The anxiety, panic attacks, not sleeping and not eating peaked again over the past two weeks. At first I thought it was due to Stephanie's birthday last week, but that passed with some happy memories of her childhood and the anxiety got worse, peaking on Monday evening with what should have been good news causing me to over think the worse that something was going to go very wrong with the birth of our new grandchild. Thankfully all was good, but I really struggle to shake the feeling of impending doom I carry with me on a daily basis. It's tiring, I'm sure everyone is fed up of hearing about it. I'm fed up of saying it, writing it and feeling it. It's draining.
Our 3rd Grandchild was born on Monday, a boy, we had 2 visits with him and our granddaughter who is so excited to be a big sister. I ended the week with a migraine, but we're in Northern Ireland now for a week visiting our other grandson, so I can't fail to be happy and get on with things. it does me good to get away.
Day 41
Peter dropped me off near a students house so I could walk with them to work. He then collected me and we went to the cinema to watch September 5 only 2 other people there. Good movie. Had some really good news this evening. Off to bed happy.
Day 42
Popped into Morrisons on the way to work. Peter walked down to meet me and after the longest day in work ever, what could be better than cuddles with our new grandchild? We got home late, had a bath, then off to bed.
Day 43
Slept through my alarm, collected a student on the way to work, a full on day, lots of drama, but handled well. Coffee after work, collected my new glasses from Specsavers, had some photos developed. Video call with grandson. Watched TV, bath and an early night. Thought I might give this a go and see if I can get back into reading a book a week.
Day 44
It never seems to stop in work, I blunder through one lesson to the next. Currently reading Julius Caesar and trying to catch up with the English department so I can deliver lessons to my students. Another text to learn, I'd hoped for another year of Macbeth. Met Peter at the retail park, home to bake cakes for work in the morning and sort out my handbag and get some dairy dates written down.
Day 45
Van dropped for MOT, all good. Quiet day in work, had 1:1 and small group teaching. B12 jab after work. Drive to visit grandchildren, home late for tea and toast, tv, bath and bed.
Day 46
We had a lie in, washing on, a tidy up, coffee with friend, key dropped to cat sitter, car fuelled, bags packed. Drive to the ferry via Cheshire Oaks for dinner. A rough crossing but managed some sleep.
Day 47
We arrived at 7.30am and this one has been non stop chattering and bouncing. We’ve done colouring in, baked cakes, been out shopping, had bath time and read a gazzilion books. I’m exhausted. But happy.
Something to make you smile?
The service in the coffee shop was slow and half way through making my coffee the server disappeared to sort out a complaint at the counter, another customer decided to air her complaint via me and was loudly talking to the thin air about how long I was having to wait and how my coffee was getting cold while I was waiting for the other one to be made.
Not sure I really wanted to celebrate with Specsavers my eye sight deteriorating.
Things that made me happy this week:
A new grandchild.
A letter from the Neurologist who says that even though my migraines have been reduced greatly on Topirimate, that from 15 a month to 5 a month is still impacting on my quality of life and I'm entitled to a new drug trial to start in April.
I love where we live and having proper corner shops within a 5 minute walk when we run out of things.
Valentine's for Pushkins, tempted in Mulberry but refrained.
On the blog this week:
Sending love and hugs! The anxiety sounds truly awful.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, what lovely news about your new grandson.
The book club sounds like a good idea, I hope you enjoy it and good luck with the new migraine drug trial. x
thank you, I didn't go to the book club, the book they chose was about the death of a sister
DeleteCongratulations on the new baby in the family! Baby cuddles are the best. And sorry to hear about the anxiety, it sound truly disheartening. I haven't been to a book club in ages, but signed up for a book event in the local book store in April for the author I've met before in a similar event. Hope you have fun! Pushkins being your Valentine is a cute idea.
ReplyDeleteThank you, there is another baby due end of April. I didn't go to the book club in the end.
DeleteSo sorry to hear you've been feeling like that, it's truly horrible to feel like that. Don't stop writing about though if you feel that you need to, sometimes it's helpful to share.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on the new grand baby, a lovely thing celebrate after a tough start to the week.
Have a lovely time in Ireland.
We had a great time in Northern Ireland. The new baby is gorgeous, he's such a delight to have around already
DeleteCongratulations on the arrival of your new grandchild. I’m sorry that you’re struggling with the feeling of impending doom – I have times like that too and it’s horrible. Hope that you’re feeling less anxious this week. Glad you’ve had some nice cuddles with your new grandchild and some time with your grandson as well. That’s good news about being involved in the new drug trial and hopefully that will help reduce your migraines even further. #project365
ReplyDeleteThank you, the impending doom does lift but comes back and bam ... fingers crossed the drug trial works, the migraines are really getting me down.
ReplyDelete