Week 13 2025 One Daily Positive and Project 365

I was off work until Friday. After a trip to A&E on Sunday, a drip and morphine, I woke on Monday morning with head pain. Straight to the GP and more meds. I rattle. I'm still not feeling right.

After searching for counselling and not being dragged into places I didn't want to be, I finally found my thing. A therapist at a Well Being Centre. I thought I’d booked a chiropractor. Nope. Had phoned wrong person, but this was better. Swedish massage. 75mins of pure bliss for £60. Back, neck, arms and head. And therapy thrown in. She was brilliant. I talked, I cried and I feel so much better physically and mentally. Booked in every Monday after work for 6 weeks.

Day 83
GP first thing, more tablets. Woke with throbbing headache after 4 hours sleep. All I managed today was to cook a roast and these fabulous Yorkshire puddings which I’m rather pleased with. The rest I froze. Rest of the day spent in bed or dozing on the sofa.

Day 84

Today I found my thing. I visited a well being clinic. I found the number looking for holistic support for my migraine. I had the most amazing 60+minute massage and therapy session. I could feel all the physical and emotional tension leaving my body. I talked, I cried. Peter arrived home mid afternoon. He chilled out on the sofa, I tucked into one of my presents and spent the rest of the afternoon and evening resting in bed.

Day 85 

Literally got out of bed to eat today. I know what’s going on, I can process it, I can see the road ahead, only I can ‘snap out of it’ but it’s not that easy’ there’s nothing to snap out of, I’m having to adjust and learning to live with grief, it’s complicated, you don’t just ‘get on with it’ you don’t just adapt to it. Video call with this cutie. There will be real life cuddles next week.

Day 86

We popped out to visit Peter’s mum and drop off her Mother’s Day gift and see our niece and great nephew for his 4th birthday and drop his present off also. Called in at Asda on the way home and I weeded the raised beds. Still got a perpetual headache, but if it’s not going to shift, I might as well just get on with life.

Day 87

The 2nd Mother’s Day gift to arrive, plus flowers from another son and thoughtful cards. It’s tricky trying to acknowledge Mother’s Day as a daughter and a DIL whilst accepting that as a mum Stephanie is no longer with us. I went back to work today. Had a meeting with HR to discuss how everything is getting on top of me and its effect on my health. Work was quiet, apart from a fire drill. Maths and English tutoring 1:1 in the afternoon. Coffee with Peter after work and popped into the pub for half an hour with a friend and home for dinner and TV. 

Day 88

The day started very early as I was awake at 4am. At 9am I was planting some seeds. Peter and I then went for coffee. He dropped me at the train station and I headed up to Birmingham to watch #bcfc. Good result. Train home, read my book, bath, watched TV and early bed planned.

Day 89

We spent the day in the garden, I planted the fruit trees moving soil from the front garden to fill the pots, after I'd decided where I wanted all the pots to go. We popped out for coffee and bought a chicken which I cooked for dinner in the evening and we celebrated the cats 16th birthday. I had an early bath and had a video call with grandson and a phone call with a friend.

Things to make you smile:

We made our annual trip to McDonalds to buy a happy meal for the cats birthday, there was a present and a card.

I sent took this photo just outside St Andrews on my way to the match and sent it to the family group chat 'remember this fence?' Back in 2009, Peter had a new car with parking sensors, he told the kids that when then solid beep was heard there was still a couple of feet before he hit anything. He got a far as the word 'couple' before hitting the fence and they've never let him live it down. The two boys who were in the car that day didn't know I was going to the game on Saturday, but both recognised the fence and knew where I was.

Things that made me happy:

Gifts and cards from the children and grandchildren, finally getting out in the garden, magnolia, baking, medication to take the migraine away, Peter being home.

On the blog this week: 

Post Comment Love - You're welcome to link up with any post you've written this week on any subject.

Plans for Spring Gardening - Since writing the post, almost half the plans are complete.

Word of the Week - Triggers - I've no idea what is going to trigger me, when or where.

