I was off work until Friday. After a trip to A&E on Sunday, a drip and morphine, I woke on Monday morning with head pain. Straight to the GP and more meds. I rattle. I'm still not feeling right.
After searching for counselling and not being dragged into places I didn't want to be, I finally found my thing. A therapist at a Well Being Centre. I thought I’d booked a chiropractor. Nope. Had phoned wrong person, but this was better. Swedish massage. 75mins of pure bliss for £60. Back, neck, arms and head. And therapy thrown in. She was brilliant. I talked, I cried and I feel so much better physically and mentally. Booked in every Monday after work for 6 weeks.
Day 83
GP first thing, more tablets. Woke with throbbing headache after 4 hours sleep. All I managed today was to cook a roast and these fabulous Yorkshire puddings which I’m rather pleased with. The rest I froze. Rest of the day spent in bed or dozing on the sofa.
Day 84
Today I found my thing. I visited a well being clinic. I found the number looking for holistic support for my migraine. I had the most amazing 60+minute massage and therapy session. I could feel all the physical and emotional tension leaving my body. I talked, I cried. Peter arrived home mid afternoon. He chilled out on the sofa, I tucked into one of my presents and spent the rest of the afternoon and evening resting in bed.
Day 85
Literally got out of bed to eat today. I know what’s going on, I can process it, I can see the road ahead, only I can ‘snap out of it’ but it’s not that easy’ there’s nothing to snap out of, I’m having to adjust and learning to live with grief, it’s complicated, you don’t just ‘get on with it’ you don’t just adapt to it. Video call with this cutie. There will be real life cuddles next week.
Day 86
We popped out to visit Peter’s mum and drop off her Mother’s Day gift and see our niece and great nephew for his 4th birthday and drop his present off also. Called in at Asda on the way home and I weeded the raised beds. Still got a perpetual headache, but if it’s not going to shift, I might as well just get on with life.
Day 87
The 2nd Mother’s Day gift to arrive, plus flowers from another son and thoughtful cards. It’s tricky trying to acknowledge Mother’s Day as a daughter and a DIL whilst accepting that as a mum Stephanie is no longer with us. I went back to work today. Had a meeting with HR to discuss how everything is getting on top of me and its effect on my health. Work was quiet, apart from a fire drill. Maths and English tutoring 1:1 in the afternoon. Coffee with Peter after work and popped into the pub for half an hour with a friend and home for dinner and TV.
Day 88
The day started very early as I was awake at 4am. At 9am I was planting some seeds. Peter and I then went for coffee. He dropped me at the train station and I headed up to Birmingham to watch #bcfc. Good result. Train home, read my book, bath, watched TV and early bed planned.
Day 89
We spent the day in the garden, I planted the fruit trees moving soil from the front garden to fill the pots, after I'd decided where I wanted all the pots to go. We popped out for coffee and bought a chicken which I cooked for dinner in the evening and we celebrated the cats 16th birthday. I had an early bath and had a video call with grandson and a phone call with a friend.
Things to make you smile:
We made our annual trip to McDonalds to buy a happy meal for the cats birthday, there was a present and a card.
I sent took this photo just outside St Andrews on my way to the match and sent it to the family group chat 'remember this fence?' Back in 2009, Peter had a new car with parking sensors, he told the kids that when then solid beep was heard there was still a couple of feet before he hit anything. He got a far as the word 'couple' before hitting the fence and they've never let him live it down. The two boys who were in the car that day didn't know I was going to the game on Saturday, but both recognised the fence and knew where I was.
Things that made me happy:
Gifts and cards from the children and grandchildren, finally getting out in the garden, magnolia, baking, medication to take the migraine away, Peter being home.
On the blog this week:
Post Comment Love - You're welcome to link up with any post you've written this week on any subject.
Plans for Spring Gardening - Since writing the post, almost half the plans are complete.
Word of the Week - Triggers - I've no idea what is going to trigger me, when or where.
