Stephanie's absence has been felt deeply over the Easter break, despite us being busy with family and friends, even more so because she hasn't been there to be part of it all.
Day 111
Another migraine, more meds, then into Worcester instead of a hills walk as it was raining for a coffee and some shopping. Home to do some weeding and scatter more seeds. Read several chapters of my book and watched #bcfc on the telly. Got my ticket for the last home game of the season on Sunday. Rest of the evening spent blogging, reading, a bath and TV.
Day 112
Do you know the exact date, time and place you met someone and knew they were going to be that one friend? July 11th 2017, 10.49pm on my mum and dad’s drive, the night my father died. She comforted me when the paramedics came out to tell me there was nothing more they could do. We had a lovely day out at Goodrich Castle followed by lunch. I then dropped Easter eggs with friends in Lydbrook, and stopping at the river with Olive for a paddle in the Wye. Home to read, video call with grandson to show him the digger and roadworks outside the house. Handed Olive over at the coffee shop and catch up with friend. Back home to watch football on TV, bath and bed.
Day 113
I was reading a book a week for almost two years until Stephanie died. I started reading again this month. I read this book in a day on a drive to and back from Keynsham and while Peter was doing some DIY at his mums and I finished it early evening once we got home.
Day 114
Had a PTSD flashback when an air ambulance landed in the school playing field at the bottom of the garden. It was the first one Peter had witnessed and it triggered him also. Rather than him trying to help me by telling me 'it'll be ok' 'it's a normal reaction' he let me talk him through it and within half an hour, I was calming and he could see the benefit of talking. In the past he's felt that me talking is reliving the experience in detail and increasing the anxiety, despite me telling him that's not how it works, I have to talk my way through it to get out the other side. I do cope much better when I'm on my own though so I went out for a coffee to sit quietly. Home for lunch, news and photos of our new grandson in Northern Ireland, my adrenaline had been running high as it had been when our other grandson was born in February, maybe this explains the constant headaches all year. I did some tidying up, Peter cleaned the car and we went for a walk up the Malvern Hills to see the Bluebells. I then did some lesson planning for work next week. We watched the football in the evening.
Day 115
Food shop in Worcester, home to run the hoover round as the cat knocked its bowl off its cat pole again. Off to the nail bar and home to sort through some paperwork. Friend came round early evening, we went out for dinner. Went to bed with a migraine.
Day 116
Awake early. met a friend in town for breakfast, then a wander round the charity shops. Picked up a book I'd been looking for. Home to tidy my desk, do some planning for back to school. Packed a very small bag for 3 nights in Northern Ireland. Peter did all the ironing followed by a BBQ early evening, then we watched TV and I had an early night as the migraine meds were wearing off.
Day 117
A lie in then off to Worcester with Peter for a coffee. I caught the train to Birmingham to watch #bcfc win 4-0 and lift the league cup with promotion back into the Championship. Some unnecessary and ugly violence with a pitch invasion. A flare was let off in the row behind me. Got home 8pm. Read my book of the train both ways with a coffee. Watched some TV, bath and bed.
Something to make you smile:
My grandson telling me his new baby brother didn't want to talk to me on a video call.
Things that made me happy:
Our new grandson, Seeing the bluebells, football, friends, getting my reading mojo back.
On the blog this week:
Word of the week - Stopped
Congratulations on the birth of your new Grandson, he's absolutely beautiful and looks so contented.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you could talk though your feelings and thoughts after the trigger, it's the best thing to do I think as supressing it makes it worse.
It sounds like you have some lovely friendships.
I'm glad to hear you are enjoying reading again, it's a great way to relax and escape for a little while.
That friend sounds like a great one! It sounds like a good day out at the castle.
ReplyDeleteThe PTSD flashback sounds awful. Sending love and hugs. That is good that Peter was there and he saw the benefit of talking things through.
Congrats about the new grandson! So adorable!
I thought of you when I saw the football score yesterday, Birmingham did well!