Wednesday 3 July 2019

A day out with a disabled adult child

We're fortunate as parents that our eldest child, child 1 lives in an excellent home with wonderful staff and management. Yes, we've had some issues along the way especially with me only being seen as her 'step mum' quite often, despite being her 'mum' now for 20 years and most of the time having more contact with her than the rest of the family, including my husband, due to the distance we live from her.

A while ago I found myself unable to take her out on my own, usually because I hire a small car which normally only has 2 doors and she's a bit of an escape artist when it comes to getting out of her seat belt. I'm also getting older and she's getting stronger.

Normally child 2 and 2a come with me when I visit, to open doors, help guide her with steps, carry her changing bag and assist with getting her in and out the car in narrow parking spaces. But 2 and 2a are having a baby later this year and child 1 is what we call 'a bit grabby' she also lashes out, no malicious intentions, but she can pack a punch.

Usually these days I just take her for a walk around her neighbourhood or turn up with cakes and drinks to enjoy with her in her own home. Sometimes it's tricky visiting her with certain members of staff on duty, but it's a lot less painful than taking her out on my own.

This is me and child 1 when we go out. Just like Andy and Lou in Little Britain, I have this image in my mind as I'm explaining what help I need. Click on the link below.

A trip out with child 1. BBC Little Britain with Matt Lucas and David Walliams. But unlike Andy, child 1 doesn't make my life difficult intentionally.


  1. So much red tape! I mean I understand there have to be procedures in place for your daughter's safety, but surely after being in her life for 20 years they should see you have her best interests at heart
    Debbie #abitofeverything

    1. I think they do now, it's difficult being a step parent

  2. I'm a little confused, are you her mum or have you just been with her Dad for 20 years! Please excuse me if I'm being nosey. I have a cousin who was brain damaged and blind and his Mother had so much difficulty taking him out alone, people really don't understand what a feat this is unless you do it yourself. He is still alive despite being in his late 50s and having two strokes. Sadly his Mum and Dad have both passed away now. That's a lovely photo of you and your daughter. x (oh and I so remember Andy and Lou in Little Britain! I'd love to jump up out of my wheelchair while no-one was looking, lol)

  3. You are brave and kind to continue to take your daughter out by yourself when she is difficult to handle. Even a walk around the neighborhood, followed by cakes and drinks is a special treat!

  4. What a lovely photo. Hope you had a great day. x
    Thanks for sharing with #pocolo

  5. Another honest post Suzanne which you know I admire - lovely photo, and cakes at home sound a good way to spend time. Thanks for sharing with #PoCoLO