What it really means being an expat mum to adult children.

We left the UK in January 2011. Child 1 was and still is in a care home, due to her level of disabilities. Child 2 was in Germany. He's now back in the UK and married to 2a. Child 3 had just left home and was living in Reading. He's now travelling the world with 3a and based in Australia. Child 4 came with us to South Africa for 4 years and is now in Northern Ireland, travelling the world with his job and is engaged to 4a. Child 5 lived with us in South Africa for 2 years before we made the decision to send him back to the UK aged 13 for boarding school. He left school last year and is working and based in the UK.

The rest of mine and Peter's family are in South Wales and the Bristol area, with one niece also exploring the world.

We used to take family photos all the time but until the age of digital cameras, most of the pictures were just of the kids.

This is the last photo we had with all 7 of us taken on a family holiday in France in 2003.

It was the last photo we took of all 7 of us until last year and it had been 10 years since we'd all been in the same country at the same time.

In 2017 we all got together for the teens 18th birthday, we met in a car park in Cheltenham to take this picture.

We managed to get the 4 boys together in July the same year for my fathers funeral.

In June this year, child 3 was missing from 2 & 2a's wedding.

In 2019 we'll have the 4 boys together in Northern Ireland for 4 & 4a's wedding.

I have no idea how long it will be, if ever, when we get all 7 of us together again.

The 5 C's in a crisis

Last week I wrote about regaining my smile

Life has been going well, I've been really enjoying the volunteering at www.kwo.org.za a home for adults with learning and physical disabilities, I've established a routine, I'm committed to giving up smoking (even if I do require medical intervention to do so) I'm back swimming 1km daily at Virgin Active Gym. I'm spending my spare time, sewing bags and making bunting for KWO Christmas market. I'm busy emailing schools, local businesses and Embassies promoting www.santashoebox.co.za

So life is good and I'm also dealing with Hubby being away into his 3rd week on business in Europe and holiday in the UK to visit family and friends.

But today was crap, I put feeling better with the depression down to the fact I've not had to deal with a difficult situation recently and not the medication making it easier to deal with stuff.

I lost/misplaced/had stolen my bank card and I went into meltdown. Not out of panic/fear/worry, but out of annoyance at knowing how bloody complicated this will be to sort out.

I'm at PicknPay, no bank card, I'll be back. I retraced my steps to the petrol station where I know I last used my card, nearly 24 hours ago, it's not there. Youngest is searching the car, under the bed and friend is checking her house and driveway where I went last night. I check my balance online, all is good and then I cancel the card.

After cancelling my card I realised how isolated I am here, how little help and support actually exists for us as a family, thankfully my boys are 13 & 17 and in a medical emergency they'd cope/manage in hubbies absence.

It takes ages to find the number online as I'm signed in, if I'd signed out and just surfed the website, I'd have found it straight away.

Them: Hi how are you?, I'm fine (this happens all the time, I never had chance to answer and didn't ask a question.

Me: I'd like to report a lost card.

Them: Can I have your name and ID?.....no, not your account number, your ID

Me: That is my ID I'm British

Them: But there isn't enough digits

Me: I know, I'm not South African

Them: Can we have your account number?

Believe it or not, I don't actually know it. I get statements online, it's not written on the front of the card, like the UK, so I log back on to internet banking to locate it.

Them: When would you like your new card?

Me: ASAP as my hubby is away and I have no access to any money till he gets back next weekend

Them: How would you like to get your card?

Me: Please tell me what my options are and then tell me the quickest way to get access to my money please.

So I'm off to the bank tomorrow after my hospital appointment to be issued with a temporary card. The proper card will arrive at the bank in 5 working days.

I doubt things will go smoothly, they really do, here.

My friend is wonderful I called her. I had a cuppa, cake, cry, cuddle and most importantly....she gave me cash.




UPDATE
IT TOOK 22 MINUTES FROM ENTERING THE CARPARK, WALKING TO THE BANK, COLLECTING TEMPORARY CARD, WALKING TO CAR, PAYING FOR TICKET AND EXITING THE CARPARK....I'M STILL IN SHOCK