like as long as its about how it affects me and I don't detail the actual event or behaviour, after all I cant be censored talking about how I feelDelete
This is an important issue for bloggers. As social media becomes more pervasive and people "share" more and more, it's important for us all to recognize and accept that not everyone wants to take part.ReplyDelete
With respect to your son I'd say he's old enough to decide how (or if) he wants to connect with his extended family. Why not suggest he takes his own pictures and send them to his grandparents? Even if he doesn't want to send his own image, he could take pictures of his surroundings to keep them in touch with his world.
That's a good idea, a "what I've seen" rather than "here is me". I hate having my picture online too :)Delete
I have informed the family and told them they are to ask him for pictures and to stop badgering me, im sick of being stuck in the middleDelete
Normally it's me who avoids pictures, it has only been the last few years that I have let people include me. I basically started to think the kids might like to see me in photos, when you know, I am no longer here. As for my children, they don't mind their picture being taken, but certainly do not post it on Twitter.ReplyDelete
older kids don't mind and I do tell them, this one is for twitter/facebookDelete
I've always asked dd's permission ever since she could talk. The posts you see on my blog about her are the ones she gives permission for. We very very rarely use our real names online. I have funny stories about us both that I have never told ;)ReplyDelete
there are plenty of stories to tell but quite a few of them could end up with too much hassle, ie people wanting to let matters drop, exs etc and extended family stuff but im not stupid nor suicidalDelete
Must admit I do think about this issue when posting photos and posts. I wonder does your son post photos or comments on social media without his parents' permission?ReplyDelete
Must admit I always try to consider other people's privacy when posting photos or comments. I wonder does your son post photos or comments of his parents on social media?ReplyDelete
my youngest 2 boys regulary post photos and comments of me on twitter and facebook, usually the more unflattering the better and will announce to family on facebook if there is a row between me and hubby going onDelete
If I posted photos of my 13-year old on Facebook she would be very mad at me! I haven't blogged about her in years, and can only take pictures of her if she doesn't realize I am taking one. Life with a teen, I guess!ReplyDelete
the 3 older children have never minded me taking and sharing pictures and I ask permission if I want to talk about them and give them the opportunity to guest post on my blog but they cant be arsedDelete
I have only put a few photos on my blog of my kids (without names) saving most of that for Facebook, but I can understand if you've used your blog as one way of communicating with people back home this change could be vaguely frustrating! But still, you're right of course to respect his wishes.ReplyDelete
only use facebook for family. caused too much offence with my blog...but then its just that....MY BLOG, I will respect son's wishes but I won't stop blogging about how things affect me, so family if you're reading this, there is a comment box for a reason :-)Delete
I love the picture! I had a similar dilemma a few months back (and shared it on my blog), when my middle daughter (11) started saying how fed up she is of me sharing photos and personal stories on the blog/facebook. I was a little sad as I feel it's a personal space for me to share the highs and lows but I also understand that I must respect her wishes. I now seek permission for all the things I share. What will you blog about now?!ReplyDelete
I had permission to use the picture. I will carry on blogging about family stuff and how it affects me, but not go into detail of the actual thing the kids have doen to annoy meDelete