Whenever I ask either of the mums what they're doing a week on Saturday as we're planning to visit, they give us a list of their appointments for the days leading up to the Saturday, Doctors, library visits etc then say they'd rather wait till that is out the way then think about it.
I've been guilty of that over the years, thinking I'll just get certain things out the way before I focus on a, b and/or c, then realised time has passed by and little has been achieved.
I've been living in the moment over the Christmas holidays. I've had 2 weeks off work and we had nothing planned other than Son, DIL and grandchild joining us from Christmas Eve till Boxing Day. My husband likes to have things planned, not the details, but a rough idea if we're visiting people or going away and does like to get things booked, where as I'm more of a 'I'll think about New Year, when we get to New Year' then on New Years day I booked us 2 nights in a Travelodge, told Peter to pack his bags and we went to Glastonbury, Wells and Cheddar Gorge in the wind and the rain to just do nothing in away from home, then MIL came to stay. I randomly started painting a dolls house and decided to have a clear out of the attic and the grandchildren's bedroom/toys.
I'd informed the household on Friday that I wasn't going anywhere over the weekend as I had a migraine, that way there would be no pressure on me to go out or to take any responsibility for timings, locations, advise on what to wear in case of bad weather, meal and coffee options etc, but then on Saturday morning around 11am I asked if anyone fancied a visit to Laycocks Garden Centre for a coffee and a mooch and off we went.
I was putting off reading as there were too many books to choose from, too much to watch on the TV, too much blogging to do. I was making excuses. So I selected 4 books, put them in the back room and started reading one over the weekend, just a few pages at a time, it didn't have to be read all at once. I was putting too much pressure on myself.
There's only me and Peter in the house (plus the cat) it takes 5 mins to pack things away if grandchild comes to visit. It took 5 mins to change the beds when MIL came to stay, it took 5 mins to move the dolls house off the table so we could use it to eat dinner, then just put back what I wanted to paint next.
I watched Eastenders on my iPhone while I had a bath, I blogged whilst having a cup of tea and as soon as I've finished this, I'm off to bed to read some of my book.
The only time constraints I have on me are going to work between the hours of 8am - 3.30pm Mon -Fri term time only, some house work, dinner and washing/ironing. The only pressure on me to do things is what I put on myself.
We have no plans for the weekend other than taking my mum home on Sunday. I might go on my own and call in at a friends, we might take MIL home to Bristol, we might all go and see grandchild, we'll see how we all feel on Sunday when we get up, we'll wait and see what happens on Saturday, if we go somewhere. We will do something, but we won't put the pressure on ourselves to do something, staying a home and watching TV is just as good an option.
Of course some things have to be planned and booked in advance, such as mums 80th birthday in June, making sure the family keep the weekend free. I haven't planned anything yet, that will wait till nearer the time. Holidays have to be discussed, but if I had my way, I'd leave those last minute to book and the destination also, but with cat sitters required I do need to at least have dates (it'll be during the school holidays) There's a visit to Northern Ireland booked for Easter and Ferry will need booking soon (we're baby sitting while the in-laws are away on a cruise).
Some may say it's not living in the moment, it's leaving things till the last minute and procrastinating. I say not. I just find things much less stressful to not have a strict schedule and I like the flexibility of being able to change my mind and do something different if the mood takes me.