We're fortunate as parents that our eldest child, child 1 lives in an excellent home with wonderful staff and management. Yes, we've had some issues along the way especially with me only being seen as her 'step mum' quite often, despite being her 'mum' now for 20 years and most of the time having more contact with her than the rest of the family, including my husband, due to the distance we live from her.
A while ago I found myself unable to take her out on my own, usually because I hire a small car which normally only has 2 doors and she's a bit of an escape artist when it comes to getting out of her seat belt. I'm also getting older and she's getting stronger.
Normally child 2 and 2a come with me when I visit, to open doors, help guide her with steps, carry her changing bag and assist with getting her in and out the car in narrow parking spaces. But 2 and 2a are having a baby later this year and child 1 is what we call 'a bit grabby' she also lashes out, no malicious intentions, but she can pack a punch.
Usually these days I just take her for a walk around her neighbourhood or turn up with cakes and drinks to enjoy with her in her own home. Sometimes it's tricky visiting her with certain members of staff on duty, but it's a lot less painful than taking her out on my own.
This is me and child 1 when we go out. Just like Andy and Lou in Little Britain, I have this image in my mind as I'm explaining what help I need. Click on the link below.
A trip out with child 1. BBC Little Britain with Matt Lucas and David Walliams. But unlike Andy, child 1 doesn't make my life difficult intentionally.