My PTSD wasn't triggered, that is under control now, but I was upset by the news, it was too close to home and I realised that for the first time in a long time I had to deal with the upset by myself, my support network to turn to wasn't available for me.
I realised this week how much I've relied on my friends and how much I've shared with them, phoning, dropping in and how much much they've given to me, not just in time, but also how overwhelming it must have been for them to have done what they did for me.
The one friend is in the same situation again this week, supporting another friend through a traumatic event with the sudden death of her husband whilst they were holidaying together. Her husband having been at home on his own when he died. She had to arrange emergency flights home, and drive her back from the airport and get her friend home to her family.
I met this friend the very night my father died suddenly, back in 2017. She was a neighbour of my parents. She stood with me at the end of the drive while I phoned my husband who was in our home in Dubai, to tell him what was happening, as the emergency services came out the house to break the news to me that my father had died. She was a total stranger that night. Then in 2024, she supported me through our daughter's death, through the funeral and is still supporting me now.
There have been so many other people that have offered us support and continue to do so.
I've always been grateful and I've always been thankful and I know my time will come and I have already been the supportive person many times for various reasons and I hope everyone has known how much they've helped me through those dark times.
It can be a message, a virtual hug, a card dropped through the door, a random check in, an invite for coffee or even a 'I'm thinking of you'
Right now I'm just messaging both my friends, I've dropped flowers and a card to one. I'm grateful that they both shared their news with me, I'm grateful that they were both concerned about me being triggered despite the trauma they are going through themselves. It's time to give back now and I'm grateful that I'm strong enough to so and grateful that I have such good supportive friends.
I don't even know what to say Suzanne! This part of life sucks. I hate it. I hate we have to deal with it. I hate that people close to us have to deal with it. But I am glad you have support - it does make all the difference. I can't imagine walking this road alone.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear that your friends have had something traumatic happen this week.
ReplyDeleteWhat amazing friends you have though to consider your trauma while experiencing their own.
I'm sure you will do an amazing job being there for them in their time of need.
I am so sorry your friends are going through such an awful time. They are great friends though to try and spare your feelings. Sending love and hugs.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and your friends during this difficult time. What a blessing that you can now be there for them!
ReplyDeleteSo much trauma, but I'm glad you have a network of friends not only to support you but for you to support them. And how kind of them to not want to trigger you, that's real support.
ReplyDeleteI’m so very sorry that two of your friends have experienced traumatic events this week and I hope that they are able to get the support they need at this time and you’re also able to find support elsewhere for you too which will help you support them in turn. I’m glad that you’ve had such good support from them – it makes such a difference having people around you that you can trust to talk to and help you through dark times. Thinking of you all x
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