What makes a good hotel?

We use booking.com for all our travel in South Africa, without it we would never have found some amazing places to stay. But I do hate arriving at a hotel after a long flight or car journey and the paperwork I've been issued with doesn't match what the hotel have prepared.

A 50% deposit was taken at time of booking or was supposed to have been, then the hotel quote you a different price from the print out you're waving in front of their face and on more than one occasion a hotel has called us the night before, demanded we cancel and re book directly through them so they don't have to pay the commission. I also use hubbies credit card for bookings then discover that they want take the payment without the card holder being present and even better they tell you on arrival they don't take cards and want more than the daily allowance you can withdraw from the cash machine or they tell you to make an EFT but there's no wifi as the booking indicated.

The room never matches the hotels description, dirty carpets, marked furniture or only a double or twin beds available, always the opposite of what you've booked. At breakfast the following morning, take your confirmation form that states 'Breakfast included at this room rate' wave in front of waiters nose, because you'll often be told it isn't.

I wish hotels would do something about their lighting, why are rooms so dark? Plug sockets, please try and make sure there is at least one near a mirror for drying hair. Try not to wire endless cables together to make the lamp reach from one side of the room to another and why are the spare sockets usually located behind a heavy bed side table?

There is never enough milk for more than one cup of tea or coffee each per day.

And I'm still struggling to know what the point is of this sign?

I can still hear them knocking on the other doors calling 'room service' at 7am.