Word of the week - Purpose

I've made lots of plans this week and I've got lots of things to look forward to over the next few months.

My diary has been full of coffee dates this week and is getting booked up for next week also. I went to The RHS Malvern Spring Festival 2026 after work on Thursday for a couple of hours and we're going again on Sunday with my friend who is staying over on Saturday night. But before that it's out out for drinks with my friend tomorrow night.

This week I've booked a ferry crossing to Northern Ireland for Whitsun week to visit the grandsons. My friend in South Africa has confirmed our annual meet up in Paris the 3rd weekend in June, which means every weekend in June is now fully booked with a family wedding, another show at the Three Counties that my mum and Aunt are coming to stay for, then there is Paris and finally a meet up with my friend Mary.

I've been reading this week, loads of washing has been, lots of blogging and plenty of sleep.

I've got plenty to do. I'm not bored. Life is varied. There is so much to be done around the home and the garden and we're getting on with it all quite happily. There's no boredom or feeling that life is repetitive. 

I just feel a bit lost, a bit lonely, not alone. I don't have a purpose at that the moment. No one needs looking after. I've got no purpose. I've been reminded of this as I keep getting my covid -19 invites which I was qualified for as Stephanie's carer.

Training for my marathon in Brighton in April gave me purpose. It got me out the house and gave me something to aim for. I had 6 months to get myself ready from not having run since I was in school using couch to 5k to my first park run and taking part in 2 ultra challenges in London and Bath after I did the first one in September 2025 for Bowel Research UK to mark the first anniversary of Stephanie's death.

We spent last weekend camping in Pembroke and found ourselves only 3-4 miles away from Stackpole a place where Stephanie holidayed as a child with her old school and we took a coastal walk to explore the area. This evening I dug around in her memory box to look through her photos.

I didn't feel sad. The memories felt like a life time ago and I realised I don't need to keep doing things in her name, in her memory anymore. I've done what I needed to do. I've created a legacy for her through the marathon, I've created an online legacy for her through Facebook and my social media accounts and with the fundraising. I've done something in her name, that will live on. I just need to find a new purpose for me now.

I'll carry on running, I just need a bit longer for my knee to heal that I damaged last week. There won't be anymore marathons. I've done that. I enjoyed it, but there's no need to put myself through that again, there's nothing to prove, not even to myself. 

I'm content, I'm happy. I just want to carry on making a positive impact on those around me and on my own life and make sure I have personal goals and not get stuck in a rut and keep life meaningful.