Friday, 31 May 2013

Why there is no sense of permanency as an expat


We’ve been in South Africa over 2 years now, renewed our visas and moved house. We were also adopted by a cat just over a year ago. But during the time we’ve been here it’s been muted that we may move to Dubai or America, but we’ve got the children’s education to sort out, they need to finish that as they’re at local schools and aged 18 & 14 it would be difficult to move them around too much.

We rent our house out in the UK, all our family, including 3 grown up children are in the UK, but South Africa is our home now. I’ve decided, I’m staying put. I have a job (volunteer work) a good set of friends, I’ve created a home, most of the family and quite a few friends have been out to visit. We now say ‘this time last year’ and not ‘back when we arrived’ I know how things work, how to get things done. I’m happy here, I’m settled here, but I ’m always fearful of hubby coming home and saying ‘we’re off to………’

Two weeks ago I decided I won’t live with the fear of moving anymore, we moved all our furniture etc with us, the children’s keepsake boxes from the attic, all the family photos etc, sold the cars, spare furniture, we took toys to the car boot, clothes to the charity shop. Apart from family, all we left behind was the house, which we rent out and after a bad experience with tenants, it is no longer our home, which is good, as it means as and when we leave, we won’t be ‘going back’ but ‘going somewhere new’

I’ve stopped worrying about the possibility of a move. I put off doing so many things ‘just in case’ so I went out and got a dog from a rescue centre. I now feel more secure. Getting a dog was something I’d wanted to do for a long time, but with 5 kids and work etc it never would have been fair on a dog, but now the timing and situation is right.

Should we have to move then the dog and the cat will come with us, they are part of our family now and I feel settled. I'm currently travelling in the UK, all my references are to South Africa as 'Back home' 'when I go home'

If hubby does come home and say 'we have the opportunity to move to.......' I will be wanting to know a lot more information before even considering another move and maybe this time I may just say 'No, I don't want a new home, I rather like this one, thank you very much'

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