I've fallen back into the pattern of not sleeping and eating properly. It was Stephanie's 37th birthday on Tuesday. I'd been getting myself worked up over it since the beginning of the year. I wanted to plan something in advance, but I was on a losing battle, no one else was interested. Why? because everything was always last minute, no one ever knew what to do for Stephanie's birthday, it was always more about us than her. Going somewhere that suited Peter and I, that met all of Stephanie's requirements (flat, even ground, dry and warm, accessible toilets, access to food, disabled parking) and we usually ended up in a supermarket or a coffee shop.
In the end we had a lovely day and it did us good.
Day 34
Home early with a migraine. Caught a colleague off guard when he asked how I was doing and I was honest with my answer. After a few minutes I said ‘it’s ok you can leave now’ afternoon and evening spent reading old letters dating back to 1807 hand delivered to just a name in Rotherham from Liverpool, 37 years before postage stamps were invented. I find things like this, fascinating.
Day 36
Day 35
Today was Stepahnie's 37th Birthday. Little sleep from migraine, meds kicked in and we decided to head off to Clifton to take a look at Stephanie's old school and revisit a few places we used to take her, a late lunch out and home. We used to take it in turns for a 6 year period to bring her home on a Friday after school and drop her back off on a Sunday, often with the kids in tow. I'm glad we did something for ourselves to mark the day. I'd made myself ill thinking about it.
We take cake into work for our birthday. I took cake in for Stephanie’s birthday to share with my colleagues who have been my greatest support since she died. Peter went out to Cheltenham for the evening to the cinema and I did some planning for work after coffee with a friend.
Day 37
I got my week A and B mixed up and had English planned but it turned out it was year 10 maths tutoring. Thankfully a parent meeting was cancelled and I had 15 minutes to pull a trigonometry lesson together. Coffee with Peter after work, some blogging and report writing in the evening. Cat was a bloody pain sitting on my laptop so I gave in and she had some extra food.
Day 38
My brain is addled this week. I'm switching between year 7 history to GCSE chemistry in a single lesson, then moving to English and Maths tutoring in the afternoons. If anyone is looking for an extra in their pub quiz team, give me a yell, I'm smashing the ones on the TV at the moment. Managed to fit in writing a couple of reports whilst the students played UNO between lessons. Went for coffee afterwork to switch off before going home. I need to tidy up at home and I can't face it. Had dinner, watched TV, video calls with grandson, bath, blogging and bed. I took this photo as it's very different to the old school run memory on Facebook of a road sign for Johannesburg.
Grateful I work in a secondary school these days after a couple hours sitting on the floor with granddaughter fiddling the score and trying to lose. Not easy when it’s all you have to do is turn a card over. Home in time to watch Birmingham City on TV, dinner, bath, fresh bed sheets and an early night.
Day 40
Planned a lie in but joined Peter in Worcester to do the food shopping. We were in Costa by 9am. I wandered round the retail park then joined him in Lidl. Home by 11am. I went back out at 12 for coffee with friends in Neros and home at 4pm. Been stuck under the cat since just dozing and chilling out. Had dinner and bath, now reading.
Something to make you smile:
I accidentally pressed something on the screen while in a video call to my friend, she sent me these screen shots. I don't think I've laughed so much for a long time.
Things that made me happy this week:
Monday morning bin lorry photo, searching for my 'this time next year Rodney. we'll be Millionaires' writing a letter from the tooth fairy and teaching students new skills.
On the blog this week:
Stephanie's birthdays in photos. 25 years of being Stephanie's mum.
Celebrating Stephanie's birthday by taking a trip to her old school, and bringing in a cake for your colleagues hopefully helped you cope with your grief. Sorry to hear you're not sleeping well, and not eating properly. Please look after yourself.
ReplyDeleteThose old letters look fascinating. Is it something belonging to your family? Sadly, with the revolutions, wars and repressions, we don't have anything old from our grandparents, beyond the second half of the last century.
Thank you, it did help having Stephanie's birthday acknowledged. The letters belonged to my father but aren't part of our family history.
DeleteThose old letters are fascinating. The handwriting is beautiful too.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you had a good day remembering Stephanie on her birthday. What a lovely idea to take cake into work.
hehehe! The video call photos to your friend did make me chuckle. x
Everyone always enjoys a bit of cake. I hadn't realised my friend had taken screen shots
DeleteNice you were able to make something of Stephanie's birthday. Hopefully your sleeping and eating will get back to more normality after that stress time has passed. The phone call screenshot made me laugh. My husband's obsessed with taking stupid pictures of everyone through filters. Drives me nuts!
ReplyDeleteSleeping and eating a bit more normal now. I couldn't get the stupid filter off
DeleteI'm glad you did something to mark Stephanie's birthday, taking a cake to work was a lovely touch too.
ReplyDeleteI love those letters, I used to collect old postcards and it was fascinating reading them I'm kind of sad that I don't have them anymore.
That screenshot made me chuckle, it looks like a character from Wallace & Gromit.
I'm not sure what to do with them now I've read them, my dad probably picked them up at a car boot or a charity shop
DeleteStephanie’s birthday is a big milestone. I’m glad you had a lovely day out in the end and visited places that were meaningful in Stephanie’s life. Lovely to bring a cake in to work for her birthday too. How lovely to have those old letters to read. They sound so interesting. Sounds like you have a lot of mental juggling between lessons having to switch between different subjects. Trying to lose when playing games with a child can certainly be a challenge! That screen shot made me chuckle. Hope that this week has been a gentle one x
ReplyDelete