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

Join me for wine and cheese - socially distanced of course

This product was gifted to me for review purposes, content and photos as usual are my own.

Once we were allowed to have people round to sit in the garden, my friend came round every Friday evening for wine and a natter. And then to our great delight the chip shop opened up and that became our new 'norm'

Yep, a bottle of wine each and a bag of chips, eaten from the bag off our laps in the garden.

We dine in style.

When Prestige Hampers approached me and asked me to review a wine and cheese hamper, having first checked I was able to review alcohol, meats and cheeses, I couldn't refuse. Cheese and biscuits has been my go to snack to offer family and friends when they've been round for a garden visit.

Any day time opportunity that is rain free sees me outside as much as possible. My Friday night friend works during the week and anyone else visiting or me visiting them involves driving so I decided to spoil myself and take advantage of the dry weather and tuck into the hamper on my own. I did add a packet of Gluten Free biscuits for me to eat with the cheese as I'm wheat free, but that did not spoil the hamper for me.

I ended up with (un)expected guests.

The chutney was substituted for a pickle which was very nice and there were two Farm House Cheddars rather than 1 as a substitute for the Double Gloucester Chives and Spring Onion, which if I'm honest I prefer anyway. At the point of ordering there is a note on substitutions. 

The Merlot is lovely but is a half bottle, which does allow for 2 glasses to be poured if you do decide to share the hamper, rather than dine alone.

I'll be taking the blue stilton and the biscuits to a friend, next time I visit as I know she will love them.

The parcel arrived and I knew straight away what it was even though I didn't open it till the following day and just popped it in the fridge to keep it fresh.

The contents are presented in a wire basket and it was well packaged. I'm now using the basket to store half opened packets of cheese biscuits in the cupboard.

This is a gift I will probably end up ordering for a friend for Christmas as I'll be back in Dubai and I can arrange delivery direct to their house.

Christmas 2019 from the UK, South Africa and Dubai

The tree went up in November as we were travelling and Christmas didn't really get going until the weekend, with a visit from Carol singers and watching the ultimate Christmas movie Yippe Ki Yay.

I had been hoping my mum was joining us for Christmas again this year and I was planning 3 weeks of shopping, Christmas markets and searching for the ultimate Christmas tree. There's something quite magical about seeing Christmas trees and decorations on the beach in the sun. But she's not coming out now until the New Year.

I spent the first week of December in the UK and went to a panto which at Sarah from mumofthreeworld daughter is in.

The Christmas Tree at our daughters care home.

Street lights in Monmouth

I didn't fancy spending the run up to Christmas on my own, there's no magic to be had in that and as Peter was going to South Africa for 2 weeks I decided to join him and visit my friends there instead of being here on my own.

Christmas in South Africa is very different from here in Dubai, it's more about family and the actual occasion. The malls and shops are decorated and there are lots of Christmas items advertised. I went with a group of friends to the Jacaranda Kinderhuis light festival, who raise funds with their light display, closing off streets for people to walk around in safely and enjoy the lights, crafts, foods and fun fair.

Irene Mall

Brooklyn Mall

 Lynnwood Bridge

 Brooklyn Mall

Jacaranda Kinderhuis

And of course no trip to South Africa is complete without sorting through donations for Christmas boxes for vulnerable children

The weekend before Christmas we visited mall of the Emirates and Dubai Mall to check out the decorations.

I've booked a Christmas Brunch at the JW Marquis Marriott, we have friends joining us. We will open presents in the morning from friends, mum and child 2, 2a and 2b who made the effort to ensure they were given to me to bring home on my visit in October and December. Cards were posted to us early for the same reason. I left and posted all our gifts and cards to family and friends in the UK in October.

Of course chocolate has been bought and we had a braai.

I've never really got used to Christmas in the sun for the past 9 years

After brunch and we will make phone calls to family in the UK in the evening. I've also downloaded Love Actually and Die Hard 2 to watch on Christmas Eve and am planning a visit to the beach today to see what decorations they have on display there.

