Thursday, 20 October 2011

I still feel a bit sad, but it’s getting better

I’ve been ill, which hasn’t helped and still had to do the school run, feed the gardener and cook tea, then hubby was ill over the weekend, took to his bed and that was that and yes I was bitter, jealous and angry. I found myself asking on twitter if there were power points and free wi fi in South African jails as the answer would play a large part in whether he recovered or not.
I had a tough week, back and forwards to the Doctors, the dentists aware all the time that our med aid account was running low and we’d soon have to be paying for treatment in the shortfall which is about £400, you submit your costs and once you pass through the barrier it becomes free again. We made a mistake without any guidance of taking Dan home after his accident 8 days after we arrived here, if he’d been admitted all his tests, medication, time in the emergency room would have come out of the hospital budget and not our personal account for dentists, doctors and opticians etc.
For every step I got a volunteer role at I fall straight back down, I wanted to apply for a study visa but they want my O level results, I don’t have them, it was 24 years ago, despite having a degree they still want to know my results, if I was 45 they wouldn’t need them and if I’d been through the matriculation system I’d be OK, except you can’t matric until you are 18 and A levels don’t count, they also hadn’t heard of The OU and wouldn’t accept my 240 credits until I stood my ground for 45 minutes and made them go off and find someone who had.
So it looks like I’m going to be a SAHM or a Home executive as they call me here, not there there’s anything wrong with that, but the finances won’t stretch past a cup of coffee and having gone from looking after 5 kids, two part time jobs, my degree and running a local football club I find this SAHM thing quite difficult to get used I’m making Christmas decorations, baking cakes for other peoples children’s birthdays and generally spending a lot of time on my own.
I’ve made a few friends but so far they are colleagues of hubbies and I find I can’t really be myself around them, especially when they ask how things are going and I have to reply ‘fine’ as I can’t tell them I feel the company has let us down after promising so much and delivering nothing.