Top Tips for Wedding planning and keeping costs down

As you are probably aware, I’ve had a busy and expensive year to date with weddings. Child 2 got married in June, my husband is best man at a wedding this Saturday, his niece is getting married in October and child 4 is getting married next September.

As a guest alone the costs are mounting. I can hardly wear the same dress to all 4 weddings can I? Other than a cash donation to child 2, we’ve not had any input with the other 2 weddings we’re attending this year, but we do know how much they’ve spent and the lengths they’ve gone to, to make sure everything is in place for their special day. 

We’ve also made a cash donation to child 4 and have already been involved in helping them to plan their special day. 

Peter and I eloped in 2002, we’d both been married before and had recently bought a new home for us and our 5 kids to live in and so we kept our wedding as simple and cheap as possible. I’m a believer in keeping things simple and costs down, but if you do want the full wedding experience there are plenty of ways to keep the costs down.

The confetti shop offers a wide range of ideas to plan your big day, choose by theme, colour or season. This is a great idea for weddings that are in the planning for 12 months or more; you can see the current and predicted trends, help inform your colour scheme and more importantly give you an idea of the costs involved from save the date cards, invites, table decorations, wedding favours to planning the hen night and stag do. 

With child 4s wedding there are a lot of people involved in the planning, we have a face book group message titled ‘Wedding’ where we can pop suggestions on anything that we come across from web searches and attending other peoples weddings. 

My top 6 tips:

Invitations -  Can you do save the date and invitations online? Only printing out a handful of cards for those not on social media. It will also reduce the amount of stress chasing up replies.

Photography – Disposable cameras on tables for guests to snap away more personal shots, especially for the evening do after the photographer has captured the first dance and departed.

Bridal Party Gifts – If you’re giving your best man cuff links as a thank you gift, then give them to him in the morning so at least he’ll get some wear out of them. Personalise gifts for the bridesmaids and groomsman; consider something they can actually use. 

Wedding favours – Consider making a charity donation. Purchase a charity pin or band for each guest on the table.

Hen and Stag do’s – Do you really need to go abroad for a week before the wedding? A meal in a local restaurant or even a party at home, this way you can accommodate all budgets and invite all ages.

Food – Not for the reception but between the wedding and the meal. It’s common now for the bride and groom to spend up to 90 minutes having photo’s taken, guests can often be left hanging around, they will be catered for but if you’re part of the wedding party you may not get a chance to eat or drink from breakfast time till 4pm. I always pack drinks and snacks in a small cool bag to hand out to keep us going through the day.

This post is in collaboration with the Confetti Shop.

What happened to pleases and thank yous?

I like to communicate with people especially outside of social media and I fear the art of communication, the old fashioned way, by writing letters, is a long time dead these days, but that doesn’t stop me from doing it. However I am going to be far more selective in future as to who I send cards, letters and gifts to as I feel this gestures of appreciation, good will and out of care and love are no longer wanted either.

How do I know this? By the lack of response to the physical presence of something turning up through the post that takes, time, care, planning and costs adiitional to the actual gift/card in terms of the time already spent. Compared to the response people will give to a Happy Birthday message left on Facebook, that takes no thought, no planning, no time and of which Facebook will remind you several times a day.

Sending a card through the post or ordering flowers or ensuring a gift arrives in advance has become an accepted thing for me to do. It will just be there, it’s something I always do. But I get absolutely nothing back from it in most cases. It could be said ‘one doesn’t give to receive’ and that is indeed the case, but when I’ve tracked an item at extra cost, received notification it’s been delivered, then wait 3-4 days before I finally contact the person and say ‘hi, did the xxx appear?’I get ‘oh yes it did’

However over those 3-4 days the people who have sent the Facebook messages ‘happy birthday’ have received a ‘like’ or a ❤️ in response. And I’ve had NOTHING/ZERO/ZILCH.

I have no idea why people do this. Maybe it’s because people genuinely don’t see why they should say thank you, they know you’ve tracked the item, therefore you know it’s arrived. Maybe they feel it’s a right, an entitlement, maybe it’s because they’re just so busy they don’t have time in their day to pick up their phone and say ‘hey Suzanne, thanks for the flowers/card/gift that arrived this morning/yesterday. It was really kind of you, the flowers are beautiful’ . Maybe they feel if they do that they’ll be expected to do the same back? I don’t know because when I ask them in several messages that I can see they’ve read, they finally answer with ‘yes, it did arrive’

My feedback suggests, me spending money is expected, me sending cards and arranging gifts to arrive on time is just what I do and there’s absolutely no need to acknowledge receipt or heaven forbid actually say thank you. So from now on, it’s just not happenening.

If you’ve got a good enough excuse why you can’t say thanks, let alone send me a card for my birthday or even send a message in Facebook at the beginning of the day rather than at the end when you realize ‘shit, I best send a message’ then it obviously doesn’t matter to you that much and therefore it doesn’t matter to me either. So I’ll just save myself the stress, the upset and the money and just not bother from now on.

It’s not about my expectations of a gift in exchange, it’s about politeness and good manners and more importantly when you live 1000’s ofmiles away it’s about keeping the avenues of communication open. A two way exchange, a response, not just a thank you or showing gratitude.

Holiday gifts for the cat and dog

I've been off on my travels to the UK for a month, leaving Bob and Pushkins in Dubai.

Peter joined me for the last week and he put them both into boarding.

Needless to say on our return they were very excited to us both. 

Since our return, Peter has returned to work and the cat and dog are never more than a few meters from my side.

There are a few things that Peter and I can't get in Dubai 'our taste of home' so the suitcase always contains our favourite food items. It also always contains something for the cat and dog, usually novelty items.

On this trip I found:

Dog Beer

Pawsecco Wine

Chocolate Easter Eggs 

The usual cat milk treat.

It's all designed for cats and dogs, contains no alcohol or actual chocolate, of which are dangerous to dogs. They're just novelty items and why not?

Supporting vulnerable adults and children in South Africa.

Before moving to Dubai, I lived in Pretoria, South Africa for 4 years. There I worked with 3 charities/organisations supporting educational projects in rural areas and in townships across the region.

I was back in SA July 2^nd – July 10^th to work with these charities/organisations and I was hoping one or two of you would like to support the work I do.

The Santa Shoebox Project is a country wide organisation and collects and distributes over 100,000 gifts every year to the most vulnerable children. In Pretoria I worked with a team who provided over 50,000 gifts over a 5 year period.  For AED 50 you can buy a gift for a boy or a girl aged 0 - 18. Sadly I won't be able to support them with collection, checking and delivering the boxes this year as that takes place end of October, early November. But I am spending a week there in July to sort the storage unit out, do some marketing and collect donations, ready for drop off. Last year I had sponsorship from Ford and worked with KFC and other national companies.

 The Pretoria Volunteers

 Each shoebox is packed for an individual child

 The hats my MIL knitted for Njabulo Child Care facility

Out in Soshanguve delivering gifts November 2015

The Viva Foundation provides rape support and counselling as well as running several educational centres in South Africa, including a school in Kildare, an hours drive west of Kruger National Park that I sourced donations for, they provide support for orphaned and vulnerable children in the Alaskan Informal Settlement and arrange family days to build communities, fund birthday parties and provide training to help people get into employment. One of their community projects is an annual Art's festival. I was involved with the education side, teaching and training and sourcing educational supplies.

There is little, if any, government funding for these projects and they rely almost on public donations, volunteers and cooperate sponsorship.

I fund raise and raise awareness year round for the above causes and I'm hoping a few of you would like to make a financial donation for this years trip. I paid my own flights and I stayed with friends. I'm looking for donations to support educational supplies, even if it's just your loose change, it will go a long way with the current exchange rate. I will provide you with receipts and photos of the children who receive your donations.

Please let me know if you would be interested in making a financial donation or click here for paypal.

Below are some of the blog posts I've written, with photographs, if you're interested.

Just how far does your loose change go? 

The Santa Shoebox Project 

Rural Communities 

Camping in a township and the Viva Art Festival 

When you have to walk 4km for fresh water